The Nikolai Dante Saga in a Nutshell

[Adrian Bamforth]

There lived a certain man in the age of Dynasty
Through his weapons crest, he found his identity
A lothario and thief, with a taste for all things wild
But to Dmitri Romanov he was just a bastard child
He caught the eye of Princess Jena
Though she was daughter of the Czar
He fought both armies just to see her
War was never far

Na na Nikolai, oh that sexy Dante guy
He lived his life for danger and thrills
Na na Nikolai, made the Russian ladies cry
He was a cat who was too cool to kill

The Romanovs tried to get the kid in line
They trained him up and they gave him Rudenshtein
Taught him loyalty and let him have his fun
But most of the time he looked after number one
He stole the Dark Star from its keeper
But his estranged wife's death he saw
Saved the Princess from her evil suitor
Sparking the Czar's war

He led a ragged band and it felt like suicide 
Though he did at least have Elena on his side
Comes face to face with Jena in a duel
Though he spared her life - he was just a love struck fool
He beat his turncoat brother Konstantin 
Declared "heroes all be damned"
When they thought the battle was won, he was
Shot by Jena's hand

Na na Nikolai, Romanov on the front line
He led a squad of deserters and thieves
Na na Nikolai, hero of the Rhudenstein
But he still got the girls on their knees

The Romanovs fall, betrayed my their own kin
The Czar's top man turns out to be Konstantin
Tired and lost, the Romanovs retreat
The patriarch cannot live with his defeat
Dante was set free by Princess Jena
Returns to a life of thievery
Reunited with his pirate mother
And the open seas

He save Jena's life from an evil terrorist
With her demon spores it turned out to be his sis
But he had found his lost love Lauren on the way
It seemed as if he keep could not keep the girls at bay
Captured by the Imperial forces
Made to work in the Czar's name
Fighting extradimentional forces
From another plane

Na na Nikolai, Romanov on the front line
He led a squad of deserters and thieves
Na na Nikolai, hero of the Rhudenstein
But he still got the girls on their knees

It doesn't last  long fighting on the Czar's side
When he sees how the Czar was still prone to genocide
Arkady brings him down when he tries to murder Vlad
Jena rescues him and cuts herself off from her dad
They create a mighty rebel army
From a band of thieves and whores.
Vowed to rise and defeat this evil tyrant
And end Russia's wars

They capture Vladimir and put the Czar on trial
For a regime change they offer him exile
Arkady flips - seems Dmitri isn't dead
He kidnaps Jena to force her soon to wed
Dante starts a bloody revolution
His mother kills Dmitri off and dies
Vladimir escapes for retribution
But Nikolai survived

Na na Nikolai, redeemer of imperial crimes
Then beat the Czar in Russian Roulette
Na na Nikolai, half his friends and family died
The sacrifices he won't forget

Na na Nikolai, fighting on the people's side
He killed Konstantin in a duel
Na Na Nikolai, then took Jena for his bride
And Russia celebrated Dante's rule

Oh, those Romanovs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vov3rLdSJEI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[WhitBloke]

Magic!   Would the b-side be "By The 80-Foot Amazon" by any chance?

[Proudhuff]

They lived, they died, they came back,
They lived, they died, they came back,
They lived, they died, they came back,
They lived, they died, they came back,
Gabba gabba hey!

[Patrick]

You guys do know about this, don't you?

How do you cover the world's most ridiculous song? You make it more ridiculous.

[The Monarch]

brilliant!