The Grim Reaper Waits, Sharpening His Sycthe

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

I've got a kidney stone. It's really, really, painful.

I tried a half bottle of whisky to dissolve it. Someone said it would. It hasn't. Now I have a hangover, and the feeling that an alien is eating its way out my side.

Getting old is rubbish.

[Professor Bear]

You can get stones at any age - my first was when I was 12, my second was a few months back, and nothing short of morphine ever kept the pain away.  Drinking seemed to make things worse for me, presumably because urine was backing up in the kidneys/urethra behind the stone/blockage, though taking fluids seems to be the general advice people get.

Best part is yet to come - pissing out bits of stone that shred the pipes of your old man on the way out, though you might get lucky if the stone or its pieces are small enough.

[maryanddavid]

Had them twice in my twenties, horrific stuff, my sympathies.

[Proudhuff]

Insert cheese in the nearest hole. Works for computers..and mice

[Tjm86]

Good for fixing your iPod too if the headphones are stuck.

 

[TordelBack]

Jovis help you, Dr X. My - please Grud - only kidney stone was the worst physical pain I've experienced, and yes only morphine or (even better)  diphene helped in any way: not even a mature Greve` was of any use. I was in such a state when I crawled into A&E at 3am that I was prepped for surgery and sat waiting in my paper pants for a whole day while the fucking thing clawed its own miserable way out. It's the only time that the women in my life have suggested there may be something worse than childbirth.  Hope it goes better for you! I

[Hawkmumbler]

Grud on a greenie! Had one a few years ago, was most unexpected at only 18, a truly terrible experience I would wish upon no one.

[JLC]

I've got a kidney stone. It's really, really, painful.

I tried a half bottle of whisky to dissolve it. Someone said it would. It hasn't. Now I have a hangover, and the feeling that an alien is eating its way out my side.

Getting old is rubbish.

How old are you?

Not that old I guess if you think the solution is to drink half a bottle of whisky/

[TordelBack]

I dunno, half a bottle of whiskey cures most things, albeit temporarily.

[Satanist]

Make sure and leave me all your Nintendo gear in the will 

[JayzusB.Christ]

I feel left out now. I never had a kidney stone.  Couple of kidney infections is all, which are not painful, just very, very uncomfortable (essentially being in a permanent state of dying for a piss, and not being able to have one).

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

I've got a kidney stone. It's really, really, painful.

I tried a half bottle of whisky to dissolve it. Someone said it would. It hasn't. Now I have a hangover, and the feeling that an alien is eating its way out my side.

Getting old is rubbish.

How old are you?

Not that old I guess if you think the solution is to drink half a bottle of whisky/

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway.

[Proudhuff]

You should try one of those long twisty spoons, that should do it 

That or work it out with a pencil!

[Dandontdare]

Shockwave Lithotripsy is the way to go - they disintegrate the stones with ultrasonics. Not sure how easily available it is on the NHS but ask your doc.

My flatmate at uni passed a kidney stone once - we heard a blood curdling scream from the bathroom and found him passed pout on the floor in a puddle of blood and urine.

[Proudhuff]

passed out on the floor in a puddle of blood and urine.

Yeah but we've all done that!