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General Chat => Off Topic => Topic started by: Bouwel on 10 August, 2009, 11:08:13 am

Title: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 10 August, 2009, 11:08:13 am
Well, you did ask for it.

Today I went looking for a pencil pot in Tesco. they didn't have any.

Darn.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 10 August, 2009, 11:30:14 am

Today I went looking for a pencil pot in Tesco. they didn't have any.

What -- exactly -- is wrong with a mug?

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 10 August, 2009, 11:41:00 am
A good point well made. A mug it is.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 August, 2009, 11:42:44 am
You can never be too sure that the residue of previous occupying liquids has been fully expunged. Coffee flavoured pencils may sound delicious, but then you keep sucking them and you die of lead poisoning.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 10 August, 2009, 11:56:21 am
You can never be too sure that the residue of previous occupying liquids has been fully expunged. Coffee flavoured pencils may sound delicious, but then you keep sucking them and you die of lead poisoning.

You're a glass-half-empty kind of guy, aren't you? I can tell ...

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 10 August, 2009, 12:00:34 pm
No-one ever died of repeatedly ingesting minute quantities of clay and graphite. So there.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Minkyboy on 10 August, 2009, 12:04:13 pm
My colleague who usually gets the milk in is on holiday.
So I sit here sans tea and the shop is all of 300m away.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 10 August, 2009, 01:03:25 pm
I hung some pictures in my living room this morning and one is just a tiny bit lower than the others.

How mildly annoying.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 10 August, 2009, 01:58:21 pm
The petrol station where I often grab coffee in the morning has stopped their rather excellent coffee-and-a-muffin combo deal.  And this on a day when I was too lazy to bring my flask.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 10 August, 2009, 02:13:28 pm
My trousers have been washed with a piece of paper in the back pocket. So now I have a pocket lined with flaky paper. I'm slightly peeved.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 10 August, 2009, 02:25:50 pm
I just went for a walk (in the rain) to deliver my step-grandson's birthday present.

He wasn't in.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 10 August, 2009, 03:31:54 pm
I've eaten something that has slightly upset my stomach, giving me tremendously bad wind. And tonight is "date night". Married squaxx will understand my mild annoyance.

Steev
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 10 August, 2009, 03:35:04 pm
And tonight is "date night". Married squaxx will understand my mild annoyance.

You're weird. My wife and I eat dates whenever we feel like it, without having to specify a special night for it.

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 10 August, 2009, 03:42:18 pm
I can't help thinking a whole night on the dates is going to compound your wind problem Steev.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 10 August, 2009, 03:47:10 pm
And keep an eye on the monkey - if he keels over do not eat the dates, even if you've already thrown them in the air with a view to catching them in your mouth. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 10 August, 2009, 04:18:26 pm
I've eaten something that has slightly upset my stomach, giving me tremendously bad wind. And tonight is "date night". Married squaxx will understand my mild annoyance.

Steev

I hate to imagine what would happen if your stomach was seriously upset or inconsolable.

Try drinking some Prune juice as it will calm down your stomach considerably.This bit of advice if heeded will please and satisfy my childish and destructive personality considerably.

Also you might have to cancel the date you have fixed up for tonight especially if it is the first date you have with this person as you might not create a very good first impression and when you are on a date first impressions count.Give her plenty of notice as girls dont like being stood up.

I am not married but i can understand your annoyance over this.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 10 August, 2009, 09:38:20 pm
I've come back to work to discover that my company no longer deems it acceptable for me to have my ID swipe card attached to my belt on one of those retractable elastic thingies that they issued me with, but that it ABSOLUTELY MUST be worn around my neck on a bright blue lanyard (I even hate the word 'lanyard') so that it gets tangled with my headset lead, clatters on my desk and keyboard and makes me look like a tit.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 10 August, 2009, 11:24:06 pm
I've come back to work to discover that my company no longer deems it acceptable for me to have my ID swipe card attached to my belt on one of those retractable elastic thingies that they issued me with, but that it ABSOLUTELY MUST be worn around my neck on a bright blue lanyard (I even hate the word 'lanyard') so that it gets tangled with my headset lead, clatters on my desk and keyboard and makes me look like a tit.

I feel your pain, brother. My company have issued "identity cards", ostensibly so if we are in the community with service users who are displaying challenging behaviour, we can flash them and reassure the general public that any techniques we may use to "calm them down" are in the best interests of the person involved and they should not be alarmed.

I made my disssatisfaction with the design very clear at template stage. But ohhhh no, I was overruled by a fucking idiot.

Hence, I now have a little laminated card with my picture on it, which states in big bold letters "This person has an Autistic Spectrum Disorder and/ or Learning Disability". No I bloody don't, but the person I am with might.

Useful in getting into cinemas cheap, I guess- but not overly professional!

Steev

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 August, 2009, 11:24:39 pm
No-one ever died of repeatedly ingesting minute quantities of clay and graphite. So there.

What do you think causes syphilis?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 10 August, 2009, 11:28:21 pm
No-one ever died of repeatedly ingesting minute quantities of clay and graphite. So there.

What do you think causes syphilis?

An infection from the Treponema Pallidum bacterium.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 10 August, 2009, 11:28:45 pm


What do you think causes syphilis?

Shagging your Mum, mostly.

Cheers!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 August, 2009, 11:32:20 pm
My mum has been dead for 3 years.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 10 August, 2009, 11:39:28 pm
My mum has been dead for 3 years.

Should probably have cleared up by now, then. Result!

Quickly, Manuel! The shovel

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 10 August, 2009, 11:44:33 pm
My mum has been dead for 3 years.
And you've only just found the bagels?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 11 August, 2009, 12:45:02 am
Jim found the bagels.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 11 August, 2009, 07:27:30 am
Not the first place I'd have looked meself.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Minkyboy on 11 August, 2009, 08:50:01 am
  ;D And there goes a mouthful of toast all over my laptop.

Cheers guys!

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 11 August, 2009, 12:57:53 pm
My small cut on the end of the right pointing digit is mildly annoying and when it hardens/heals it HAS to be bitten starting the whole thing off again
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 11 August, 2009, 04:49:20 pm
I took a long walk back home from work today and needed a drink. I decided to try one of those new fangled JD & Coke cans but the lady behind the counter at the Tesco Express looked at me like I was something she'd stepped on. I wasn't aware that we were living under prohibition.

Also this morning I accidently stepped on a slug.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: worldshown on 11 August, 2009, 08:37:32 pm

Also this morning I accidently stepped on a slug.

Keep stepping. The buggers are eating my courgettes.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 11 August, 2009, 08:48:28 pm
The buggers are eating my courgettes.

Plastic cup with an inch or so of beer in the bottom. sink the cup into the soil so that it's flush with ground level. Come the morning, you'll have a cup (or several cups, if your veg patch is of a size to require it) full of drowned slugs and, in theory, unmunched courgettes.

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Eric Plumrose on 11 August, 2009, 09:49:10 pm
The buggers are eating my courgettes.
Plastic cup with an inch or so of beer in the bottom. sink the cup into the soil so that it's flush with ground level. Come the morning, you'll have a cup (or several cups, if your veg patch is of a size to require it) full of drowned slugs and, in theory, unmunched courgettes.

If that doesn't work, try sprinkling broken egg shell over the surrounding soil.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 11 August, 2009, 10:02:04 pm
The buggers are eating my courgettes.
Plastic cup with an inch or so of beer in the bottom. sink the cup into the soil so that it's flush with ground level. Come the morning, you'll have a cup (or several cups, if your veg patch is of a size to require it) full of drowned slugs and, in theory, unmunched courgettes.

If that doesn't work, try sprinkling broken egg shell over the surrounding soil.

And if THAT doesn't work, an all-night vigil with a very small shotgun.

Steev
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 11 August, 2009, 11:07:32 pm
Before strawberry plants completely covered all the soil on my boarders I used to put out slug traps. Glass jars rather than plastic cups. When I had to empty them the stench was terrible. Glad I don't have to do that any more. My tip: stop growing courgettes. Grow strawberries instead. The slugs won't be interested in them until they turn pink. Pick them before they turn red and you'll get to eat them yourself instead of the slugs getting the best of them. Pinkish strawberries ripen up okay indoors, even in the fridge.

Slug traps stink like bloody heck, but they're quite effective. Or you can grow comfrey, which slugs will apparently eat in preference to anything else. So they say.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 11 August, 2009, 11:10:52 pm
One of my very favourite things about this board, is the way it can take the most unexpected turns. I mean, there's thread drift, and then there's a thread about life's irritations turning into Gardener's Question Time.

Cheers!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 11 August, 2009, 11:16:52 pm
Funny story - we had to abandon the fruit and veggie garden this year because my 6 year old daughter started "snail collecting", hunting for snails with pretty shells and keeping them in a small aquarium I bought her (I know, I know, but it's terribly difficult for a daddy to resist his little girl as some of you may well know). Anyway, she was so mortified by the dead snails and slugs that for the sake of her potential pets, I called it quits for this season  :-[.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 11 August, 2009, 11:37:20 pm
One of my very favourite things about this board, is the way it can take the most unexpected turns. I mean, there's thread drift, and then there's a thread about life's irritations turning into Gardener's Question Time.

Cheers!

Jim

And it's all thanks to me.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 12 August, 2009, 12:07:53 am
I think most of us thank your mum.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 12 August, 2009, 07:40:58 am
And it's all thanks to me.

Like most of this board's pleasures, it's despite you.

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 12 August, 2009, 09:30:34 am
You also get various other creatures in you jars...This season I've had a bbay mouse and a small frog, as jim says the smell at emptying time is ripe but worth it for the veggies. An odd slug patrol at night with a torch also helps.

Nonstop fresh salads, and to come: Cauiflower, courgettes (got a great recipe for summer courgette soup if you want it), carrots, Parsnips, onions, basil, leeks, neeps and cucumbers all on the go too

Should be on the other thread, but my first Butternut squash has appeared overnight and I'm strangely proud  ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 12 August, 2009, 10:04:41 am
And try to attract a hedgehog to your garden. Cute for the kids to watch, and hungry for slugs in the meantime.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: DavidXBrunt on 12 August, 2009, 10:11:24 am
A colleague and I spent a smashing afternoon yesterday with our clients picking the potatoes we'd planted earlier in the year. A small but satisfying crop for a minute investment of time and energy. We'll be doing it properly next year.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 12 August, 2009, 10:40:06 am
I suppose I'm fortunate that the only vertebrates that can get into my garden are birds, as all the gardens in my neighbourhood are walled; so no mice. There was a rat once, but it disappeared again within minutes; presumably it scrambled over a wall. There's a hedgehog hospital in my town and because they're always eager to hear from people who could give a recuperating hedgehog a home it would be possible to borrow one from them. I must do that one day, as we have far too many slugs.

Squashes and pumpkins are very easy to grow, but you need to start them early (in pots until they get big enough to survive in the ground), and they need plenty of soil and room to grow and daily watering. I say get them in early (no later than March) because the more growing time they have the better.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: worldshown on 12 August, 2009, 11:41:29 am
Cheers for the tips, guys. Anything that prevents another scene like this...

(http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb239/worldshown/slugattack2.jpg)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 12 August, 2009, 11:51:43 am
The horror!

I'll say I've never had a decent meal incorporating corgette, but that may be down to my mediocre cooking skills.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Minkyboy on 12 August, 2009, 04:08:27 pm
Corgette is pretty good fried and added to a salad.

Now marrow on the other hand! What a worthless mouthful of watery pulp (steady Roger).
I've only ever enjoyed marrow when it was stuffed with mince and onion, and that was because it totally masked the taste of marrow.

"Botanically, however, the zucchini is an immature fruit, being the swollen ovary of the female zucchini flower."

Sick I call it, no wonder everyone hates them!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 12 August, 2009, 04:12:36 pm
I have a mild cold.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 12 August, 2009, 04:19:29 pm
Corgette is pretty good fried and added to a salad.

I always struggled with courgette until my wife started to fry them. Now glad to report no problem.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 August, 2009, 06:55:40 pm
I had a meeting arranged for this evening at 7.00pm about some work and it has been cancelled which is annoying because i have been building up to it all day.Of course i got the call that it was off at 2pm when i was out so i hadnt bothered to check voicemail until now and of course now the meeting has been forwarded to Thursday  at a time when i cant attend the meeting because i am doing something else which is unavoidable.

Eventually we will get there.....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 13 August, 2009, 11:27:36 am
The new TV, stand & Blu-ray player are all next to me in the dining room and like a twat I'm waiting on some HDMI cables coming in the post (they were a LOT cheaper). Please let them turn up today.

I knew I should have ordered them earlier >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 August, 2009, 12:05:28 pm
Re: courgettes, not minor impediments...

Being vegetarian, a lot of my meals start off with a diced onion in a pan with a press of garlic, a splash of oil and a splash of water. It may end up as curry, risotto, stir-fry, spaghetti sauce, salsa, couscous, cottage pie, chilli or mousaka.

Courgette can go in any of that lot. The time to put the courgette in is at the start, with the onions.

But if you want to eat courgette as a vegetable, I'd recommend either slicing it lengthways to go in a stir-fry, frying it in butter or oil, or roasting it in the oven with some other Mediterranean vegetables.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 13 August, 2009, 12:07:34 pm
...because 'Unsubscribe Requests' never work.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 13 August, 2009, 12:34:02 pm
Re: courgettes, not minor impediments...

Being vegetarian, a lot of my meals start off with a diced onion in a pan with a press of garlic, a splash of oil and a splash of water. It may end up as curry, risotto, stir-fry, spaghetti sauce, salsa, couscous, cottage pie, chilli or mousaka.

Again, Usher, you surprise me. I'm a vegetarian as well, and it sounds as though most of our cooking begins the same way. I use a lot of onions, peppers and garlic, and sometimes courgettes, though I'm not the biggest fan and can do without.

Our garden is usually heavy on the cucumbers, lettuce, tomatoes and peppers. Last year we tried carrots, but my daughter weeded most of them bu mistake!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 August, 2009, 02:16:12 pm
Tip for the meat-eaters: A delicious way of eating up courgettes is to slice 'em and fry them off in some oil and water with an onion, some garlic and lots of little chopped-up bits of grilled or uncooked bacon. I don't know which works best, grilling first or not, as I haven't cooked or eaten bacon in 20 years. But it's a way to get the best out of courgettes.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 August, 2009, 03:24:07 pm
I just cut myself shaving while having a bath its only a tiny cut on the edge of my nose but the bastard wont stop bleeding so i had to stick sellotape over the cut in an attempt to stop the bleeding and it looks a mess and i have to leave the house in 15 minutes .
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 13 August, 2009, 03:26:10 pm
You need a Styptic pencil.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: WoD on 13 August, 2009, 04:14:26 pm
I just cut myself shaving while having a bath its only a tiny cut on the edge of my nose but the bastard wont stop bleeding so i had to stick sellotape over the cut in an attempt to stop the bleeding and it looks a mess and i have to leave the house in 15 minutes .

You shave your nose Peter??  Put ice on it, it'll help.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 August, 2009, 05:46:36 pm
Poor Peter. But LOL @ 'sellotape'! - reminds of an old strip that appeared in Viz.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 13 August, 2009, 05:49:25 pm
To the vegetarians: whatever it is you're cooking... it needs bacon in it!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 13 August, 2009, 05:52:04 pm
We've got facon, Trouty!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 13 August, 2009, 05:53:39 pm
Not the same. Also, courgettes taste bloody awful.

Someone had to say it.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 August, 2009, 05:59:17 pm
I agree, pretend bacon isn't the same. It has its uses, like it goes nicely with scrambled egg on toast, which is how I had it for lunch today. You can't fry it up with courgettes though.

In which case, I advocate frying off the onions, courgette and garlic with some mushrooms and green peppers and the oxo cube of your choice.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 August, 2009, 06:08:43 pm
I wasnt actually shaving my nose as i havent quite got that much of a problem with hair but it was just in the corner where my nose starts if that makes any sense.It was a new razor and i was rushing at the time.The sellotape did do the trick though but only because i have run out of Gaffer tape.Gaffer tape is my first aid kit if i cut myself at work  .I dont know much about styptic pencils so i will look it up.


Courgettes are not bad as part of an italian tomatoe sauce and not bad sliced thinly on a pizza.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 13 August, 2009, 06:09:48 pm
Tonight I'm grilling up some fantastic portobello mushroom sandwiches. Went to the market, bought some fresh bread, mozarella cheese, peppers, onions and (of course) portobellos. Add some spices, grill and it's wonderful!

Facon and other fake meats have their uses, but we don't rely on them much. During the summer when we grill outside, we do tend to eat the fake kielbasa and burgers, but that's about it. Oh, and we'll have vegetarian tacos from time to time.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Minkyboy on 13 August, 2009, 06:14:07 pm
Gardeners question time and now cooking with locusts, great thread!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 13 August, 2009, 06:18:09 pm
Gardeners question time and now cooking with locusts, great thread!

I suppose picky locusts are rare...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 13 August, 2009, 06:20:50 pm
Today I stepped in an enormous pile of dogshit, because I was walking over the Hill reading my Fortean Times (cheers Sefton, for reminding me I hadn't picked it up in far too long). When I had removed all the shit from my trainer, I got home to find my youngest son, Bela, had taken the free "dalek slime" that he got with Dr Who Adventures comic today, and shoved it all in his pants "to see what it felt like".

Steev
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 August, 2009, 06:24:25 pm
A charming tale indeed, which his parents and now the entire population of cyberspace, can remind him of when he's in his mid-teens and dating.

 ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 13 August, 2009, 06:44:08 pm
Bought Watchmen on Blu-ray this afternoon (just tested it on the new set up ) and the bloody box is broken inside so the 2nd & 3rd disc tray falls out!
Off to HMV tomorrow for an exchange   
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 13 August, 2009, 07:17:36 pm
Compy didn't work for a coupla hours.

All vegetables are gross.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 13 August, 2009, 07:32:20 pm
Today I stepped in an enormous pile of dogshit, because I was walking over the Hill reading my Fortean Times (cheers Sefton, for reminding me I hadn't picked it up in far too long). When I had removed all the shit from my trainer, I got home to find my youngest son, Bela, had taken the free "dalek slime" that he got with Dr Who Adventures comic today, and shoved it all in his pants "to see what it felt like".

Steev

After the gardener's question time interlude (very informative) that made me laugh like a twat after a particularly bad day, cheers mate.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 13 August, 2009, 08:11:24 pm
Being vegetarian, a lot of my meals start off with a diced onion in a pan with a press of garlic, a splash of oil and a splash of water. It may end up as curry, risotto, stir-fry, spaghetti sauce, salsa, couscous, cottage pie, chilli or mousaka.
Astounding. I'm the least vegetarian person your likely to meet and much of my cooking starts off the same way.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 August, 2009, 08:11:54 pm
25 spam emails in my inbox but i dont remember signing up for spam.

I also get loads of spam calls because of my telephone number.I usually dont pick up when i know its a spam call because i can tell because of some kind of ESP that i have but when i do pick up and its a spam call and i am constantly amazed at peoples rudeness sometimes.

For example yesterday i answered a spam call and the person on the other end just says "I want some results !!..." so i said who are you and what results are you talking about ? and also asked them who they were and who they wanted to talk and reminded them that is common courtesy to introduce themselves before barking orders down the line at me because they were too rude and presumptious to realise they had dialed the wrong number which i obviously pointed out to them but they were too rude and lazy and discourtious to apologise for.

I just dont know WTF is wrong with people sometimes.Politeness may be unfashionable elsewhere but its still in as far as i am concerned.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 August, 2009, 11:07:17 am
Astounding. I'm the least vegetarian person your likely to meet and much of my cooking starts off the same way.

Such has been the influence of Mediterranean cooking on British kitchens in the past 30 years. I think meat-eaters have a greater range of options for getting started, though.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 14 August, 2009, 11:25:18 am
...discovered and half-read a superb Alex Robinson GN (Tricked) newly shelved in the local Library last night (when I should have been working), but when I went to check it out I didn't have my library card with me. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 14 August, 2009, 02:09:15 pm
Astounding. I'm the least vegetarian person your likely to meet and much of my cooking starts off the same way.

Such has been the influence of Mediterranean cooking on British kitchens in the past 30 years. I think meat-eaters have a greater range of options for getting started, though.

Mine always starts the same way except i always fry onions etc in butter and i never add the olive oil until last if i am making italian sauces.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 14 August, 2009, 05:29:03 pm
Impediments involving slime, day #2.

Youngest son, having had the slime removed from his underpants, today decided to shove it down inside the radiator. Have you ever tried to get slime out of a radiator armed only with chopsticks? It's tricky.

Steev
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 August, 2009, 05:54:23 pm
I advertised a double bed on Freecycle to get rid of it. I let the first person have it who asked for it, on the understanding they would take it Friday night or some time on Saturday. They still haven't given us a definite time to collect, but since we agreed to give it to them we've had another 10 requests from people who could have taken it off our hands yesterday. I've still got it, it's taking up room on the landing and I'm having to work around it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Minkyboy on 14 August, 2009, 06:38:06 pm
Yeah Freecycle can be like that. Both on offering and collecting it is somewhat of a lottery.

I went to pick up some old lino the other week to put on the allotment to keep the weeds down. There was about a transit full of rotting, crumbly cack that disintegrated when you lifted it. Useless for anything but someone freecycled it to save the bother of having to move it to the dump themselves.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 August, 2009, 06:50:31 pm
 :D Couldn't even get rid of one cheap red wine velour 3-seater sofa on Freecycle, nor a three-piece suite of similar description. Eventually the neighbours took the 3-piece for their son's new flat, but nobody wanted the single sofa. We offered it to Track 2000, a recycling charity/business, but they wanted £10 to take it. Finally we phoned the council and put it out in the rain for the dustmen, under cover of as much sheet plastic as we could find.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 14 August, 2009, 07:14:45 pm
Wanted a scone but they all fell apart.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 14 August, 2009, 07:50:40 pm
I got a takeaway curry tonight but traffic meant it wasn't quite hot enough when I got home.

It was still nice, though.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 14 August, 2009, 08:12:42 pm
I was just having a rummage in the bins outside the charity shop down the road.Its usually full of books and other bric-a-brac and i get good stuff out of it sometimes.

Anyway as i was going through the bin this guy who i know well enough to say hello to in the street who is/was the chairman of the commitee who run the Royal Albert Hall walked past and gave me a look of complete disdain and didnt say hello just because i was leafing through books that were thrown away in a bin.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 14 August, 2009, 08:36:10 pm
If it isn't books out of bins it's pizza off the pavement, what are you like Peter ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 August, 2009, 08:43:33 pm
Someone else came for the bed by 8pm, so it's not all bad.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 14 August, 2009, 09:52:29 pm
:D Couldn't even get rid of one cheap red wine velour 3-seater sofa on Freecycle, nor a three-piece suite of similar description. Eventually the neighbours took the 3-piece for their son's new flat, but nobody wanted the single sofa. We offered it to Track 2000, a recycling charity/business, but they wanted £10 to take it. Finally we phoned the council and put it out in the rain for the dustmen, under cover of as much sheet plastic as we could find.
Reminds me of the chap who put out a fridge out with the sign "free to a good home". No response. Changes sign to "fridge for sale - £30 o.n.o." and it was stolen within a day.

I'm lucky to live in a neighbourhood where "community recycling" (ie put something out by the bins and it'll be lucky to last till bin day) is still common, despite increasing yuppification.

Oh and Pete - getting a funny look when spotted rummaging through the bins? - who'da thunk it?  ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 14 August, 2009, 09:56:01 pm
Freecycle is an excellent idea. All our Sophies baby clothes have gone to good homes via this.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 14 August, 2009, 10:23:50 pm
Truly a great idea.  Our forthcoming sprog is already equipped with cot and buggy thanks to Freecycle.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 August, 2009, 01:37:30 pm

Reminds me of the chap who put out a fridge out with the sign "free to a good home". No response. Changes sign to "fridge for sale - £30 o.n.o." and it was stolen within a day.

I'm lucky to live in a neighbourhood where "community recycling" (ie put something out by the bins and it'll be lucky to last till bin day) is still common, despite increasing yuppification.

Oh and Pete - getting a funny look when spotted rummaging through the bins? - who'da thunk it?  ;D


There is plenty of community recycling here and its easy to get rid of stuff that way.

As for the bins i was one of or the first to start going through the charity shop bins but now loads of others have started doing the same thing.Its like a lucky dip as you never know what you will find as its insane what this particular shop throws away.I have got loads of books out of this bin before.

I know what it must have looked like but i thought as i was looking through books then it wouldnt have looked so bad.

If it isn't books out of bins it's pizza off the pavement, what are you like Peter ;)

Dont say anything about leftovers or Kebabs

 ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 15 August, 2009, 09:50:40 pm
I suffered a painful under-thumbnail cut today.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 15 August, 2009, 10:10:23 pm
I suffered a painful under-thumbnail cut today.

MEDIC!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 15 August, 2009, 11:50:41 pm
Wanted a scone but they all fell apart.
That's not how it's pronounced.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 16 August, 2009, 03:06:00 pm
My laptop is on the fritz.  >:(

After the Windows XP loading page it glitches and reverts back to the manufacturer's logo; repeat ad infinitum. Grrr. Now I'm having to log on via a borrowed machine. Note this doesn't qualify for the 'life spugs because...' thread. It's a very minor thing.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 16 August, 2009, 08:22:22 pm
I've just pulled a splinter out of my finger nail, it went all the way down, bastard it hurt.








V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 17 August, 2009, 08:51:21 am
Just hiding a reference to Slaine here, in the hope of driving Tordel insane.

 ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 17 August, 2009, 08:59:51 am
Nice try, Trout, but you're too late.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 17 August, 2009, 09:01:09 am
You have to sleep sometime...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 17 August, 2009, 04:15:22 pm
Does any reference to Ukko count as well.





V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 17 August, 2009, 04:19:22 pm
Does any reference to Ukko count as well.





V

TordelBack will have to PM Thryllseekr and find out for us.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 17 August, 2009, 05:31:52 pm
Quote
Does any reference to Ukko count as well.

I'm not revealing the terms of our solemn compact.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 August, 2009, 01:34:31 am
I went back to a forum or a Yahoogroup thing called the Massimo Belardinelli Group which sadly never really got off the ground.I joined it but didnt participate in it very much and left and never went back because there was no activity.

Today i attempted to sign into it again to read what few posts there were and found out i have been banned from the group for no apparent reason as like i say i hardly posted anything and didnt participate.

 ???
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 18 August, 2009, 07:24:46 am
It was because you mentioned Slaine, a lot ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 18 August, 2009, 08:08:44 am
I went back to a forum or a Yahoogroup thing called the Massimo Belardinelli Group

Peterwolf; I'm a member of the same group. Although my account is still active there's been no significant activity there in over a year and the group's been abandoned by its creator.

You're not missing anything. Not even Slaine.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 18 August, 2009, 12:40:45 pm
I was on fire at five a side last night but managed to come crashing down and hurt my back which is spoiling an otherwise enjoyable 45th birthday.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 18 August, 2009, 01:35:27 pm
I was on fire at five a side last night but managed to come crashing down and hurt my back which is spoiling an otherwise enjoyable 45th birthday.

If being on fire is only a minor impediment, Tippy, I'd hate to run into you on a day that spugs.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 August, 2009, 05:05:21 pm
I went back to a forum or a Yahoogroup thing called the Massimo Belardinelli Group

Peterwolf; I'm a member of the same group. Although my account is still active there's been no significant activity there in over a year and the group's been abandoned by its creator.

You're not missing anything. Not even Slaine.

-Bouwel-

It was a shame that really.

I still dont get why i was banned though as i wasnt offensive to anyone on there as far as i can remember.

I dont know if it could be revived again or not.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 18 August, 2009, 05:54:34 pm
This is very near where I live...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/8207830.stm

I have just been informed I may not be allowed home tonight depending on what the chemical is.

Wait a minute this isnt minor its really shit, I'm in the wrong thread WAH!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 18 August, 2009, 06:10:44 pm
Oh, that's bad luck.

"Somebody had obviously put chemical waste or paint in the bin and when the bin lorry emptied it and crushed it it caused a chemical reaction.

"When I came down I saw fire engines, police, breathing apparatus and the bin lorry was smoking away."

Some people are so thoughtless!  >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 18 August, 2009, 06:34:55 pm
Just been told I can go home so in the end it was minor* and in the correct thread. Huzzah!


Unless I go home and all my neighbours are now zombies.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 19 August, 2009, 11:54:24 pm
Next doors car that is parked in one of the parking bays that is closest to my front door leaks oil which has accumulated into a patch of oil  that when exposed to strong sunlight stinks so when i sit on the front step it smells like a fuel dump.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 20 August, 2009, 03:15:33 pm
A four-section folding ladder slammed shut on my hand like a nutcracker, crushing it quite painfully. Good job it didn't shut on my fingers.
 ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 20 August, 2009, 03:28:41 pm
Whilst walking down one of the pedestrianised parts of Mega City Maidstone with my family earlier, I noticed a car following us. It even got as close to a couple of feet at times. I didn't give a toss, but twice people came up to me and said that a car was behind me, to which I replied, "This is a pedestrian zone and if all the idiots in the town want to move out the way, more fool them!"
I even stopped once just to see how close it would get and then it dropped back a bit after that.
 I only moved out the way when I came to an actual road ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 20 August, 2009, 03:49:38 pm
Is this the only post on this thread where the poster himself is the minor impediment?  :)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 20 August, 2009, 03:50:20 pm
Whilst walking down one of the pedestrianised parts of Mega City Maidstone with my family earlier, I noticed a car following us. It even got as close to a couple of feet at times. I didn't give a toss, but twice people came up to me and said that a car was behind me, to which I replied, "This is a pedestrian zone and if all the idiots in the town want to move out the way, more fool them!"
I even stopped once just to see how close it would get and then it dropped back a bit after that.
 I only moved out the way when I came to an actual road ;D

Good Stuff.

I would have done exactly the same.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 20 August, 2009, 05:52:05 pm
Just been told I can go home so in the end it was minor* and in the correct thread. Huzzah!

Unless I go home and all my neighbours are now zombies.
Well, were they? If so, I'd say that definitely belongs on the Drokking Fantastic thread.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 20 August, 2009, 06:01:36 pm
Just been told I can go home so in the end it was minor* and in the correct thread. Huzzah!

Unless I go home and all my neighbours are now zombies.
Well, were they? If so, I'd say that definitely belongs on the Drokking Fantastic thread.

Its a bit like The Burbs were I live so I didnae notice. :)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 20 August, 2009, 07:09:18 pm
Ha! Good for you, CF. The other day I crossed a pedestrian crossing and a car that was stopped on red started proceeding over the crossing behind me before the green man had even started flashing. She was trying to drive through a red light. I could see the red signal from where I was standing. So I stopped crossing and stepped back into the car's path to force the driver to stop and I gesticulated and mouthed words at her. When she put her brakes on I carried on crossing again. She was apologetic but still quite confused.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 20 August, 2009, 07:34:41 pm


Some stroppy woman in the charity shop today called me an "obnoxious Cunt".I wont go into the details of why she said this but it was mainly to do with her attitude problem.

Anyway i called her a Hypocrite and that wasnt a comment that was just directed at her behaviour.

 ;D ;D

She left the shop immediately after i said it .
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mikey on 21 August, 2009, 01:34:14 pm
I have been called many things in my life and indeed I have launched numerous epithets upon the deserving in return; but I have never been called, or called someone an "obnoxious Cunt". I can think of a few that it would suit - so thanks Peter!

You must have really got on her nerves for that!

On topic...while on fieldwork the other day,I was congratulating meself on my dry boots/gaiter combination just before I walked into a thigh deep river,invisible as it was covered in rank grasses. Wet feet for another 6 hours -  the water was squirting out the top of me boots into the gaiters!

M.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 21 August, 2009, 01:54:14 pm
On topic...while on fieldwork the other day,I was congratulating meself on my dry boots/gaiter combination just before I walked into a thigh deep river,invisible as it was covered in rank grasses. Wet feet for another 6 hours -  the water was squirting out the top of me boots into the gaiters!

I can relate to that. I once happened to be rowing out to this fort in Donegal through very rocky shallow waters.

(http://www.irishmegaliths.org.uk/zDoonFort.jpg)

Mere inches from the shore I thought it'd be a quick step into the shallows to anchor the boat.... I promptly disappeared up to my neck. Oh, how everyone else on board laughed... 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mikey on 21 August, 2009, 03:34:39 pm
Heh! The old lake shelf routine eh?

That fort looks amazing - whereabouts in D'gal is it?

M.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 21 August, 2009, 04:49:03 pm
That looks like somewhere Slaine would stay.... ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 21 August, 2009, 05:09:42 pm
He would indeed. Alas my namesake and ancestor, (not Fester obviously), met his end courtesy of an enemy smiting in this very place. It's near Ardara (on the coast about half way up).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 21 August, 2009, 07:45:54 pm
I cleared the church garden of another carrier bagful of litter today.

Filthy useless lazy trash just sit on the benches and eat their lunch and just drop their litter on the lawn even though there is a bin provided.They are given a green space to use for their own enjoyment yet they dont know how to treat it with respect.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 24 August, 2009, 04:15:27 pm
I've been on the brink of going to the post office for the last hour and a half.
The only thing stopping me is the sudden and mysterious disappearance of approximately five or six rolls of sticky tape and a pack of envelopes, all of which are generally in the way and cluttering up every drawer I look in when I don't need them... >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 05 September, 2009, 08:44:41 pm
Jobsworth shop assistants.  ::)

In B&Q looking at expensive lampshades (I need one for the landing, okay? and then I never need buy a replacement, ever, because it'll never wear out or go out of fashion). I notice the only stock item in one of the designs I'm looking at is broken. Knowing what I know about B&Q's disastrous inventory system, I know that if it doesn't sell they won't get in a replacement, and if I decide on that lampshade they'll never have a not broken one for me to buy.

So I take the item to a member of staff. They can write off the lampshade as damaged goods and send it back and a replacement will be ordered. "You need to take it to a member of the decorating section. I only work on kitchens. I can't give you a price on that." I tell her I don't want to buy it, I just want it removed from stock so they'll get a good one in in case I want to buy one of the same design. She refuses to deal with it - not her department. "Okay" I say, "I could spend my time looking for a member of staff from decorating. There's no-one there, and you're the first person I found. Alternatively I could just go and put it back on the shelf." She agrees that yes, I could indeed do that. Fine.

I still had it in my trolley when I got to the checkout and explained the situation. The checkout lad confirmed that another shade in the same design would not be ordered until that one is sold, and that the most they can take off the price of the damaged one is 20%. That's not actually true, but I wasn't going to haggle because I didn't want the bloody thing!

So there you have it: B&Q staff put damaged goods back on the shelf and lose sales because the shop doesn't do customer orders (that's so 1980s!), they don't routinely reduce damaged items for sale and remove them from stock to get new, unbroken goods in, and staff are not expected to be concerned about the profitability of the business as a whole, just the little corner of it they work in.

Maybe I'll try a lighting shop on the Internet instead.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 05 September, 2009, 10:00:41 pm
B&Q's shelf-stacking policies are mind-blowing.  Not once, ever, has anyone there been able to tell me if they're getting more of any given item in, and Usher's experience rather explains why.  

Example:  I was buying a small mountain of paving slabs last year, but they didn't have quite enough of the style I was looking at.  Would they be getting more in, I asked.  No idea.  Well is it possible to order some more, because I won't buy any of them unless I can get enough.  No idea, they just get what comes in.  Ah well, 'bye then, I'll just go to a builders' supplier instead.  Probably best.  
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 05 September, 2009, 11:11:17 pm
You know when you buy wallpaper, you want all the rolls to have come off the same batch so there's no difference in shade when you hang it? I reserved 20 rolls online, then went to the store to collect it. Customer reservations come from stock, they aren't ordered in specially. So they offered me 13 rolls from one batch, 4 from another, and 3 from a third batch. The next delivery would bring in however many rolls of yet another batch it took to make the stock number up to 30.

Needless to say, I wasn't paying £240 for a bunch of odds and sods.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: maryanddavid on 05 September, 2009, 11:39:02 pm
I rarley buy in the likes of B&Q or Woodies, most items are overpriced and as mentioned the staff generally (however helpful) dont know what they are talking about.
Better to to to locally owned merchants, most times they are cheaper,the staff know what they are selling, they generally have a wider and different range since its not centerally supplied.
 B&Q annoyed me this year, I was in the market for a ride on mower, checked the B&Q site, they had a good mower for around £1100.00, I went into the store to see about getting it, they wanted €22000.00 for the same mower, no one could tell me why  the difference in price between here in Mayo and in Belfast. Ended up getting a secondhand one, one year old, only 15 hours work for €800.00.

David
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 05 September, 2009, 11:57:10 pm
I was cleaning my ear with a cotton bud and there was blood on the bud.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: JOE SOAP on 06 September, 2009, 12:45:15 am
I was cleaning my ear with a cotton bud and there was blood on the bud.

that's cos your getting fucked in the (r)ear.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 06 September, 2009, 03:16:31 am
Is it wrong of me to point out that under no circumstances are you meant to use those cotton bud things to clean your ears?  

Her exact words were "never put anything sharper than your elbow in your ear"

I'm only saying it because an ex-girlfriend of mine was a medical student and she nearly lost her life one morning when she spotted me doing just that.  People have lost their hearing like that and it actually compacts the goo in there making regular syringing more and more necessary.  Drop a spot of olive oil in there regularly, it'll keep it soft and the corner of a flannel while in the shower should take care of any loose gunk.

I'd gone for a huge chunk of my life without knowing this, so I figure I ought to tell anyone I can.  Within reason obviously.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 06 September, 2009, 03:21:31 am
Yep that's true, but you can't resist a good old poke in the ear with one of those cotton buds. What's life without a bit of danger now and then!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 06 September, 2009, 03:53:07 am
True.

And nothing beats an ear-canal itch like the tip of your little finger.  Bliss.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SamuelAWilkinson on 06 September, 2009, 04:00:32 am
I was cleaning my ear with a cotton bud and there was blood on the bud.

Possibly a sign of an ear infection, and definitely something you want to check out with your GP. It may be nothing, but take it from one who knows, it's not worth potentially losing an ear's worth of hearing.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 06 September, 2009, 10:30:41 am
And nothing beats an ear-canal itch like the tip of your little finger.  Bliss.


This is what the caps of 'Bic' biro's are for...

-Bouwel-
(Also, I share your B&Q pain. They have no idea of what the stock is, does or is suitable for)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 06 September, 2009, 11:14:37 am
It is very ironic that in a recession hardly any retailers are able to get a proper hold on customer service, which can make all the difference between selling and not selling, instead employing staff who can't be bothered and are content to know nothing, or else salesmen, who aren't known for their commitment to customer service either.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 06 September, 2009, 11:33:21 am
To contrast with the B&Q standard of service I recently went to the jewelry quarter of Birmingham to pick up some previously ordered chemicals. As it turned out one of the boxes had been incorrectly labeled and didn't contain the item I wanted. These things happen of course but the service I recieved was amazing. The assistant telephoned another shop across the road to see if they had it. When they did they popped out and got it for me. While I was waiting I asked if they had any cut glass acid bottles (I needed three). When they looked they only had the one, but it was given to me for free as 'They'd already caused me enough trouble as it was'. Fantastic.

Also if you ever need any gold rings etc. that's the area to go to.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 06 September, 2009, 11:40:26 am
Quote
Better to to to locally owned merchants, most times they are cheaper,the staff know what they are selling, they generally have a wider and different range since its not centerally supplied.

All true, and I tend to use builder's providers whenever I can, and always for work, but for private use:

(a).  Generally not open at weekends or evenings.
(b).  Generally want to deliver at unspecified weekday times.

Makes it awkward for anything but large orders.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 06 September, 2009, 12:02:38 pm
I'm sure the advertising standards people could take action over that B&Q ad - you know the one - "I've been a builder for 20 years.....I used to run a landscape gardening business". Maybe these people all work in one utopian central branch, but every store in greater Manchester seems to be staffed by children, slackers and fuckwits.  And the healthiness of the plants in the garden bit is appalling.

And I don't think I could give up that so so satisfying cotton-bud scrape ... just gotta take care!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 06 September, 2009, 12:10:38 pm
There's a covert war of the cotton buds in my house. If I really, really feel the need I will give my ear canals a satisfying but careful poke, but it's best if the missus doesn't catch me doing it because then I get told off, and I can do without the grief.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 06 September, 2009, 09:19:14 pm
Planes, Trains and Automobiles is on. A fine film, no doubt, but I can't abide the synthtacular 80s soundtrack. I have the same problem with A Fish Called Wanda. It's also why Climate of Hunter by Scott Walker cannot seriously be considered a classic album in spite of the superior songwriting.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 06 September, 2009, 09:24:01 pm
Last time I had nothing better to do than watch Educating Rita, I found it almost unwatchable thanks to the awful, awful, synthesizer soundtrack.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 06 September, 2009, 10:34:47 pm
I found Scarface almost unwatchable for the same reason.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 06 September, 2009, 10:46:37 pm
I had fish and [oven] chips for dinner but there were less baked beans than I usually like and I didn't want to open a new tin so I had to eat the chips first in order to preserve some of the juice because I like to mop it up with bread after the plate is clear.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 06 September, 2009, 11:28:18 pm
So I settle down to watch an '80s movie I've never seen before.  It stars two of my top five favourite actors Bill Murray and John Candy, as well as Harold Ramis and lovely Sean Young, and it's directed by Ivan Reitman, of Ghostbusters fame.  Hell, there's even extensive gratuitous nudity.  Even the regrettable presence of Judge Reinhold shouldn't make this anything but a complete classic.

Unfortunately the film is Stripes and it's utterly and completely shite.  Even Bill Murray is terrible.  It's like a mash-up between Private Benjamin and Police Academy with all the jokes (and Goldie Hawn) taken out.  What a letdown!


Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 06 September, 2009, 11:45:11 pm
Surely not. I laughed like a drain when I watched Stripes.

Mind you, I was about 12.  Not worth a rewatch then?


(I am on the right film yeah?   Mud wrestling John Candy and sexual banter with an ice cream scoop?)

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 07 September, 2009, 12:00:07 am
Quote
Mud wrestling John Candy and sexual banter with an ice cream

I know, it should be great - John Candy in particular can make almost any movie work for me.  Maybe I just needed to see it for the first time when I was 12.  The copious lady gardens would certainly have impressed.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 07 September, 2009, 06:02:53 pm
I got red paint in my head. It looks like a seagull had its period on me.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 08 September, 2009, 08:12:13 am
So I settle down to watch an '80s movie I've never seen before.  It stars two of my top five favourite actors Bill Murray and John Candy, as well as Harold Ramis and lovely Sean Young, and it's directed by Ivan Reitman, of Ghostbusters fame.  Hell, there's even extensive gratuitous nudity.  Even the regrettable presence of Judge Reinhold shouldn't make this anything but a complete classic.

Unfortunately the film is Stripes and it's utterly and completely shite.  Even Bill Murray is terrible.  It's like a mash-up between Private Benjamin and Police Academy with all the jokes (and Goldie Hawn) taken out.  What a letdown!


Yep I rented this as its one of the few Bill Murray films I've not seen and I was so disappointed.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 09 September, 2009, 01:14:38 am
Turns out the video camera we ordered doesn't have a jack for an external mic - even though I assumed this was a standard feature on camcorders made since 1985 - so we'll have to send it back.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 09 September, 2009, 05:27:40 pm

 Someone round here somewhere very close to where i live is cultivating Skunk.I have been at home most of the day with the window open and i keep smelling wafts of it when the breeze blows through the window.Also i have been outside twice and i noticed the smell outside by the church.Sometimes its smells very strong and other times it barely noticable.

There it is again now as i type.

Its a bit irritating as personally i dislike skunk and never smoke it as its like brain - rot.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 09 September, 2009, 11:29:22 pm
Because my cat just vomitted on the top of the cooker.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 10 September, 2009, 12:05:18 am
Someone round here somewhere very close to where i live is cultivating Skunk.I have been at home most of the day with the window open and i keep smelling wafts of it when the breeze blows through the window.Also i have been outside twice and i noticed the smell outside by the church.Sometimes its smells very strong and other times it barely noticable.

Ugh. That stuff stinks. Vile. You know, I haven't had to smell that since I stopped taking the bus.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 10 September, 2009, 09:25:10 am
since I stopped taking the bus.

Cue one hundred eyes peering at this thread and, in their paranoia, wonder what 'the bus' is, and where they can get some.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 10 September, 2009, 04:50:38 pm
The real problem with 'the bus' is that you can start using it really cheaply as a kid, and then as the years go by they just keep jacking up the price.  Next thing you know, you're paying €30 for an unending nightmare on 'coach'.  And then there's the return 'trip' to look forward to.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Odd_Bloke on 10 September, 2009, 04:54:56 pm
The real problem with bus is that you can be using it really cheaply as a kid, and then as the years go by they just keep jacking up the price. 

I recently worked out that it's cheaper to buy a single from Canley to Coventry (3 minutes on the train) with PlusBus (a nation-wide scheme that allows you to use buses with your rail ticket for a small surcharge) using a Young Persons Railcard (£2.45) than it is to buy a Daysaver on the bus (£2.90).

Awesome.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 10 September, 2009, 05:06:27 pm
Someone round here somewhere very close to where i live is cultivating Skunk.I have been at home most of the day with the window open and i keep smelling wafts of it when the breeze blows through the window.Also i have been outside twice and i noticed the smell outside by the church.Sometimes its smells very strong and other times it barely noticable.

Ugh. That stuff stinks. Vile. You know, I haven't had to smell that since I stopped taking the bus.

I always smell it in the street as well and i am sick of the smell of it and i get sick and tired of the type of people who openly smoke it in the street.

I just hate the stuff .
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 10 September, 2009, 06:34:37 pm
It's practically cheaper to get a return ticket from Cardiff to Newport than it is to get a return ticket from Cardiff to another part of Cardiff.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 10 September, 2009, 07:25:09 pm
Ugh. That stuff stinks. Vile. You know, I haven't had to smell that since I stopped taking the bus.
I always smell it in the street as well and i am sick of the smell of it and i get sick and tired of the type of people who openly smoke it in the street.

I just hate the stuff .
With you 100%.  I really don't like the smell, but the audacity of scum using what we ought to remember are ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES IN THE STREET practically has me reaching for my Lawgiver mkIII and thumbing it to "incendiary".
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 11 September, 2009, 01:48:53 pm
Seems like the debt [140 quid] that i allegedly owe Paypal has come back to haunt me again.

I got rid of the last bunch of debt collectors who were attempting to recover the debt by calling them out and asking them by letter to provide evidence that the debt was mine which they failed to do because i never heard another thing about it.I used various other tactics as well because their methods of collecting the debt were illegal and unlawful.

Today i got another final demand from another different bunch of cowboys who trade as a privatised debt recovery agency whose practices and methods are again illegal and unlawful and contravene trading standards and even contravene govt guidelines.

This is what happens when an industry is more or less unregulated.

A pain in the arse and a waste of my time so now i have to go through the whole process again and write another letter that warns them of my intentions that i am disputing the debt and is requesting to see evidence of how the debt was incurred and how i am liable and points out to them how they should do their job as if i have nothing better to do.

If they fail to do this then they can Fuck Off and i will deny them implied right of entry onto the property.

On the plus side should this matter ever go to court then i have all this evidence of their malpractice that will help my case and most probably win it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 11 September, 2009, 06:52:19 pm
Fucking car dealerships again!  >:(

The service centre where I left my car this morning advertises a closing time of 7.00pm. I have had to leave my car with them three times now for the same problem because they keep getting faulty components delivered and fitting them without checking them. This third go is the one time nobody has phoned me to say the job is finished. On every previous occasion they've phoned as soon as they were done with it for me to come and collect it. I phoned them after 6pm to find out what's happening, and a salesman tells me everyone in the servicing department has gone home, the servicing department is only open until 7pm as advertised on the website for receiving vehicles for repair, not for returning the keys of repaired vehicles to their owners. They've all fucking well gone home, and despite the business still being open for another 45 minutes for sales, there's no-one there who's allowed to give me my key back or look at the service paperwork, so my car has got to stay there until 9am tomorrow! I remember telling the guy on the counter twice that I needed the car back tonight because I have a job to drive to first thing tomorrow morning.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 11 September, 2009, 07:27:36 pm
There were a bunch of children hanging around the chip shop and the doors were open. I had half a mind to pick up one of their bikes and launch it at one of them. I think the kid in the Chelsea shirt was the ringleader but the kid with long hair looked like too much of a fucking douchebag for him to go unpunished.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 11 September, 2009, 07:50:16 pm
Quote
There were a bunch of children hanging around the chip shop and the doors were open. I had half a mind to pick up one of their bikes and launch it at one of them. I think the kid in the Chelsea shirt was the ringleader but the kid with long hair looked like too much of a fucking douchebag for him to go unpunished.

Looks like Mary's offspring have spread beyond Ravensglade.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 11 September, 2009, 09:41:53 pm
When people leave their bikes lying IN THE DOORWAY of shops, I make a point of stepping with all my 13 stone on the wheel as I step over - oops!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 11 September, 2009, 09:50:42 pm
NICE.  Like that.  That's going on my habitually grumpy, world-improving behaviours that you can get away with by saying "whoops!"
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 12 September, 2009, 10:47:22 pm
Got in from work today and looking outside I noticed some scum nicking the lead flashing of a sloping roof on a house at the back of my garden. He didn't care at all that my wife was bringing in the washing.
I did the right thing and called the police, to their credit were round within five minutes, but by that time the git was gone.
Rather than being discreet they were straight round my house for a statement and were looking at said crime incident from my back yard whilst getting the information from me leaving all and sundry to see that it was us that did the right thing.
Still I hope that they get the bastard.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 12 September, 2009, 10:58:36 pm
NICE.  Like that.  That's going on my habitually grumpy, world-improving behaviours that you can get away with by saying "whoops!"

Actually he said "oops".

Lost my day bus ticket today.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 12 September, 2009, 11:02:40 pm
Yeah, the whole "be discreet" thing never seems to work with the cops.  

I once did a similar thing and they were blues and twos in the garden and knocking on the neighbours doors saying "Mr Gloady at 79 saw this crime, did you happen to see it?  Yes, MR GLOADY.  IN THE SHARED HOUSE WITH THE BLEACHED HAIR.  YES, THAT'S HIM OVER THERE *points*"

Not fun when you're 90% sure it was a kid you recognise from the other end of the road who did said crime and who you pass on your way to work/uni/your girlfriend's house/the gym/the pub you spend the next month waiting for a crowbar to slide down the back of your head taking your brain with it.  

Lesson here?  Don't call the cops, seemingly.  Can't bring myself to learn it though.  Scum need to learn how the world works [/Rorschach]

Good point Roger, apologies.  It's still on my list.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 12 September, 2009, 11:07:09 pm
I am quite ready for a rumble at the moment. I have a lot of pent up anger to be released and woe betide any little jumped up prick/s who try it on. I am only trying to defend my family and property guv.







V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 12 September, 2009, 11:12:30 pm
My foot hurts.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: johnnystress on 12 September, 2009, 11:54:30 pm
the tags or quotations ..or whatever they are on peoples posts ..are really annoying and difficult to distinguish from an actual post since the redesign..a minor annoyance

but worth a mention
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 13 September, 2009, 12:10:05 am
but worth a mention

Very true. The quoting system itself is mildly retarded -- there are plenty of forums (fora?) that manage to eliminate the whole 'nested quote' thing and only quote the last person in the quoted post, and a couple of them only quote the text that's highlighted when you hit "quote".

The current system makes misattributing a quotation horribly easy -- I've had to make a couple of grovelling apologies on this very board for that very reason.

Cheers!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 September, 2009, 02:04:33 am
Yeah, the whole "be discreet" thing never seems to work with the cops.

Years ago I called the police on a couple who were fighting on my garden wall at 2am. I monitored the situation from inside until the police arrived, rather than tackle scary people with just my pants on. When the police arrived their radio was so loud it woke my partner up, and I heard my name broadcast over it within earshot of the perp.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 September, 2009, 02:43:39 pm
I went into town to go to the food and drink festival which is a load of foodstalls in the street selling all kinds of different things that you can eat.There was some amazing stuff but FFS it was so crowded that i had to give up and leave as i cant stand crowds like that as it was claustrophobic.Shame as i never made it to the burger stall that was selling ground steak burgers.The smell of that was beautiful.

There was also what looked like an invasion of motorcyclists on the seafront as there looked to be about 10 million of them.Trying to get through them on a bike was a nightmare.

Got in from work today and looking outside I noticed some scum nicking the lead flashing of a sloping roof on a house at the back of my garden. He didn't care at all that my wife was bringing in the washing.
I did the right thing and called the police, to their credit were round within five minutes, but by that time the git was gone.
Rather than being discreet they were straight round my house for a statement and were looking at said crime incident from my back yard whilst getting the information from me leaving all and sundry to see that it was us that did the right thing.
Still I hope that they get the bastard.






V

I didnt think that there was very much scrap value in lead anymore unless demand for it from china has pushed prices up.

If the police do catch the lead thief you are talking about then the homeowner should make the little fucker pay for redoing the flashings.I would have gone over there myself if i caught someone doing that as after all what goes up has to come down again.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 14 September, 2009, 04:17:55 pm
Last year I worked out with BT that I needed to pay £7 per fortnight to cover all my telephonic costs. Which I did. Every fortnight, on the dot. Today I got a bill from BT for near fifty quid. Upon contacting my local BT representative, a thick-accented Indian gentleman with a sock in his mouth who seemed to be connected to the exchange by way of a tin can and a length of hairy string, it transpired that me offering to pay £10 per fortnight simply wasn't good enough. Bastiches.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 14 September, 2009, 05:54:54 pm
Forgot to mention that on Saturday I FOUND A BATH TOWEL IN THE TOILET.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 14 September, 2009, 06:00:41 pm
Oh dear.

Roger, that's awful.  You have my sympathies.  Ug!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 September, 2009, 06:50:51 pm
Forgot to mention that on Saturday I FOUND A BATH TOWEL IN THE TOILET.

As minor impediments go, that's pretty minor!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 14 September, 2009, 07:46:36 pm
I still have no Prog and I've got a feeling it's because they've fixed the door entry system on the close.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 16 September, 2009, 11:35:02 pm
Is it really necessary for the police helicopter to hover low over my house shaking my windows and blaring its strobe lights through my blinds every night?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 16 September, 2009, 11:35:46 pm
Depends what you're up to, I suppose.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 16 September, 2009, 11:36:47 pm
Is it really necessary for the police helicopter to hover low over my house shaking my windows and blaring its strobe lights through my blinds every night?

Should I not have rung the Police and fingered ye as a Fenian Bastard? Oops! My bad.

Sorry!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 16 September, 2009, 11:42:33 pm
Right about now I'd settle for the Owlship or PSU Spy-in-the-Sky cameras, hell even Blue Thunder perving on my naked yoga sessions, just something that doesn't wake the kids and freak out the dog!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: johnnystress on 17 September, 2009, 12:24:00 am
I used to say the same..until they got enough evidence and then, well it was a fair cop

housemate.not me :-\
I used to say the same..until they got enough evidence and then, well it was a fair cop

housemate.not me Undecided

also I now live beside a small airport, and now, the dog that put up with police raids, drunk punks, off their tits ravers, drunk scumbags..has now developed an issue with helicopters

bah

it's hard to live on the leafy 'burbs
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: johnnystress on 17 September, 2009, 12:27:28 am
double post..

EDIT

ah here

tech people please sort out this forum-thanks
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 17 September, 2009, 04:36:12 pm
For the last few weeks we've been working on a DVD for our biggest client. The company who were lined up to make the DVD itself (and who we usually use for stuff like this) have been brilliant - providing quotes and help along the way.

We came to place the order this morning, only to be told that due to 'unforseen circumstances' they could not meet our deadline. To be fair, this wasn't their fault and I was glad they were honest enough to tell me.

So, I hit Google and found somewhere else. Via email, they offered a great price but said they needed our master disc tomorrow (Fri) in order to hit our deadline. They also asked for a cheque for the full amount (several hundred pounds) which was to be made out to a different company name. No problem.

So, I went to the Post Office and asked for Special Delivery in order to send the DVD and cheque. However, the Post Office could not find the address of this company in their database. So I called them on my cell.

The landline wouldn't connect. I eventually got through to a mobile where a chap (who I'm sure was driving) reassured me that they could be found at the address they'd given me. So, I wasn't to worry - just send it...

The (wonderful) Post Office clerk though insisted the address didn't exist, and if I still wanted to send the disc, it would have to be via regular mail. She also inferred, but couldn't say officially, that she would advise against sending anything to a company who didn't exist on their system.

It was only then that the alarm bells started to ring, so I walked away without sending the disc and ripped up our cheque.

Now I don't know if this company is legit or not, but it's a lot of faith to put in an organisation whose address doesn't check out via what is I assume is the most authoritative source on the planet. I now need to look elsewhere of course.

Did I do the right thing? Or have I risked missing our deadline because I wouldn't trust the little guy whose company is being unfairly punished by a dodgy database?

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 17 September, 2009, 04:39:57 pm
From what you said it sounds entirely liek the right and wise thing to do!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 17 September, 2009, 04:51:13 pm
Quote
From what you said it sounds entirely liek the right and wise thing to do!

Yup.  Been stung this way before ourselves - hired (we thought) by a respectable mid-sized company, did the job but couldn't get paid and they stopped answering the phone, so I wrote a formally snotty letter to the registered MD who was on the phone 5 minutes after getting it.  No connection whatsoever with our 'clients', who just happened to be using an identical business name for an ostensibly identical business.  Still pursuing the €13K that cost us more than a year later.

Nowadays I check new clients/suppliers out in the Companies Office - don't know how it works in the Ooo-Kay, but they should have an online service, with instant access to registered address, directors and accounts summaries for a few quid.  At the very least you can check that the business addresses agree, and that they are registering annual accounts.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 17 September, 2009, 05:03:06 pm
Quote
From what you said it sounds entirely liek the right and wise thing to do!

Yup.  Been stung this way before ourselves - hired (we thought) by a respectable mid-sized company, did the job but couldn't get paid and they stopped answering the phone, so I wrote a formally snotty letter to the registered MD who was on the phone 5 minutes after getting it.  No connection whatsoever with our 'clients', who just happened to be using an identical business name for an ostensibly identical business.  Still pursuing the €13K that cost us more than a year later.

Nowadays I check new clients/suppliers out in the Companies Office - don't know how it works in the Ooo-Kay, but they should have an online service, with instant access to registered address, directors and accounts summaries for a few quid.  At the very least you can check that the business addresses agree, and that they are registering annual accounts.

Try Dun and Bradstreet:


http://209.85.229.132/search?q=cache:SR_a7hSXvkAJ:www.dnb.co.uk/+dunn+and+bradstreet&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk&client=firefox-a

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 17 September, 2009, 05:15:32 pm
Nowadays I check new clients/suppliers out in the Companies Office - don't know how it works in the Ooo-Kay, but they should have an online service, with instant access to registered address, directors and accounts summaries for a few quid.  At the very least you can check that the business addresses agree, and that they are registering annual accounts.
Companies House is what you want.

Search Here (http://wck2.companieshouse.gov.uk/4045f27071dd189474f7b9fdaf2ab36c/wcframe?name=accessCompanyInfo)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 17 September, 2009, 06:13:42 pm
Cheers fellas - will get it sorted in the end (I hope)...

:-)

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 17 September, 2009, 06:40:33 pm
For some reason Mrs Tips decided we needed a set of Chef's knives. (Never mind the fact that are geared to slicing meat and we are (mostly) vegetarian.)

So she decided to buy them off a bloke who was selling them out the back of a van at her work the other day.  Quite a few people in her work place also purchased them. 9 pieces - in a case - £30. 

"You're all doing us a big favour as we are just going into liquidation so we need to shift as much of this really high quality stock as possible for a knock down price." was his patter.

As soon as I looked at I though "Uh Oh". That looks like the Victorinox logo tacked onto a company named "Swiss Tech" pretending to be a quality product.

One internet search later and we can't turn up "Swiss Tech" (as expected but "Swiss-Tech" do make a very nice multi-tool apparently).

So it looks like she's paid £30 for some fake make knives.  Now the quality may not actually be that bad (after all, a lot of what you pay for is NAME and REPUTATION). But they do feel a little light and ting a bit when you bash them on the work surface.

She's so much more brilliant (and attractive and sexy) than me in absolutely every aspect of life that I'm amazed any sense of logic appears to have deserted her on this occassion.

Still £30 for knives may not be too bad - as long as they don't go blunt too quickly.


(I once applied for a job in Music Marketing that turned out to be flogging dodgy speakers from teh back of a van in and around central scotland.  I warned the target punters off every sale as soon as I was alone with them and reported the company to the police but nothing ever seemed to be done about it).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 17 September, 2009, 07:06:38 pm
I once applied for a job in Music Marketing that turned out to be flogging dodgy speakers from teh back of a van in and around central scotland.  I warned the target punters off every sale as soon as I was alone with them and reported the company to the police but nothing ever seemed to be done about it.

Christ I knew someone when I was a student in Sheffield who got sucked into this exact con! Either its a classic or these fella's were well travelled?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 17 September, 2009, 07:16:27 pm
So she decided to buy them off a bloke who was selling them out the back of a van at her work the other day.  Quite a few people in her work place also purchased them. 9 pieces - in a case - £30.  

I once bought a set of screwdrivers off one of those young guys with big holdalls and shiny suits in a pub, dozens of them in a plastic case with a handle, all for about three quid or so. The first time I tried to unscrew something I ended up with a yellow handled corkscrew. I swear they must have been made of aluminium.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 18 September, 2009, 12:38:22 am
This thread's getting too depressing. The bendy screwdrivers were funny though.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 September, 2009, 12:53:29 am
I remember the speakers that were being sold on the street out of the back of white vans.I cant remember the name of the make of them exactly but they were sold as "studio monitors" which made them sound like top end equipment and expensive but they were sold cheap.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 18 September, 2009, 09:13:49 am
I always have a great laugh when these traveling "salesmen" turn up on the business estate where I work. There's nothing like haggling an Irish gentleman (and I'm sorry, but virtually all of the guys we get doing this are Irish, bar the Italian guy who can't go home with his boot still full of leather jackets or his boss will feed him to the fishes) down from £300 for his brand new petrol mower, which he'll have to pay VAT on if he takes it back to Ireland, sob, and in the shops would cost you a grand, to £60! And then realising you've left your wallet at home. Doh.

We get them all, lawnmowers, power tools, cutlery, carpets, clothing, stereos, you name it. The best one so far is the guy who was selling mini quad bikes. We feigned interest and got him to start one up. He eventually managed this with some fantastic swearing and then shot off round the yard only to discover, no brakes! Oh no, calamity, he was so busy looking at the bars, trying to work out why he couldn't stop that he clipped the back of his own van and flipped the quad bike. After checking he wasn't seriously injured (and we were fairly sure he wasn't due to the amount of continued swearing) we all wandered off laughing heartily.

Always good sport.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: worldshown on 18 September, 2009, 11:59:51 am
Stories of dodgy salesmen always remind me of this incident.

Years ago when I was working in a pub in Cardiff, we had a temporary manager forced upon us (the previous manager having been discovered conkers deep in a barmaid and thrown out by his wife, thus invalidating their contract with the brewery).

This temporary manager used to allow one of his mates to come into the pub to flog suitcases full of dodgy watches, videos, perfumes and such.

One night, the manager bought one of these £5 "Lorex" watches and spent the rest of the evening singing its praises to anyone that would listen. "Just like the real thing. You can't tell them apart. Only a fiver. Bargain...". That sort of thing.

Next night, I came in to do my shift to find said manager reassembling the watch in the lounge whilst cursing out his mate under his breath.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 18 September, 2009, 12:16:53 pm
having been discovered conkers deep in a barmaid

Expressive use of language is one of my favourite things in life :)
Title: Re: Impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 September, 2009, 12:40:00 pm
This thread's getting too depressing. The bendy screwdrivers were funny though.
i liked them too. Dreadfully amusing. Because some insufferable invertebrate from a happy clappy church is visiting in the room next to my mum's in the hospice. He's got an acoustic 12 string guitar and he's here talking about, and i quote "my friend - and yours *wink* Our Lord Jesus Christ *winning, pension book siphoning smile, applause, choirs of angels*". He ahemed outside my mum's open door. She shot him a look that'd curdle milk. He ran. At least the Catholics have the decency to be po faced, mysterious and dour about it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 18 September, 2009, 02:24:36 pm
I was slightly perturbed to be handed a note about a church service - basically a recruiting thing - at Rose's nursery today. It's a local school, and she's been going for barely a month. It just seemed... wrong. I know it's the community and everything, but I don't think they should be recruiting people at a council-run school.

Why is this a minor impediment? I found it a slight inconvenience to have to put the note in the bin.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 September, 2009, 07:28:46 pm
That's vile, Trout. 

Of course I'm of the opinion that things like faith schools are the worst kind of insidious brain-washing of formative psyches so I probably WOULD agree with you there. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Matt Timson on 18 September, 2009, 11:27:15 pm
Being invited to a church service is vile?

I'm not big on the church- but it's hardly the crime of the century is it?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 18 September, 2009, 11:30:52 pm
Being invited to a church service is vile?

I'm not big on the church- but it's hardly the crime of the century is it?

Well my adopted son Damien kicks up a right fuss whenever I try and take him :)

Oh and I hurt my thumb slightly today while moving furniture.BAH!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 19 September, 2009, 01:55:17 am
Yeah, I think "vile" is going too far. It's only a minor impediment and a slight sense of unease.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 19 September, 2009, 04:18:14 pm
They say religion is like a big dog - if it's yours, it gives comfort and security; if it's someone else's it can be scary; and in either event it should be kept away from small children.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 19 September, 2009, 04:22:56 pm
I'm yet to have religion crap on the floor or hump my leg, but I see where you're going with the analogy.

Not a vast fan of religion myself.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 19 September, 2009, 06:39:25 pm
I like this analogy.  I like the bit where it gives me permission to castrate religion so it doesn't go around being aggressive and making little religions.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 19 September, 2009, 07:04:31 pm
They say religion is like a big dog - if it's yours, it gives comfort and security; if it's someone else's it can be scary; and in either event it should be kept away from small children.
A friend of mine says religion is a bit like a big winkle - fun to have but you'll get in trouble if you ram it down people's throats.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 20 September, 2009, 08:09:28 am
They say religion is like a big dog - if it's yours, it gives comfort and security; if it's someone else's it can be scary; and in either event it should be kept away from small children.
A friend of mine says religion is a bit like a big winkle - fun to have but you'll get in trouble if you ram it down people's throats.
Or force it on children until they are old enough to make their own minds up.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 20 September, 2009, 12:31:38 pm
On the subject of sky-god cults, I'm being made to feel like a bad parent because I absolutely refuse to get my kids baptised.

Now I could understand this if my family and friends were religious types, but with a few exceptions they really aren't (my mother, my chief persecutor, will only enter a church at gunpoint).  Instead the reasoning is that I'm restricting their choice of school, at a time when our education system is one drafty prefab away from implosion.  

A number of our friends and acquaintances with no religious convictions whatsoever have recently had their kids baptised specifically to get into a school.  Their reasoning:  'it's no big deal'.  One rather reasonable friend said:  "it'll give them something to rebel against".  

I just can't see myself standing in church proclaiming a faith I've long since lost, telling porky pies in front of my family and friends, to enter a child into this religion that would put up with such obvious cynicism on my part, all to get said child into the kind of school that would make such a grotesque process  a precondition.   And what are people to make of my marraige vows, if just a short while later I'm prepared to tell a heap of lies in not dissimilar circumstances?

My problem here is this:  am I being stupidly thickheaded about this, and putting my own beliefs (atheism) ahead of my kids' welfare, just like every nutter who won't let their children have transfusions?  I'm happy enough for my kids to find their own crackpot beliefs, but I just don't want to start them out under what I regard as a shadow of willful ignorance and hypocrisy.

By the way, I personally like churches and ceremonies, the art, architecture, music, history and atmosphere, a lot of Christians I know are the finest most generous folk, and I've seen first hand the good parish-based communities can do.  I just don't believe, and don't hold with indoctrination.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 20 September, 2009, 02:08:36 pm
I think that the indoctrination and politicising of children in schools is Vile.

This is going on a lot in schools in the US particularly but the schools dont teach the kids anything about the US constitution to the extent that only 28 percent even know what it is or anything about it.

This is just as harmful as indoctrination with religion in schools but in some ways is worse because it is without question a form of exploitation and morally reprehensible.

Children dont vote or pay taxes.

My school had prayers and sometimes hymns everyday in morning assembly and RE plus the odd outing to a church service and that type of thing.It didnt do any harm because i mostly ignored it and didnt say the prayers or sing the hymns either and even though it was C of E it wasnt a prerequisite to be baptised to be admitted into it.

As for others beliefs i make a point of not disrespecting their beliefs whatever that might be but i will say that i havent got very much time or patience for certain sections of the Atheist community and anyone knows anything about political history will know that Atheist political systems have led humanity to some very dark places and were/are just as evil as religious extremists.

I detest Satanism and Luciferianism and New Age BS which is perdominantly Luciferian based and i detest Gurus especially all that UN one world religion and all that Maitreya / Nesara/Share International BS.This is endorsed by the UN who promulgate it.

I also believe in religious freedom and i find it unacceptable that in this country and in the US Christians are being persecuted or having their freedom to express their religious beliefs curtailed.Unnacceptable.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 20 September, 2009, 11:22:22 pm
Tordelback: I went through similar with both my kids- and likewise had friends who, despite years of professed atheism, ran to church to get theirs signed up into the god club (sadly, no furry jesus badge with moving eyes was given to them afterwards). Both of mine remain unbaptised. Furthermore, I have pulled both of mine out of any kind of religious education- including "comparitive religion", on the grounds that it's all malevolent bollocks and comparing one against the other seems to me roughly the biggest waste of time it's possible for a child to spend. They're children fer fuckssakes! They believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy! They have very little ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality as it is- and these people want to further screw with their minds!

Mine got into the local school because we live two minutes down the road- which I realise is of no help if you don't similarly live near to yours. The school had a "fairly bad" reputation, but have benefitted from a phenomenal headteacher over the past few years, who has turned it around somewhat. I've found that the best way to get the most from the school is to get involved. I speak to the teachers and head on a regular basis and if I see standards slipping, I raise bloody hell until I get something done about it. LIke all schools it has problems, but it's getting there and both of my kids are doing well.

No matter what the school is, if you delve deep enough you'll see the problems that really matter (like late-reading and writing) are more to do with the National Curriculum and teaching methods, than the culture at the school itself. Phonics has a lot to answer for.

Good luck, anyway- and don't compromise!

SBT

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 21 September, 2009, 12:03:20 am
Phonics? How so? I've heard good things about it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 21 September, 2009, 12:18:57 am
While I have no kids of my own I'm becoming increasingly involved in my nephews life (my no fixed abode status leads me to spend a lot of time at my sisters home) and I have to say that I worry about his education a lot. Last year we had the problem of the teacher inventing her own way of writing letters so he didn't recognise them when he saw them written properly. Despite this he became an avid and enthusiastic reader. One hurdle overcome.

We are now 2 weeks into a new school year with a new teacher. She, despite being rather attractive in a middle aged milfy sort of way, is not exactly filling us with optimism.
On the first day at school he came home with a book 2 levels below what he had been reading last term. The next day his mum took him to school and asked about it, to be told that the class all had to start at the same level. Apparently she was qute snotty about it and insinuated that there was no way a child of his age would be at the level my sister was claiming. Why she couldn't just ask his old teacher I don't know. Anyway, my sister persevered and got his level raised so he brought home a more difficult book that evening.

He then proceeded to bring the same book every night for a week. Cue this wednesday. I'm picking him up and decide to check his bag. Sure enough, its the same book, so I call over his teacher. She apologises and explains that he hadn't asked for a new book. Now correct me if I'm being dumb but surely its up to teacheres to assign books, not wait for kids to ask for them, especially since the kids are all required to return a signed diary every day to say the've read and my sister has specifically noted in this diary that he needs a new book.

I finally get her to agree that he will definitely need a new one the next day. He still has the same one.

I may be being paranoid or cynical or both but in light of her comments at the start of all this I'm inclined to think that she is purposely holding him back until the others catch up. Which to my mind is all kinds of wrong. I've been to the library and picked up some books myself for him to practise on but I shudder to think how things are gonna progress in this school.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 21 September, 2009, 12:33:40 am
Phonics? How so? I've heard good things about it.

So had I- until my eldest, who knew his alphabet at 2 1/2 and could read fluently by the time he left Nursery, forgot the names of all the letters and could only refer to them as "ah", "ber", "ker", "der", "eh", "fer", "ger", etc, by halfway through Reception Year. He's six now, and in year two, and they still aren't teaching the children to read properly. If I hadn't basically dumped a small comic shop and library into his bedroom a few years ago, I doubt he'd even be past the Usbourne Reading Tree level one by now. I know very few of the others in his class are. He goes to the school's main library to pick his books, while the others get to choose from the selection of Julia Donaldson/ Alex Scheffler knock-offs that the classroom holds.

Amusingly, this sometimes causes trouble, as he often likes to read Goosebumps and other such books "not for his age". Cue earnest teacher telling me sheepishly that he "has chosen a book that you'll probably not want him to read"...

Basically, I could read perfectly well by the time I was five. I learned to read through comics and the Radio Times, and my school supported and expanded my reading. As a result, when I was six and a half (and 2000AD came along) I was more than capable of understanding most of it. So can my eldest- but the other children, who are reliant on Phonics, struggle to read the big words in 'Spidey and friends'.

Sadly, I feel this means that by the time they are fluent enough to read comics, the only titles on the market available to them will be either the ones that have a content several years below them, like 'In The Night Garden', or ones (like the prog) that are now a decade or so ahead. result- they don't read anything, because nothing interests them.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 21 September, 2009, 12:41:23 am
He then proceeded to bring the same book every night for a week. Cue this wednesday. I'm picking him up and decide to check his bag. Sure enough, its the same book, so I call over his teacher. She apologises and explains that he hadn't asked for a new book. Now correct me if I'm being dumb but surely its up to teacheres to assign books, not wait for kids to ask for them, especially since the kids are all required to return a signed diary every day to say the've read and my sister has specifically noted in this diary that he needs a new book.

And exactly the same happened to us. Exactly. And it resulted in me, after weeks of this, offering to give the school 500 or so books, if the problem was that they didn't have any. This went down well, as you can imagine- and I eventually had it out with the head. The situation was resolved, for a while, and he came home with a different book when he needed one.

However, now we have started a new year- and the problem has returned. I'm giving it another week, then making an appointment to see the head again. The thing is, to just... keep... pushing. Make them totally aware you are completely involved in the child's education and keep an active eye on his development. Whether because they are genuinely thrilled that someone is doing so, or because they are scared at being caught out, teachers seem to react to this quite positively.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 21 September, 2009, 12:55:40 am
The thing is, to just... keep... pushing. Make them totally aware you are completely involved in the child's education and keep an active eye on his development. Whether because they are genuinely thrilled that someone is doing so, or because they are scared at being caught out, teachers seem to react to this quite positively.

SBT

This is the plan. However, since my sister is taking the opportunity afforded by my jobless prescence to get a lot of overtime in I am the one encountering the teachers more often than not and as an Uncle I don't carry as much weight. She will of course give up shifts to get this sorted - I'm in no way impplying she's neglectiing his schooling - but it seems a shame that she has to lose earnings to sort something that I would have thought would be a simple thing.

And yes, phonics are a bloody nightmare. The thing is, ask him to say the alphabet and its A B C. But if you're teaching him the spelling of words and say ABC he doesn't understand. You have to tell him it in ah, ber, ker. If he already knows the alphabet, surely this gibberish is a step backwards.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 21 September, 2009, 12:58:28 am
I'm finding all of this fascinating. It confirms a lot of what I suspected already. Sorry to hear about the pressure that's being put on non-religious parents to get their kids into religious schools. It shows what a shambles state education is in that that kind of hypocrisy is now apparently considered normal. The fads in teaching children to read make me quite angry. They need both the names and the sounds of letters to do it properly. One of my nephews still didn't know the names of letters of the alphabet after starting secondary school. The theory behind phonics is sound enough - it's better than teaching whole word recognition, which gives kids no clue when they encounter a new word for the first time - but some teachers are incapable of applying theory except in the most basic by-the-numbers way. They're now so used to being told what to do by politicians and education advisors they just don't know how to think for themselves.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 21 September, 2009, 01:10:46 am
Away from my nephew, I'd be interested what people thought of my brothers situation a couple of years ago.  He was a problem kid, dabbled in drugs and alchohol and with the best will in the world he wasn't the brightest kid in the world to start with. He spent very little time at school and when he was there he was usually in trouble.

Come the time of his GCSE exams none of us held out much hope of him even sitting. He by this time had been sent to a seperate school for "problem children" and the curriculum wasn't exactly academically minded if you know what I mean. He was reading at a the level of a 6/7 year old and could barely count past 10 without taking his shoes off. (This is not a cruel joke on my part, but hard fact. It was a constant worry for me, if not my mother)

He sat the exams, with someone stood next to him to read the questions. I was, quite literaly flabbergasted. How can this kind of thing help anyone involved. How do they think he's gonna be able to do a GCSE exam, in any subject, if he can't even read the questions? The school said that they were oblligated to give him every opportunity any other person of his age would get. The whole thing stank of statistics and quotas to me.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 21 September, 2009, 11:01:39 am
I'd always suspected phonics was a bucket of old drivel, the experience of my nieces has only proved it. 

This crap isn't new though, my mum had taught me to read and my alphabet LONG before school started.  The teachers had a go at her because I was making the other children feel bad (making her life more difficult by forcing her to provide education tailored to kids who weren't just plopped in front of playschool all bloody day more like).  My mum naturally had a go right back and pointed out that the teacher's laziness shouldn't be her child's problem. 

As it turned out, it was.  I was promptly ignored for weeks. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Radbacker on 21 September, 2009, 11:23:47 am
on the baptism thing, Im agnostic (ex Catholic, then ex-athiest go figure) and dont have any kidy winks myself but isn;t it better to be safe than sorry i mean i was taught as a child that un baptised people no matter how good they are dont have any chance of getting into that exclusive cluvb they call heaven.  Part of my reason for calling bullshit on the whole thing was when i asked about still births (my eldest sister had just lost her first child I was about 12) I never got an answer it was all breushed away effectivly leaving a very traumatised 12 year old thinking his first nephew was going to hell.  Screw them

CU RAdbacker
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 21 September, 2009, 11:39:28 am
Quote
Quote
Part of my reason for calling bullshit on the whole thing was when i asked about still births (my eldest sister had just lost her first child I was about 12) I never got an answer it was all breushed away effectivly leaving a very traumatised 12 year old thinking his first nephew was going to hell.

While I know it's not official Catholic theology, and in fact Vatican 2, JP2 and Ratzinger/Benedict have all had a go at knocking (though not dismissing) the idea, it was common enough in Ireland to be taught that all unbaptised children went to Limbo rather than Heaven.  Forever.  This was coupled with the practice of excluding the unbaptised from consecrated burial, meaning generations of infants were buried in boundary ditches, and in old ringforts and barrows (perceived as liminal or sacred places, even if that sacral dimension was pagan in nature).  The most awful part of my job as an archaeologist over the years has been digging up these neonates and babies (not intentionally excavating them, but they are everywhere an archaeologist might care to work).  I can't ever get out of my mind the misery that the religious inflicted on their bereaved parents, the cruel idea that they would never be reunited with their children even in the eternity they anticipated after death, coupled with the idea of digging a lonely shallow grave in a ditch or mound, without comfort of priest or community.  It's a foulness that plays no small part in my dislike of religious teaching.  I'm also fairly sure that the Jesus of the gospels would kick the ass of whoever came up with that one.


Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 21 September, 2009, 11:48:27 am
I have a head cold.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 21 September, 2009, 01:39:12 pm
Thanks for the thoughts on phonics, all. Rose is only in the crazily-named "ante-pre-school" year but I'll remember, and keep an eye on things.

We're lucky to live where we do, with lots of great little village schools nearby. But it can't hurt to get involved.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 21 September, 2009, 02:54:40 pm
I'd always suspected phonics was a bucket of old drivel, the experience of my nieces has only proved it. 

This crap isn't new though, my mum had taught me to read and my alphabet LONG before school started.  The teachers had a go at her because I was making the other children feel bad (making her life more difficult by forcing her to provide education tailored to kids who weren't just plopped in front of playschool all bloody day more like).  My mum naturally had a go right back and pointed out that the teacher's laziness shouldn't be her child's problem. 

As it turned out, it was.  I was promptly ignored for weeks. 

Ha, I had the exact same problem when I started school Except for the mothers involvment. I taught myself to read from cat/mat type books and watching sesame street and the like. ZEE instead of ZED caught me out a few times but otherwise...
and when I started school I was in all sorts of trouble for daring to actually be able to read before I was supposed to. Got no support from my mother though who was always, when she showed an interest at all, very dismissive of anything learning related.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 21 September, 2009, 04:47:16 pm
That stinks, Fappers.  Truly. 

I wanted to smash in the rear windows of cars in the school car-park for years after that.  The smug window stickers that read "If you can read this - THANK A TEACHER" really piddled me off.  I'll thank a barmaid and a builder's foreman thanks.  They did more for me than any primary teacher.

Not hard to imagine kids failed by education in a more profound way turning "bad" and rebelling.  I learnt to hate school pretty early and pretty easily.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 21 September, 2009, 05:05:32 pm
I had all the trendy early 1970's ideas about learning. As seems to be the case with many on here I taught myself to read (one of my early memories is my mother letting me read a comic and then some books during the early 70's power cuts. She held the torch for me for what must have been ages until the battery died).

In secondary school I was bit more lucky. The books we read for the final two years were interesting to me (Romeo and Juliet, Brave New World). It was frustrating to work through Brave New World at a snails pace as I'd already read it in one weekend. We also got to see some rather good local productions of Romeo and Juliet as well as the Zaffrelli film (nudity, in school time no less!).

I would like to thank two of my teachers though; Mr. Whitley and Mr. Thomas. Two teachers of the very old school who taught me a great deal. The newly passed trendy teachers that taught me can all burn in the afterlife of their choice.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 21 September, 2009, 05:18:51 pm
Good work Bouwel, I concur.  The GOOD teachers I had were gold, more than making up for the more numerous BAD ones who were made of a substance far stickier and darker than gold.

Thanks Mr Mantio (for diagnosing the dyslexia) and Mr O'Brien for the support.  Oh, and Mr Francis from Middle School who got me interested in stuff under the mud before Indy had a chance to make that game look exciting (and Ms. Croft had a chance to make it look naughty).

Good teachers.  Hats off to 'em I say.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 21 September, 2009, 06:20:20 pm
Quote
I taught myself to read from cat/mat type books and watching sesame street and the like... and when I started school I was in all sorts of trouble for daring to actually be able to read before I was supposed to.

Very similar to my own experience, especially Sesame Street and that difficult 'zee', although I'd have to credit my parents too.  Anyway, I was reading (if not writing) fluently when I got to school, and was promptly bored shitless.  However, my situation took a turn for the worse when far from being insensitive, my rather liberal primary school decided on this basis to bump me up from the first Junior Infants class to Senior Infants after Christmas of my first year.  Naturally my parents agreed, no doubt all a-glow with pride.  I lost all my nascent friends overnight (although bizarrely two lads I met that first year are still two of my closest friends, whereas I don't have one single friend, or even acquaintance, from my 'second' class), and went from being a bored smartypants to the smallest most backward guy in the class overnight.   I was all of 4 years old in a class of 5 and 6 year olds.  It was crap, and folks do not do it to your own kids.


Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 21 September, 2009, 09:15:29 pm
Wow. Fascination abounds. Roman Catholic burial customs, bad schooling and Godpleton's head cold. Lots of stuff to mull over and absorb there.

I'm glad to say there was nothing discernably trendy about my schooling, which started in 1975. "Nip - the - dog - plays - with - the - ball. See - Nip - run." I went to school totally unable to read, but excitedly envious of my brother bringing books home from school. I wanted to be able to read the words in them too. I just about remember learning to read, and being able to express ideas orally far more lucidly than I could write them when I was 6. By the time I was 7 my writing was as good as my speaking, except that when I spoke my spelling was better.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 21 September, 2009, 10:40:36 pm
As a consequence of staying up until 5 am to finish an essay I spent most of my day off sleeping.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 September, 2009, 01:31:20 am
I got something on my t-shirt.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 22 September, 2009, 01:32:41 am
Sorry to hear about the t-shirt. What are you writing essays for these days?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 September, 2009, 01:35:50 am
It was the introductory module for the OU Social Science MA. I doubt that I'm going to continue.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 22 September, 2009, 03:28:44 am
It was the introductory module for the OU Social Science MA. I doubt that I'm going to continue.

Really? That bad? Rise above it. It should be a walk in the park for you. So long as it's worth whatever fees they're stinging you for.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 September, 2009, 10:17:55 am
I tried to post a confession on the Kingsmill Confessions website but it got moderated.  :(

http://www.kingsmillbread.com/campaigns/kingsmill-confessions/fridge
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 22 September, 2009, 11:14:30 pm
What if the only thing keeping Margaret Thatcher alive is the champagne I'm keeping on ice for when she snuffs it, working like some sort of magic talisman?

 :o
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 22 September, 2009, 11:26:31 pm
OH HoU, don't upset me by making me think there's some sort of TIE KEEPING HER HERE. 

Drink it now.  Just in case, eh?  For me?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 September, 2009, 11:30:43 pm
I drink a bottle of champagne every year to celebrate her glorious achievements.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 22 September, 2009, 11:39:59 pm
Quote
What if the only thing keeping Margaret Thatcher alive is the champagne I'm keeping on ice for when she snuffs it, working like some sort of magic talisman?

I reckon all that keeps her going is the fear that Elvis Costello will make a pile of royalties from airplay of Tramp the Dirt Down. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Odd_Bloke on 22 September, 2009, 11:40:52 pm
Given that I was only alive for the last two and a half years of Baroness Thatcher's prime ministership, I have no real opinion of her.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Buttonman on 22 September, 2009, 11:47:14 pm
I imagine Elvis Costello has done pretty well out of Thatcherism as have many of his sabre rattling pals.

Similar to millionaire Michael Moore who was on Jay leno's show decrying capitalism in support of his new film. Leno touched on the possibly hypocracy and Moore answered 'Oh we're putting on some free showings in depressed areas' - problem solved!

No problem in talented people doing well but I can't take them bitching about the people and systems who put them in their mansions.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 22 September, 2009, 11:56:51 pm
I imagine Elvis Costello has done pretty well out of Thatcherism as have many of his sabre rattling pals.

Similar to millionaire Michael Moore who was on Jay leno's show decrying capitalism in support of his new film. Leno touched on the possibly hypocracy and Moore answered 'Oh we're putting on some free showings in depressed areas' - problem solved!

No problem in talented people doing well but I can't take them bitching about the people and systems who put them in their mansions.

 Micheal Moore is just an extreme hypocrite and i am not even going to start on him.

 Multi-multi-multi-millionaire anti-capitalist hypocrite Liberal.

 As far as i am concerned the only thing he should do with his mouth when he opens it is to shove more pies into it.

 Its good that has an extreme obesity problem because it means that he will die sooner rather than later.

 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 23 September, 2009, 12:08:23 am
Damnit BM, you're right!  Far better political songwriters and filmmakers confine themselves to making cassettes in their garrets and live off the dole - how dare they achieve widespread recognition in the very milieux they decry!  As Christy Moore jokingly commented in a concert I was at in 1989, "Christ, I hope they don't listen to me and let the Birmingham Six out - that's half my act!".

And as for those doctors - they make a bloody good living off all this sickness they claim to be against.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 23 September, 2009, 12:11:56 am
I reckon all that keeps her going is the fear that Elvis Costello will make a pile of royalties from airplay of Tramp the Dirt Down.

Now THAT made me laugh.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Buttonman on 23 September, 2009, 12:22:25 am
Damnit BM, you're right!  Far better political songwriters and filmmakers confine themselves to making cassettes in their garrets and live off the dole - how dare they achieve widespread recognition in the very milieux they decry!  As Christy Moore jokingly commented in a concert I was at in 1989, "Christ, I hope they don't listen to me and let the Birmingham Six out - that's half my act!".

And as for those doctors - they make a bloody good living off all this sickness they claim to be against.

He could, I guess, donate all of his royalties to a workers cooperative and live off the average wage of a skilled worker? Naw, I'll take the pile of cash and the unfeasable moral high ground to boot. Can't have it both ways and not be a hypocrite. Bit like Bonio lecturing the Irish government on their foreign aid policy only to have it pointed out to him by the Prime Minister that he doesn't pay any taxes. What a tosser.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Odd_Bloke on 23 September, 2009, 12:31:34 am
Bit like Bonio lecturing the Irish government on their foreign aid policy only to have it pointed out to him by the Prime Minister that he doesn't pay any taxes. What a tosser.

Does his not paying taxes make his point any less valid?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 23 September, 2009, 12:32:50 am
I think you three should all make out.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 23 September, 2009, 12:33:56 am
Quote
Does his not paying taxes make his point any less valid?

If we're waiting for the non-hypocrites to appear and show us the way, we'll be waiting a while.  Best to get on with it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Odd_Bloke on 23 September, 2009, 12:35:14 am
I think you three should all make out.

Define 'you three'.   :-\
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 23 September, 2009, 12:38:21 am
I think you three should all make out.

Define 'you three'.   :-\

Don't define 'make out'.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Buttonman on 23 September, 2009, 12:38:48 am
Yes it does - if he's not contributing why should he have a say in its allocation? It's not even as if he's paying the going rate somewhere else what with his off shore corporations. How many stupid hats does he need?

No taxation without representation goes both ways, self rightious prick - him not you.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Odd_Bloke on 23 September, 2009, 12:43:35 am
I think you three should all make out.

Define 'you three'.   :-\

Don't define 'make out'.

Touché.


Wait, don't do that either.


Yes it does - if he's not contributing why should he have a say in its allocation? It's not even as if he's paying the going rate somewhere else what with his off shore corporations. How many stupid hats does he need?

No taxation without representation goes both ways, self rightious prick - him not you.

Well, 'no taxation without representation' normally refers to being taxed without having a representative in the legislature that sets the taxes.  He doesn't have a say in its allocation through the legislature, merely by the force of his argument.  And surely if his arguments are solid, it shouldn't matter whether he is Irish or not, let alone whether he pays Irish taxes or not, those arguments should be put to the Irish government.

On the other hand, I suppose you can be right and a tosser.  :P
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 23 September, 2009, 12:53:28 am
I haven't got a lot of time for Bono, me. Nor Sting. I've always been more interested in decent pop music than musicians' politics. My favourite Elvis Costello albums are This Year's Model (1978) and Armed Forces (1979) because he made great pop music then. I lost interest in him after I was nine. My mum still liked him though.


And my favourite Billy Bragg songs are 'New England' and 'Man in the Iron Mask', not 'Between the Wars'.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 23 September, 2009, 01:05:00 am
Quote
Armed Forces (1979)

A truly great album - permanently ensconced on my MP3 player, terrific driving music.  Never cottoned to Billy Bragg myself.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Buttonman on 23 September, 2009, 01:10:13 am
Billy Bragg you say?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6-JZH2R5GI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6-JZH2R5GI)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Matt Timson on 23 September, 2009, 05:00:39 pm
Given that I was only alive for the last two and a half years of Baroness Thatcher's prime ministership, I have no real opinion of her.

I'm sorry, but you're doing it wrong.  You do realise that this is the internet, don't you?  Baseless opinion stated as fact is where it's at...  8)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 23 September, 2009, 05:13:40 pm
I only managed to read 80 pages of Gaunts Ghosts at work last night instead of the planned 150. I suppose I'll read the end in bed tonight.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Matt Timson on 23 September, 2009, 05:27:36 pm
Thanks for the thoughts on phonics, all. Rose is only in the crazily-named "ante-pre-school" year but I'll remember, and keep an eye on things.

We're lucky to live where we do, with lots of great little village schools nearby. But it can't hurt to get involved.

- Trout

We took the decision not to not push reading and writing on Lottie before she started school as that's what school is for.  As somebody else has already mentioned, you run the risk of your child being bored out of their mind, with the end result being that they lose interest and actually go backwards.  Plus, you know, they're at school for a long time- so why not just let them play for as long as they can?

Lottie's just started in Reception (or the infants, as we used to call it) and is doing the phonics thing now.  She seems to be getting the hang of it so far and I'm really enjoying reading the books with her- but I'll let you know if we have any particular problems with it.  I think the main thing is that you have to be prepared, as a parent, to go the extra mile yourself.  The sad truth is that teachers are burdened with a lot of crap these days- and whereas you shouldn't have to step in and pick up their slack- that's exactly what you're going to have to do if you genuinely want to help your child.

As for teachers themselves- you get good and bad.  From my own point of view- and from personal experience- I think you're probably better off not getting in a teacher's face every five minutes unless it's absolutely necessary.  Do it too many times with a bad teacher and your child will probably suffer in the classroom as a result.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 23 September, 2009, 05:47:40 pm
I think you three should all make out.

Define 'you three'.   :-\

Don't define 'make out'.


Touché.


Wait, don't do that either.


Yes it does - if he's not contributing why should he have a say in its allocation? It's not even as if he's paying the going rate somewhere else what with his off shore corporations. How many stupid hats does he need?

No taxation without representation goes both ways, self rightious prick - him not you.

Well, 'no taxation without representation' normally refers to being taxed without having a representative in the legislature that sets the taxes.  He doesn't have a say in its allocation through the legislature, merely by the force of his argument.  And surely if his arguments are solid, it shouldn't matter whether he is Irish or not, let alone whether he pays Irish taxes or not, those arguments should be put to the Irish government.

On the other hand, I suppose you can be right and a tosser.  :P

We have taxation without representation here and in the US.We dont have a say in anything least of all where tax revenue is spent.Or rather we do have a say but it is usually ignored.


Taxation with representation is tyranny.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Matt Timson on 23 September, 2009, 05:50:23 pm
Damnit BM, you're right!  Far better political songwriters and filmmakers confine themselves to making cassettes in their garrets and live off the dole - how dare they achieve widespread recognition in the very milieux they decry!  As Christy Moore jokingly commented in a concert I was at in 1989, "Christ, I hope they don't listen to me and let the Birmingham Six out - that's half my act!".

And as for those doctors - they make a bloody good living off all this sickness they claim to be against.

I remember reading about Ben Elton refusing to send his kids to private school, opting instead to move house so that they would be in the catchment area for the schools that they wanted.  All very laudable- until you consider that doing so meant that somebody else, slightly further away from the school, would then be out of the same catchment area and in a worse school.

Nice one, Ben!

 ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 23 September, 2009, 07:09:52 pm
We took the decision not to not push reading and writing on Lottie before she started school as that's what school is for.
My parents took the attitude that I was asking to learn to read and they had both read before school, so why not.  Horses for courses Matt and I respect your view.

I will add one tiny thing though: if a child happens to be precocious/gifted/godlike/annoying/snotty/brattish enough to actually be able to read before school starts, a teacher should be on-the-ball enough to be able to keep an eye on kids of various levels of attainment or ability.  Giving little me a book a level above the other kids while they learnt to identify letters, words etc wouldn't have killed her.  As it turned out her lack of ability at her job very nearly turned me right off school for ever.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Matt Timson on 23 September, 2009, 08:51:01 pm
We took the decision not to not push reading and writing on Lottie before she started school as that's what school is for.
My parents took the attitude that I was asking to learn to read and they had both read before school, so why not.  Horses for courses Matt and I respect your view.

I will add one tiny thing though: if a child happens to be precocious/gifted/godlike/annoying/snotty/brattish enough to actually be able to read before school starts, a teacher should be on-the-ball enough to be able to keep an eye on kids of various levels of attainment or ability.  Giving little me a book a level above the other kids while they learnt to identify letters, words etc wouldn't have killed her.  As it turned out her lack of ability at her job very nearly turned me right off school for ever.

Yeah, fair enough.  I'm not really saying that you shouldn't teach your kids to read, just that we chose not to.  That said, we already knew from teachers and other friends that boredom can be a big problem for kids that are too far ahead when they first start school- otherwise, we probably would have taught Lottie.  We did teach her about numbers, but that seemed like less of a big deal.

And it sounds like you just had a bit of a duff teacher - which unfortunately does happen.  I remember there being two Mrs Griffiths at our school- one was really nice and the other obviously hated children.  They were known as 'Mrs Griffiths' and 'the nice Mrs Griffiths'.  Three guesses which one I got stuck with!

:D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 24 September, 2009, 12:33:52 am
They were known as 'Mrs Griffiths' and 'the nice Mrs Griffiths'.  Three guesses which one I got stuck with!

Reminds me of the two girls on my mate's art college foundation course who no-one else liked and hung around together as a pair. When one of them overheard someone refer to her friend as 'Thin Henna' she worked out what her own nickname was, and she went ape-shit.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: James Stacey on 24 September, 2009, 10:26:35 am
.. my smoke alarm has started beeping. A single beep every 2 mins. Probably needs a new battery but its a PITA to get too.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 24 September, 2009, 10:38:28 am
2GB is proving to be insufficient.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Matt Timson on 24 September, 2009, 11:10:01 am
They were known as 'Mrs Griffiths' and 'the nice Mrs Griffiths'.  Three guesses which one I got stuck with!

Reminds me of the two girls on my mate's art college foundation course who no-one else liked and hung around together as a pair. When one of them overheard someone refer to her friend as 'Thin Henna' she worked out what her own nickname was, and she went ape-shit.

Bah!  Who removed the laughing smiley?!?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 24 September, 2009, 02:20:28 pm
 :D :D

Have two more, they're cheep and make up for Nasty Mrs Griffiths.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 24 September, 2009, 03:02:35 pm
.
Quote
.. my smoke alarm has started beeping. A single beep every 2 mins. Probably needs a new battery but its a PITA to get too.


It's the battery alright.  For Grud's sake fix it now Mike, I've been in exactly one burning house too many, and it was only the fire alarm that (narrowly) prevented multiple deaths.  It's not a sight I'll ever forget.  If Bou were here she'd boot your arse up that ladder in jig time.  You don't want that waiting for you at the end of the Helltrek.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 24 September, 2009, 03:53:45 pm
Quote
Armed Forces (1979)

A truly great album - permanently ensconced on my MP3 player, terrific driving music.  Never cottoned to Billy Bragg myself.

I am not a big fan of Billy Bragg either but i do unhesitantly recommend an album called Dont Try This At Home.

It features a guitar ,bass,and drums line up rather than just Billy Bragg on his own.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 24 September, 2009, 04:21:10 pm
Don't Try This At Home's a great album.

Also: FIX THE DAMN ALARM NOW! It's only a battery. You wouldn't believe how many stories we run where people died in a fire and the smoke alarm didn't go off. It would break your heart.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 24 September, 2009, 04:32:08 pm
We're going to keep posting until you fix it.  Think of us as a helpful internet "beeping" service.

BEEP!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 24 September, 2009, 05:28:45 pm
Oops, I got the Nemeses mixed up, made a right warlocks of it.  It's James S that needs to get his bloody finger out.  BEEEEEEEP!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 25 September, 2009, 12:48:42 am
Don't Try This At Home's a great album.
When Billy toured that album me and my mate went to all three Scottish dates. Glasgow, Aberdeen and Edinburgh. At the age of 16 it was the most rock'n'roll thing I'd ever done.

"Ah've 'ad relay-shuns..
Wiv gurls from many nay-shuns!"
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 25 September, 2009, 01:04:46 pm
Despite having a GAMEBOY Advance and two DSs in the house, we've managed to end up with only one charger between the three of them.

So I used to keep it safe in a bedside cabinet so it wouldn't get lost.

And now someone has lost it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 25 September, 2009, 01:07:44 pm
No matter how funny you think it is, do not try this at home.

WIFE:  AND IT TURNS OUT THAT VALERIE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR.

TIPLODOCUS: (mugging furiously as if suddenly worried about something):  ER... THEY DIDN'T SAY WITH WHO DID THEY?

Well, I thought it would get a laugh...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 25 September, 2009, 01:10:50 pm
I'd have laughed... have you left the charger at Cam Kennedy's by any chance?  ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 26 September, 2009, 04:11:17 pm
While searching for a trailer for Surrogate on Youtube i noticed that the search function is inactive.

Get over this problem by searching from your channel page instead which works fine.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 26 September, 2009, 09:23:14 pm
"Ah've 'ad relay-shuns..
Wiv gurls from many nay-shuns!"

I've never forgiven Billy Bragg for that lyric because I... haven't.  :(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 26 September, 2009, 10:44:27 pm
"Sayfe secks dusn't meen naw secks / it juust meens youse yer imm-agin-ayy-shun!"
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 26 September, 2009, 10:45:50 pm
My left foot hurts from kicking small animals. I don't know why, prolly bad posture.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 26 September, 2009, 10:47:46 pm
Not sex then.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 26 September, 2009, 10:50:49 pm
Hot, stupid and gay STAR WARS sex.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 27 September, 2009, 09:22:59 pm
She-Wolf didn't get to number one.  :(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 27 September, 2009, 09:29:11 pm
I was up late the other night and I saw that video. WOW.  :o
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 27 September, 2009, 09:32:20 pm
Only heard about it today.

Not only is she named after a Twoth character (kinda) but she's also BARKING MAD.  Just like the strip she shares her name with.  I don't think her next album can afford NOT to feature a song where she bellows her name repeatedly throughout.

I like her.  She has the courage to be insane.  That's rare. 

Haven't seen the video, I'm not given to watching such things I'm afraid.  Should I break the habit of a lifetime?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 28 September, 2009, 08:51:51 am
Quote
Should I break the habit of a lifetime?

You should possibly consider it. It's very odd, and there aren't enough Teknosaurs, but it makes me wish I was 20 years younger, good looking, charming, rich and fluent in Spanish (mind you, I wish for all that most mornings).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 28 September, 2009, 09:37:38 am
Settle down with a nice cup of hot coffee and a biscuit while I show my age...

Dude, it was amazing! I was working late and sodding about on the laptop with the TV just, you know, on. There had been a documentary on with Dawn Porter naked again, and I wouldn't want to have missed that, and afterwards I couldn't be bothered to check the Radio Times so I left it on Channel 4 +1.

I didn't pay much attention to what was on in between, but eventually 4Music's Top 20 put in an appearance. I didn't even know there were still chart music shows after the demise of The Chart Show and Top of the Pops and Ready Steady Go! To start with I scoffed at all the cloth-eared identikit robot music - the gullible kids will swallow any old soulless, geneticially engineered, computer-generated synth-pop - but before long had it worked its spell on me! Some of it started to work on areas of the brain I didn't even know I had. Not the bits that process meaning, but the bits that presumably click to MDMA if one is so inclined to dabble, which I'm not - and I've no idea what I'm talking about! But no wonder the vacuous, empty-headed youth of today are getting so immersed in 21st century disposable consumerism and rejecting comprehension in favour of visceral experience. Why hear the music and process meaning when you can simply feel it instead? The advent of video meant the experience of listening to music became inextricably bound up with the visual imagery used in its marketing. It seems the next stage in pop's evolution is to leave both music and emotion behind and become a medium for experiencing physical sensation. It's like the 'feelies' in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, except the medium is audio not visual.

No doubt Marshall McCluhan wouldn't have been at all surprised at this development. His famous phrase 'the medium is the message' communicated a simple but startlingly original idea: that no medium is about its content, it's about the form in which the content is transmitted. Television isn't about EastEnders, it's about television.

Pop music has now discarded the media of the CD and the radio. It was never about music. It was always about thrusting hips. Now, finally, it has done away with the music altogether, and thrusting hips is both the medium and the message. And boy, do you ever feel it. Right in the back of your head. (Pssst! You're doing it wrong!)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 28 September, 2009, 10:08:07 am
Quote
Now, finally, it has done away with the music altogether, and thrusting hips is both the medium and the message.

The medium is the massage?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 28 September, 2009, 11:26:29 am
Haven't seen the video, I'm not given to watching such things I'm afraid.  Should I break the habit of a lifetime?

That depends if you like ladies' hips and have a plentiful supply of tissues.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 28 September, 2009, 11:30:34 am
Shakira is ace because of that song that goes: "For you, I would give up everything I own and flee to a Communist country."

And being an extremely sexy lady. She sometimes moves in a very unnerving way. Like a tiny robot disco-spider.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 28 September, 2009, 12:06:38 pm
I've just remembered the disarmingly frank explanation of washer-up Oleg in the sleeper hit and stupidly sabotaged BBC3 comedy 'Pulling', in the scene where he explains to Louise his preference for thumping hardcore on his headphones.

"I like music I can feel in my cock" - words to that effect.  :-\
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 28 September, 2009, 12:20:36 pm
I recall a conversation in a site hut where a very intelligent fellow was humming 'Hips Don't Lie' one tea-break, only to be rounded on by the ubiquitous self-appointed musical expert:

"For fecks sake man, what could you possibly like about Shakira?". 
"I'm not gay".
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 28 September, 2009, 03:04:20 pm
Shakira is ace because of that song that goes: "For you, I would give up everything I own and flee to a Communist country."



Thats dedication for you !

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 28 September, 2009, 03:26:01 pm
Shakira is ace because of that song that goes: "For you, I would give up everything I own and flee to a Communist country."



Thats dedication for you !



The very definition of horror to the vacuous, empty-headed youth of today, immersed as they are in 21st century disposable consumerism and rejecting comprehension in favour of visceral experience. The very definition of horror at least, that is, to the small section of said youth that has actually heard of communism. So lacking in imagination. They've probably never even heard of Letter to Brezhnev either, let alone seen in. I'll bet they've never fallen in love with a Russian sailor either.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 28 September, 2009, 04:14:19 pm
Quote
I'll bet they've never fallen in love with a Russian sailor either.

Not like Billy Bragg.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 28 September, 2009, 07:36:30 pm
Shakira is ace because of that song that goes: "For you, I would give up everything I own and flee to a Communist country."



Thats dedication for you !



The very definition of horror to the vacuous, empty-headed youth of today, immersed as they are in 21st century disposable consumerism and rejecting comprehension in favour of visceral experience. The very definition of horror at least, that is, to the small section of said youth that has actually heard of communism. So lacking in imagination. They've probably never even heard of Letter to Brezhnev either, let alone seen in. I'll bet they've never fallen in love with a Russian sailor either.


You would have to give up everything you own or spend it all before you fled to a Communmist country otherwise if you took everything with you the state would confiscate/steal it all off you anyway.

I would change the next verse of that song or add to it "I would do anything for you/love but i wont do that !"
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 29 September, 2009, 11:38:15 am
Why do clients constantly send logos embedded in Word documents - from where it's a pain to get the images out cleanly. Why do they think this step of putting a logo into a Word document is necessary and don't just send the images on their own?

AIEEEE!

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 29 September, 2009, 11:48:56 am
Why do clients constantly send logos embedded in Word documents - from where it's a pain to get the images out cleanly. Why do they think this step of putting a logo into a Word document is necessary and don't just send the images on their own?
AIEEEE! M@
I used to do a regular project where we would need print logos for the major media companies in the UK. Despite these organisations having design departments to deal with sending that sort of stuff out, so often our contacts would just drag the logos off their company homepage, stick them in PowerPoint, Word etc then be baffled when we would say we can't use them for repro.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: James Stacey on 29 September, 2009, 11:52:37 am
It's better than being given a business card and being told to work with the logo off that I guess. Been asked to build entire websites based on a business card.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 29 September, 2009, 11:56:12 am
Thank you for feeling my pain. Logos taken from home pages is pretty common. Worse than business cards are blocky, mono scanned letterheads they send.

When you then spend time recreating the logo as a decent vector (AI's live trace only gets you so far), the client asks if you can send them a copy as, wow, it looks so much better. When you tell them that if they want it, they'll be charged for the time, they strangely go quiet...

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 29 September, 2009, 12:10:52 pm
Yup. Had that recently. Put together an advert and just couldn't get a decent quality logo off client, despite the fact that someone somewhere drew it. So rather than produce a crappy advert I just ate crap and redrew the logo. Few weeks on, client asks me to email the logo and I ended up spending ages doing the cmyk, rgb, jpeg, size variations etc.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 29 September, 2009, 12:41:56 pm
Daughter's flat burgled.

And her and her boyfriend aren't insured because they forgot to take out cover when they cancelled a bank account that had previously provided it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 29 September, 2009, 01:34:33 pm
Ah, shit, Tips. Very sorry to hear that. But I suspect you have the wrong thread. Life spugs.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 29 September, 2009, 01:41:33 pm
Quote
Ah, shit, Tips. Very sorry to hear that. But I suspect you have the wrong thread. Life spugs.


S'right.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 29 September, 2009, 06:24:36 pm
Well they had a fair bit of stuff taken but nobody hurt, they weren't in flat at time so not as creepy as it might be and, after all, it is only just stuff they lost.


It still probably SPUGS for them but it's a minor impediment for me; I can see me having to buy a new laptop to help through final year of OT course etc.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Odd_Bloke on 29 September, 2009, 08:00:44 pm
I bruised my heel earlier, which is going to make the 20 minute walk home more than a little uncomfortable (and probably more than 20 minutes).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 29 September, 2009, 08:25:35 pm
Me and Sam just walked back home via the town centre. He wanted a cheeseburger from MacDonalds so we popped in. I asked for two and said don't bother with a bag as we'll take them in just the wrapper. The lass turned around, picked up two cheeseburgers and (yes you know what's coming next) placed them into a brown bag.

What is the FUCKING point >:( >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Odd_Bloke on 29 September, 2009, 08:26:48 pm
Me and Sam just walked back home via the town centre. He wanted a cheeseburger from MacDonalds so we popped in. I asked for two and said don't bother with a bag as we'll take them in just the wrapper. The lass turned around, picked up two cheeseburgers and (yes you know what's coming next) placed them into a brown bag.

What is the FUCKING point >:( >:(

If you don't completely disengage your brain when working in a place like McDonalds you go insane in fairly short order.   :P
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 29 September, 2009, 08:28:42 pm
But I said it so politely ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 29 September, 2009, 10:31:36 pm
There isn't a lot to think about in jobs like McDonalds - they deliberately remove that from the job description.  Hence folks minds are rarely entirely ON the job (because it's been deskilled to the point of meaningless) and stupid mistakes like that happen. 

Not the end of the world though, eh?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 29 September, 2009, 10:44:01 pm
Think of the environment :-\
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: mogzilla on 29 September, 2009, 10:47:31 pm
the press, we have been trying to get the HPV vaccinations up and running (the jade goody one) and today the news rambles on about a girl dying after having her hpv vaccinaion... cue, many phone calls and stressy staff.



still it takes the focus offa swine flu of which i have to have a "mask fitting" as a front line staff member and no i dont know what it about.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 29 September, 2009, 10:48:47 pm
Can't find Insurance documents for teh Green Dragon and it needs it's tax doing tomorrow.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 29 September, 2009, 10:51:28 pm
3 hours and 10 minutes into KINGDOM OF HEAVEN and I discover that the digibox hasn't taped the whole film. (Someone probably unplugged it).

I'd never seen it before and was quite enjoying it - directors cut with overture and intermission, Orlando bloom in typical understated (or is that wooden?) mode and some brief but spectacular action sequences.  Eva Green looking to die for and Michael Sheen being brilliant with a fantastic end. 

I take it he loses Jerusalem but what happens next...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 29 September, 2009, 10:52:40 pm
gAH!  My nice Arran malt is ever so slightly spoilt by the fact it's in a chipped glass. One of our nice crystal ones too.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 29 September, 2009, 11:06:06 pm
Actually KINGDOM OF HEAVEN - don't tell me the end but please tell me who was behind the mask of Baldwin the Leper king?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 29 September, 2009, 11:09:57 pm
I know, the environmental impact of unnecessary garbage is huge, but still - the impact on the workforce having their jobs de-skilled systematically in order to ensure they're not worth paying properly is the real deal.  That disempowers the staff and makes them less likely to be paying attention to either customer service OR considerations like the environment.  The firm is the enemy, not the poor sap behind the till or flipping the burger.

Or maybe, just maybe I've thought about this too much.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 29 September, 2009, 11:24:57 pm
Me and Sam just walked back home via the town centre. He wanted a cheeseburger from MacDonalds so we popped in. I asked for two and said don't bother with a bag as we'll take them in just the wrapper. The lass turned around, picked up two cheeseburgers and (yes you know what's coming next) placed them into a brown bag.

What is the FUCKING point >:( >:(
Tomorrow, go into MacDonalds. Ask for a regular Big Mac meal with Fanta. Now stand back and wait for them to ask whether you want to go large and what drink do you want with that. I've never worked in one, but I always assumed they just have the sequence of questions and button presses drilled into them at the start and told never to deviate or you might get something wrong.

Very annoying though.

That's a bit shit about Tips' daughter's flat.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 29 September, 2009, 11:38:20 pm
Yes it's true, Mike. There's always middle class high-consumers telling us to do our bit for the environment by refusing carrier bags and other bits of tat packaging while they peruse the travel brochures for environmentally sustainable low-impact tropical scuba-diving holidays.

My current job relies quite heavily upon teaching staff doing unpaid work in their own time. I currently teach a course with three empty student places and a waiting list of about 7 prospective students. We also have a salaried admin staff, on premises 12 hours a day (shift changeovers intervene, but there's always someone there), whose job isn't to contact waiting students and fit them onto courses with vacancies.

That's the job of the course tutor who is expected to phone those prospective students in the coffee breaks during classes or the turnaround portion between classes that's also for scheduled breaks, photocopying, tidying up, switching lessons, paperwork, pastoral business and going to the lavatory.

Consequently, new students get signed up to fill gaps only if time permits and the student happens to be in, or it's possible to leave a voice message, during the interval it's possible to make phonecalls. If this time can't be found or made, then one tries again the next day or the whole business has to wait another week. I don't really want to be phoning prospective students at home on my day off!

Fortunately I have a class tomorrow that involves 40 minutes of writing in silence. An opportunity presents itself at last, I think.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 30 September, 2009, 09:30:52 am
Quote
I've never worked in one, but I always assumed they just have the sequence of questions and button presses drilled into them at the start and told never to deviate or you might get something wrong.

I have, long ago and mercifully briefly, and that was precisely how it worked then at least. You literally had to stop thinking and just become a cog - I couldn't hack it, even though my front-of-house time was minimal.   

I subsequently took another high-turnover food-service job with considerable trepidation, but after a steep initiation process I absolutely loved it, did it for 5 years and wouldn't mind going back. Reason?  We were encouraged to interact with the customers and and our co-workers, and as a result the hours flew by.  And it paid nearly twice as much as MD's, I might add. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 30 September, 2009, 03:14:44 pm
In my experience, ordering food from fast 'food' joints is akin to ordering from a vending machine. The staff can be like robots who seem to expect you to order the same food and drinks as everyone else. Can't remember the last time I went to MacDonalds. I last went to KFC six years ago (out of desperation) and to Subway a few years ago. In both cases I tried to order without a fizzy drink and the staff virtually short-circuited. To think, there are weirdos out there who don't drink fizzy drinks.

In the last few years I pretty much gave my life savings to Pret A Manger. I really like their food, excellent coffee and staff are friendly (bit too friendly actually as one was hitting on me last year so I never went to that branch again). But it turns out that their grub is not as healthy as they make out, as some of it is jam packed with salt.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 30 September, 2009, 03:20:40 pm
Mmm... jam.

Anyway, today I spent half the morning shifting furniture around, in preparation for building my daughter's new bed.
I cleared out most of her bedroom, bringing her old bed (a cot bed) downstairs, ready for a new mattress and the new baby. Then I gave her room a good hoover, and lugged the giant flat-pack boxes of new bed bits upstairs.

But guess what? The new bed had a big gouge out of it, near where her head will be. It's bad enough to be a safety issue - it would scratch her - never mind the fact it's horribly ruined. So I had to repack the new bed, shift the boxes back downstairs, and bring the old bed back up.

Now my back's killing me and I'm knackered. I've achieved nothing for all my sweaty efforts. A replacement's coming on Saturday, so that's my weekend shafted.

Bah.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 30 September, 2009, 04:01:50 pm
In my experience, ordering food from fast 'food' joints is akin to ordering from a vending machine. The staff can be like robots who seem to expect you to order the same food and drinks as everyone else. Can't remember the last time I went to MacDonalds. I last went to KFC six years ago (out of desperation) and to Subway a few years ago. In both cases I tried to order without a fizzy drink and the staff virtually short-circuited. To think, there are weirdos out there who don't drink fizzy drinks.

In the last few years I pretty much gave my life savings to Pret A Manger. I really like their food, excellent coffee and staff are friendly (bit too friendly actually as one was hitting on me last year so I never went to that branch again). But it turns out that their grub is not as healthy as they make out, as some of it is jam packed with salt.


I have been going to BK lately but only because i have got a load of 2 for one vouchers plus the fact that they do Aberdeen Angus beef otherwise i wouldnt eat there.

I called in last week to get 2 double Angus burgers and when i got home they were both singles so half my dinner was missing.3 times i stressed that i was paying for doubles and not singles but they still get it wrong.

This was caused by a language barrier.I only talk English and dont see why i need to be fluent in half a dozen languages just to order a take out meal.They are in the UK so speak English.




I always have no bacon either and they always get that right.



I admit that this was a one off though and i have never had the problem with fizzy drinks in either BK or Subway.They usually just ask if i want any drink with it and i always say no thanks.The staff in BK are usually pretty good in my local BK joint.All their packaging is cardboard as well.No polystyrene

This "would you like fries with that ?" has always been a joke with Mcdonalds and you used to be able to buy a Tshirt with "If i want fries i will fucking ask for them !"
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 30 September, 2009, 04:17:18 pm
Quote
Now my back's killing me and I'm knackered. I've achieved nothing for all my sweaty efforts. A replacement's coming on Saturday, so that's my weekend shafted.

I feel your pain, yer Maj.  I've spent almost all my alleged free time moving stuff (i.e. comics, books, files and Star Wars crapola) around to create space for our recent arrival, who's currently in residence in our bedroom but won't be forever.  We are one room short, and unfortunately the child who's going to lose it out is me.

I put it in boxes, I stack it in neat piles, I squeeze it onto shelves, I take it out to the shed, I try to force it into the attic, I bring it all back where it came from and look at it again, but it never seems to do any good.  

I know the bible has something to say on the subject of putting away childish things, but it's frustratingly silent on where.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 30 September, 2009, 06:35:46 pm
I always have no bacon either and they always get that right.
The BASTARDS!  ;D

Tomorrow, go into MacDonalds. Ask for a regular Big Mac meal with Fanta. Now stand back and wait for them to ask whether you want to go large and what drink do you want with that.

True - try going into subway and asking for a Bacon, lettuce & tomato WITH NO CHEESE - they still ask you if you want cheese. There's a big difference between following a script they've been ordered to and just plain not listening. One deserves sympathy the other contempt.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bolt-01 on 01 October, 2009, 09:16:51 am
... the gas (I presume) in the lever that holds the boot hatch open on the not-so mighty Bolt-mobile has given up so the flipping thing is going to be dropping on my head all the time when I'm loading for the weekend.

... I've got a bitch of a cough/sore throat! Typical.

... Zarjaz has sold so well on pre-order that I don't think I've enough for the con and not enough time to get more done! First come first served!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 01 October, 2009, 12:05:23 pm
Someone has stolen the toothpaste.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 01 October, 2009, 01:26:34 pm
Tordel, I have similar problems, as the boy's arrival in about six weeks means we have officially run out of rooms.

I have various solutions in place, starting with clearing out much of the loft, so I can shift more stuff in there. It was all shit, anyway. My wife has agreed we can have some shelves in the living room, with graphic novels on. They'll be the nicer ones, with matching spines and all that. I'm quite looking forward to it.

Parents have no time for comics anyway.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 01 October, 2009, 01:47:46 pm
Quote
My wife has agreed we can have some shelves in the living room, with graphic novels on. They'll be the nicer ones, with matching spines and all that.

Detente has been achieved on this subject in my own castle, and the assembly of allegedly-acceptable IKEA Billy bookcases is ongoing.

 I've had to accept that my humongous SF/F novel collection is going to have to be decimated (they'll have to pry my LeGuins, Asimovs and McDevitts out of my cold dead hands, but maybe I can let my Hamiltons, Gibsons and Bears go), and have already moved most of my work-related books to my business premises, leaving only the prettier and more obscure.  My 2000ADs are non-negotiable, and most live in the attic anyway, but my '80s American comic mountain is coming out of the attic to make way for the rest, and will probably be heading to the charity shop.  Then begins the task of winnowing the Star Wars mountain, which I'm really not looking forward to.  

I will say that aside from the time involved (and the possibility of having  to lose some of  the Star Wars stuff), it's all well, well worth it - despite being up today since 1.45am with her squalling spider monkey alter ego, I can confirm that my daughter is worth a bonfire of geekphenalia such as the world has never seen, never mind dropping a box of X-Men and Tad Williams into Oxfam.

Don't believe me?  Click on!  http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=686369&l=e35dffeca3&id=1389214714
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 01 October, 2009, 01:48:30 pm
Thank you for feeling my pain. M@
Graphic Designer vs client
http://www.youtube.com/user/mentaldesigner#play/all/

Hope this helps to ease the pain, M@.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 01 October, 2009, 01:53:20 pm
my daughter is worth a bonfire of geekphenalia such as the world has never seen

Well said that man. That's just how I feel!

Fantastic pic, by the way! PM me with your real name and I'll provide access to cute kid pics and much geekery on Facebook!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 01 October, 2009, 02:16:40 pm
Detente has been achieved on this subject in my own castle, and the assembly of allegedly-acceptable IKEA Billy bookcases is ongoing.
I recently assembled Besta bookcases from IKEA. Pretty happy with them despite some assembly issues namely the back panel not fitting and me having to widen the groove for it to fit in.

I still have tons of comics elsewhere but I was recently reunited with these friends. While I can get away with it, they are proudly on display in my work room. Er, our second room.

Beautiful photo by the way, TordelBack.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 01 October, 2009, 02:18:28 pm
Quote from: SuperSurfer
Hope this helps to ease the pain, M@.

Heh, thanks for that. We're doing some free work at the moment, trying to get that "foot in the door" - much against my better judgment. Annoyingly, they're being more fussy than our biggest proper clients(!)

(Gonna have to start a Designer's Woes thread one of these days...)

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 01 October, 2009, 03:31:04 pm
I will add my tuppence if you do.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 01 October, 2009, 03:37:52 pm
Thank you for feeling my pain. M@
Graphic Designer vs client
http://www.youtube.com/user/mentaldesigner#play/all/

Hope this helps to ease the pain, M@.

I've saved this and renamed it as "Real life". Officially my favourite video now.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 01 October, 2009, 04:38:17 pm
Detente has been achieved on this subject in my own castle, and the assembly of allegedly-acceptable IKEA Billy bookcases is ongoing.
I recently assembled Besta bookcases from IKEA. Pretty happy with them despite some assembly issues namely the back panel not fitting and me having to widen the groove for it to fit in.

I still have tons of comics elsewhere but I was recently reunited with these friends. While I can get away with it, they are proudly on display in my work room. Er, our second room.

Beautiful photo by the way, TordelBack.

Arh my attic eves are full of Ikea shelving (and the comics that so naturally go with them). How I remember the pain of putting together even these simple things!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 02 October, 2009, 10:35:32 am
The demands of my teaching job have made me very tired and have adversely impacted on my performance in two interviews for much better paid jobs this week. Preparing for two job interviews this week has made me even more tired and adversely impacted on my alertness and the preparation time available for my teaching job. So rather than do one or the other exceptionally well, I've ended up doing both badly.

 ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 02 October, 2009, 10:51:29 am
Usher, you've encapsulated the demands of the academic perfectly.  Sorry they're weighing heavily on youl.  Hope you get a better job soon.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 02 October, 2009, 02:17:39 pm
I've been editing hard all day to meet a deadline for an important technical report, only to discover that the final section is almost entirely cut and pasted from two different uncredited internet sources, one of which was actually produced by the client to whom I'm supposed to be submitting this in 2 hours time.  Apparently the slight rewording that permitted this hybrid took my colleague (a former teacher) an entire week of work. 

The depressing bit is that the main reason I noticed this is that it was significantly better than anything else in the remainder of the report. 

Friday afternoon is no time for butt-kicking, but boy do I feel so inclined, as I sit down to rewrite 10 pages of plagarism. 

Why do people do it?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 02 October, 2009, 02:36:57 pm
Kick his arse and call him a wanker. There's no excuse for that sort of theft, laziness and unprofessionalism.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 02 October, 2009, 02:38:14 pm
There's no excuse for that sort of theft, laziness and unprofessionalism.

A career in tabloid journalism beckons ...

Cheers!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 02 October, 2009, 02:48:51 pm
An entire week of work to cut and paste and plagarise ?

Unbelievable really.

Tell the lazy twat to get his act together fast.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 02 October, 2009, 03:35:55 pm
Friday afternoon is no time for butt-kicking, but boy do I feel so inclined, as I sit down to rewrite 10 pages of plagarism.

Outrageous. They've been paid a week's wages for doing nothing, and tried to disguise the fact. At least in the past when I've done nothing it was plain for all to see. I'd never try to pass off someone else's work as my own. You'll have to wield the big stick on Monday morning.

Usher, you've encapsulated the demands of the academic perfectly.  Sorry they're weighing heavily on youl.  Hope you get a better job soon.

Thanks. The job I'm doing now isn't that bad. GCSE classes are a pleasure to teach. It's just one of those jobs that, by giving me plenty of work to do on my days off, gets in the way of pursuing other better remunerated opportunites.

The newsflash is although I got off to the worst start imaginable today, not being able to find the place in time, I still managed to give an interview performance that exceeded my expectations. I don't even mind if they offer me the job or not because at least I know I gave it my best shot and made a good impression in the end. Next week I can take my time over lesson preparation and just concentrate on the job I've already got, which is quite a relief!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 02 October, 2009, 03:52:41 pm
Lazy so-and-so needs to be made aware of 1. the utter stupidity of plagarism - you WILL be found out. 2. The massive increase in YOUR work-load as a result of his/her laziness and 3. the distinct possibility that he/she will be bounced like a tennis ball for that.  Does that count as gross misconduct I wonder?  Reckon it's close enough for jazz if it isn't.  Wield that big stick.  And stick it somewhere unpleasant.

*sound of lazy selfish scumbag sliding across pavement towards job centre*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 02 October, 2009, 04:14:32 pm
Laughs bitterly at Jim's use of the word "career".

There are no careers in journalism any more. It's dead.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 02 October, 2009, 04:34:25 pm
Careers are a funny thing these days. It seems there are fewer employers who want to pay somebody day-in, day-out to be there all the time. It seems more and more employers are promoting patterns of working that only commit them to paying by the job or by the hour. It's really not conducive to careers as we used to know them.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 02 October, 2009, 05:28:46 pm
Friday afternoon is no time for butt-kicking, but boy do I feel so inclined, as I sit down to rewrite 10 pages of plagarism.

That's grounds for a seriously frank exchange of views. Don't forget to wear your steel toe capped arse kicking boots TB.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 02 October, 2009, 06:00:35 pm
Gaah! Literally going out of the door to meet the missus and a mate down my local for a couple of Friday pints and my phone goes.

Just in case it's notification of lateness on the part of either of the above, I check. No. It's an e-mail. Amends to ten pages of the lettering job that has to be complete by Monday.

What with me being at BICS all day tomorrow and away from the desktop machine until I get home on Sunday afternoon, that's my Friday evening down the crapper.

Bah!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 02 October, 2009, 06:39:01 pm
What kind of humourless so and so sends that sort of request on a Friday evening?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 02 October, 2009, 06:43:39 pm
What kind of humourless so and so sends that sort of request on a Friday evening?

Unfortunately, the sort that's in a time zone where it's only quarter to two in the afternoon. :-(

Cheers!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 02 October, 2009, 07:06:41 pm
Quote
1. the utter stupidity of plagarism - you WILL be found out.

This is what mystifies me.  The person in question has completed a post-grad degree in the subject in question and has been a teacher so it's not like they're ignorant of the principle, and they know that I am an obsessively anal proof-reader.  It
 was a very nice job, but when there are fabulously polished phrases expertly summing up whole areas of knowledge it doesn't take a genius to notice that you're reading something by the authority on the subject, and not just a colleague working to a deadline.

Quote
2. The massive increase in YOUR work-load as a result of his/her laziness

Sadly, I've been really enjoying the work (Christ what's wrong with me!).  I spend so much of my time editing and arguing and mediating and playing with spreadsheets full of never-enough money that it's deeply pleasurable to just throw out a whole section, get my arse down the library and start from scratch.  It's buggering up my weekend no end but the client was okay about a postponement to Monday, and now that my kitchen table is groaning under the weight of library books and photocopies I'm as happy as the proverbial pig.  Mmmm, The Fiants of the Tudor Sovereigns, that's what I call a Friday night!


Quote
3. the distinct possibility that he/she will be bounced like a tennis ball for that.  Does that count as gross misconduct I wonder?

Well it's certainly gross silliness, in a situation where I'm daily fighting to keep people in work, and running a business out of my mortgage account!   When the current spell of work finishes in December there'll probably have to be some redundancies, and I certainly wouldn't advise sticking my head above the parapet like that. 

A stern talk will be had. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 02 October, 2009, 08:38:45 pm
Do you pay this git's wages? If so, photocopy a bunch of tenners and give him them instead. Seems appropriate.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 02 October, 2009, 09:07:18 pm
The person in question has completed a post-grad degree in the subject in question and has been a teacher so it's not like they're ignorant of the principle, and they know that I am an obsessively anal-proof reader.
Fixed.  No charge.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 03 October, 2009, 12:29:14 am
Girlfriend's laptop is on the fritz. The LCD screen has gone weird. It's only weeks old. Back to the shop tomorrow.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 03 October, 2009, 03:07:14 am
I hate taking stuff back to the shop.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 03 October, 2009, 02:13:00 pm
OK, so I mentioned winning a couple of free tickets for Mott The Hoople at the Hammersmith Apollo this coming Monday. Turns out everyone I know is either working or ill or just plain doesn't know how to rock.

I know I could probably flog the spare to a tout and make back some of my train fare, but I have a general dislike of those parasitic bastards and don't really want to fuel their greedy little industry.

Does anybody fancy laying claim to the second ticket?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 03 October, 2009, 02:31:06 pm
We've been checking our household finances. They're not good. Frivolous expenditure has been kept to a minimum, but we're still spending more than we're earning. My earnings are up on last year, but my partner's are down. My overdraft is stretched to its limit. And I don't get paid for September until the end of October, and so on for as long as I continue in my current employment.

 :-X
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 03 October, 2009, 03:29:30 pm
... When you've been at BICS for about two hours and you get a text telling you there's a family emergency and you need to drop everything and come home.

Apologies to -- well, everyone, really!

Bah!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 03 October, 2009, 03:40:32 pm
Quote
Frivolous expenditure has been kept to a minimum, but we're still spending more than we're earning.

An awful realisation, that.  Can feel like you're slipping backwards. Your situation sounds horribly like that of nearly all my academia-based friends, people who despite working like bastards earn so little that the government invariably owes them money at year's end.

Like you were saying earlier, in the absence of any real career structure (all over) what is usually presented as a life progression towards comfortable seniority has now become an endless series of snakes and ladders.  Looking at our own finances for September, our mortgage payments alone were twice our net income.  This is a short-mid-term thing, because the wife's on unpaid maternity leave, and I can't afford to pay myself until cashflow improves (which please grud it should by December), but it still means it's impossible to ever save or invest or whatever it is the cool kids do - you're just putting money away one month against the likelihood that there won't be any next month.  OTOH, the very variability of work circumstances means that change should be in your favour one day, as long as you keep plugging away. 

(hard to be pessimistic when i'm cuddling my daughter as i type!)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 03 October, 2009, 05:32:24 pm
Fucking cock.

This had bloody well better be something serious, I had thought to myself on the way back home.

Well, it wasn't. In fact it was all pretty much sorted by the time I got back to Nottingham.

"Oh, you didn't have to drop everything and come back ..."

Then why the fuck did you tell me to drop everything and come back? For fuck's sake! And did anyone want to compensate me for the £100 I'm not out of pocket? Strangely, no.

Gaah!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 03 October, 2009, 08:51:09 pm
Jim, sounds shite.  Sympathy on the whole nasty situation.  Take care.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 03 October, 2009, 09:40:51 pm
Jim, sounds shite.  Sympathy on the whole nasty situation.  Take care.

Thanks, Mike. It's just annoying more than anything else. Wolf. Cry. Not falling for that again. Fuckin' deal with it, or shut up!

Did get to say hello to Bolt, RAC, Watcher and Kevlev from this parish during my brief attendance, though. What a lovely collection of chaps!

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 04 October, 2009, 02:24:10 am
Would a free Mott The Hoople ticket help at all, Jim...?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 04 October, 2009, 02:06:51 pm
Would a free Mott The Hoople ticket help at all, Jim...?

Thank you -- genuinely -- for the thought, NB, but not my cup of tea ...

Cheers!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 04 October, 2009, 05:47:29 pm
Jim is clearly no longer a "young dude"
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 04 October, 2009, 06:27:09 pm
...unless he is, and that's why Mott the Hoople isn't his cup of tea! Most of the people I know who'd want to see Mott the Hoople are, er, old dudes.

 ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 04 October, 2009, 06:59:30 pm
I spilt some gin in my salsa dip.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 04 October, 2009, 07:00:04 pm
I turned 35 today, not sure if that's nearly-old or sort-of-young(ish-ISH).  

Bowie is very MUCH my thing.  Mott the Hoople?  No.  Weren't they going to break up and Bowie didn't like that idea so wrote that song and "gave" them a hit to keep his mates in the game?  

Proof that charity can be misguided sometimes....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 04 October, 2009, 07:01:00 pm
According to yesterday's Guardian, the lead singer of Mott the Hoople is 70!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 04 October, 2009, 07:04:33 pm
35 is sort of young-ish. Nobody under 40 is middle aged. And gin goes okay with salsa - in fact, I sometimes cook with gin when we have fajitas. You just don't want to go getting tonic water in it. Fajitas with gin goes back to the Christmas I got olive oil with junipers in it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 04 October, 2009, 07:12:44 pm
Most of the actual spilt quantity went on the carpet and it was "mixed" with bitter lemon so it made no difference to the taste of the salsa.

One of the tortilla chips I was using to scoop said salsa dip broke under the weight of the dip and it went on the carpet. This has somewhat impeded my enjoyment of Richard Dawkins on C4 RIGHT NOW.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 04 October, 2009, 07:18:40 pm
RIGHT NOW watching Richard Dawkins on Channel 4. Hadn't otherwise thought about turning the TV on all day.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 04 October, 2009, 07:24:57 pm
I'm a bit pissed off as I can't find my watch. I know it'll be in the last place I look, but I haven't looked there yet!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 04 October, 2009, 07:46:19 pm
Wife just took the piss out of me as she found my watch just now.
It was on the mantelpiece by the bed :-[ (it's an Edwardian house and they have fires in all the room, just in case you wondered what room we slept in)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 04 October, 2009, 08:35:52 pm
RIGHT NOW watching Richard Dawkins on Channel 4. Hadn't otherwise thought about turning the TV on all day.

The phone rang, so Richard Dawkins didn't last long. Kylie Minogue guesting in a Christmas special of Dr Who was easier to watch with the sound off, so Dawkins was out-competed. That's selection pressure for you.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 04 October, 2009, 08:45:42 pm
i borrowed case files 5 from the library, and someone has drawn cocks on the dark judges.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 04 October, 2009, 08:56:16 pm
i borrowed case files 5 from the library, and someone has drawn cocks on the dark judges.

That'll be Judge Anderson
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 04 October, 2009, 09:24:01 pm
i borrowed case files 5 from the library, and someone has drawn cocks on the dark judges.

I was going to borrow Akira Vol 1 from the library but didn't. I had some time to kill before an appointment Friday afternoon so decided to sit and read some of it in the library.  The first 10 pages of strip were missing and someone had written 'ha ha fucker' on the 11th. Even without the vulgarity there was no way it was an accident because the title pages were intact.

I handed it to the assistant and picked up something else to read. 20 mins later as I'm leaving I see the assistant putting it back on the shelf.

Now the vandal deserves to be strung up by the balls, no question, but I have to confess, I was chuntering more about her as I left.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 04 October, 2009, 11:31:50 pm
I'm 33, and whilst not exactly a Mott uber-fan, it's an excuse for another ill-fated episode of Matt's Big Rock n' Roll Adventure and the first competition I've won in about a decade. Also, I've been to fewer gigs than I'd like lately. In fact I've missed a lot that I'd have ordinarily have bitten your hand off for due to procrastination this year.

Besides, they'll probably not survive long enough to do another tour, so strike while the iron's hot and all that...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 04 October, 2009, 11:44:08 pm
I gots Fields of the Nephilim next month and Rammstein in February. I may go and see my mate Tom's band (http://www.myspace.com/thetastymorsels) when they support some bunch of old geezers calling themselves the Animals* in December ... not my natural choice in music, but what they do, they do well.

Cheers!

Jim

* Not quite sure how that works ... Chas Chandler and Eric Burdon are dead, and I'm pretty sure Alan Price won't be playing. I'm reminded of the story about the axe that beheaded Charles I, which was on display at the Tower of London. "We've only had to replace the handle three times and the head twice," one of the guards is reputed to have said.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 04 October, 2009, 11:59:51 pm
I was bored in a library the other day so I got a JD book and drew cocks on the dark judges.

My sons guinea pig Lenny died yesterday, he was a little upset, for about a minute, but has decided he wants a black one. The worst thing was when I was cleaning him out I had him on the dustpan, eyes open staring peacefully, and in a squeaky voice said hello to my missus and she just pissed herself laughing, sick or what.

As I have been typing this, we have my bro in laws son round for a sleepover (see life is drokking fantastic thread) and he has just puked all over the airbed and now he is in bed with the wife and I am stuck down here sleeping on the sofa, just cleaned up the puke, bastard.





V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 05 October, 2009, 12:38:14 pm
That Garage bill I thought was for £250 is actually TWO Garage bills totalling £500.

Fortunately I've just worked a shed load of overtime to pay for it but I was planning on spending some of the well-earned cash to start my Tooth Subscription again and buy House of The Dead Overkill. Guess that's off the cards then...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 05 October, 2009, 03:24:16 pm
I've spent most of my meagre income for ages on keeping me and my mum in food and other consumables.  Now she's died all the money that has been piling up in HER account that I'm due a half of, is now off-limits until the will is done.  And the funeral is going to be HUGELY expensive.  My brother's taking out a loan to cover it and I'll pay my half when I get the cash. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 05 October, 2009, 05:09:21 pm
Missed my train due to the taxi driver taking the scenic route in an attempt to screw a few extra shekels out of me. Virgin wanted an extra 65 quid for a seat on the next train (on top of the 28 I'd already paid). Fuck it. I'm back at home lamenting the loss of about 90 quid already paid out for train tickets and a hotel room. And the gig, obviously.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 05 October, 2009, 06:14:32 pm
Damn!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 05 October, 2009, 07:18:05 pm
Damn indeed. Still, I'm just about over my sulk now. The living room's now more or less tidy, I've got a pan of home-made chicken soup bubbling away on the hob and I'm preparing to spend a couple of hours wreaking my vengeance in Black & White, so it's not quite as bleak as I'd initially thought.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 05 October, 2009, 08:46:08 pm
Quote
And the funeral is going to be HUGELY expensive.  My brother's taking out a loan to cover it and I'll pay my half when I get the cash.

That's what you get for not listening to June Whitfield!  :-*

I don't envy you Mike (in so many ways).  I remember trying to organise my Uncle's funeral a few years back and being simply horrified by the cost, with similar problems of finance.  Is there no way of talking to the solicitor prior to sorting of the will about freeing advance money up?  You (as carer) are probably executor, so you should have some say.  INAL, and I don't know how things work in your jurisdiction, so you're probably should ignore the unsolicited (boom-boom) advice.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 05 October, 2009, 09:10:15 pm
I haven't had the heating on since March, and I took a radiator off while I was doing the decorating. The boiler is still heating water to the taps, but my central heating won't come on, even though I've turned up the barometric pressure.

Despite having taken payment for September, my window cleaner has twice come round asking for payment for August. I don't remember not paying the window cleaner in August, but the window cleaner has no record of our having paid either. Half of me thinks they should have been a bit quicker about chasing up overdue payments in August, and the other half thinks maybe I can't afford to have the windows cleaned any more. The windows at the back haven't been cleaned in 6 years and I can still see through them, so maybe  don't need the front windows cleaned either. And I do have a long ladder.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 05 October, 2009, 09:21:43 pm
Unsolicited.  Most amusing!

I think we'll be ok, ta TordelBack.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 05 October, 2009, 09:31:26 pm
I took a radiator off while I was doing the decorating.

I don't think my heating's going to come on again until I put that radiator back on. The flow pipe apparently terminates at the last radiator on the circuit, and that's where the return pipe starts from. I knew that. I had to try it out. That was easier than fiddling about putting the radiator back on only to have to take it off again when I do the wallpapering. Oh well. I'll put it back on after Two and a Half Men. Or just go to bed and leave it until the morning.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 05 October, 2009, 09:46:49 pm
Quote
I'll put it back on after Two and a Half Men.

No wonder you're battling the black dog, Ush!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 05 October, 2009, 09:51:24 pm
Ha! I'll have you know, Two and a Half Men offers just the right level of complexity I can cope with of an evening.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 06 October, 2009, 12:06:22 am
Does Chuck Lorre still do his vanity cards? I often found myself laughing at them more than the shows.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 06 October, 2009, 12:50:21 am
Just as I entered the chip shop the last piece of chicken was being served to another customer so I settled on cod as I didn't bring a book and I was not prepared to wait for chicken.

Admittedly this was my own fault as I went to the co-op first and spent ages trying to pick a desert. I settled on a coconut sponge which was on offer at 60 pence but it came up on the till as 96 pence as it is only the beginning of the current phase of offers. I still got it for 60 after I explained my case.

Also in the co-op I purchased a croissant from the reductions basket for 15 pence but it turned out to be an almond croissant. Had I chosen to heat it up once I arrived home I would have been gravely disappointed as the almond filling meant that the croissant considered as a single entity was most assuredly not conducive to having butter spread on it.

As I walked home, I observed that some thoughtless individual who had also opted to purchase reduced co-op bakery treats had dumped the plastic bag over somebody's [ultimately inadequate] fence and into their front garden, leaving a paragon of civic virtue such as myself to reach it over and pick it up for correct disposal.

I should also point out that my mood has been tainted with a somewhat melancholy disposition this week having watched the most recent episode of Element Hunters last night where a thoroughly likable character was apparently heartlessly murdered by her employers as a consequence of her inquisitive nature leading to her uncovering the unsavory aspects of the enterprise of fighting giant monsters created by the transferral of posi-elements into the Nega Earth which can only be perceived by pre-pubescent children.

I've got some pen on my jumper.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 06 October, 2009, 07:52:11 am
Quote
turned out to be an almond croissant

But almond croissant are the food of the gods! They form a most delicious and fulfilling closure to any meal I find.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 06 October, 2009, 08:41:08 am
Quote
turned out to be an almond croissant

But almond croissant are the food of the gods! They form a most delicious and fulfilling closure to any meal I find.

-Bouwel-

Hear hear! (Here here??) (Here hare here?) Almond croissants are indeed a positive luxury. And in the bargain section? That's life dealing you an ace, Roger!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 06 October, 2009, 09:18:38 am
Remember the nutbag psycho boarder who was hassling my wife with accusations about me? Well, tHeY'Re BacK...

And we don't give a toss. So, if you're reading this, nutbag psycho boarder... DELETE.  :D

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 06 October, 2009, 11:09:33 am
Two job interview rejections in one morning. Glad to have got it over with quickly. One more shot at getting my career back this autumn, or else resign myself to adding £3,000 p.a. to my debts for the rest of my days.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 06 October, 2009, 01:54:02 pm
Remember the nutbag psycho boarder who was hassling my wife with accusations about me? Well, tHeY'Re BacK...

And we don't give a toss. So, if you're reading this, nutbag psycho boarder... DELETE.  :D
Oh, eff them!

Steev and Hot Wife, I know what that's like and I sincerely hope this person disappears into a big pit full of crocodiles and lemon juice.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 06 October, 2009, 05:10:31 pm
KFC or Burger King this evening? Which to choose?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 06 October, 2009, 05:19:56 pm
KFC or Burger King this evening? Which to choose?
Home cooking, you can't beat it. Especially when someone else cooks it in your home!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 06 October, 2009, 05:47:43 pm
Burger King would be my choice.

They sell Aberdeen Angus beef which means you have some idea what you are eating and where it comes from.


Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 06 October, 2009, 06:18:39 pm
KFC or Burger King this evening? Which to choose?

Given a choice I'd go with BK as well.

I got so shit-faced on Saturday after watching Horsham F.C get resoundingly kicked in the arse, all over the pitch, all afternoon, that I actually tried to eat a McChicken sandwich. Decided to stick with the beer.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 06 October, 2009, 06:23:51 pm
Reading this, I'm amazed Devon's Daddy hasn't branched out into a Squaxx-specific home-delivery service, bringing actual food to the nerdy needy.   Oh wait, I forgot, he's busy choosing soft-furnishings for the maid's wing.  :-*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 06 October, 2009, 07:04:51 pm
I went to the chip shop instead. I got two pieces of chicken, chips and a can of Cherry Coke for £3.70.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 06 October, 2009, 07:11:06 pm
You got all that advice and you went to the chippie instead ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 06 October, 2009, 08:15:50 pm
KFC or Burger King this evening? Which to choose?
KFC every time. It's a well known fact that one of the Colonel's special herbs and spices is crack cocaine and meat gnawed from the bone as nature intended always tastes better (c.f. spare ribs.)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 06 October, 2009, 08:18:21 pm
I'll have you know that all my ribs are taken and I have none spare Cosh ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 06 October, 2009, 09:14:19 pm
Quote
I'll have you know that all my ribs are taken and I have none spare Cosh

Cannibalism already.  That's going to be some Helltrek.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 06 October, 2009, 09:25:37 pm
Back in the day when I suffered from the horrible vice known as SMOKING (yuk) I was once asked at a bus station if I had a "spare" cigarette.

"No.  I intend to smoke each and every one.  I'm an addict you see.  Should my addiction carry me off prematurely then I have decreed that there will be a pyramid built and my sarcophagus laid upon a bed of B&H silver, that I may smoke in the underworld"

How the bloke managed not to deck me still eludes me.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 06 October, 2009, 09:28:22 pm
That'll be an expensive funeral then, what are they £6 a pack or something!
I remember when I was a paperboy, the newsagents sold loosies to all the kids. Those were the days ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 06 October, 2009, 10:11:35 pm
I went to the chip shop instead. I got two pieces of chicken, chips and a can of Cherry Coke for £3.70.

I couldn't eat all that. When I go to the chip shop I come back with two portions of chips for myself and my lady non-wife. A big helping of deep-fried starch is enough of a lazy meal for me without adding protein into the equation. I do like it accompanied by a glass of Dr Pepper though, or a cider, or a Devon gin (cider + 1 gin + 1/2 cointreau).

My mum used to send me to the newsagent on an errand to buy cigarettes for her. How I used to hate that.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 06 October, 2009, 10:56:06 pm
My mum used to send me to the newsagent on an errand to buy cigarettes for her. How I used to hate that.

heh, me and the girl next door used to pretend my mum had sent us for fags, even thought she was a non smoker. We'd get 10 embassy No.6 and 'smoke' them in the fields behind our street. No inhaling though - we were only 10 and didn't understand that bit!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 06 October, 2009, 11:00:05 pm
I was sent on the fag run too.  Something that just wouldn't happen these days for all kinds of good and sensible reasons.  I'm sure the smell of my dad's pipe tobacco tins on the way home was a key motivator in my succumbing to the evil fags.  Can't quite think how I got the horrible smell of the stuff BURNING out of my head though. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 06 October, 2009, 11:08:17 pm
Today I learned that the SMART projection white boards in my classrooms are not going to be connected to the Internet, despite having Windows Explorer installed on the computer. Apparently because the cost of wiring in an Internet connection is too great.

So my students will just have to imagine the internet images, websites and Youtube clips mentioned in class, or look them up on their own computers when they get home. The only advantage to installing the expensive equipment, therefore, is saving on dry-wipe marker pens and not having to fiddle about setting up a projector.

 ::)

I am NOT doing this job next year even if I have to work in a supermarket instead. I'll go back on nights if I have to!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 07 October, 2009, 12:18:38 am
My mum used to send me to the newsagent on an errand to buy cigarettes for her. How I used to hate that.
It's my parents smoking that's made me such a virulent, proselytising non-smoker. It's not a new thing for me. By the age of ten, I'd refuse to buy my mum's fags. When sent to the shop for messages I'd get everything else I was asked to but invariably come back without the fags. How she used to hate that.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 07 October, 2009, 12:38:01 am
It's my parents smoking that's made me such a virulent, proselytising non-smoker.

Weird - neither of my parents ever smoked, but me and both my brothers did. After my primary-school experimenting (see above), I only started smoking properly at uni, and continued for 20 years. It's now three and a half years since I quit, and I don't  miss them at all.

....until we all started talking about them, now I could murder one!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 07 October, 2009, 12:44:30 am
My Mam smoked like a trooper (perhaps that's why she's had numerous strokes) and my Dad smoked occasionaly when I was young.
I remember sitting on the settee and my Mam sitting in the arm chair and watching as the smoke travelled across the room towards my young fit lungs. I have never smoked and never wanted to (if anything I'd just think of the monetary waste, even at that age).
I must admit I don't mind the smell of pipe smoke, weird or what!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 07 October, 2009, 12:50:49 am
When I was a kid in the seventies every single adult I knew, without exception, smoked. It was just normal. Like in Life on Mars, every indoor space that wasn't school (except the reaking, stale-fags-smelling staff room) which I knew as a child was filled with a choking fog of smoke. At my grandmother's house at the weekend there were often four adults in the same room puffing away.

Cigarettes held no mystique or allure for me and I never acquired the habit.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: worldshown on 07 October, 2009, 01:28:23 am
Interesting to see peoples experiences regarding smoking.

Both my parents smoked but never drank, which probably explains why I drink but don't smoke.

My mother even smoked whilst carrying my sister and myself. Both of us apparently kicked her until she stopped.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 07 October, 2009, 04:28:08 am
I've just been looking at some of the forum members stats and I can't believe that some of you don't even post in the wee hours. What's up with you, yes you know who you are, with your 01:00 to 07:00 I won't post on the site, as I'm in bed rubbish, come on this is a 24 hour forum you know!





Bollocks, I'm off to bed then ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 07 October, 2009, 08:43:55 am
The lad in WH Smiths who knows not to bother trying to flog me a special offer Galaxy or bag of Haribo seems to have disappeared so every morning I have to fix someone new with my Look of Withering Disdain (tm)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 07 October, 2009, 09:42:41 am
No one has voted in the Short Story Comp yet. Whasupwitdat?

http://2000adonline.com/forum/index.php/topic,26439.15/topicseen.html
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 07 October, 2009, 07:50:59 pm
As a 5 year old I used to get 20 B&H for my day. Oh how times have changed. His hacking and spluttering put me off ciggies for life. My dads final years would have been a great advert for a non smoking campain. He was once mistaken for my gran's husband. He was 55 at the time and she was about 75.











V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 08 October, 2009, 12:48:55 pm
I found out yesterday that my three year old nephew is really getting into art and his favourite character at the moment is Spiderman. So when sis asked me to draw him a picture for his wall, I thought 'No problem' (Passing the mantle down the generations and all that)

So, suitable heroic pose, webs a-slingin', proportions vaguely correct and now all I need is....

...Could I remember how his costume looked? Could I? Or even the chest emblem? Sure I knew there were varying degrees of blue and red but that was it. To my eternal shame, I had to google image search spiderman on my phone somewhat discreetly and then realised I'd got the eyes wrong too.

Well I was always going to submit work to DC anyway...  :-\
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 08 October, 2009, 01:40:21 pm
forgetting spidey?? "you have forgotten the face of your father!" :-/ sbt
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 08 October, 2009, 01:45:41 pm
 :-[

Bad, isn't it? Still If I can't share these things with anonymous folk in the ether, then who can I share it with?

And now I have Suzanne Vega stuck in my head again. Not exactly an impediment, but stuck, nonetheless.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 08 October, 2009, 02:04:13 pm
Quote
Could I remember how his costume looked? Could I? Or even the chest emblem? Sure I knew there were varying degrees of blue and red but that was it.

Wow, say what you like about Mephisto, but when makes a deal, he really follows through on his part.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 08 October, 2009, 05:27:40 pm

And now I have Suzanne Vega stuck in my head again. Not exactly an impediment, but stuck, nonetheless.

Nowt wrong with a bit of Vega I actually use a couple of her songs when I'm trying to dislodge an annoying song from my head.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 08 October, 2009, 06:04:02 pm
Lost my keys the other day. Retraced my steps in the pissing rain and rang work but no luck. Had to shelter in the pub (watching Emmerdale & Eastenders at full volume *shudder*)till my flatmate got home at 8 o'clock. I have a spare door key but it'll take a week to get a new electric fob for the front door, and so I'm just annoying each of my neighbours in turn by making them buzz me in.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 08 October, 2009, 06:53:18 pm
Lost my keys the other day. Retraced my steps in the pissing rain and rang work but no luck. Had to shelter in the pub (watching Emmerdale & Eastenders at full volume *shudder*)till my flatmate got home at 8 o'clock. I have a spare door key but it'll take a week to get a new electric fob for the front door, and so I'm just annoying each of my neighbours in turn by making them buzz me in.

Sounds like a nightmare.

I hate television in pubs.If a pub has a TV in it then i wont drink in it.Its always an indication of a shite drinking establishment.

What kind of emptyheads need to watch TV in a pub ?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 08 October, 2009, 06:55:58 pm
What kind of emptyheads need to watch TV in a pub ?

An alcoholic who can't afford a tv!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 08 October, 2009, 08:57:10 pm
What kind of emptyheads need to watch TV in a pub ?

An alcoholic who can't afford a tv!

An emptyheaded alcoholic who cant afford a TV !

I have the exact same policy with pubs that have bouncers on the door.You know a pub attracts shitheads if it has bouncers on the door.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 08 October, 2009, 09:20:25 pm
Nowt wrong with a bit of Vega I actually use a couple of her songs when I'm trying to dislodge an annoying song from my head.

What do you use when you want to dislodge Blood Makes Noise?  :D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 08 October, 2009, 11:16:06 pm
Nowt wrong with a bit of Vega I actually use a couple of her songs when I'm trying to dislodge an annoying song from my head.

What do you use when you want to dislodge Blood Makes Noise?  :D

ECT.


Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 09 October, 2009, 12:28:12 am
My bedroom is in the attic and I regularly have to contend with my sister leaving plates  on the banister for me to knock off as I come downstairs. She excelled herself tonight by leaving 2 di plates (one of which still had TWO THIRDS OF HER FUCKING DINNER WHICH SHE WAS TOO PICKY TO EAT ON IT) and a bowl. She dumped them on top of clean clothes as well.

Also I was going to buy some Led Zeppelin CDs from the HMV sale but my ridiculous buyer's remorse forbade me.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 09 October, 2009, 02:02:15 pm
What do you use when you want to dislodge Blood Makes Noise?  :D

ECT.

Oh, well played, Sir!  8)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 09 October, 2009, 05:09:14 pm
Also I was going to buy some Led Zeppelin CDs from the HMV sale but my ridiculous buyer's remorse forbade me.

You should already own them. Go back to your room.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 09 October, 2009, 06:12:48 pm
Friday is Fish & Chips day in our household. Now in the winter months it always seems to rain when I go to get them. Today was no exception. I got pissed wet through (bottom half only, Gortex is a wonderful thing) but still, the food was lovely.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 October, 2009, 12:19:10 am
Mother has been on the sherry.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 10 October, 2009, 01:16:05 am
 I am bored shitless with The Godfather on PS2.

 I think i will sell it because its just tedious and boring and its winding me up badly which defeats the object of something thats supposed to be enjoyable.

 I find that quite often gaming is a waste of time.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 10 October, 2009, 03:41:00 am
One of my neighbours is an old woman who is completely bonkers and totally unreasonable and because of this its impossible to deal with her and get her to contribute to the costs of cleaning down /patch plastering and repainting the walls in the outside yard where the car parking spaces are and repainting the iron gates.

I dont get on with her and no one else wants to deal with her either but luckily i hardly ever come into contact with her.

Theres always one...........
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 10 October, 2009, 10:41:29 am
Was busy playing Scribblenauts and burnt my tea.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 10 October, 2009, 11:36:56 am
Speeding fine. My first ever.  :-X

Motorway. Sliproad. Roadworks. Temporary speed restriction. Late at night. Totally empty road. (Your Honour).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: James Stacey on 10 October, 2009, 04:19:07 pm
Speeding fine. My first ever.  :-X

Motorway. Sliproad. Roadworks. Temporary speed restriction. Late at night. Totally empty road. (Your Honour).
Is that part of the glorious new M4 parking system?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 10 October, 2009, 06:02:05 pm
Is that part of the glorious new M4 parking system?

The very same. Every night I'm faced with a dilemma of how to return to Cardiff from Newport. If I finish work at 9pm, I take the M4 as my most direct route home. Any day I leave work at 5.30pm I know there's no point venturing onto the M4 as it'll be standstill at some point. In fact the traffic's so bad, even going into Cardiff via Newport Road, that there's not much point leaving at 5.30pm anyway, so I generally stick around until nearer 7pm and deal with admin and photocopying in advance for the week ahead.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 11 October, 2009, 09:56:18 pm
Tonight, just as me and the good lady were about to sit down and watch some recorded stuff I managed to walk into the front room with about 3/4 of a pint of pop and proceed to throw it all over the floor. Thank God we have tiled floors.
Amazingly my wife saw the funny side of it all as I just couldn't believe what I'd just done.

I love my wife :-*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 11 October, 2009, 10:21:47 pm
A dodgy aggressive looking geezer just tried to stare me out in the shop but he looked away after only 3 seconds.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 11 October, 2009, 10:29:04 pm
A dodgy aggressive looking geezer just tried to stare me out in the shop but he looked away after only 3 seconds.
Peter "Laser Gaze" Wolf!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 11 October, 2009, 10:31:17 pm
3 seconds Pete, he'll never win one of those staring contests in Mega City 1 ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 October, 2009, 12:47:39 am
I didnt particularly enjoy that visit to the shop as there were quite a few dodgy types and weirdos hanging around.

I usually ignore or blank them because i have no interest in people who are out to prove something.I just find it boring and its not usually a problem.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 12 October, 2009, 12:54:41 am
What type of shop is this Pete?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 October, 2009, 01:37:34 am
Co-Op.Nothing exciting really.

There was a bunch of dodgy looking East Europeans riding around on bikes with no lights  .They were also rifling through bags of donations left in the doorway of the charity shop across the road.

The guy who was staring in the shop had this odd walk that was like what you call the A Wing Shuffle which is like a swagger.He also had these kind of dead looking eyes or dead expression.I just didnt like his look and he just got my back up instantly.I have seen these types lots of times before as well so its nothing new and i dont really know why i commented on it .
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 12 October, 2009, 08:51:58 pm
Pete, he probably had some mental issues, you never know.







V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 13 October, 2009, 08:06:43 pm
Popped into a remaindered bookshop today and found SHITLOADS of Rebellion/ DC 2000AD collections for £2.99 to £4.99. Had a little panic attack, as one does, and worked out I could only afford three of them. Spent twenty minutes umming and arring and generally being rubbish, then went for Fiends Of The Eastern Front hardback, Carver Hale hardback and Durham Red: The Vermin Stars.

However, on return to my module, I was dissappointed to find that I already had the Durham Red volume in an earlier, bigger printing that has flaps,and it was volume one that I needed.

I now have an extra Vermin Stars, should anyone wish to swop.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 October, 2009, 10:05:36 pm
Pete, he probably had some mental issues, you never know.







V

I wouldnt be at all surprised .
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 13 October, 2009, 10:30:27 pm
Durham Red's flaps. Heh heh heh.

I believe this is an excellent use of my 9,992nd post, as I count down to vanishing at 10,000.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 13 October, 2009, 11:33:35 pm
Popped into a remaindered bookshop today and found SHITLOADS of Rebellion/ DC 2000AD collections for £2.99 to £4.99. Had a little panic attack, as one does, and worked out I could only afford three of them. Spent twenty minutes umming and arring and generally being rubbish, then went for Fiends Of The Eastern Front hardback, Carver Hale hardback and Durham Red: The Vermin Stars.

However, on return to my module, I was dissappointed to find that I already had the Durham Red volume in an earlier, bigger printing that has flaps,and it was volume one that I needed.

I now have an extra Vermin Stars, should anyone wish to swop.
I did something similar (except with drunken amnesiac online clicking) and now have two copies of Robohunter: Verdus I'd swap unless you've already got / don't want that.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 14 October, 2009, 12:41:50 am
I was on my way to the cinema earlier tonight, walking down a poorly lit street, with headphones in and in another world completely. All of a sudden a young chap with a hood over head, came running out of an adjacent field and jumped over the wall. I first took note of him as he jumped out straight in front of me, this not only made me jump back, but it also scared the living shite out of me. While I'm not normally one for judging people by stereotypes, when i did look at him and turned off my music off, I expected him to demand my cash and whatever else was in my pockets. But instead he just laughed, apologised and shook my hand, then continued running on up the street. Well I guess that showed me.

Ah well! Its nearly Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Devons Daddy on 14 October, 2009, 07:05:31 am
MARCOM
the dept from hell.
have decided my intentions for the New year countdown are not enkeeping with image of a marina club.
we should not in their consideratoin be throwing a party.with a band, DJ dancing and enjoyment for all, but should consider a gentle affair with a jazz singer :-\.

its new years for goodness sake.
 ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 October, 2009, 07:27:03 am
They're twatbags! I bet the party you'd like to throw would be talked about for years and would guarantee repeat custom every December 31st.

As if the kind of people who can afford to order up lobster and champagne delivered to their bloody boat in the middle of the night want to see the New Year in quietly.
 ::)
Given a choice of paying through the nose for extravagant or pretentious, I'd take extravagant every time!
 :D
Title: The same subject you see elsewhere no the thread - blame my stupid phone
Post by: Mike Gloady on 14 October, 2009, 09:23:28 am
Nobody should be subjected to jazz without their prior express written permission in triplicate. It is a broad genre and one that divides folks neatly into love/hate camps. Personally i like some jazz but, like metal and hip hop, it's not for everyone. Can't quite understand this move except from pretentious motives. My sympathies.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 October, 2009, 09:32:20 am
They're trying to be upmarket rather than fun or good value.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 14 October, 2009, 12:17:37 pm
Josh Rouse has a new EP out, but it's only available as a download.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 14 October, 2009, 01:34:55 pm
I get really wound up when people, despite having no interest in jazz (or might own just one jazz album at most – usually a compilation album) include jazz as one of their interests on their CV. I think they hope it is making them look cool and sophisticated. I did ask a friend once what jazz he likes after just having seen his CV and he had no answer. And I recently saw a relative's message on some dating website (I was being nosey) and she includes jazz when I know for a fact she has no interest in it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 14 October, 2009, 03:58:39 pm
The moronic bus driver slammed the doors on me as I attempted to exit.  Sticking me between them.  First I, and then otehr passengers, attempted to call out and bring his attention to the fact I was stuck.  He then closed it properly and continued to ignore me. 

My ringing the bell was the only reason he stopped in the first place.  He then decided to tell me, loudly, that rushing the closing door was dangerous.  He'd only had it open for about the time it took to step forward into it's concertinaing maw. 

I called him a dog-funsterer.  Loudly.  But only AFTER he'd let me the EFF off his device of doom.  Git.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 14 October, 2009, 04:12:56 pm
I find the 16th century legal system very confusing. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 14 October, 2009, 04:35:10 pm
I just read a chapter about 17th Century changes in policy and law relating to piracy. 1 century later when dealing with something as exciting as Pirates they still couldn't make it engaging!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 14 October, 2009, 05:11:41 pm
Just popped to the corner shop to get some mushrooms, the nearest shop was shut, don't know why. I then had to back track past the house to the other one, only to find them with stickers on that said 'display until the 10th'. Jesus Christ is it any wonder people go to the supermarkets, plus they were all sweaty.

The worst bit is I don't eat them, I went out of love for my wife.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Zarjazzer on 14 October, 2009, 06:21:18 pm
I have left my new comic of Star Wars Invasion -at work. Who knows what will happen to it.and my copy of Walking Dead a comic i've yet to read a single issue of. And my umbrella.

The police were hovering over Harrow in a copter. is there some mystic, illuminati style connection. I think so.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 14 October, 2009, 06:50:39 pm
I get really wound up when people, despite having no interest in jazz (or might own just one jazz album at most – usually a compilation album) include jazz as one of their interests on their CV. I think they hope it is making them look cool and sophisticated. I did ask a friend once what jazz he likes after just having seen his CV and he had no answer. And I recently saw a relative's message on some dating website (I was being nosey) and she includes jazz when I know for a fact she has no interest in it.
I think you have misunderstood what a chap means when he describe "Jazz" as an interest. Next time, try asking what his favourite periodicals are.

Actually, I've never encountered anyone who would describe jazz as an interest. If I did, I would refuse to employ them on general principle. The principle being that I abhor jazz music.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 14 October, 2009, 08:04:48 pm
I dont see what relevence what your musical tastes are when applying for a job.WTF has it got to do with anything ?

Why do employers need to know what school you went to or what your interests are ?

I quite like Jazz but i dont have any in my collection as its an area of music i havent really explored.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 14 October, 2009, 08:08:07 pm
Actually, I've never encountered anyone who would describe jazz as an interest. If I did, I would refuse to employ them on general principle. The principle being that I abhor jazz music.

I just don't get all this angry, violent hate for jazz. You're so violent in your angry hate for jazz that I'm off, you bitchy negative jazz-hating middle-aged man!




No, I jest.

I don't like jazz very much either. But my wife does, so I'm often forced to listen to it, or to go places where it happens. Most of the time it's perfectly listenable in a sort of muzack sense, but leaves me neither moved nor changed in any way. It seems to exist solely so that old men with ugly instruments have something to do. And so that young men can affect being "strangely distanced from their surroundings, but in a cool, not mental, way".

All that said, Van Morrison is a Living God and I had one of the very best nights of my life on a "jazz cruise" on Lake Windermere last year.

And I like jazz mags.

SBT

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 14 October, 2009, 08:32:32 pm
Zarjazzer,

You're in Harrow?  The borough, nay, the town of my birth.  I'm in Stanmore personally.  Ah, the youngest and BEST Borough of London I think.....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 15 October, 2009, 01:37:09 am
I was walking downhill a couple of days ago with a decent tune stuck in my mind but this was all ruined by some boy racer inching along in traffic beside me with his crap 'music' blaring out of his heap of shit they call a car. Sal from 'Do the right thing came to mind': "No rap, no music, no music, no music." (It wasn't rap but that quote still came to mind.)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 October, 2009, 01:50:44 am
I was walking downhill a couple of days ago with a decent tune stuck in my mind but this was all ruined by some boy racer inching along in traffic beside me with his crap 'music' blaring out of his heap of shit they call a car. Sal from 'Do the right thing came to mind': "No rap, no music, no music, no music." (It wasn't rap but that quote still came to mind.)

 SMIC

 [Shit Music In Cars]

 Thats what i always call it.

 I think i heard someone playing Propaganda [80s German ZTT band if anyone doesnt know] and i was amazed because otherwise i have never heard anything any good when its played loud through a car hi-fi .
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 15 October, 2009, 09:06:31 am
Oh, I love Propaganda! Great fun. There's my driving music for next week sorted. Today I will be mostly listening to Depeche Mode. Construction Time Again on the way there, Songs of Faith and Devotion on the way back.

Anyway, procession of minor impediments...

Yesterday I worked 20 hours straight through, 07.00 to 03.00, and today I started work at 08.30 and likely won't finish until 19.00; so that's 10 and a half hours. Pay-wise it works out about £9.34 an hour. The trouble is, I can't increase my earnings by working longer hours. Staying up all night to get it done just reduces the hourly rate. The financial incentives to do a good job are not great to nonexistent: it's the pride I take in my work that stops me doing a half-arsed job.

But it's only a minor impediment. Life's pretty good generally, and my mood hasn't been so up in a long while.

9/10  ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 October, 2009, 05:28:01 pm
Oh, I love Propaganda! Great fun. There's my driving music for next week sorted. Today I will be mostly listening to Depeche Mode. Construction Time Again on the way there, Songs of Faith and Devotion on the way back.

Anyway, procession of minor impediments...

Yesterday I worked 20 hours straight through, 07.00 to 03.00, and today I started work at 08.30 and likely won't finish until 19.00; so that's 10 and a half hours. Pay-wise it works out about £9.34 an hour. The trouble is, I can't increase my earnings by working longer hours. Staying up all night to get it done just reduces the hourly rate. The financial incentives to do a good job are not great to nonexistent: it's the pride I take in my work that stops me doing a half-arsed job.

But it's only a minor impediment. Life's pretty good generally, and my mood hasn't been so up in a long while.

9/10  ;D

 A Secret Wish an astonishingly good album.

 Someone nicked my large onion that was part of the ingredients for tonights dinner.

 GRrrrr......

 I went into the sausage shop today and someone else got the last sausage roll and i growled at them .
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Zarjazzer on 15 October, 2009, 06:07:45 pm
Zarjazzer,

You're in Harrow?  The borough, nay, the town of my birth.  I'm in Stanmore personally.  Ah, the youngest and BEST Borough of London I think.....

I work in harrow today we ran up the hill as one of my chums is off on a trek up Kilimanjaro. Harrow hill don't quite compare but it's a start. and had a nice pint at The Castle. Very posh. :)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 15 October, 2009, 06:16:17 pm
This just happened at the Forces house at about 17:15

The family had just sat down for tea (toad in the hole) and there was a knock at the door. I got up and went to answer, there was an old bloke there with one of those hand held gizmo's.

"Hello, I'm here to read the gas and electric".
"I do all that online mate," I replied.
"Well I'm here to read it anyway," he countered.
"I do it online and therefore I don't see the need for you to go down my cellar anymore to read those meters."
"So you are refusing entry?" he replied.
"Yes mate, I am, and you can also put down on that thing that you interrupted my evening meal with my family and that if EON send another bod round to ask to read my meters I'll switch to another user, even if it's more expensive, and NEVER come back. Did you manage to get all that mate? Off you go then," and then I closed the door.

I then sat back down with the family and the wife asked who was that, to which I replied "A TWAT!" I did tell her who it was straight after though.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 15 October, 2009, 06:17:54 pm
one of my chums is off on a trek up Kilimanjaro.

Are there any people left in the country who haven't done this ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 15 October, 2009, 06:26:33 pm
Quote
"I do all that online mate," I replied.

I don't get it, CF. These days I submit my leccy readings online too, but they still need to check it every now and again, to make sure I'm not telling porkies.  Please explain!

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 15 October, 2009, 06:44:09 pm
My worst one was when my standing order went from £60 a month for Gas & Electricity to £90ish (can't quite remember the exact figure). I rang them up and asked why and they said that they had projected that I would be using this amount in the coming year.
I told them that they can bloody well put it back to what it was because I use as little of each as is possible (the wife will vouch for this).
We argued on the phone about how much I use and I said, look back through my records and tell me, do I look as though I'm suddenly going to use half as much again, No, thought not. Put it back to £60 then.
They said that I may end up owing them at the end of the year and I said "I doubt it."
They replied by saying that if I owe them money I'd have to pay it all in a one'r. Let's just do that then and see what happens.
In the end they owed me money.

I am one of those people who will sit in a room with the windows open in mid winter in a pair iof shorts and not feel the cold. By the way I do let the wife have the heating on, in fact we put that back on yesterday.
I believe we should all save money by not wasting energy so that we can buy more Dredd items ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Zarjazzer on 15 October, 2009, 06:58:09 pm
one of my chums is off on a trek up Kilimanjaro.

Are there any people left in the country who haven't done this ;)

it's for chari- dee! Great Ormond Street hospital.His local hospital told him his son would die and they shouldn't bother doing anything. Fortunately a visiting doc from Great Ormond proposed some treatment and it worked. Him and another colleague with a similiar story are going up next June. i suppose you could just hold a raffle... :), seriously tho,  good for them.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 15 October, 2009, 07:47:06 pm
I work in harrow today we ran up the hill as one of my chums is off on a trek up Kilimanjaro. Harrow hill don't quite compare but it's a start. and had a nice pint at The Castle. Very posh. :)
The Castle is my favourite pub that nobody's ever heard of.  Even for a (mostly) lifelong resident of this, the fairest of Boroughs, it seems to go unnoticed by many round here which is sort of a shame.  Although it does make finding a seat a hell of a lot easier. 

Quiet night out in Harrow - Castle.  Loud, fun, raucous night out - Trinity (with top notch bands and DJs upstairs too).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 October, 2009, 08:04:37 pm
I have to go to the bloody shop again because i forgot butter.I am already fed up with the idea of cooking Macaroni Cheese tonight but i dont have a choice because there is nothing else to eat.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 15 October, 2009, 08:05:44 pm
Quote
"I do all that online mate," I replied.
I don't get it, CF. These days I submit my leccy readings online too, but they still need to check it every now and again, to make sure I'm not telling porkies.  Please explain!
Yep. And with the gas meter they have a legal duty to check it for safety every year or two (vagueness due to length of time since I had to know this and NBAL) so you'll never find a company who never call to check.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 15 October, 2009, 08:13:22 pm
How do they check it with a torch. As every other time I've let them in I've stood right next to them so they can't steal any Dredd stuff as I know that's what the buggers are looking at!
All they have ever done is shine the torch on the numbers, write them onto their gizmo (whilst saying the numbers aloud) and then move onto the other meter and repeat. What else are they doing, our meter is less than 5 years old and I can smell gas so what are they looking for. I bet it's just to see if you are wired up to the street lights (on the electric side) but I have no idea on the gas side, apart from said leaks!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 16 October, 2009, 12:07:44 am
Someone nicked my large onion that was part of the ingredients for tonights dinner.

It's crime central where you live, Peter! Like something out of The Wire or... Hill Street Blues.  ;)

one of my chums is off on a trek up Kilimanjaro.

Are there any people left in the country who haven't done this ;)

I will never, ever, ever in my whole lifetime do that or anything like it. No thanks. I would rather read a book. But not a boring one. I may go on another 3-day walk from my front door to somewhere else though. So I do have a spirit of adventure of sorts, as long as there are pubs and convenience stores every 10 miles or so.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 October, 2009, 12:20:13 am
Someone nicked my large onion that was part of the ingredients for tonights dinner.

It's crime central where you live, Peter! Like something out of The Wire or... Hill Street Blues.  ;)


It wasnt worth crying over it anyway.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 16 October, 2009, 12:25:23 am
I don't see the need for you to go down my cellar anymore to read those meters.....

....I told them that they can bloody well put it back to what it was because I use as little of each as is possible (the wife will vouch for this).

What a lovely world it would be if all services and utilities worked on this basis - "What? Income tax - no, mate I don't owe any. Ask my mum" or "That was only about five gallons I put in, honest, my mate was watching me"  ;D

Only kidding - but this is why I'll drop everything to let them actually physically read the damn thing, otherwise they just make up numbers and then add a bit for luck. The problem is getting them to do this - once a year is about par for the course, the rest are guesstimations.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 16 October, 2009, 03:51:38 am
Someone nicked my large onion that was part of the ingredients for tonights dinner.

It's crime central where you live, Peter! Like something out of The Wire or... Hill Street Blues.  ;)


It wasnt worth crying over it anyway.


Someone might have cried over it tonight...it is an onion after all.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 16 October, 2009, 07:33:49 am
Quote
I've stood right next to them so they can't steal any Dredd stuff as I know that's what the buggers are looking at!

Ahhhhh, I see.  Of course, I forgot that the meter'd be in that cellar, of story and fable.  Maybe you could point out the small admission fee?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 October, 2009, 10:07:42 am
Someone in our office has to go due to cutbacks. Yesterday we all got an 'interview' about it, and this morning we've been sent a 'personal file' to fill in, which is actually a job application form. For the job I'm already doing...
Anyway, it's a great atmosphere in here at the moment! One of us will find out if we're the lucky one, if they give the required noticed to quit the job, just before Christmas.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 16 October, 2009, 10:23:59 am
Ooh... and there was I about to moan about a leaking shower and angry downstairs neighbour. Not much in the way of consolation yer Lorship, but I've been in your shoes and it doesn't make for a room full of happy campers, even after the cutbacks have been made.

Sending you good luck vibes in a 'hope it all works out' sorta way from here...  :-\
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 October, 2009, 10:59:34 am
That sounds like a right bag of hoots and titters, Your Lordship.  You have my sympathies. 

Cruel though it is to wish unhappiness and strife upon an un-named stranger, I hope it's not you mate.  And I simultaneously hope it's someone who won't be destroyed by the experience but use it positively.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 October, 2009, 11:14:44 am
Cheers guys!

Yeah, it's a bit shite. What's annoying is that everyone in the office is a nice person. If only we had a bastard here, things would be so much easier!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bolt-01 on 16 October, 2009, 11:36:55 am
Yeah, there's never an E.B. Farnham in the room when you need someone to hate...

Big hugs Man.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 16 October, 2009, 11:43:55 am
Someone in our office has to go due to cutbacks. Yesterday we all got an 'interview' about it, and this morning we've been sent a 'personal file' to fill in, which is actually a job application form.

That's no minor impediment! That qualifies for a 'life spugs because...'
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 October, 2009, 11:44:33 am
Yeah, there's never an E.B. Farnham in the room when you need someone to hate...

Big hugs Man.

Heh. Yer goddamned fucking right!
Thanks.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 October, 2009, 11:46:00 am
Someone in our office has to go due to cutbacks. Yesterday we all got an 'interview' about it, and this morning we've been sent a 'personal file' to fill in, which is actually a job application form.

That's no minor impediment! That qualifies for a 'life spugs because...'

Ahhh, see, I thought about putting it on that thread, but decided on this one because at the moment it's just pissing me off a bit. Now, if we get the the end of December and I find out I'm the 'lucky' one, I may have to upgrade it to 'life spugs'...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 October, 2009, 11:48:09 am
That doesn't count as an "upgrade" your honour.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 October, 2009, 11:51:10 am
That doesn't count as an "upgrade" your honour.

Heh. Good point!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 October, 2009, 03:22:47 pm
A friend has had this re-applying for his job recently as well as there are going to be redundancies at some point.

My guess is he will go because he is an office full of small minded vindictive women who like to transfer their prejudices and boyfriend problems on the only male member of staff.

It sounds like its the latest thing  re-applying for jobs.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 16 October, 2009, 03:32:01 pm
ooh that sounds shan Lord Rac, my sympathies, the day to day morale must be through the ...floor.

Still you've got pro-comic writer, con-organiser, publisher, editor in your back pocket  ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 October, 2009, 03:42:48 pm
ooh that sounds shan Lord Rac, my sympathies, the day to day morale must be through the ...floor.

Still you've got pro-comic writer, con-organiser, publisher, editor in your back pocket  ;D

Indeed! All I need to do now is find a way to make that all pay money...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 16 October, 2009, 03:47:42 pm
Sympathies RAC, a situation I'm all too familiar with.  E.B. did have his uses.

And PW:

Quote
... an office full of small minded vindictive women who like to transfer their prejudices and boyfriend problems...

The very definition of office work!  Our office was similarly infested a few years back (okay, a lot of years back), but happily after careful pruning we're down to one mild example, and bad apple principle aside, one simply isn't enough to generate bitchy horribleness.  I should point out that most of my current colleagues are women, and (with aforementioned exception) models of level-headed easy-going professionalism.  

However, there was a point when entering certain rooms at any time of day resulted in sudden silence and sullen, utterly miserable looks, and a general feeling that being male was the equivalent of being on the run from a war crimes tribunal.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 October, 2009, 05:28:53 pm
Sympathies RAC, a situation I'm all too familiar with.  E.B. did have his uses.

And PW:

Quote
... an office full of small minded vindictive women who like to transfer their prejudices and boyfriend problems...

The very definition of office work!  Our office was similarly infested a few years back (okay, a lot of years back), but happily after careful pruning we're down to one mild example, and bad apple principle aside, one simply isn't enough to generate bitchy horribleness.  I should point out that most of my current colleagues are women, and (with aforementioned exception) models of level-headed easy-going professionalism.  

However, there was a point when entering certain rooms at any time of day resulted in sudden silence and sullen, utterly miserable looks, and a general feeling that being male was the equivalent of being on the run from a war crimes tribunal.


Imagine yourself working in an office and the boss keeps saying over and over again "All men are shits" followed by "Oh sorry Gary - No offence !".This is what happens on a daily basis.

Personally i wouldnt tolerate that for very long and the way i see it is its highly unprofessional to bring ones own personal baggage and prejudices into the workplace like that.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 16 October, 2009, 07:13:16 pm
I let my son, Sam watch youtube through my page as he likes to trawl through all sorts of crap. The problem is all the stuff he favourites, it's embarrassing for me as anyone who finds my Dredd stuff will see that 'I' like the following-

Coronation Street Theme Tune 2008
Fireman Sam Theme Song - NEW
Chain Letters 1997 Part 3/3
say goodbye to teletubbies (with chinese subtitles)
etc.....

Autism is a wonderful thing ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 16 October, 2009, 09:48:49 pm
I stood in front of the 2000ad section in Forbidden Planet today with not a penny piece to my name.

All those beckoning temptresses, lined up on the shelves before me, with their shiny covers, promising unbridled joy within.

Others came, selected, and walked away with joyous expressions, whilst laughing at my pauper's gaze.

It's not fair, I tell you  :'(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 17 October, 2009, 08:07:46 am
Today I am going to waste my money on buying a complete set of crockery for the missus.
 We have the good set in the dining room, for special occasions, as you do! We also have the every day set, which has a few chips here and there and a few missing but there are only three of us, so who cares I say!
Sadly with my Dredd spenditure this month I have lost the argument :(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 17 October, 2009, 10:43:20 am
And every meal you eat from that crockery will contain a reminder of that money "wasted" at the bottom, beneath the gravy.  The ceramic laughter of the percelain gods rings in your ears like a modern day Orpheus and you suspect you're being taken for a ride.....

Horrid.  Been there.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 17 October, 2009, 01:21:37 pm
I wish the idiot that keeps listing their comics in the original comic art section of Ebay would just stop .

It means going through 20 pages of items that shouldnt even be there and its annoying.I just sent the seller an Email asking them to stop doing it.

GGGRRrr...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 17 October, 2009, 02:04:06 pm
I wish the idiot that keeps listing their comics in the original comic art section of Ebay would just stop .

It means going through 20 pages of items that shouldnt even be there and its annoying.I just sent the seller an Email asking them to stop doing it.

GGGRRrr...

With you on this one. Is it just one seller though? There always seems to be loads of stuff only about 20% of the lots ever seem to actually be art and not comics, or posters etc.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 17 October, 2009, 02:48:49 pm
I wish the idiot that keeps listing their comics in the original comic art section of Ebay would just stop .

It means going through 20 pages of items that shouldnt even be there and its annoying.I just sent the seller an Email asking them to stop doing it.

GGGRRrr...

With you on this one. Is it just one seller though? There always seems to be loads of stuff only about 20% of the lots ever seem to actually be art and not comics, or posters etc.

Its predominantly a seller called APA234 which must be an acronym for A Pain inthe Arse 234.

There are others as well but i dont see what the problem is with listing items in the correct category.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 17 October, 2009, 03:16:20 pm
Thank God that's over with.
 We had to buy 2 sets of 4 plates, 4 side plates, 4 bowls & 4 cups as we wanted 6 of each only but this was the cheapest way to do it. We don't need the cups but it was still cheaper this way.

I know it's amazing, if we bought 6 of each individually it would be a lot more expensive and you don't get any packaging, how's that happen!

Ah well, it's over with for a few years now.
One good thing though, we're having Chinese tonight and when we finish the meal we will just throw out our old plates. How decadent ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 17 October, 2009, 06:55:36 pm
Ah, a hidden benefit I'd not thought of.  Nice one.  Enjoy the Chinese - I'm eating BAD microwave food (because I'm lazy and not actually that hungry) whilst watching Come Dine with Me (which I started to watch in the hope it'd give me an appetite).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 17 October, 2009, 07:19:14 pm
I'm just amazed there's money for food, never mind plates, after the Cellar has taken its cut!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 18 October, 2009, 05:06:52 am
I'm just amazed there's money for food, never mind plates, after the Cellar has taken its cut!

It's a perfect balance of finances that does it, plus I don't go on the piss like in those army days. That drinking lark is quite expensive!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 18 October, 2009, 07:45:37 am
I've finished  what I was doing, now do I go back to bed, go and get a newspaper or have beans on toast with a couple of fried eggs!!!!!
I want sleep but I want food and the paper shop is only 1 minutes walk away.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 18 October, 2009, 08:50:48 am
Well that's all sorted, went to the paper shop, had beans on toast and now just waiting for it to settle before I go back to bed!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 19 October, 2009, 01:47:27 pm
And every meal you eat from that crockery will contain a reminder of that money "wasted" at the bottom, beneath the gravy.  The ceramic laughter of the percelain gods rings in your ears like a modern day Orpheus and you suspect you're being taken for a ride.....

Horrid.  Been there.

That's what happens when you spunk an irrational amount of cash on a 'Wonder Woman' breakfast service young man!
Minor impediment of the day? Lack of an extra button at the bottom of my dress, damn thing keeps flapping open as I walk
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 19 October, 2009, 01:58:13 pm
Quote
Lack of an extra button at the bottom of my dress, damn thing keeps flapping open as I walk

Miiiiiike!  Your friend is teasing the marrieds!  
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 19 October, 2009, 02:02:57 pm
Sorry Tordels, I have no control over what she says.  And believe me I've tried....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 19 October, 2009, 02:05:05 pm
Ooops! Sorry chaps, it's only a minor impediment - honest!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 19 October, 2009, 02:10:21 pm
They love it really.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 19 October, 2009, 02:32:18 pm
Ooops! Sorry chaps, it's only a minor impediment - honest!

For you, but not for the rest of us.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 19 October, 2009, 03:08:11 pm
*sigh* back to trousers it is then...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 19 October, 2009, 04:37:31 pm
Next you will be publishing photies on the board for us.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 19 October, 2009, 04:58:58 pm
Next you will be publishing photies on the board for us.

V

Your hypnotic suggestion techniques aren't working! You need to take some tips from Derren Brown.  ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 19 October, 2009, 05:10:24 pm
Bloody Jedi mind tricks, eh V?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 19 October, 2009, 05:26:04 pm
Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile phones in libraries.  Mobile. Phones. In. LIBRARIES.

Annoying, isn't it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 19 October, 2009, 05:49:40 pm
so not a big fan of the mobile phone then?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 19 October, 2009, 06:10:04 pm
so not a big fan of the mobile phone then?

In fairness, it's not the phones, it's the PEOPLE WHO SHOUT INTO THEM FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE HOURS.  In libraries.  Without sanction.  It's a library.  There's the door. Step outside and do your shouting and then come back in.  I promise you won't die.  Stay here and I make no such guarantees.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 19 October, 2009, 06:18:30 pm
I dont want to hear someones mobile conversation when i am waiting to pay for something a shop .They even continue the conversation when they are paying which i think is just plain impolite.

A lot of people have no manners and no awareness of others and a mobile is just gives them the means to be even more annoying than they already are.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 19 October, 2009, 06:32:38 pm
Sadly at Christmas one of our neighbours died. She was a lovely woman in her 90's and the house remained empty until a property bod bought it in the summer.
Once alterations were finished it went up for rent at £895 per month, we didn't think it was worth that much, especially as the info was wrong on the website.
Anyway we saw visitors come and go and they all asked us questions but it never seemed to get a tenant. That is until a couple moved in about a month ago.
Now you should never judge a book by a cover BUT...........
I fucking knew it had went to people on the DHSS as there was no way in the current climate that anyone was going to pay that amount of rent. Well they have two large dogs that are permanently locked up in the shed at the bottom of the garden. I have only seen them once. They have two parrots that are kept in their cage in the garden with a bloody towel on the top of the cage to, I suppose, keep the rain out!!!
They have two cats, a tortoise and who knows what else in the house. They shout all the time at each other and there is a small baby in the house, that must be nice for it (don't know what it is).
Anyway they wanted to build a fence and asked if we wanted the good side facing us (as you are supposed to do), I said no mate it's your fence you have that side. Then they began to build it. After I had noticed the first two panels go up I had to stop them and tell them that the fence already there is actually their fence. They stopped for about a week. I was thinking that they would pull the other fence down, well it is logical.
I got up today and noticed three more panels in place behind the already in situ fence. I had to confront the scum. I knocked on the door and asked them what they were doing with the old fence as it would start to rot during the following months once the rain got between the fences and the wind can't get in to dry them out. Plus it looks absolutely ridiculous from our side. Dimbo then says, "You said we could have the good side on our side" to which I said (politely) "yes mate, I'm not on about that, I'm on about you leaving the old fence in place. you can't see how stupid it looks on this side." He then said "Do you want me to take the old fence up."
I then explained that he should have just replaced the old fence with the new as that is what normal people do. Jesus Fucking Christ, I will be glad when the fence is up and I don't have to see these twats again.
I am an understanding person but how does someone think they can build a bigger fence behind a fence they already have!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 19 October, 2009, 06:47:34 pm
That red text right there is a minor impediment(!)

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 19 October, 2009, 06:48:46 pm
My easy going blue should not be wasted on those cretins next door!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 19 October, 2009, 06:50:38 pm
 :o CF breaks out the red ink!  Well you might quake in fear, neighboureenos!  

An update on my far more important phone-library situation.  Right now, another annoying lady is shouting into her phone.  Miracle of miracles, the nice Afghani library security guard (there are four - it's that kind of library) approaches her and quietly reminds her that this is a library.  She turns towards him briefly and in a completely dismissive tone (I kid you not) says: "Sorry, be with you in a minute, I'm on the phone".  Poor bugger just stands there with his mouth hanging open while she wanders on through the stacks, still shouting.  I can still hear her in the distance.  

That poor man has had a hard time lately.  Last Thursday evening a young fellow was getting his disturbing sexual kicks by playing a grim-sounding porn movie incredibly loudly on his laptop, having sat down at long table which already housed a gaggle of schoolgirls.  The young security guard was first on the scene, and tried to get the 21st century pervert to shut it down.  "What? What's the problem  I just forgot my earphones, yeah?".   Two of his larger colleagues appeared and the techno-flasher was escorted from the premises.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 19 October, 2009, 06:53:38 pm
I would be seriously thinking about calling the RSPCA myself as it sounds like fuckwits next door are not even fit to look after a pot plant.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 19 October, 2009, 06:59:47 pm
I am thinking about it Peter as I forgot to mention that they have three ducks as well. I was thinking that once the fence was finished they would let the dogs out. Now that they have ducks I can't see this being possible as I think they would be torn to pieces. I know our other neighbour is thinking of calling the RSPCA so I will wait and find out if she has.
Why us, what have we done to get the Adams family moving in next door.
Come to think of it, I wonder, if you are renting are you allowed to keep a zoo?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 19 October, 2009, 07:01:13 pm
Couldn't make all that post CF, the red just did my head in.  But I read enough to be annoyed on your behalf and understood the red. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 19 October, 2009, 11:27:57 pm
I really need to see a doctor about my foot.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 19 October, 2009, 11:45:34 pm
I had a dream where my glasses broke.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 20 October, 2009, 06:56:17 pm
Our department has moved to another floor of the building and all the teams reorganised. Plenty of minor irritations (changing the default printer, not knowing the fax number, not enough coat hooks etc etc), but to listen to the constant moaning you'd think we'd been on Chairman Mao's Long fecking March!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 20 October, 2009, 07:13:35 pm
My new (purple if you were wondering and I'm sure you weren't)Dr Martins are determined to gouge a hole into the back of my ankles - there's only one cure; THE CLEANSING FIRE!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 20 October, 2009, 08:39:08 pm
I thought there were four slices of pizza left but there are only two, which isn't really enough for dinner, and I didn't go to the shops on the way home as I thought I had half a pizza left.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 20 October, 2009, 09:12:24 pm
My new (purple if you were wondering and I'm sure you weren't)Dr Martins are determined to gouge a hole into the back of my ankles - there's only one cure; THE CLEANSING FIRE!

What is it with women and purple doc martins. My missus has a pair.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 20 October, 2009, 10:20:01 pm
My new (purple if you were wondering and I'm sure you weren't)Dr Martins are determined to gouge a hole into the back of my ankles - there's only one cure; THE CLEANSING FIRE!

What is it with women and purple doc martins. My missus has a pair.






V

The pretty colour! Well that and the fact that your toes are safe when you're at a gig with clumsy men!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 20 October, 2009, 10:51:39 pm
I bought GREMLINS for 2-99 on DVD on Friday* and watched it with Mrs and Tiny Tips.

He liked it so much that he took it away with them when they went to visit Mrs Tips' chum down in the Borders.

They watched it but it then got stuck in here DVD player (which is built in to her telly).

It won't eject but it every other control works.  So you can watch any film at her house now as long as it's GREMLINS.


Actually, the fact that it's GREMLINS that is stuck in this way is close to fucking ironic genius so maybe this should be in the LIFE IS FANTASTIC thread






* PS - it was going cheap in HMV but don't waste your money; it's a great film but a really crappy transfer (almost VHS in quality) and has no extras at all.


And why in Grud's name is it still certificate 15. The knife work is all I can think of.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 20 October, 2009, 10:59:17 pm
I want a pair of Docs. They used to be all I would wear but at some point I switched to less painful shoes. Must get some.

They won't be purple.

- Trout
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 20 October, 2009, 11:17:01 pm
Gah! I finally decided to get Spotify and it turns out I need an invitation code. Unless I want to pay for it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 20 October, 2009, 11:56:12 pm
Top tip for breaking in new boots: wear them once, find out where it hurts, then start covering the injury with a plaster when you wear them again. Eventually the boots will soften up to the extent you no longer need to pad out the bits of your feet that get sore.

My minor impediment of the day is I'm knackered as usual. And I still have some work to do before I can go to bed, otherwise I won't be able to do my job properly. I could settle for not doing my job properly, I suppose.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 21 October, 2009, 08:24:02 am

And why in Grud's name is it still certificate 15. The knife work is all I can think of.

Sorry to spin off top but do films get re-certificated? I always wondered this as lot of old horror or whatever seems to have its old rating even though the standards change. Are films ever resubmitted to the Film Board or whatever? If not I wonder why I mean Gremlins is surely a PG these days or one of those various 12 certificates they create whenever a big film needs to find its audience?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 21 October, 2009, 06:56:34 pm
Just now i was walking home up the seafront and crossing a road and out of nowhere a car with a geezer driving came speeding round the corner and honking the horn at me which made me jump out of my skin which wound me up so i ran after the car for a bit but unfortunately the car got away which was unfortunate.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 21 October, 2009, 07:15:12 pm
Top tip for breaking in new boots: wear them once, find out where it hurts, then start covering the injury with a plaster when you wear them again. Eventually the boots will soften up to the extent you no longer need to pad out the bits of your feet that get sore.

My minor impediment of the day is I'm knackered as usual. And I still have some work to do before I can go to bed, otherwise I won't be able to do my job properly. I could settle for not doing my job properly, I suppose.

thanks for the suggestion! It always takes me ages to wear in shoes/boots, being on steroids for over 10 years has left me with skin like tissue paper  :)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 21 October, 2009, 07:18:39 pm
Minor impediment of the day - burnt a saucepan making mushroom risotto. Oh spoons
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 21 October, 2009, 07:31:50 pm
Quote
...being on steroids for over 10 years has left me with skin like tissue paper

Small price to pay for Olympic Gold!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 21 October, 2009, 07:36:43 pm
You know Wild, if I thought I was due one of these EVERY DAY I'd be a little more down in the mouth than you.

Although seemingly I am getting one a day, maybe I just refuse to see reality.

My impediment today is my brother popped by for a chat this morning.  Turned out what he wanted to talk about was something he got the wrong end of the stick about yesterday and had been brewing up a grump storm ever since.  He spoke to me, explaining it all.  I told him it was all a massive misunderstanding, he believed me and went back to work.

And I've spent the rest of the day feeling like utter shite because he felt, for whatever reason, he couldn't tell me straight away when we spoke on the phone the previous day.  My mood isn't HIS fault, it's mine for reacting this way, but I can't help but feel (childishly) that he just dumped HIS grump on me and ran off so I was stuck with it.  I know very well that if he were remotely aware of how this had affected me he'd be gutted.  Double standards, thy name is brotherhood.  I'm the strong one, I can cope would be my only response.  

All very silly.  Dinner and coffee have perked me up no end by comparison, but I'm still not feeling like going to my mates gig and seeing real people.  Very sullen and grumpy for, essentially, no reason.  
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 21 October, 2009, 07:39:49 pm
You know Wild, if I thought I was due one of these EVERY DAY I'd be a little more down in the mouth than you.

Although seemingly I am getting one a day, maybe I just refuse to see reality.

My impediment today is my brother popped by for a chat this morning.  Turned out what he wanted to talk about was something he got the wrong end of the stick about yesterday and had been brewing up a grump storm ever since.  He spoke to me, explaining it all.  I told him it was all a massive misunderstanding, he believed me and went back to work.

And I've spent the rest of the day feeling like utter shite because he felt, for whatever reason, he couldn't tell me straight away when we spoke on the phone the previous day.  My mood isn't HIS fault, it's mine for reacting this way, but I can't help but feel (childishly) that he just dumped HIS grump on me and ran off so I was stuck with it.  I know very well that if he were remotely aware of how this had affected me he'd be gutted.  Double standards, thy name is brotherhood.  I'm the strong one, I can cope would be my only response.  

All very silly.  Dinner and coffee have perked me up no end by comparison, but I'm still not feeling like going to my mates gig and seeing real people.  Very sullen and grumpy for, essentially, no reason.  

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, I don't like to think of you being sad AT ALL. Call me later?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 21 October, 2009, 08:03:51 pm
Brothers.  Can't live with 'em, didn't strangle them when they were too small to fight back.  

Much as they wreck my head on an almost continual basis, I'd be lost without mine.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 21 October, 2009, 08:04:42 pm
Does he do all the map reading!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 21 October, 2009, 08:06:45 pm
Does he do all the map reading!

Ha!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 21 October, 2009, 08:11:34 pm
I aim to please
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 22 October, 2009, 11:10:01 am
... Because I'm sat here studying group consolidation of balance sheets, when I could be drawing Dirty Frank for Bolt. 

Bah!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 22 October, 2009, 11:18:42 am
Looking forward to seeing that, Jim!

I forgot my wallet this morning.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 22 October, 2009, 01:22:12 pm

Much as they wreck my head on an almost continual basis, I'd be lost without mine.

I'd be richer without mine. "Do you want to meet up for a pint?" generally translates to "Do you want to buy me a pint while I explain to you how grateful I'd be for the loan* of £10/20/50 ..."

Cheers!

Jim

*By loan, I mean that in the karmic sense, rather than any strict definition involving, you know, actual repayment of the money. Obviously.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 22 October, 2009, 01:23:23 pm
Quote
...being on steroids for over 10 years has left me with skin like tissue paper

Small price to pay for Olympic Gold!

The tiddlywinks gold will be MINE in 2012!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 22 October, 2009, 04:28:26 pm
bloody students  >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 22 October, 2009, 05:15:00 pm
I'm dealing with a company called "Spook Erection". I mean, come on...!

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 22 October, 2009, 05:23:18 pm
It's certainly topical...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 22 October, 2009, 08:08:06 pm
I'm dealing with a company called "Spook Erection". I mean, come on...!

M@

What on earth do they do? Sell viagra to ghosts or put up haunted scaffolding?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 22 October, 2009, 08:10:02 pm
Relief for the horny dead.







V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 22 October, 2009, 08:29:08 pm
And when you say dealing with them...???
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 October, 2009, 11:01:20 pm
This raspberry cider is pretty gross.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 23 October, 2009, 09:22:57 am
Try raspberry beer instead.
Mmmm, Frambosenbier...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 23 October, 2009, 10:19:34 am
Quote from: Dandontdare
What on earth do they do? Sell viagra to ghosts or put up haunted scaffolding?

It's to do with a show of "The Little Shop of Horrors", so I thought they may be making the big plant (aka Audrey II) and do stuff like that - which would make the name quite good I suppose. However, they do car boot sales. And their logo - unless I'm misinterpreting it - is of a ghost with a bulge in its trousers. Ahem.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 23 October, 2009, 10:22:38 am
Quote
a ghost with a bulge in its trousers.

Patrick Swayze?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 23 October, 2009, 01:06:58 pm
I STILL haven't made it to the shops to get Prog 1658.  :o


(wondering what car boot sales have to do with Little Shop of Horrors)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 23 October, 2009, 01:33:42 pm
(wondering what car boot sales have to do with Little Shop of Horrors)

Maybe the boot in question is in a Renault Eclipse?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 23 October, 2009, 06:18:01 pm
I'm dealing with a company called "Spook Erection". I mean, come on...!

M@

Hurr hurr, you said SPOOK  ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 23 October, 2009, 08:23:21 pm
Thought we'd sneak out to the cinema tonight but there's nothing but horror films and bland rom coms on. Mrs Tips doesn't do horror and neither of us are keen on a bland rom com.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 23 October, 2009, 09:59:50 pm
And their logo - unless I'm misinterpreting it - is of a ghost with a bulge in its trousers. Ahem.

Bloody hell - it is as well!

(http://www.spookerection.com/images/spook_ghost_lblue.jpg)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 23 October, 2009, 10:05:50 pm
It looks like a Moomin after it meets a steamroller.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 23 October, 2009, 10:07:25 pm
Glad someone else googled them. However, I now hope Banners doesn't get into shite for lampooning them on the Internet. I've met him. He's a skinny lad and needs to eat.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 24 October, 2009, 10:30:24 pm
I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my own stomach as it wanted me to vomit. It was pretty much just straight up projectile vomiting. And I didn't even feel shitty enough afterwards to justify taking the day off work.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 24 October, 2009, 10:41:12 pm
Forgot to mention I was sick on my pens.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 24 October, 2009, 10:47:31 pm
The fourth episode of Season 2 of The Clone Wars makes absolutely no sense.  The scope and quality of the visuals have never been better, but the story and situations were incomprehensible, and absolutely nothing exploded.  And they were doing so well!  I checked the credits but the hand of George was nowhere to be seen.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 24 October, 2009, 11:37:30 pm
I almost fell over and dropped my toast when I came up the stairs.
Title: The same subject you see elsewhere no the thread - blame my stupid phone
Post by: Mike Gloady on 24 October, 2009, 11:47:46 pm
Get well soon Godpleton. Sounds like you're coming down with something.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 25 October, 2009, 12:31:56 am
In recent days, I've been finding it more and more difficult to fall asleep. This resulted in me not hearing my alarm and nearly being late for work this morning.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 25 October, 2009, 09:57:08 am
I keep thinking its Monday.

Also have the clocks gone an hour backwards ?

 :-\
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 25 October, 2009, 10:16:16 am
Yeah, they have.  And Wild7/Kate even INFORMED me of this.  No wonder the graveyard wasn't open when I got there (normally opens at 9).  Sorry for waking you up so early on a Sunday mum and dad!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 25 October, 2009, 07:29:05 pm
Illness seems to be all gone so I had to go in to work but I still have a sore throat from super painful vomiting.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 25 October, 2009, 08:46:49 pm
I spent 6 hours filling and sanding today but although I've made good progress towards the completion of the job, after I'd finished I felt nothing.
 :-X

But to balance the scale, Vincent D'Onofrio's rigor mortis 'bug' acting in Men In Black made me laugh out loud.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 25 October, 2009, 08:52:36 pm
The Rakes have split up - I'm not claiming they were a great band, but they provided one of the most fun nights out I've ever had
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 26 October, 2009, 06:15:11 pm
Bollocks, the fridge light has blown!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 26 October, 2009, 08:44:36 pm
someone at our office decided that the level of lighting in the office was too dim for "health & safety" (despite the fact that we work from screens, which have their own illumination) Over the weekend they have had the whole floor fitted out with new lighting. Several people reported headaches due to the blinding glare, but I was informed that wearing my shades in the office did not conform to the dress code.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 26 October, 2009, 09:37:35 pm
I got in from work at five to eight. Just in time to put the kettle on before University Challenge. Or so I thought. Unfortunately, BBC mandarins, in their wisdom, have decreed that us merry Jockos would rather watch some tedious pish about clans instead.

And DdD, what is your policy on mirrored contact lenses?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 26 October, 2009, 10:05:10 pm
And DdD, what is your policy on mirrored contact lenses?

I think my policy is: :o COOL!  :o - where can I get some? Oh wait, that would involve putting things in my eye, right? *shudder*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 27 October, 2009, 09:09:25 am
Bollocks, the fridge light has blown!

Ours blew three years ago- and we still haven't replaced it.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 28 October, 2009, 01:38:11 am
So I borrow my Mother's DS (21st century living or what) to help me decide whether I'm going to take the plunge this Christmas and get one myself.  I fiddle about with the 42 Classic Games thing, heh, that bowling is pretty good fun.  Then I put in Professor Layton and 2 hours of good solid late-night working time pass in an instant. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 28 October, 2009, 08:28:38 am
Why is it that the more irritable you become, the more cling film sticks to itself?
Design flaw surely?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 28 October, 2009, 10:43:04 am
Bollocks, the fridge light has blown!

are you sure it doesn't switch on when the fridge door is closed?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 28 October, 2009, 10:55:49 am
Bollocks, the fridge light has blown!

are you sure it doesn't switch on when the fridge door is closed?

Sadly I have it to the left of the keyboard to remind me to go down the town and get a replacement and it has blown. My good lady was all for the fridge being dead but after two days it's still cold in there. Not that I'm sat in there now typing ;)
So that's a bulb for the fridge, one for the cooker (I'm with you SBT on this one as I think this went 5 years ago ish), mince for spaghetti tonight, a piece of replacement glass for Sam's den for when we move the chickens into that, a couple of buckets, a newspaper, watch some recorded telly, etc...
A mans work is never done ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 28 October, 2009, 11:40:54 am
3 seem to have forgotten I have a 24 month contract, rather than an 18 month one, so have offered me a free upgrade on my mobile next month ie. 6 months early.

However, they don't have any better handsets than the Nokia E71 I already own.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 28 October, 2009, 11:48:35 am
There's a good chance they won't have any decent new handsets in 6 months either. Nokia have been stuck in the "we fear change" rut for years now. Sorry. I'm Nokiaphobic ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 28 October, 2009, 11:53:05 am
I may have to switch allegiance and get an iPhone. ~shudder~

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 28 October, 2009, 11:58:03 am
There's a good chance they won't have any decent new handsets in 6 months either. Nokia have been stuck in the "we fear change" rut for years now. Sorry. I'm Nokiaphobic ;)

You've not experienced true mobile phone horror till you've used a vodafone own-brand one, I still need councilling
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 28 October, 2009, 12:10:20 pm
There's a good chance they won't have any decent new handsets in 6 months either. Nokia have been stuck in the "we fear change" rut for years now. Sorry. I'm Nokiaphobic ;)

You've not experienced true mobile phone horror till you've used a vodafone own-brand one, I still need councilling

Have you heard of the Sagem MV3020? Airbrushed out of its own company history. Unique Selling Point was it fell apart as you were using it. When mine 'retired' it was home to more sellotape than technology.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 28 October, 2009, 12:12:21 pm
Sod it I'm gonna have to go down the town and do those jobs or else I'm in the brown smelly ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 28 October, 2009, 12:50:06 pm
Because I just had a fifteen minute conversation with some insurance nut, which is enough of a minor impediment to qualify for inclusion here by itself - BUT THERE'S MORE!

Found my mum had an "insurance" policy from the water company.  Phoned them to check what it was for (all other phonecalls have been to organise the direct debit being changed into my name or whatever, but since being screwed over by holiday insurance I'm always sceptical).  Spent ages trying to figure out WHAT it covered, talked to three seperate people (politely, I'm always polite) before finally being told it's for "pest nfestation, burst sewers, broken water pipes" and other highly unlikely things.  I've never known anyone to have this insurance.  I have never had it.  I've never met anyone who's had one of these things happen.  And, being insurance people, they will wriggle like a snake in a frying pan to get out of paying up anyway.

I'm sure, should this happen, I'll be slightly annoyed with myself for cancelling the insurance.  But I'm also sure that my dear disabled, blind and living off a pension mum, having had this for ten years, has paid more money than she'd ever have saved.  Were she alive, I like to think she'd understand. 

And if that wasn't enough of a minor impediment, I've made four other calls like that today.  Whoohoo! 

Time for a cuppa and frozen pizza.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 28 October, 2009, 12:56:53 pm
The Insurance racket; the career choice of people who would have been criminals but didn't fancy the hours
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 28 October, 2009, 01:14:01 pm
Time for a cuppa and frozen pizza.

I'd prefer fizzy pop and a cooked pizza myself Mike. Hope you don't break your teeth ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 28 October, 2009, 01:20:09 pm
It's cooking now.  I learned me lesson *ow*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 28 October, 2009, 03:11:56 pm
Bollocks, the fridge light has blown!

New bulb (it cost £2:48) in and just like God I have created light.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 28 October, 2009, 03:54:35 pm
I bow down before you oh light maker *does interpretive dance of the donkey*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 29 October, 2009, 12:14:24 am
People and companies who make a living out selling unnecessary or non-existent services to people who cannot afford to lay out all in one go when things unexpectedly go wrong are just f***ing scum. I'm sorry to hear you've had to deal with their ilk, Mike.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 29 October, 2009, 10:15:44 pm
Went to Brighton today with the family and couldn't park on the promenade because there was a Fucking Massive Marquee being constructed on about 50 parking places. We then drove around the town looking for a place and entered an NCP place only to see at the last second a tiny price list. Jesus Christ they wanted about £9 for a few hours. I reversed out, I ain't paying that for Brighton. We then drove back to the prom and I used my advanced driving skills to get into a gap a few inches longer than the car.
We then had a pleasant day.


By the way we didn't see Peter Wolf anywhere!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 30 October, 2009, 09:13:48 am
He was probably loping about inside the marquee?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 30 October, 2009, 10:18:10 am
"Roll up! Roll up!"
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 30 October, 2009, 12:37:54 pm
Quote
By the way we didn't see Peter Wolf anywhere!

He was probably busily writing a post complaining about flash gits parking on the promenade!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 31 October, 2009, 12:22:44 pm
I just called to cancel my contract and 3 have now remembered I'm on a 24 month deal, not an 18 month deal. Bah!

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 31 October, 2009, 03:00:20 pm
My girlfriend's mate has let her down for tonight.
This gives me the worrying feeling she may end up accompanying me and being a massive killjoy all night, like last year.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 02 November, 2009, 09:14:25 am
The unsmiling, sourpuss, eastern-European-staffed UK service sector, especially catering and hospitality. I understand why the service sector depends upon eastern Europeans. You couldn't get middle class Brits to do the jobs they do, looking as smart as they do, for the wages those jobs pay, but you can get well-trained, ambitious middle class migrants from the Baltic states who are interested in careers in hotel and restaurant management. The only Brits you get wanting careers in these industries just aren't posh enough to satisfy the snobbery of the employers involved and many of them lack the basic skills needed. At least with foreigners if they don't have a wide vocabulary and good people skills it's because English isn't their first language and they have a superior attitude, but they are well groomed and business-like into the bargain.

However, business-like isn't the same thing as efficient, and employers seem not to know or care what the difference is. So they employ talking mannequins to mumble a script full of words they have no clue how to pronounce, who cannot answer a query that deviates from the range of answers they are expecting (they ask the questions; you, the customer, supply the answers), who do not understanding the words 'plumbing' or 'cistern' when you report a maintenance issue that it would be in the hotel's interest to fix (the flush lever arm went up and down but the cistern failed to empty three times in 2 days), and who have no idea that the scruffy looking old man in walking gear carrying two large rucksacks is a surgeon, is more posh than they can imagine, and his room has been paid for by a professional body for orthopaedic surgeons, not a mysterious firm of which they have no record called 'Other... Something-Something?'

What irritates me is that so many of them seem to think the customer is an idiot for having no prior acquaintance with the hotel or restaurant's procedures, they seem to think they are better than their customers because they are posh where they come from and they look down on people who don't have expensive tastes, they can barely disguise their contempt for anyone who is so poor and revolting they pay for a hotel booking with £290 in Tesco Clubcard hotel vouchers instead of using a credit card like decent people of consequence, and few of them have grasped the simple equation that you don't rebuke customers gruffly with the words "there is a queue" when there obviously isn't one and the company you work for wants to take upwards of £30 off them for a quick lunch for two.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 03 November, 2009, 08:18:57 am
I have quite a few things to do in the garden today and it's pissing down ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 03 November, 2009, 10:13:25 am
Just got back from buying some posts at the fencing shop and when the total came up on the till I had to say that's not right. "Oh yes" said the seller "you've forgot to add the V.A.T."

Why can't they just have two prices next to the product so you can see the true cost for us non business people. The conning c**ts (I did that bit for you Roger)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 03 November, 2009, 10:21:05 am
I think by rights they should CF. The last few years that I worked in the Builders Merchant the legislaton got a lot tighter. All of our display prices had to show price excl. and inc. VAT. It wa quite a big deal, with head office regularly sending inspectors round.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 03 November, 2009, 10:22:18 am

Why can't they just have two prices next to the product so you can see the true cost for us non business people. The conning c**ts (I did that bit for you Roger) [/color]

At the very least the price should be marked as "Ex VAT" so that you can work out the full price yourself.

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 03 November, 2009, 11:15:29 am
I recently became the block manager of the building we live in as my predecessor resigned, having fired off an email tirade of abuse to one of the directors with sexist and offensive comments. So I have to get things in order now such as sorting out the lights in the car park which have not worked for about five months. The car park is pitch black and the only lighting is supplied by the moon. I get some money which helps and as I work from home I can do some of these tasks.

So this morning I was expecting a recommended sparky (after waiting weeks to get his details from my builder). Having been left in the lurch enough times by tradesmen I called 15 mins before he was meant to show up and he said he has to reschedule.

Now I just looked out of the window and I see the van of some Eastern European workers who can barely put together a few words of English (who are doing some work in one of the flats) and one of them is sweeping out litter and crap from his van into our carpark. As it is me who will have to clear it up I went and told this jerk to pick it up. If he hasn't I'll report him to the agency that employs them.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 03 November, 2009, 11:21:26 am
You need to organise your block and recruit some sort of Defence Unit to stop this sort of thing ;)

On the rest of the block stuff, better you than me SuperSurfer. I bet it will be a thankless job, good luck with it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 03 November, 2009, 11:34:08 am
Thanks CF, but at least I can make sure things get done and not just talked about.

It is like a block war at the moment regarding efforts to refurbish the communal areas. We had the third push to get this done in the last few years and some people always manage to keep throwing spanners in the works. What is a pain is that they are keeping down the price of our property and even more importantly all those in the block do not have a pleasant welcoming communal area. They don't understand that a relatively small contribution per flat will add value to each flat and will mean they can get better rents and their flats won't be empty for weeks while they struggle to find tenants. Tight landlords!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 03 November, 2009, 12:14:02 pm
Rather than deliver the actual item to my Mum, Royal Mail instead delivered a card saying the sender was 72p under the item's proper postage charge. Then, rather than take it to the local Post Office a mile away, it's now at the Sorting Office from where it has to be collected, meaning a round trip of nearly 20 miles. She can't drive.

And you want me to support your strike. Hmmmm....

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 03 November, 2009, 12:27:59 pm
It took me a couple of minutes to find my glasses this morning.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 03 November, 2009, 12:30:09 pm
I bet they were on your head.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 03 November, 2009, 12:49:23 pm
I think they ought to put the real (i.e. VAT inclusive) prices on everything.  Worked in a music shop for years, professional musicians found it a piece of pee to work out how much they were going to get back from the tax man.  My entire family are builders or in similar trades, they're at least as mathematically able as session bassists and guitar teachers.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 03 November, 2009, 01:12:15 pm
Trapped a nerve in my shoulder and it's causing me considerable amounts of pain in my left arm and hand.  My prescribed painkillers either have me flying or throwing up so I'm having to be very careful with what I take which means they don't fully get rid of the pain.

It's been a week now so back to Doctor and on to a Chiropractor or something I feel.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 05 November, 2009, 02:06:41 pm
Got an email that the magazine that accepted one of my short stories just went under.

On the one hand, it won't be in print (so if anyone knows where I can place a 14,000 word science fiction story about "earwigs" please let me know).

But on the other hand, they paid upon acceptance. So I got my money.

To be honest, I'd rather see it in print  :'(.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 05 November, 2009, 02:15:49 pm
Mmmmmm.  Get paid twice I say, although I'm not a legal bot so for goodness sake make sure you CAN resell it before you try. 

On the upside, if it got accepted by ONE publisher, it'll probably get accepted again.  Worst comes to the worst, you could always give it away if it means you'll see it in print - after all, you HAVE already been "paid".
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 05 November, 2009, 02:22:04 pm
Aye, sound advice Mike. Thanks.

I suppose I should inquire about publishing it elsewhere - I know I sold it for first time publishing rights, but as it won't be published by the magazine, I'm not sure where I stand.

Other writing annoyances of the day: finished my story for Kerrin's comp...and the bugger is 800 words long and strong...drokkin' 'ell, what a day!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 05 November, 2009, 04:31:43 pm
My minor impediment is my lack of facility with art programs (specifically illustrator and photoshop) which I'm struggling with to cobble together my art competition entry in snatched bits of time here and there for a while now.  It looks nice, but it's going to take a bloody age to finish as I've only recently discovered easy ways to do what I need. 

Yeah, I know there are tutorials here and elsewhere, but I'm rubbish at learning if I can't make tons of mistakes myself.  Now I've MADE some, my next entry will take a TINY amount of time by comparison.  So hurray!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 06 November, 2009, 04:41:15 pm
There seems to be an above average number of wet sundays which is a pisser because i want to do a boot fair.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 06 November, 2009, 04:45:03 pm
I don't think a fairground full of boots will entice anyone Peter!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 06 November, 2009, 10:44:12 pm
Work and personal email are both down, as is my company's online banking at the Co-op (since yesterday). The internet is shit, basically.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 08 November, 2009, 08:03:13 pm
Double points with Odeon loyalty card this week. Is there anything I want to see? Is there fuck. (Bright Star isn't on in MK).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 09 November, 2009, 12:29:46 pm
Work and personal email are both down, as is my company's online banking at the Co-op (since yesterday). The internet is shit, basically.

This summer I opened an online banking account with Tesco because I had a few hundred pounds spare and I wanted to get £20 worth of hotel vouchers for nothing. Well, the few hundred pounds wasn't spare for long and I urgently needed it back because once my year's teaching ran out and I was on the dole again I was soon at the limits of my overdraft.

However, there was a very complicated process involved in registering for online access involving my customer number, registration number, password and PIN. There was no telephone helpline for customers until they had requested a registration number by post, so I was stuck at that point and couldn't find my customer number, even though I knew my account number. With an awful lot on my plate (never-ending communication with the benefits agencies, summer of DIY, numerous job applications and interviews, 50-hour working week again as of September), it took me 5 months from opening the account to finally getting the online registration done. Even then it was only with the assistance of the nice people on the telephone helpline. In the same transaction I closed the account and had them send me a cheque for the balance on the grounds that it was more trouble than it was worth and the money was more use to me in my current account than in savings.

I got my £20 worth of hotel vouchers, but I also incurred £20 in unauthorized overdraft charges for my current account while I couldn't get my hands on the cash, so the benefits of banking with Tesco were cancelled out by the difficulty I had using the account.

Today I got a leaflet in the post outlining the 20-or-so steps involved in registering for online banking, which just confirmed me in my conviction that it was never worth the bother.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 09 November, 2009, 10:07:48 pm
Bah - my Bahrain gig has been put back six days which means I'm going to have to beg an extra day off work or miss out.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 10 November, 2009, 12:21:55 pm
I was speaking to a friend yesterday and because I was shopping he said he'd ring me in the evening, I said anytime will do as I'm off so will be in bed tomorrow.
The evening came and went, I stayed up through the night, to keep my body clock in order and went to bed this morning.
What does my friend do, he bloody rings me at 11:30.
THANKS MATE!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 10 November, 2009, 12:31:13 pm
Postman has just been and I've just realised that the Foo Fighters Greatest Hits CD still hasn't turned up.
I hate it when the gits put a few extra 'new' songs on just to entice you into buying it. Still it's a Christmas prezzie for the wife so I don't care.

Come on postie!!!!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 November, 2009, 03:05:24 pm
Apparently my brother told a teacher to "fuck off".
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 10 November, 2009, 04:46:19 pm
Oh Roger, he sounds like my kind of kid.  When I was five, I asked the teacher how to spell "fuck".  And other words too.  Yes, including that one. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 10 November, 2009, 11:45:59 pm
Apparently my brother told a teacher to "fuck off".
Wrong thread.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 11 November, 2009, 12:04:45 am
I did once as well or to be more exact i used a term of abuse beginning with A that comprises of two words preceded by "fucking".

This resulted in being caned 3 times but expulsion from the school was only just avoided.i also had to write a letter of apology to the teacher that i insulted.

 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 11 November, 2009, 01:57:45 am
Coming soon to a movie theatre near you: Sgt Rock ...

IN THE FUTURE.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 11 November, 2009, 08:26:30 am
Coming soon to a movie theatre near you: Sgt Rock ...

IN THE FUTURE.

Yep saw that over at CBR and it made me cringe. What are they thinking, no really what the hell are they thinking???? At this point a few more years development hell might be a good think for the Sgt. Rock movie.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 11 November, 2009, 09:05:14 pm
Fucking work van bastard broke down today. Took the AA nearly 1hr to get to us. Towed half way across Leicestershire to the Ford depot. Then had to wait half hour for a replacement van. Then had to finish days work as no fucker else could be bothered to help out. Home at 19:30 kids in bed. Cunt.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 12 November, 2009, 11:13:12 am
A client set an absolute deadline of today for their project being finished, so I switched priorities - to the detriment of other clients. Now, with what should be the final artwork finished, it turns out the client is away, and that it wasn't a real deadline anyway - they just said that as 'they wanted me to make a head start'. Gah!

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 12 November, 2009, 11:15:39 am
Arsehooles.

That's really effing selfish.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 12 November, 2009, 12:58:59 pm
No doubt many of you are wondering what became of the short story I mentioned in this thread ( ::)). The magazine did indeed own first publication rights and has chosen to exercise - unfortunately, not excorise - those rights; while this particular magazine has folded, the owners intend to launch a new edition "in a year or two" and publish the tale then. Yay.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 November, 2009, 02:02:08 am
The BT broadband tv ad couple.

They are just really irritating.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 13 November, 2009, 09:21:09 am
Windows.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 13 November, 2009, 11:17:26 am
Have you tried turning it off...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 November, 2009, 01:36:13 pm
Just now i clicked on a website that contained malicious malware or viruses that screwed with my browser and it was a complete pain to shut the window and clear my browser cache in an attempt to get rid of it.Thankfully i managed to do this because it was really starting to piss me off and that was just before i was going to get advice on it.

I am on a Mac so its doubtful that it has further infected my hard drive.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 13 November, 2009, 01:38:10 pm
Quote
Just now i clicked on a website that contained malicious malware or viruses


You know what we're all thinking, don't you..?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 November, 2009, 02:25:36 pm
Quote
Just now i clicked on a website that contained malicious malware or viruses


You know what we're all thinking, don't you..?

Heaven forbid that i should be up to something like that and if my mum found out she would kill me !

I dont actually know how i managed to get rid of it as it 2 restarts that did nothing and 1 force quit and it attempted to sabotage my toolbar and make it unresponsive so i couldnt click on "clear recent history" as it also made it impossible to close the window.

I got rid of the fucker in the end though.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 13 November, 2009, 02:30:09 pm
Quote
Heaven forbid that i should be up to something like that and if my mum found out she would kill me !

What's wrong with stamp collecting? That's what his lordship rac meant. Wasn't it?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 November, 2009, 05:01:17 pm
It's been such a busy week, and we make so little rubbish in our house, that we forgot to empty the bins this week and put the rubbish out. Good job we're vegetarian non-smokers, or there'd be quite a stink by the back door by next Friday.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 13 November, 2009, 07:05:30 pm
Tesco have run out of scotch bonnet chillis, Asda's are mouldy beyond belief and the "Eastern Foodstore" up the road's aren't far behind. I've managed to get the least worst chillis obtainable round here, but they still ain't great.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SamuelAWilkinson on 13 November, 2009, 07:10:13 pm
It's been such a busy week, and we make so little rubbish in our house, that we forgot to empty the bins this week and put the rubbish out. Good job we're vegetarian non-smokers, or there'd be quite a stink by the back door by next Friday.

You think that's bad; here in Leeds, the binmen have been on strike since July.

Yep, you read that right. I certainly support their demands, but that doesn't stop me considering buying some kind of nose filter for the walk to work.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 November, 2009, 07:20:36 pm
You think that's bad; here in Leeds, the binmen have been on strike since July.

Think I saw this on TV - they're the blokes who are being expected to take a £5,000 a year pay cut aren't they?

 :o
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 13 November, 2009, 07:29:22 pm
A ridiculous pay cut.  And if the whole thing goes on, hopefully the resident's anger will be directed at those responsible and not the bin men. 

It's a bit tough on you folks though. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 13 November, 2009, 07:34:17 pm
You think that's bad; here in Leeds, the binmen have been on strike since July.

Think I saw this on TV - they're the blokes who are being expected to take a £5,000 a year pay cut aren't they?

 :o

On Look North (our local BBC news) they were saying about one street that hadn't had a collection for 10 weeks. Leeds Council have got private contracters in for people wondering by the way. God knows how much money that's wasting!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 13 November, 2009, 07:35:46 pm
Money they could be paying people they already employ.  Disgusting, and not just the (presumed) smell.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 13 November, 2009, 07:39:32 pm
What a joke that council is!

The pay review is being carried out by Councils nationwide following a court ruling that thousands of women Council employees were underpaid for years.

Councils face bills of millions to put matters right and began reviews of pay structures. In Leeds the bill is around £3m.

In Leeds 45 per cent of the Council's 35,000 staff will not be affected, and 47 per cent will receive pay increase. But eight per cent - about 3,500 workers - face pay cuts.


So what we shall do to you workers is decrease your pay significantly so that you will lose your houses.
 I'm afraid we need to rise up and fight back people of Britain or we could all just sit back and watch X-Factor as that will make it everything okay. Cowell is part of the Governments policy to control the masses and make everyone a puppet.
Not me, I'm ready for the fight back, Who's with me?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 13 November, 2009, 07:45:23 pm
Tesco have run out of scotch bonnet chillis, Asda's are mouldy beyond belief and the "Eastern Foodstore" up the road's aren't far behind. I've managed to get the least worst chillis obtainable round here, but they still ain't great.

Grow your own Noisy! A friend of mine is a chilli growing maniac. There's a greenhouse full of untold varieties but he also grows them inside as pot plants, they're surprisingly cheerful plants to look at, he's even got them in his office.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 13 November, 2009, 08:07:20 pm
Yeah, I'll fight back with you CF.  If it isn't too difficult....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 13 November, 2009, 08:24:42 pm
Yeah, I'll fight back with you CF.  If it isn't too difficult....

I don't know if I'll be able to get up from this laptop and start the revolution just yet. Plus I've got to keep paying the mortgage for a couple more years, so once that's paid up the fight back will begin.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 13 November, 2009, 08:38:32 pm
Yeah.  Later.

Mmmmmmm.  Just had a cracking plate of mashed spuds with finely chopped spring onion and chives.  Made a little too much actually, but it was so good I left my sausages for a sandwich later when I'm hungry.  My minor impediment being my belly not being large enough for the mash, carrots AND sausage.  And that the security light in the back garden kept going off because of a bloody fox. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 13 November, 2009, 08:43:01 pm
I'm trying to find the thread about the latest Big Finish CD's but my search just can't find it. I wanted to post that the new CD arrived today and that I'm going to listen to it at work later.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 November, 2009, 10:46:27 pm
What a joke that council is!

The pay review is being carried out by Councils nationwide following a court ruling that thousands of women Council employees were underpaid for years.

Councils face bills of millions to put matters right and began reviews of pay structures. In Leeds the bill is around £3m.

In Leeds 45 per cent of the Council's 35,000 staff will not be affected, and 47 per cent will receive pay increase. But eight per cent - about 3,500 workers - face pay cuts.


So what we shall do to you workers is decrease your pay significantly so that you will lose your houses.
 I'm afraid we need to rise up and fight back people of Britain or we could all just sit back and watch X-Factor as that will make it everything okay. Cowell is part of the Governments policy to control the masses and make everyone a puppet.
Not me, I'm ready for the fight back, Who's with me?

I am but i have been in the fight for years already .

I dont want to start on all this here either.



Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 13 November, 2009, 11:32:56 pm
They gave me a gift card at work today for being flexible and a good worker in general, after I'd paid for my lunch. The real problem is that this is almost certainly the smoking gun which proves to my rampantly paranoid self that my employers are going to fire my ass just for fun.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Christov on 13 November, 2009, 11:37:09 pm
I had the most tasteless dinner ever. Might as well have eaten cardboard covered in sadness.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 14 November, 2009, 12:12:14 am
Thor isn't being shot on the field round the back of my house in Newport Pagnell.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 14 November, 2009, 12:17:38 am
Grow your own Noisy! A friend of mine is a chilli growing maniac. There's a greenhouse full of untold varieties but he also grows them inside as pot plants, they're surprisingly cheerful plants to look at, he's even got them in his office.

Ah, I've tried that twice. They get to about 3-4 inches, then go grey-mouldy and die. I don't think my flat's an ideal place for house plants - not enough light. Either that or I over-watered them (despite trying quite hard not to).

I'm managing to keep several cacti and a dragon fruit plant alive, but that's about my limit indoors.

My pepper-pot was quite tasty, though. Predictably enough, the GF didn't like it. It had vegetables and seasoning in...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 14 November, 2009, 12:31:54 am
Thor isn't being shot on the field round the back of my house in Newport Pagnell.

Ah man, I HATE it when that happens!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 14 November, 2009, 12:39:38 am
Victoria Coren will never be mine.  Curse cruel fate that I married too young (37).  Still, her hair mesmerises.  Let that be enough.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 14 November, 2009, 08:27:20 am
We just had a hailstorm that set off a car alarm. It sounded like mine, so I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes and a kagoule (or anorak if you prefer) and rushed outside in the hoofing down hailstones to sort it out. It wasn't my alarm. Typical.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 14 November, 2009, 08:37:20 am
I've been up since yesterday 13:00 and there is so much to do and enjoy today that I will be a wee bit tired tonight when I stay up till about 05:00 ish to keep my body clock correct.
Best I stay jabbering on here through the night while I watch films and finish of my unfinished story.
Sleep deprivation, I can't wait ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 14 November, 2009, 03:39:58 pm
Victoria Coren will never be mine.  Curse cruel fate that I married too young (37).  Still, her hair mesmerises.  Let that be enough.
You have my sympathy, TB.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 14 November, 2009, 03:49:58 pm
You have my sympathy, TB.

Cheers, Mike.  To be honest some of the sheen went off our putative relationship when her Dad passed away.  I had long imagined electric conversations at the Coren family poker table, while Victoria casually caressed my ankle with her stockinged foot... -sigh-.  Suppose I'll have to settle for true love instead, what a world.  
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 14 November, 2009, 04:27:47 pm
This morning I dropped a tattie scone on my Xbox controller and got butter all over it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 14 November, 2009, 04:34:42 pm
I went for a run, but it wasn't raining.  However, it was so windy that a blue recycling wheelie bin (that some fool hadn't taken in after it was emptied YESTERDAY MORNING) blew over just before I came to it.  Narrowly misssed being hit by it and nearly slipped on the wet leaves underfoot. 

Sigh.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 14 November, 2009, 05:22:29 pm
It's a warzone Mike, so you be careful out there!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 14 November, 2009, 05:33:46 pm
I am now ringing our favourite Chinese take away to put our order in and the phone is bloody engaged >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 14 November, 2009, 06:55:33 pm
i too slipped on wet leaves- and fell on my rucksack, and was stabbed in the back by scissors. ow.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 14 November, 2009, 07:57:30 pm
i too slipped on wet leaves- and fell on my rucksack, and was stabbed in the back by scissors. ow.

Are you ok SBT?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 14 November, 2009, 08:01:04 pm
yes thanks, only small scissors. it takes more than a small prick to make me scream. ahem. sbt
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 14 November, 2009, 08:18:52 pm
No decent images of Nemesis available online and those that are available are too small to be of any use.

I will just have to draw from memory instead as i cant be bothered to piss about anymore.Not in the best of moods right now either which doesnt help as i feel naffed off and a little bit aggressive.

And yes ANOTHER wet Sunday.4th in a row now and i have been wanting to do a car boot with a friend and sell of some tat so maybe next sunday or the one after that ?

Fuckshit

GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR.............
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 14 November, 2009, 10:09:02 pm
Have their been decent Nemesis covers? (The series was before my time) I'd guess there must have been though. Is there not a covers gallery around somewhere, on here or the much mentioned Barney? I don't know, it's not something I've ever looked for.

Probably not what you're looking for but just a thought.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 14 November, 2009, 10:11:33 pm
Many apologies for the double post but as soon as I hit post on the last one I realised that my idea was probably the first thing Peter tried.  Sorry if it sounded like I  was taking the piss Peter.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 14 November, 2009, 10:30:29 pm
No decent images of Nemesis available online and those that are available are too small to be of any use.
Have their been decent Nemesis covers?

Damn right there has!

(http://www.2000ad.org/covers/usreprints/hires/warlock1.jpg)

(http://www.2000ad.org/covers/usreprints/hires/warlock3.jpg)

(http://www.2000ad.org/covers/usreprints/hires/warlock4.jpg)

Now that was how to do reprints.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 14 November, 2009, 10:42:12 pm
Paul WS Anderson wants to do Metal Gear Solid: The Movie.

Fuck off Paul.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 November, 2009, 11:03:05 pm
I went to the theatre tonight and left my gloves on the back seat of the taxi.

We walked home, but there were no gloves to leave anywhere by that point.

The play was '6 Characters in Search of an Author.' Quite enjoyable. After all the time it's taken me to catch up with it I found that it wasn't actually necessary to see it - a read of the wikipedia entry will do - and it didn't seem all that relevant to today despite the company's superb efforts to make it so.

I think Pirandello was onto something clever and original when he wrote it, but the ideas in it have long since entered the mainstream.

There was an attractive and spunky blonde girl in it though and it wouldn't have stretched the imagination greatly to pretend she was Victoria Coren if it should please one to do so.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 14 November, 2009, 11:05:43 pm
Seriously, who the fuck actually wears gloves?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 14 November, 2009, 11:07:24 pm
WIMPS
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SamuelAWilkinson on 14 November, 2009, 11:13:37 pm
Seriously, who the fuck actually wears gloves?

Gentlemen of style and taste, dear Godpleton. Perhaps that's why you're not aware of the phenomenon.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 November, 2009, 11:22:54 pm
I will let you all imagine they were silk, suede or kid gloves to compliment my top hat and opera cape, and not merely padded winter thermal gloves from George at Asda.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 15 November, 2009, 09:11:19 am
Quote
and i have been wanting to do a car boot with a friend

Is this the Brighton version of doggng?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 November, 2009, 12:20:19 pm
Quote
and i have been wanting to do a car boot with a friend

Is this the Brighton version of doggng?

No.

A car boot sale involves selling secondhand junk unloaded from the back of a car and the Sunday Market is one of the most well known despite the fact its nowhere near as good as it used to be.Its still worth going to it as it has a high proportion of antiquey type stuff which makes it good for a bargain hunt so i usually go home with something plus its particularly good for secondhand records.

Hope this sorts out any confusion as spying on couples fucking in cars in out of town car parks at night isnt really my thing.




I dont
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 November, 2009, 12:38:33 pm
Have their been decent Nemesis covers? (The series was before my time) I'd guess there must have been though. Is there not a covers gallery around somewhere, on here or the much mentioned Barney? I don't know, it's not something I've ever looked for.

Probably not what you're looking for but just a thought.

I worked with the 3 covers posted by SS which helped a bit.

I didnt even think of your suggestion but i didnt bother looking because i didnt have the patience to trawl through all the covers.

I got an entry together that is pencilled and i am about to ink it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 15 November, 2009, 12:40:38 pm
My 1 year old boy has the skitters and just dumped a massive wet,runny,lumpy brown load in his nappy. As I went to get the stuff to clean him up he sat on the floor and it all squeezed out the side like stamping on a tube of toothpaste. Thank fuck we have wooden floors and not carpet.

Im still boaking at the thought.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 15 November, 2009, 12:54:54 pm
I will let you all imagine they were silk, suede or kid gloves to compliment my top hat and opera cape, and not merely padded winter thermal gloves from George at Asda.
You have just completely ruined the mental image I had constructed of you and your good lady stepping out of a Hansom at the theatre door, curtains having been held in anticipation of your arrival, the production to be followed by cocktails, dazzling repartee and dancing till dawn.

This qualifies as a minor impediment.
Seriously, who the fuck actually wears gloves?
I wear gloves when I'm on my bike. Or when it's cold as I have delicate, nimble little hands.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 15 November, 2009, 01:06:02 pm
Seriously, who the fuck actually wears gloves?
I wear gloves when I'm on my bike. Or when it's cold as I have delicate, nimble little hands.

Wearing gloves on a bike is okay for the protection but just for the cold weather, are you a footballer by chance my dear Cosh?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 15 November, 2009, 01:16:47 pm
Quote
I will let you all imagine they were silk, suede or kid gloves to compliment my top hat and opera cape,

Just a tip, HoU, but never go see Mask Of Zorro.  You'd be like a magnet for every Joe Chill/Nicholson Joker wannabe.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: worldshown on 15 November, 2009, 03:34:43 pm
I took advantage of today's relatively mild weather to spend half an hour down Cosmeston Lakes with my camera. After taking a few pictures of the swans and ducks, I chanced upon a few squirrels who obligingly let me get close enough to take photographs.

(http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb239/worldshown/squirrel1.jpg)

Then some idiot thought it would be funny to sic his dog on the squirrels.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 16 November, 2009, 11:00:07 am
I have, at last count :

1 Emergency Ambulance
1 Police Van
3 Police Cars
1 Helicopter
Shitloads of Coppers
4 Dogs    Not Police Dogs. Just dogs,

all doing whatever it is they are doing right outside the front window.(Except the helicopter of course, which is circling the street)  Bloody noisy, bloody annoying, and I'm bloody curious but don't want to be seen to be taking too close an interest for fear of inciting the ire of whichever chav neighbours has set it all off.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 November, 2009, 11:15:29 am
I hate stuff like that.  I'm sure the semi-regular night-time hellicopter circling that certain chav neighbours of MINE (the ones from Hallowe'en, attentive Gloady-ites) seem to attract is behind my recent bout of nightmares where I'm chased by a helicopter gunship through a burning house watching all my friends and family be burnt to death and shot into bloody chunks.

Not sure why I shared that.  Apart from sharing that nasty little nightmare with you in the hope it'll spread and be less likely to spend it's evenings at MY house.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 16 November, 2009, 11:20:34 am
How does the gunship get inside the burning house?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 November, 2009, 11:30:03 am
It tends to blow the roof off and bits of wall, causing the fire.  I'll be having a lovely dream with all my mates and family, living and dead, having a great time.  And then BANG the bloody roof comes off and it's death after horrible death.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 16 November, 2009, 11:55:49 am
I hate stuff like that.  I'm sure the semi-regular night-time hellicopter circling that certain chav neighbours of MINE (the ones from Hallowe'en, attentive Gloady-ites) seem to attract is behind my recent bout of nightmares where I'm chased by a helicopter gunship through a burning house watching all my friends and family be burnt to death and shot into bloody chunks.

Not sure why I shared that.  Apart from sharing that nasty little nightmare with you in the hope it'll spread and be less likely to spend it's evenings at MY house.

I don't like that - no more late night cheese sandwiches for you X
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 November, 2009, 11:58:20 am
Do you see?

DO YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENED NOW?

In trouble for snacking now.  *kicks petulantly at carpet* 'snot fair.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 16 November, 2009, 11:59:34 am
I can't CONTROL you, I don't want to change you - you're your own person. DO YOU SEE?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 16 November, 2009, 12:18:20 pm
Not sure why I shared that.  Apart from sharing that nasty little nightmare with you in the hope it'll spread and be less likely to spend it's evenings at MY house.

One of my English GCSE students, who is from Brazil, wrote an essay in which she imparts this top tip: if she has a nightmare she turns the pillow over so the bad dream stays on the other side of the pillow and she won't have the same dream again.

Isn't that sweet?  :)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 16 November, 2009, 12:20:16 pm
That is sweet. Incredibly sweet.

Refreshing to hear something so innocent. I'm smiling.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 16 November, 2009, 01:14:34 pm
had to buy rat pizen
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 November, 2009, 01:21:54 pm
A nightmare last night and NOW my IBS is playing up something chronic.  BAH! 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 November, 2009, 01:28:24 pm
I have got some patches of plaster to paint on the outside walls in the yard because there is a small window of dry weather [for once] so of course just as i want to do this the weird Twats who have moved out have come back to collect some stuff from the house next door and parked their cars right up against the wall i want to paint and if they dont get lost very quickly it means i will have to ask them to back the cars away from the wall so i can paint it which i dont want to have to do because i dont want to talk to them.

I thought that they had finally moved out late last week and that was it but now they are back again and i just wish they would fuck off permanently.Ugly wierd people they are.

And now they have locked up and gone off somewhere and left the cars where they are which means i have to paint round them.

Well fuck it i have a job to do and now is the only time to do it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 16 November, 2009, 02:53:51 pm
A nightmare last night and NOW my IBS is playing up something chronic.  BAH! 

Why not try a cheese sandwich? That should settle it...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 November, 2009, 02:55:53 pm
I dare not.  Wild will be angry.  *tremble*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 16 November, 2009, 03:23:11 pm
Anyone would think I was a terrible, aggresive monster! I'm not - am I?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 November, 2009, 04:54:46 pm
You're a hang-gliding cat.  That's not monstrous.  And I was only joking as you well know.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 16 November, 2009, 06:18:25 pm
The world of manipulation Mikey - welcome!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 16 November, 2009, 06:38:26 pm
had to buy rat pizen

I bought a mouse trap on Friday and the wee shit has managed to snaffle the grub twice without setting it off!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 16 November, 2009, 06:59:25 pm
My brother's computer is up the spout and I came home today to find that he'd quite obviously been on mine. Don't really mind that, but it's been mysteriously wiped clean - internet history, cookies, etc - all gone. Which leads me to suspect he was using it for pr0n. Yuk.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 November, 2009, 07:10:07 pm
Yuk.

Once saw a fella in the LIBRARY looking at really quite strong (and possibly illegal) porn.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 17 November, 2009, 03:51:24 pm
Once my friend insisted we spend 2 whole hours in Soho in his quest for porn and he ended up just buying Fiesta from a conventional corner shop. Twat.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: James Stacey on 17 November, 2009, 03:55:24 pm
I bought a mouse trap on Friday and the wee shit has managed to snaffle the grub twice without setting it off!
What bait are you using? Snickers (or Marathon as I insist on calling it) works really well. It's gooey and the little bastards can't steal it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 17 November, 2009, 04:08:26 pm
Multiple impediments today.

1. Almost forgot my wallet and phone as I left work and had to go back in the building to get them.

2. As I got on the bus to MK I realized I had a red tag from work in my pocket and I wasn't about to make a second trip back. (Don't worry, I won't get sacked, it's just a plastic tag and besides, they fucking love me at work).

3. When the bus arrived in MK I almost left the library book I was reading (PM me if you want to know what it was!!!) on the bus but the driver stopped me in time. Fortunately it wasn't the compendium of Queer Theory essays I also have on the go.

4. Whilst I was in MK I looked in the window at Gamestation and was taken aback by the range of Street Fighter 4 figures they had on display. I very nearly bought an Akuma figure before I came to my senses and I half a mind to get it next time I'm up there. I fear I may be sucked into the realm of buying plastic tat which would make me as lame as Tordelback.

5. An old-ish Canadian guy (I think he was Canadian, he talked very slowly) asked me for directions to a Day's Inn in Little Linford but I couldn't really help him so now he'll spend all night ambling around MK. He'll either freeze to death in Campbell Park or he'll be set upon by feral youths in Downs Barn and it's All. My. Fault.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 17 November, 2009, 04:08:34 pm
Had a great night driving down to Southampton the other night. It was pissing down on the way there and my offside headlight blew. Once I arrived and checked the trailer to bring back, the load was shot and then on the way back the wipers would only work on fast, BRILLIANT.
Lets just say I had a bit of a headache when I got back.


Still, I'm alive so mustn't grumble
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 17 November, 2009, 04:18:41 pm
Once saw a fella in the LIBRARY looking at really quite strong (and possibly illegal) porn.

Surprised he got away with that. Libraries round my way have pretty strict restrictions on their computers. And I mean strict. At one point I couldn't even log on to this place. I remember the first time I tried I got a restricted content warning and about 30 seconds later heard the assistants discussing "who was it?" , "I think it was Paul". Big Brother paranoia kicked in and I left not long after convinced they thought I was looking at porn.

It's not as bad as that now but it's still pretty strict. Though I'm in a new town now and the assistants don't know me by name so I'm alright on that score.

5. An old-ish Canadian guy (I think he was Canadian, he talked very slowly) asked me for directions to a Day's Inn in Little Linford but I couldn't really help him so now he'll spend all night ambling around MK. He'll either freeze to death in Campbell Park or he'll be set upon by feral youths in Downs Barn and it's All. My. Fault.

I fucking hate people asking me for directions and it seems to happen all the bloody time. The thing is, even when I've lived somewhere for years I don't tend to remember street names and things. I just know how to get from my house to various places I go to regularly. I don't need to know the names of the steets I walk down to get there. And absolutely no-one will believe you if you tell them you don't know the way to somewhere like a pub or a football ground or something like that but I don't drink so one pubs no different to another to me and I spent 15 years in a town without once having reason to walk past it's football ground and hence, while I knew it existed, I wouldn't have had a clue how to get to it. It also doesn't help that I don't drive so on the rare occasions that I do know the place they're looking for it's the foot route using back alleys and footpaths. Not a clue by road so drivers are bang out of luck. Thing is, I'm the one who feels a prick at the end of the conversation. Bane of my life.

Wow, bit of a rant there.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 17 November, 2009, 05:15:13 pm
Seemingly whenever I'm in Watford I'm asked for directions to the ground.  Football fans don't seem to understand that a person who lives near a ground (or in my case, happens to be in the town centre near one) may have no idea/interest (pick one, it's the same thing to me) where the bloody ground is. 

Whenever I've been asked directions to a pub, I've NEVER been asked for directions to a NICE pub.  It's always a dive known for figths and glassings.  Lovely. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 17 November, 2009, 05:41:00 pm
Can't be bothered to start "Life fills me with Inertia" so I'll dump NME's top 50 albums of the decade here.
Quote
1. The Strokes - Is This It
2. The Libertines - Up the Bracket
3. Primal Scream - xtrmntr
4. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell
6. PJ Harvey - Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea
7. Arcade Fire - Funeral
8. Interpol - Turn On the Bright Lights
9. The Streets - Original Pirate Material
10. Radiohead - In Rainbows
11. At The Drive In - Relationship of Command
12. LCD Soundsystem - The Sound of Silver
13. The Shins - Wincing the Night Away
14. Radiohead - Kid A
15. Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs for the Deaf
16. The Streets - A Grand Don't Come for Free
17. Sufjan Stevens - Illinoise
18. The White Stripes - Elephant
19. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells
20. Blur - Think Tank
21. The Coral - The Coral
22. Jay-Z - The Blueprint
23. Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future
24. The Libertines - The Libertines
25. Rapture - Echoes
26. Dizzee Rascal - Boy in Da Corner
27. Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
28. Johnny Cash - Man Comes Around
29. Super Furry Animals - Rings Around the World
30. Elbow - Asleep In the Back
31. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
32. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
33. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
34. Grandaddy - The Sophtware Slump
35. Babyshambles - Down in Albion
36. Spirtualized - Let It Come Down
37. The Knife - Silent Shout
38. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
39. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
40. Ryan Adams - Gold
41. Wild Beasts - Two Dancers
42. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
43. Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
44. Outkast - Loveboxxx/The Love Below
45. Avalanches - Since I Left You
46. Delgados - The Great Eastern
47. Brendan Benson - Lapalco
48. Walkmen - Bows and Arrows
49. Muse - Absolution
50. MIA - Arular

What a thoroughly boring list. I hope someone firebombs their offices (Hint hint! Xmas is coming!)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 17 November, 2009, 05:52:03 pm
im very pleased to say i own none of them. and havent bought an album in ten years! sbt
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 17 November, 2009, 05:55:35 pm
I own four.  I loathe nearly EVERY artist involved.  Must be officially old now. 

Of course, I never put any store by the NME so it's possible that I was BORN old. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 17 November, 2009, 06:04:29 pm
I bought a mouse trap on Friday and the wee shit has managed to snaffle the grub twice without setting it off!
What bait are you using? Snickers (or Marathon as I insist on calling it) works really well. It's gooey and the little bastards can't steal it.

In the end it was Beauty Fruit and Nut that killed the Beast.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 17 November, 2009, 06:36:31 pm
Quote
What a thoroughly boring list. I hope someone firebombs their offices (Hint hint! Xmas is coming!)

There's some good albums immersed in a sea of absolute gash, the NME can fudge RIGHT off
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 17 November, 2009, 06:42:23 pm
My missus owns four of them 10, 14, 27 & 49 and I own one 30. I bought it just for the one hit single and it only cost a fiver.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 17 November, 2009, 06:48:35 pm
I own 22 of the albums on the list, not sure what that says about me. I do still despise the NME though. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 17 November, 2009, 06:49:17 pm
I have 8!  Although I believe I only bought 2 of those, and stole the other 6 from the office network iTunes pool, and only have  2 on my MP3 player at the mo (the two I bought).  Does this mean I'm cool?  I mean, obviously not as cool as Gavin, and it goes without saying that I'm cooler than Mike, but I'm not sure that counts as actually 'cool'.  I need validation, and closure.

Honestly though, nothing by Sigur Ros?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 17 November, 2009, 06:51:10 pm
I own 5 of those albums in that list other than that i am just about done with lists like these and anyway the NME is a travesty compared to what it used to be and it doesnt have any credibility anymore and i stopped reading it when it changed form its newspaper serious format and mutated into the music scenes equivalent of Heat magazine.

No Coldplay though which is a good thing.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Minkyboy on 17 November, 2009, 06:53:17 pm
I own 5 of those albums in that list other than that i am just about done with lists like these and anyway the NME is a travesty compared to what it used to be and it doesnt have any credibility anymore and i stopped reading it when it changed form its newspaper serious format and mutated into the music scenes equivalent of Heat magazine.

Quick! Someone break out the emergency punctuation kit. Peter is crashing.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 17 November, 2009, 07:10:36 pm
I own 19 of them - and I still maintain that 'Is this it' is the most over-rated album EVER
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 17 November, 2009, 07:16:06 pm
My missus owns four of them 10, 14, 27 & 49 and I own one 30. I bought it just for the one hit single and it only cost a fiver.

My missus has just corrected me, she owns number 1 as well ::) she got it for £4 in a sale after one Christmas.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 17 November, 2009, 07:26:15 pm
Drilled through an electric cable today. Going to cost me £100. Bastard.








V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 17 November, 2009, 07:27:48 pm
I own 8 and the lack of numerous other ablums that clearly would be on any decent music papers list makes me vaguely ashamed to own even that many...where is that guilty pleasures list...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 17 November, 2009, 07:46:05 pm
My brother dropped nearly £300 of his firms money yesterday.  Happily he found it 15 minutes later.  Hole in his pocket.  But that's a minor impediment for me as it may have taken a week off his life-expectancy. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 17 November, 2009, 09:38:33 pm
Crikey! I'll bet he was relieved to find it
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 17 November, 2009, 09:46:03 pm
My brother dropped nearly £300 of his firms money yesterday.  Happily he found it 15 minutes later.  Hole in his pocket.  But that's a minor impediment for me as it may have taken a week off his life-expectancy. 

I lost that much cash once because i had a hole in my pocket and didnt realise it.This was somewhere between Green Park and Victoria.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 17 November, 2009, 10:29:12 pm
He was bricking it because his boss is also his best mate. Most people pay cash for skips. He was fortunate to have got it back, but the fear and worry were quite massive despite only lasting a short time. A few 20s were missing, but compared to how bad it might have been this news was almost welcome.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Christov on 18 November, 2009, 12:17:24 am
Bloody flu has left me stuck in bed for the last few days.

Lucky for me, I've got an array of Kubrick films to keep me happy. On the downside however, I am tripping my tits off on various medicines, making 2001 a much more... dramatic experience.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 18 November, 2009, 12:32:19 am
This surely needs a thread of its own! But...

I have four of the albums on that list. I claim no responsibility for The White Stripes CD, and Myths of the Near Future was only an eBay purchase, so cost next to nothing.

14. Radiohead - Kid A
18. The White Stripes - Elephant
23. Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future
38. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 18 November, 2009, 12:42:32 am
I've got fourteen of those albums and I'm proud of it. In fact, I'll check out some of the others in Spotify as that's where I get to find out about music nowadays and before that it was Last.fm. I am fed up with music radio and gave up on XFM many years ago.

Agree with comments about NME but I do often buy their albums of the year issue to see if there is anything good I missed out on throughout the year. That has introduced me to some gems such as Les Savy Fav. But having said that, last time I didn't discover anything.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 November, 2009, 01:11:52 am


[/quote]

Lets all list which of those we have then.....You dont have to but i am going to :

PJ Harvey - Stories From The .........

Yeah Yeah Yeahs -Fever To Tell

Blur - Think Tank

The Streets - Original Pirate Material

Spiritualised - Let It All Come Down

Avalanches - Since I Left You

Arcade Fire - Neon Bible

And thats yer lot.


Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 18 November, 2009, 01:16:09 am
1. The Strokes - Is This It
3. Primal Scream - xtrmntr
4. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell
10. Radiohead - In Rainbows
14. Radiohead - Kid A
15. Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs for the Deaf
18. The White Stripes - Elephant
19. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells
20. Blur - Think Tank
32. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
36. Spirtualized - Let It Come Down
38. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
45. Avalanches - Since I Left You

It won't go down as a classic music decade though. Can't say there is anything in the list that is really groundbreaking.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bouwel on 18 November, 2009, 09:10:26 am
Quote
Lets all list which of those we have then.....

I have nothing on that list. I'm guessing that says something about me. Possibly.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 18 November, 2009, 09:34:05 am
Here is my list for anyone that is interested:
2. The Libertines - Up the Bracket
4. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell
6. PJ Harvey - Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea
7. Arcade Fire - Funeral
8. Interpol - Turn On the Bright Lights
10. Radiohead - In Rainbows
12. LCD Soundsystem - The Sound of Silver
14. Radiohead - Kid A
15. Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs for the Deaf
17. Sufjan Stevens - Illinoise
20. Blur - Think Tank
24. The Libertines - The Libertines
28. Johnny Cash - Man Comes Around
30. Elbow - Asleep In the Back
31. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
32. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
33. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
38. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
39. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
42. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
45. Avalanches - Since I Left You
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 18 November, 2009, 10:27:10 am
I've got the QOTSA album.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: James Stacey on 18 November, 2009, 10:37:38 am
I was going to say I had none of them as it appears to be a hateful list, and gloat. Then I realised I actually do have the Johnny Cash one. Shit! It's all crap really and depends entirely on your taste surely.
Best album of the decade (for me) is The Cult - Beyond Good and Evil folllowed by Quireboys - This is Rock and Roll. Can't see NME printing that tho :D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 18 November, 2009, 11:52:36 am
Uh fun lists about music!

4. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
6. PJ Harvey - Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea
9. The Streets - Original Pirate Material
16. The Streets - A Grand Don't Come for Free
18. The White Stripes - Elephant
25. Rapture - Echoes
30. Elbow - Asleep In the Back
34. Grandaddy - The Sophtware Slump

There's a couple of others I probably should own notably the Spiritualized album and ANOTHER Johnny Cash record (actually if this is one of the American recording I do own it I just remember these by number not title) and I've always meant to check out Wilco as all the stuff I've heard by them I've enjoyed.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 November, 2009, 11:54:41 am
It's the fourth of the American Recordings.  The one with covers of Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus and Nine Inch Nails' Hurt.  Classic.  The rest?  Yawn.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 18 November, 2009, 02:14:02 pm
1. The Strokes - Is This It
2. The Libertines - Up the Bracket
4. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell
7. Arcade Fire - Funeral
8. Interpol - Turn On the Bright Lights
12. LCD Soundsystem - The Sound of Silver
15. Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs for the Deaf
18. The White Stripes - Elephant
19. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells
23. Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future
24. The Libertines - The Libertines
32. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
33. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
34. Grandaddy - The Sophtware Slump
38. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
39. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
40. Ryan Adams - Gold
47. Brendan Benson - Lapalco
49. Muse - Absolution

That's my collection, I'm not that sure about some of them...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 18 November, 2009, 03:24:22 pm
I've just found out that in the same four week period that the housing association is fitting an entire new bathroom and kitchen in our flat, our wonderful subsidised restaurant at work is being refurbished too, so no hot lunches OR dinners.

The flat improvements were the bribe offered if we all voted to be transferred from council-run housing to HA. I voted no, but the refurbs and the avalanche of biased publicity meant the yes camp won. I expect rapid rent increases after 2012.

The food at work by the way is lovely - today I had poached smoked haddock with wilted spinach on a toasted muffin, with sautéed potatoes & onions and cauliflower cheese, all for £2.90. Tomorrow is 'roast day' - beef this week with Yorkshire pud and all the trimmings. yum! Six years of working there has made me fat, but I don't care!

December 09 is going to be the Month of the Sandwich. *sigh*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 18 November, 2009, 03:26:08 pm
Quote
today I had poached smoked haddock with wilted spinach on a toasted muffin, with sautéed potatoes & onions and cauliflower cheese

*wipes drool away from corner of mouth* Stop it you....you....you PERVERT!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 November, 2009, 05:24:57 pm
??Regarding the above list the majority of those albums i havent even heard and even the artists that were massively hyped like Arctic Monkeys,White Stripes,and The Libertines i have only ever heard one track from each of them.I have never heard anything by any of the other artists listed and without being dismissive i couldnt care less if i never hear anything by them because i am just not interested.It just goes over my head.I only heard a White Stripes track because it was played a couple of times in a club.

As far as i am concerned the last decade that the list covers is the worst decade for music i have lived through and i consider myself to be a music lover.I was blown away by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs because they seem genuine and look like they mean it and its just dirty sounding Rock N Roll music.

I only really listen to back catalogue and i am constantly buying secondhand vinyl.For example yesterday i bought a Bad Company album [self titled album  contains Cant Get Enough] and Gary Moore - Back On The Streets.

I live in a bubble and i create my own reality.By that i mean being out of touch with popular culture.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 18 November, 2009, 06:58:55 pm
Quote
By that i mean being out of touch with popular culture.

Peter man, you're in your thirties.  Your 'popular culture' happened 20 years ago.  There's no shame in it.

I scroll through my MP3 player.  With the exception of movie soundtracks, a bit of wigger stuff I quite enjoy for its self-important silliness (Eminem, Streets etc.), some world music, and a lot of Rubin-era Johnny Cash, there's basically nothing on there from after 1991 - the year I turned 20.   
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 18 November, 2009, 07:33:28 pm
I hope thats an exaggeration and you haven't missed the work of Tom Waits over the last 18 years - he's produced some of his best work!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 18 November, 2009, 08:35:33 pm
I hope thats an exaggeration and you haven't missed the work of Tom Waits over the last 18 years - he's produced some of his best work!

Ah, point.  I did skip over the Waits section (10 albums on the MP3), probably because I always think of my introduction to him ca. 1990 as coming to an artist already fully formed, even though my favourite album (Bone Machine) didn't come out 'til 1992.  Ditto some of Leonard Cohen's later stuff - The Future, for example, also 1992.  So basically I'm talking shite when it comes to artists who had already won my heart by the time I was 20.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 18 November, 2009, 10:11:52 pm
As far as I'm concerned the best music was in the late sixties and early 70s. There was tons of dodgy popular music back then, but the better stuff was groundbreaking. I don't like 80s music though I did at the time. I have no time for it and I'm not at all nostalgic about it at all.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 November, 2009, 10:46:56 pm
I'm pretty broad in my music from 50s to current, with 70s and 90s being the probable front running decades. This past decade has tailed off pretty strong for me. What i HAVE enjoyed hasn't troubled the charts that much. Must be getting old.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 18 November, 2009, 11:16:30 pm
I would advise people to peruse through Wire's top 50 albums as there will inevitably be something you haven't heard in there.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 19 November, 2009, 12:06:50 am
Surprised to find I only have about a dozen of these. Even more surprised to see XTRMNTR as high up as number 3 as, personally, I'd rate that the best album on the list. Although not the best of the decade.
Honestly though, nothing by Sigur Ros?
That made me think. Then I checked and Agaetis Bryjun came out in 1999! Three years before Is This It, which I would've sworn was years older. Surprised Takk didn't make it. Incidentally, Is This It and White Blood Cells are probably the last albums I borrowed from a mate and taped. Neither fits onto one side of a C90. Think I might start writing a blog about my life through the medium of cassette tapes.
It won't go down as a classic music decade though. Can't say there is anything in the list that is really groundbreaking.
Of course, those two sentences have no real connection... I don't think it's been a bad few years for music. Like most people, the stuff I liked when I was a teenager will always hold a special place in my heart but I do still get out and listen to a lot of stuff. Since I was in my early twenties, I've found my interest flagging every few years but, so far, there's always been something that's come along and blown the cobwebs away. Most recently it was Fuck Buttons, whose gleeful mixture of techno and noise would make a corpse dance.

I always found the NME too mainstream anyway. Bring back Melody Maker (two letters printed, Buttonman.)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 19 November, 2009, 12:10:08 am
I would advise people to peruse through Wire's top 50 albums as there will inevitably be something you haven't heard in there.
Cheers Roger. I couldn't find that(if it exists) but they gave me a free download of a track from the new Ben Frost album which is something I've been looking forward to.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 19 November, 2009, 12:29:25 am
Quote
I always found the NME too mainstream anyway. Bring back Melody Maker (two letters printed, Buttonman.)

When I started reading MM in 2000 (shortly before it was cancelled) it was well shit. They put Limp Bizkit on the cover and gave the album like 4 stars.

Oh, and I meant the Wire's annual top 50 list.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 19 November, 2009, 12:36:22 am
When I started reading MM in 2000 (shortly before it was cancelled) it was well shit. They put Limp Bizkit on the cover and gave the album like 4 stars.

Oh, and I meant the Wire's annual top 50 list.
Well, I haven't bought a music paper since 1995 or thereabouts. Didn't it go all glossy like Kerrang towards the end? It was shit then.

I will check it out.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 19 November, 2009, 08:43:04 am
Today's impediment is a crick in the neck that's lasted three or four days. Particularly bad this morning. Getting out of bed was a nightmare. Ow.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 19 November, 2009, 10:28:13 am
I have no such cricks. But I do have a particularly bad hangover. The silly season is officially upon us. Well, me, anyway.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 19 November, 2009, 04:43:14 pm
That shouldn't be an impediment fester - just a reason to drink more to kill the hangover. Silly season, indeed.

Indeed... ;D.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 19 November, 2009, 09:06:14 pm
... Because family bloody commitments means that I'm highly unlikely to make it to Thought Bubble this weekend.

At least I know about it in advance this time, I suppose.

*Deep Sigh*

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 19 November, 2009, 09:53:10 pm
Drilled through an electric cable today. Going to cost me £100. Bastard.



It cost me £130 smackers in total and apparently I just shaved a gas pipe as well. How lucky. Fucking old houses.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 19 November, 2009, 10:29:26 pm
Went to the shop, selected goods, went to till, no wallet, put goods back, left shop, tripped over dog.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 19 November, 2009, 10:47:10 pm
Double bah!  My Bahrain gig now moved back to January.

Actually this is pretty good because it means I don't have to use up the last of my annual leave from work

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: James Stacey on 19 November, 2009, 10:51:26 pm
Went to the shop, selected goods, went to till, no wallet, put goods back, left shop, tripped over dog.
Your misfortune did have the redeeming feature of making me laugh out loud. Every cloud and all that  :P
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 19 November, 2009, 11:00:21 pm
Went to the shop, selected goods, went to till, no wallet, put goods back, left shop, tripped over dog.

This is clearly a health and safety matter.

There should be a clearly designated area in which to leave Dogs lying on the floor that is a minimum of 8.5 feet away from the entrance.It should also be within a safe distance from moving cars and parking spaces.

Clear signposting and notices need to be in place as well and they should also be multilingual.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Christov on 20 November, 2009, 01:29:39 am
My sleeping pattern has descended into utter chaos.

I sleep during the day, I'm awake all night, I'm tremendously ill, and ... urgh.

Blast, bah, and buggeration.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Nap Normal on 20 November, 2009, 06:12:20 am
I've discovered that my ears for no apparent reason have decided to start sprouting hairs... Noooooooo!!! And on top of this awful awful discovery I've put my back out playing tennis. So I'm now walking around bent double with hairy ears. On the bright side the Mrs has given me a couple of days off from the washing up...Woohoo!!! I did ask her If she could be with someone who suffers from hairy ears she said "yes dear of course I will still love you" but she did seem to be packing up all her belongings when she said this!!!I bet she going to leave me for one of these smooth hairless eared guys who can stand up straight with out shouting "arrghh my Bast*rd back" :'(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 20 November, 2009, 07:46:59 am
Christov man, you have it bad.  But face it, your woes pale in comparison to Mr. Normal... hairy ears, feck!

The thing that annoys me about Early Onset Aural Hirsuitism is how much it hurts to pluck the buggers, leaving one with trimming as the handiest option, and thus daft ear stubble.  And no, while I am liberally covered with hair from crown to toe, face included, hairy ears are the one thing I will not stand for.  Not in my 30's, anyway.  A line must be drawn - this far, and no further.  For now.

I wonder is there a lady product that might help?  Or a lighter?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 20 November, 2009, 02:54:47 pm
Neck still bloody knackered.  BAH!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 20 November, 2009, 03:23:21 pm
Still got this horrible, horrible cough after two bloody weeks now. Feeling doubly rundown because I'm not really sleeping as a result.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 20 November, 2009, 07:34:06 pm
I've got a sore arm with a big red lump on it from my swine flu jab yesterday and because I'm special I have to go back and have another in 3 weeks time - WIN! as I believe the youth say
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 20 November, 2009, 07:48:33 pm
No hang-gliding for a day or two, eh?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 20 November, 2009, 08:22:41 pm
Or deep sea diving  :(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 20 November, 2009, 08:31:53 pm
Had a call for a survey earlier from 'Mike' and I said how long will it take. He said 2 mins and I said okay (mistake). 6 minutes later I said how much longer and he said not long. When we got to 11 minutes I said enough is enough mate and said I'm hanging up. He just kept repeating the next question until I did hang up.
I went to back to doing what I was doing, relaxing. Less than 1 minute later he rang back and said we haven't finished to which I replied well I have and hung up again.
Now I don't mind doing a phone survey but when I am told it'll take 2 minutes and I'm still on nearly 10 minutes after that I get angry I don't like being lied to especially when it wastes my valuable relaxing time.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 20 November, 2009, 08:39:47 pm
My sleeping pattern has descended into utter chaos.

I sleep during the day, I'm awake all night, I'm tremendously ill, and ... urgh.

Blast, bah, and buggeration.

I am having the exact same problem.

Because i am temporarily unemployed i have already lapsed into being semi nocturnal by going to bed in the very early hours and its very difficult not to because i am naturally nocturnal but tonight i am going to make an effort to try and go to sleep a bit earlier.

*

I had a spam call just now about claiming compensation or writing off credit card bills .That kind of thing.When i picked up and heard what it was i clicked the receiver down to cut them off but i couldnt get rid of the call because when i picked up again the automated spam call was still going.I tried another half a dozen times and i was forced to wait for the call to end before i got a dialling tone again.

This is a bit of a liberty because i didnt ask them to call and secondly when i hang up on a call i expect to get a dialing tone immediately.

I find this to be invasive and persistant in the extreme.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 20 November, 2009, 11:05:09 pm
Christov man, you have it bad.  But face it, your woes pale in comparison to Mr. Normal... hairy ears, feck!

The thing that annoys me about Early Onset Aural Hirsuitism is how much it hurts to pluck the buggers, leaving one with trimming as the handiest option, and thus daft ear stubble.  And no, while I am liberally covered with hair from crown to toe, face included, hairy ears are the one thing I will not stand for.  Not in my 30's, anyway.  A line must be drawn - this far, and no further.  For now.

I wonder is there a lady product that might help?  Or a lighter?

I'm actually thinking of asking for one of those nose/ear clipper things for Christmas -  and I never thought that would come to pass!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 20 November, 2009, 11:08:41 pm
That's what wanking non-stop for 30 years will do.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 21 November, 2009, 03:28:05 am
Whenever i go to the shops and the Deli along the road at lunchtimes they are always packed out with bloody Brighton college kids buying filled baguettes and rolls for lunch.This is a pain and i wish they would all just piss off and eat school dinners or packed lunches on the college premises instead.

That Belgian pinched faced BuildABurger dickhead who has been declared as EU president is annoying as well.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 21 November, 2009, 12:59:37 pm
I hurt my right thumb last night which means no Xbox for a few nights. For some reason the Mrs sees this as a plus.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 21 November, 2009, 09:15:07 pm
I've just spent ages looking for my list of Foundry Workshop figures that I need, as when I bought the first bunch of packs way back in 2004 they sent me an invoice which I kept. This tells me how many packs I bought that time and saves me checking each bloody figure off their website so I can order the rest for Christmas, now they are reduced.
Would you credit it, the list was in the draw of unopened figures ::)

Anyway I now have to order packs 5 to 9 at a total of £120 compared to £200, not bad at all.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 22 November, 2009, 01:47:16 am
What a night ::)

Sam has been ill sice Friday evening and we went to the doctors with him and he prescribed something (the missus knows what), we then went and got it before the chemists shut.
Today he layed on the settee all day and slept most of it and when we took him to bed I made his futon part of his bunk bed up for him and placed a bucket by his head. About twelve'ish these twats woke me up outside yapping (I'd been coughing all night as well) so I decided to get up and watch some stuff.
Less than five minutes later I heard Sam coughing hard, so I went to see if he was okay. As soon as I stood on the bottom stair I smelt the sick, (great) thank God I made the futon up.
About 40 mins later everything was cleaned up and he's sleeping on my side of our bed which means I will have to squeeze in next to him about 05:30 when I go back to bed.
I must admit the wife did all the cleaning up while I just watched coughing but I gave her support!
He seems a lot better now as I think the bug came out with the vomit (that's my medical opinion anyway).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 22 November, 2009, 09:06:36 am
Sophie was vomiting through Friday night/ Saturday morning and then was right as rain, go figure?
Must be something going around.
That gave me a long day yesterday as I didn't get home until 8 last night from work.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Christov on 22 November, 2009, 09:50:25 am
The spoils of my eBay victory won't be leaving Hong Kong until tomorrow, even though it's been at their bloody post office for 5 days already.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 22 November, 2009, 12:26:46 pm
I had a meeting last week to discuss my new job. On the positive side, the salary, pension, perks and promotion prospects are all excellent. Very nice working environment, only 15 miles from home, flexible working hours and great employees' facilities on site.

On the negative side, for the first year it's a project I suspect no-one else wanted to do, and they still haven't made me a firm offer regarding salary. They're still having to mull over which end of the £2,000-wide pay band to offer me, for a graduate post, when I've had 5 years' postgrad training, 3 postgrad qualifications and 6 years' employment in areas substantially related to the one I'm to be employed in.

It's all very well to be given the sales pitch that the salary isn't everything because the pension contributions and job security are great, but if I were to accept £2,000 less than the top of the pay band I'd be down £50,000 over the remainder of my working life, and the pension contributions which go with that.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 22 November, 2009, 01:29:43 pm
As I've recently discovered while dealing with the grievances of people leaving our company involuntarily (i.e. being made redundant), company pension scheme contributions aren't worth snot unless you're actually planning on (or absolutely certain of) retiring from that company.  In this jurisdication anyway.

Pension Companies are fast climbing my personal Racket league table of state-mandated thieves, alongside perennial fave Insurance Companies.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 22 November, 2009, 01:42:59 pm
I've just found out that in the same four week period that the housing association is fitting an entire new bathroom and kitchen in our flat, our wonderful subsidised restaurant at work is being refurbished too, so no hot lunches OR dinners.

the good news is that the work in the flat has been out off till after Christmas. The bad news is it's because there may be asbestos present (despite the fact that they already checked for this once). They're due to come back to check more thoroughly in a couple of weeks - if any is detected, grud knows what that'll mean disruption-wise.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 22 November, 2009, 01:48:48 pm
When I'm being told "don't worry about only being paid x because you'll get great pension contributions on top of that," my response is "yes, but not only is x + £2,000 more than x, but the pension contributions on top of x + £2,000 are going to be that much greater."

The bottom line - my salary - is my main concern, and any pension benefits don't compensate for low salary so much as they enhance higher salary.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 22 November, 2009, 04:47:30 pm
...because, at about eleven o'clock last night I started to feel a bit crappy. At 11.30 I was projectile vomming down my bog- and this didn't stop until 5.30 this morning! My insides are now strained to absolute hell, and I was left dry-retching for two hours as my stomach turned over and over. I now have a splitting headache, every muscle aches from straining and I have only just now managed to hold down a piece of dry toast and some electrolyte powder. If that stays down I may try for a cup of tea at six.

As a result, I've had to take today, tonight and tomorrow morning off work- which I can't afford to do. So some of those "bargains" I found last night on the Net for te kids for xmas will have to be forgotten.

I am very pissed off.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 November, 2009, 07:28:16 pm
I have two days off work. I also have the squirts.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 22 November, 2009, 07:31:26 pm
I think the forum has given us all a virus as I'm sat here with a Beechams. After last nights fiasco with Sam I seem to have been infected as my head is throbbing and I keep coughing. Best of all when I went to bed this morning I had the shivers and I was under 3 quilts in the end, now that was shit >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: worldshown on 22 November, 2009, 07:46:23 pm
Whilst Jermaine Defoewas serving three match ban, I swopped him for Darren Bent in my fantasy league team. I didn't realise he was back this week so I didn't swop back. He's just scored five against Wigan.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 November, 2009, 07:47:05 pm
I stubbed my toe.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 22 November, 2009, 07:59:55 pm
Bum gravy is a distinct possibility in my near future....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 22 November, 2009, 10:20:02 pm
There's a "Best of Snow Patrol" out.  It's 2 discs.

1. They've been around for five mintes.
2. TWO discs?  What, one track per disc?

The record buying public really depress me sometimes.  If ever a band deserved to be a one hit wonder it's .... Coldplay.  But Snow Patrol are in secnd place.  Awful.  Put me in a grumpy mood now....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: M.I.K. on 22 November, 2009, 10:43:29 pm
There's a "Best of Snow Patrol" out.  It's 2 discs.

1. They've been around for five mintes.
2. TWO discs?  What, one track per disc?

The record buying public really depress me sometimes.  If ever a band deserved to be a one hit wonder it's .... Coldplay.  But Snow Patrol are in secnd place.  Awful.  Put me in a grumpy mood now....

They've actually been around since the mid-nineties but were only signed to a major record label in 2003. I only know this 'cos I read up on them when doing this...

http://malcolmkirk.deviantart.com/art/Snow-Patrol-Comic-Strip-135453606
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 22 November, 2009, 10:43:47 pm
Just checked for you Mike and it's 15 tracks per disc, lucky you!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 22 November, 2009, 10:45:49 pm
They've been around for 15 years, each one of them producing aural torture or the soundtrack to ovulating 30-something's wedding dances - I guess it depends on how you look at it
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 22 November, 2009, 11:07:40 pm
I dont get snow Patrol either as i just find them dreary.

They were signed to Fiction Records which was the Cures record label.At the time they were signed i knew Chris Parry [really just an aquaintence]who was the owner of Fiction records and they were signed just to make money as they were riding on the wave of all that Coldplay rubbish that was popular at the time.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 22 November, 2009, 11:33:50 pm
There's a "Best of Snow Patrol" out.  It's 2 discs.

1. They've been around for five mintes.
2. TWO discs?  What, one track per disc?

The record buying public really depress me sometimes.  If ever a band deserved to be a one hit wonder it's .... Coldplay.  But Snow Patrol are in secnd place.  Awful.  Put me in a grumpy mood now....

I thought I liked 'em based on the duet "set the fire to the third bar" which was all over the telly a couple of years ago, so I bought the album.

Turns out it's Martha Wainwright I like!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 22 November, 2009, 11:57:48 pm
They've actually been around since the mid-nineties but were only signed to a major record label in 2003. I only know this 'cos I read up on them when doing this...

http://malcolmkirk.deviantart.com/art/Snow-Patrol-Comic-Strip-135453606
Yeah. You couldn't go to a gig in Glasgow between 1996 and 2002 without the tedious fuckers appearing on the bill somewhere.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 23 November, 2009, 09:06:46 am
I get 2 days off work and yesterday I have been feeling shit, headache nausea and shitting water. Went to bed about 7 last night and this morning I am still feeling shit but at least I can fart now without following through.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 24 November, 2009, 07:45:39 am
I thought I liked 'em based on the duet "set the fire to the third bar" which was all over the telly a couple of years ago, so I bought the album.

Turns out it's Martha Wainwright I like!

It just shows how great Martha Wainwright is that she made that song, not only bearable, but honestly, quit enjoyable.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 24 November, 2009, 07:49:51 am
Managed to get through a nights work feeling okay and now that I'm home I feel shit again. Pass me that Beechams :(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 24 November, 2009, 08:47:16 am
Gah!  You poor beggar!  Get well soon mate.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 25 November, 2009, 03:07:57 am
Goddamnit.  Sprog appears to be finally sleeping for long stretches, miracle of miracles, and I can't get to sleep myself.  Whiskey it is, then.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 25 November, 2009, 12:17:08 pm
My dad used to put whiskey in my bottle to get me off to sleep.  Without it I'd average 1 hour of sleep per 24 and spend the other 23 crying for no reason.  It was that or my mum had another nervous breakdown....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 25 November, 2009, 09:51:42 pm
The bath mat moved as I got into the shower this morning causing me to clatter my leg hard against the side of the bath. I now have an enourmous blue bruise which hurts like mad. Fudging bath mat  >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 25 November, 2009, 10:45:38 pm
I'm now 6 Progs behind.  ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 26 November, 2009, 08:44:54 pm
My mum's best mate popped round to see how I was.  Once inside and tea in hands, she burst into tears for ages.  Two hours pretty much.  I'm still in bits myself as she died at the beginning of October.  But of course, me being me, I had to be strong and gee her up (she's done lots for me and the family in general over the years).  Her visit was prompted by sorting through stuff in her spare room.  Several months back she'd picked up a fistfull of DVDs she'd lent my mum to watch from her bed.  Upon opening the bag, she found a card from my mum telling her not to worry and she'd miss her.  This must have been a good long while before she became seriously ill.  Upon seeing that, I burst into tears myself. 

Spoke to the doctor the other day about my memory.  Apparently this is "to be expected" given how shite my life is right now and my underlying depression (three years and counting - whoop!).  I've taken to carrying a little notebook with me everywhere like my old dad did towards the end - this helps to knock the memory problems on the head somewhat. 

My phone is so small and slim (recent upgrade, first in four years) that I can no longer find it.  And none of it's beeps are as loud as my poor ears require.  Stupid bloody technology, I don't care if idiots have deafened themselves - MAKE IT LOUDER!  Grrrrr.

Enough minor impediments I think to qualify as spuggage actually.  On the upside my missus posted a wicked entry in the short story competition here which seems to have gone down well - and she's got an even BETTER idea to come.  And she's being lovely.  So not all bad.  Hence impediments, not spugs.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 26 November, 2009, 09:58:43 pm
Keep your chin up, our lad, you're pointing in the right direction - only way through any kind of depression is to keep going forward, one foot after the other.  Anyway, if you don't keep your head up you're liable to be brained by that hang-gliding kitten. 

(I've had to do the notebook thing for several years now, and I've not got anything resembling your excuse).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 26 November, 2009, 10:42:10 pm
What can I say, Mike? That was a very moving story. In November two years ago my mum went through what you're going through now and it was terribly hard for her. I started scanning 60 years of my grandmother's photographs as a family archive for fear of the collection being broken up, but two years later I'm hardly any further on with it and the original pictures are with four different family members.

I too am going to have to start carrying a small notebook around with me - although by the time I do I may not need it so much, as I'll not be teaching much longer, and most of my forgetfulness, missed deadlines and broken promises arise from sleep deprivation and my teaching duties (requests for paperwork from mangers and admin, and requests from students: will you read this for me, will you make another copy of that thing you brought in 3 weeks ago when I wasn't there, will you mark that homework I handed in the week before that?).

Another thing that's come out of my teaching practice is, through having to teach stuff about atypical psychology and therapeutic techniques, I've learnt a lot myself. I want to start keeping a log of my moods, diet, activities and morose thoughts. Partly because it's narcissistic to do so, and that's always favourite with me, but also because if I can plot this on a graph or spreadsheet it'll help me see the negative bias in my thinking and give me a more realistic idea of the ratio of 'good' days to 'bad' days.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 26 November, 2009, 10:46:20 pm
Oh, and having got back to minor impediments, I had to take two buses today because I was travelling by train to and from the station, and not by car. On the bus I noticed a sign which read "please do not open this window - it interferes with the atmospheric controls" - in other words, just sit tight and put up with it being warm and stuffy.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 26 November, 2009, 10:48:06 pm
I would classify a window as an atmospheric control. Or it's your fault Weather Control's still fucked thirty years after the Apocalypse War.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Trout on 26 November, 2009, 10:50:09 pm
Next time SMASH ALL THE WINDOWS!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 26 November, 2009, 10:54:48 pm
I recall a time I was working in a hot, stuffy computer suite in June at Cardiff University and I opened a window and I got verbally rebuked by the stoney-faced, matronly lady who was on monitor duty: "don't open the windows - you'll interfere with the air conditioning," to which I replied "well, I wish somebody would."
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 26 November, 2009, 11:01:31 pm
Not having adequate ventilation in a bus or whatever is a health hazard .

I took a bus 2 years ago in the winter that was dripping with condensation with no ventilation and i caught a horrendous virus.It was during the kind of weather we are having at present.Its what you do if your car is steamed up inside.

How do you get rid of condensation ?

Open a window.

Stupid fucking morons.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 26 November, 2009, 11:04:32 pm
The old people and the chav yobs in hoodies complain if you open a window. Even in July.


I did open the ceiling vents on a National Express bus last month on which the air circulation had broken down. People were quite relieved and grateful then. No old people or chav hoodies among the passengers though, you see.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 26 November, 2009, 11:13:02 pm
You can never win as common sense doesnt prevail.

People are a liability and a pain and the less time i spend in their presence the happier i am.

The bus trip i talked about put me off bus travel in winter permanently and as it was only within the locality of Brighton i would rather cycle instead as its healthier and cheaper.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 26 November, 2009, 11:24:07 pm
I had to go on a fool's errand today. By train. A 4-hour journey each way for a 2-hour meeting to discuss setting and marking GCSE research-based coursework, when I'm leaving my job before Christmas and I'm not even going to be setting and marking the coursework this year. Oh well. Somebody had to be there to keep the exam board happy.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Devons Daddy on 27 November, 2009, 07:58:59 am
minor impendiments

we had our steam shower room delivered, the brochure said 146cm wide, 200 cm long. the box said 146&200cm the email said 146&200cm.

but they all forgot to mention you need 156 and 210 cm to actually install it!
now they offering us a different model and will only deliver next week.

the really annoying thing is, we built in a Jacuzzi first, if they had told us we have built it after they installed, and it would have fit!
(yeh this will go under life is drokkin fantastic next week i admit it.)


Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 27 November, 2009, 10:59:54 am
Gosh, DD - life's hard...(!)

;-)

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: James Stacey on 27 November, 2009, 11:13:32 am
DD gets less sympathy than the other impediments  ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 27 November, 2009, 08:12:47 pm
I got the missus to get me the Terminator Salvation Blu-ray today (I like explosions, what can I say) anyway I thought I'd check it out before I watch it tomorrow. Could I get it to play, could I fuck. I then noticed a card in the box which says 'To ensure the best possible viewing experience, your Blu-ray disc player may need a firmware or software update. Blah, blah, blah'. The machine is only less than 3 months old and was one of the latest models in the shop where I bought it!!!! So already it's out of date ::)

What a carry on, I connected to the net and it took a couple of attempts to sort it out but Jesus Christ on a bike what's all this about. Once the info was downloaded the machine then said 'Do you want to upgrade now?' What, so it thinks I farted about doing all that to not upgrade, YES....


I can see a lot of bods on Christmas morning being in for a shock with this disc. Had no trouble with my other few discs or the one I had arrive for the missus today as she's been watching Take That at Wembley, to see if she and her mates are visible. Why can't life be simple!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 27 November, 2009, 09:00:16 pm
CF, that's another reason why I shan't be "upgrading" to BluRay. That and the following:

1. What's wrong with DVD?
2. Come to think of it, what was wrong with VHS?
3. I'm 39. My eyes aren't good enough to reliably pick my wife out in a room of people, so what on Earth would be the point of "High Definition" pictures?
4. My tv is shit.

I spent the entirety of my teens watching nth generation VHS copies of illegal horror films, foreign porn and old episodes of Dr Who that you had to squint and nod your head at the same speed as the picture was rolling AND read a transcribed script at the same time, to even have half a chance of following the plot... and I loved it. Why are people suddenly so obsessive about "clarity of picture". Transformers in HiDef BluRay Cinema sound is still absolute bollocks. Zombie Flesheaters on Phillips Video 2000 on a portable is still brilliant.

Steev
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 27 November, 2009, 09:40:26 pm
Where does the technology go next after Blu-Ray ?0

Once a format has reached the level of BluRay discs then there isnt really anywhere else for it to go.The capitalists will find some way to extract more cash from your pocket because its bigger and better than before.

So whats next a fully immersive holographic experience or films that you plug yourself into ?

Personally i couldnt give a toss as DVDs are adequate and its just more bits of plastic to spend money on thats pointless.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 27 November, 2009, 09:46:27 pm
When VHS came out no one knew what was round the corner, so anything is possible.







V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 27 November, 2009, 10:36:05 pm
The thing about BluRay, is that it's patently a last-ditch effort on behalf of the "entertainment industry" to screw people out of the very last remnants of their cash, making them pay YET AGAIN for the same films they already have on VHS and DVD. The format has been squeezed into this theoretical gap between the last years of DVD and the onset of the download age. Within a few years, everyone will receive their media via download- tv, movies, music, the lot. We will store them in purpose built "entertainment libraries" (home-based hard drives, rebranded to create demand, with interfaces sold to us along the same lines as BluRay/ DVD is now, with the accent on the latest one being the most desirable.) It will be the hard drives, the interfaces and the screens we watch them on that will fullfll our need to physically "own" items- while our increasing reliance on limited physical storage space, as we exist in smaller and smaller dwellings, coupled with vague notions of them being "greener" (no plastics, etc) will make them the "must-have" of the second part of the 21st century.

BluRay is temporary, and will go the same way as the Laserdisc. Very, very quickly and very soon.

By that time, no one will be watching tv linearly- we'll all have content made available to us at the same time, and we'll download it whenever we like. There won't be any "tv schedules".

I'll still be printing out my weekly 2000AD though- and bagging it.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 27 November, 2009, 11:47:42 pm
Quote
There won't be any "tv schedules".
A great post SBT, but I don't agree with this last bit - the hated internet phenomenon of posting "First!" when a web-cartoon or popular blog updates suggests to me that schedules will remain in the download age, even if only to mark the time at which a given download becomes available.  Eastenders fans, footie fans, Lotto junkies, all will still want to be there the moment something becomes available - and this point will probably represent a peak in downloads. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 28 November, 2009, 12:04:00 am
I made a hilarious joke on another thread and no one complimented me on it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Devons Daddy on 28 November, 2009, 06:46:02 am
it will be all downloads next gen. thats almost certain.

as for life impediments,i forgot to charge my itouch!which resulted in a boring journey to work without a prog or a megazine in site!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 28 November, 2009, 06:52:33 am
as for life impediments,i forgot to charge my itouch!which resulted in a boring journey to work...

This truly is one of the horrors of the modern age. I drive work jeeps a lot during the day, and or reasons that escape me none of them have (working) radios, so I depend on my MP3 player for my fragile sanity - looking down and seeing that red battery indicator instills a feeling of near panic.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 28 November, 2009, 08:16:41 am
A kid just called to the door selling aftershave and woke me up. He was very persistent and every time i tole him I wasn't interested he just lowered the price. I ended up putting the aftershave, that he had arranged in my hallway back into his bag and shutting the door. It's too early for this.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 28 November, 2009, 08:29:58 am
A kid just called to the door selling aftershave and woke me up. He was very persistent and every time i tole him I wasn't interested he just lowered the price. I ended up putting the aftershave, that he had arranged in my hallway back into his bag and shutting the door. It's too early for this.

What you let him get in!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 28 November, 2009, 09:14:55 am
If he'd started doing that sort of thing I think I'd have called the police and reported an intruder.  Watch him pack up his OWN shite in record time.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 28 November, 2009, 09:35:28 am
What you let him get in!

I didn't. He was stood at the door and just started placing them inside at my feet. I was sleep deprived and slightly hungover so my reaction to him were slow.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 28 November, 2009, 09:40:21 am
You should have shut the door and kept the goods that he had left for you as gifts ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 28 November, 2009, 01:55:03 pm
I would have allowed him a very generous 5 seconds to leave the premises or i would have physically removed him myself.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 28 November, 2009, 02:22:17 pm
I think we're going to see a lot more of this sort of thing in the future: more pushy salespeople, more petty crime and more portfolio working whereby people put in hours and hours of preparation time and foot-slog for a measly few quid in return. At the moment it's the credit crunch recession that's forcing people (me included) into these pathetic niches of partial employment, but it won't end should the economy ever pick up.

If there ever is another boom, automation, digital communications and the search for efficiency savings will almost certainly mean a reduction in the size of the workforce, leaving a lot of people left out, trying to scratch a living from work that doesn't need to be done, or else supporting themselves through crime, annoying the rest of us and making our lives more difficult into the bargain.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 28 November, 2009, 10:23:36 pm
This morning, I wasted my few hours off this week looking for a decent coat.  My current raincoat was secondhand to start with, and I've been wearing it for bike an bus commuting, long hours of fieldwork, hiking and sailing for 8 years now and it has more taped-up holes and tears than material (I call it 'breathable fabric'), so I thought that if I could choose a new one it would be a good sensible Christmas pressie from the wife in lean times.  Holy crap, am I out of step with reality.  Unless I wanted the plastic equivalent of a Fremen Stillsuit, or something on which I could actually pull the seams apart with a  yank (I feel no remorse, I was saving the next man a disappointment) , the damn things started at €200 - and went up.  The first one that I checked the price tag on was €340!  In the words of the Jerry Springer Musical, what the f**king f**king f**k.

And yet, the three outdoor shops I visited were full of staff, and full of customers, merrily consuming, so it's clearly me that's got the problem.   I've never spent €200 on an article of clothing in my life, suit I wore to my wedding included, and there's f**k all chance I'm going to start at the moment.  I expect a holiday, or a party, or game console or something for that kind of money - not a shagging coat.

Looks like I should have just grabbed a plastic sweatbox one from Lidl, and spent the morning with the kids.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 28 November, 2009, 10:24:34 pm
Not quite a 'Life Spugs' entry, but I went back to being a commuter last week. Man, the rush hour crowds on the tube! Something else. The idea of being stuck in one of those crowded trains in a tunnel fills me with dread.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 28 November, 2009, 10:28:19 pm
The most I have ever spent on a coat was at an American PX in Garmish on a skiing jacket for £150 back in 1993, Teflon coated and all that bollox. Still have it now.







V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 28 November, 2009, 10:48:51 pm
This morning, I wasted my few hours off this week looking for a decent coat.   

Shop online for one TB. The large online retailers will often have decent kit from previous years going cheap. It won't be in the latest colour (oh no) but it's surprising how much you can save on some really good technical gear. I always do this with my mountain bike kit as well, saves a fortune.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 28 November, 2009, 11:10:52 pm
Thanks Kerrin, didn't really expect advice, was just moaning about my wasted time, but I think I'll do just that.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: satchmo on 28 November, 2009, 11:33:48 pm
I just moved house and put all my comics into storage. 15,000 of the bastards. Even my Tarots :) Who let me buy so many? My back hurts.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 29 November, 2009, 09:23:50 pm
I'm being PERSUED and HARRASSED by ladybirds, hundreds of the damn things! It's winter, where the buggery chuff are they all coming from?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 29 November, 2009, 09:45:30 pm
I'm being PERSUED and HARRASSED by ladybirds, hundreds of the damn things! It's winter, where the buggery chuff are they all coming from?
That's weird - like some kind of biblical plague. You haven't recently stolen an ancient scarab from a pre-colombian temple or anything have you?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Christov on 29 November, 2009, 10:06:28 pm
I'm being PERSUED and HARRASSED by ladybirds, hundreds of the damn things! It's winter, where the buggery chuff are they all coming from?
That's weird - like some kind of biblical plague. You haven't recently stolen an ancient scarab from a pre-colombian temple or anything have you?

Ooo, ancient curses are bleedin' horrible in the winter, but I think you can get a cream for it from Boots or something.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 29 November, 2009, 10:09:36 pm
I'm being PERSUED and HARRASSED by ladybirds, hundreds of the damn things! It's winter, where the buggery chuff are they all coming from?
That's weird - like some kind of biblical plague. You haven't recently stolen an ancient scarab from a pre-colombian temple or anything have you?

*pats self down* nope, no scarabs or ancient treasures about my person - BEGONE FOUL LADYBIRD PLAGUE!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 29 November, 2009, 10:22:13 pm
I was looking through the bookshelves and I saw my copy of Nozick's Anarchy, State & Utopia that I bought for £20 in 2005. I just went in there (Ottakar's/Waterstone's MK) and just bought it. These days I would hesitate for at least three minutes.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 29 November, 2009, 10:30:38 pm
I'm being PERSUED and HARRASSED by ladybirds, hundreds of the damn things! It's winter, where the buggery chuff are they all coming from?

I have been having the exact same problem with Flies.I must have counted about 50 yesterday and the day before there werent any.They were all congregating on the window inside and werent responsive to movement so i used the hoover to suck them all up.Today there was about 20 that went up the hoover as well.

NO idea where they all came from either.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 29 November, 2009, 11:01:19 pm
Peter & Wild,

Isn't it obvious?

They don't HATE you.  They have identified you as their god.  Give them tasks (such as fetching platters of freshly caught wild Cheeseburgers or similar) and they will experience religious bliss by serving you. 

However, it will mean that you must spend eternity with them and listen to their insect songs of adoration on crudely built bug-harps.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 30 November, 2009, 12:29:51 am
where the buggery chuff

So wrong, and yet so very right. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 30 November, 2009, 03:53:56 am
Peter & Wild,

Isn't it obvious?

They don't HATE you.  They have identified you as their god.  Give them tasks (such as fetching platters of freshly caught wild Cheeseburgers or similar) and they will experience religious bliss by serving you. 

However, it will mean that you must spend eternity with them and listen to their insect songs of adoration on crudely built bug-harps.

If all i can do is attract flies then i dont know why i even bother.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 30 November, 2009, 12:23:39 pm
Peter & Wild,

Isn't it obvious?

They don't HATE you.  They have identified you as their god.  Give them tasks (such as fetching platters of freshly caught wild Cheeseburgers or similar) and they will experience religious bliss by serving you.  

However, it will mean that you must spend eternity with them and listen to their insect songs of adoration on crudely built bug-harps.

So how does this ladybird song go then Mike? *eagerly awaits bug symphony* I found one on the cooker this morning - maybe it likes porridge?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 30 November, 2009, 01:04:03 pm
I don't know.  I don't speak bug.  Porridge?  I know next to nothing about their dietry habits.  And if I don't know, then surely NOBODY does. 

Perhaps you should ask a university for a research grant and investigate these questions - especially if, as seems likely, they're determined to live in your house.  You should make SOME money out of these unwanted lodgers and I've got a grant from UCL to investigate their language.  Bugs aren't known for paying rent as the spiders in my bathroom prove every month.  They just look at me when I ask them where the rent is.  Not a lick of shame about them either.  Bloody bugs....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 30 November, 2009, 01:11:20 pm
Ahem, ahem. I ask politely now that all of you cease this bloody rude talk about my cousins. Larybirds are entirely good-looking little beetles and I have been known to easily crush on them. And spiders, loathsome as they are, can be nice enough fellows when their bellies are full.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 30 November, 2009, 01:24:11 pm
They're perfectly pleasant, they just don't pay any effing rent.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 30 November, 2009, 02:33:33 pm
Ahem, ahem. I ask politely now that all of you cease this bloody rude talk about my cousins. Larybirds are entirely good-looking little beetles and I have been known to easily crush on them. And spiders, loathsome as they are, can be nice enough fellows when their bellies are full.

I rather like ladybirds, actually creepy crawlies in general - I spend a lot of time scooping them up into a dish and putting them outside. I just wish there weren't so many of them!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 30 November, 2009, 03:01:16 pm
Ladybirds, bizarrely can be deadly. Back in the hoooottttt Summer of errr I think it was 1996, the one when I worked at West Kirby library if that helps any???? Anyway sometime around then there were real life swarms of ladybirds on the Wirral, and elsewhere I imagine. Anyway this bloke was chased by a swarm and had a heart attack.

I've tried to find a link to confirm this as as I typed it I realsied it sounded more and more like an urban myth but it was the talk of the penisular back then for a day or two... I think...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 30 November, 2009, 03:18:36 pm
That's similar to what I experienced one year while visiting friends in Texas (or as we Northerners - the true 'yanks' - refer to it, Tex-ass).

There were some big storms all summer long, and quite a deal of flooding. Apparently my inferior cousins, crickets, thrive in this kind of weathern and swarmed madly all over San Antonio. Wherever we went, in stores, malls, gas stations - wherever - crickets covered the ground like a moving blanket. All you could do to walk out the door was step on them and crush them. It was awful, crickets dead and alive everywhere.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 30 November, 2009, 04:21:16 pm
The summer you're reffering to, Colin, I was an assistant scout leader and was helping look after a bunch of young scouts and cubs on a group camp on the south coast somewhere (I forget, there were so many) when the entire place was literally mobbed with the bastards.  This does happen, I thought it myth until then too.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: James Stacey on 30 November, 2009, 04:44:32 pm
People who come to interviews, then decline your job offer as they are going back to university. Seriously, this has happened to me 3 times now. Why bother coming along and wasting time if you dont want the job.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 30 November, 2009, 04:50:30 pm
I remember that at school/college/university they always told us to get interview experience when possible.  That doesn't mean you apply for jobs you've no intention of taking up if offered though. 

Prats.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 30 November, 2009, 07:52:49 pm
Bugger! My shoulder cleared up well enough for me to drive down to Yorkshire and back (six adults in the magic bus!) but then on Sunday, Mrs Tips gets me chopping wood and cleaning gutters and I only go and put my back out.  Absolutely shooting agony down my left leg whenever I twist or turn. ("Don't twist or turn, then")
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 30 November, 2009, 08:33:45 pm
Phew !!!

I am glad thats over with  !!

I have just finished an argument/debate with THE worst deranged brainlocked lunatic from hell on another forum.Impossible to reason with.That was unprecedented in all my 3 yrs spent online.This included my first death threat.

Quite remarkable.

I had to draw a line under it and finish it in the end because it was wasting my time but if you think Scott is unreasonable or over the top then you have no idea.

There were lots of very very long ranting posts that were like Essays and lots of replies to himself that were long esssays.

I didnt want to post this really but i felt like i had to offload it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 30 November, 2009, 08:44:35 pm
Nearly died this morning on the M2. I was passing a foreign lorry (you can guess what happens next) on the climb up to junction 3. I always look across to check what these buffoons are doing, due to past experiences of seeing them in various states including eating a noodle dish, watching an action movie and being asleep.
Well this one looked awake and so on I went, I reckon my trailer was over half way past his cab when he decided to indicate and pull out straight into the side of me. Luckily I had checked the two outside lanes (another thing I do when overtaking a foreign vehicle) and they were clear. So I was able to swerve out of his way and slam the brakes on. He suddenly realised what he had done and flashed to say sorry (I presume) as he swerved back into the slow lane!
All in all just another day on our roads with foreign drivers who are a menace in the south east. The worst junction for this stuff is the M20 joining onto the M26, a death trap if ever there was one!
Anyway I'm alive, so I class that as a minor impediment ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 30 November, 2009, 08:50:03 pm
PETER: JESUS!

I've had SEVERAL death-threats.  One notable one on IMDB over five years ago (before I stopped posting due to morons like him).

Sweet Cheeses, there's more than ONE of them?  Crazy.  

Offloading this sort of thing is what this thread is for, dump away.

JOHN: That's utterly terrifying.  I don't know what to say.  The awful thing is people like that are on the roads right now, nearly killing lots of other people.  Let's hope it stays at "nearly".  I felt sick just READING that.  Brrrr.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 30 November, 2009, 09:15:45 pm
PETER: JESUS!

I've had SEVERAL death-threats.  One notable one on IMDB over five years ago (before I stopped posting due to morons like him).

Sweet Cheeses, there's more than ONE of them?  Crazy.  

Offloading this sort of thing is what this thread is for, dump away.

JOHN: That's utterly terrifying.  I don't know what to say.  The awful thing is people like that are on the roads right now, nearly killing lots of other people.  Let's hope it stays at "nearly".  I felt sick just READING that.  Brrrr.

Idiots on the roads.Idiots on forums.Idiots everywhere.....

What i will say about what i was dealing with is that this individual was aggrieved about something which was the Police in the US and if ever there was a candidate who was going to go postal with a loaded firearm then this was it.He was definately unbalanced and irrational and i dont say that as a throwaway comment.There was something very serious going on with this individual and the majority of his comments were baseless accusations and stuff that he was projecting onto myself.

I wont go into any more but lets say that he was warned off in no uncertain terms and all his text has been cut and pasted and filed away and of course he is traceable by IP address.

BBBrrrrr....

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 01 December, 2009, 12:17:28 am
It sounds like someone is eating all of the croissants I bought.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 01 December, 2009, 12:30:11 am
SHUT THE FUCK UP, CAT.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 01 December, 2009, 03:52:43 pm
Damn! Just been informed that the school Christmas Fair is this Wednesday 18:00 - 20:00. How and I gonna get my arse on the chatroom when I have to leave for work at my new time of 21:00. Life is so cruel sometimes ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 01 December, 2009, 06:18:14 pm
Just take a laptop along and sit grumpilly by Santa's Grotto typing away!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 01 December, 2009, 08:06:01 pm
The wife's Take That Circus Live CD arrived today, for Christmas and I have to listen to it tonight at work to make sure it's okay. I just know I'll end up singing along with some songs :-[
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 01 December, 2009, 11:41:33 pm
People who come to interviews, then decline your job offer as they are going back to university.

That's mental! Depends what the job is I suppose. Last time I went back to university it was because it paid better than the job I was doing at the time, if you can believe it. Ordinarily, wild horses wouldn't drag me there. Again. In the current economic climate it seems like quite a reckless thing to do to choose education over employment. Many of my current GCSE students are only there because they've recently been made redundant, and they're worried about the future.

When students of mine tell me they're getting qualifications because they want to go to university, I worry.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 02 December, 2009, 01:21:47 pm
People who come to interviews, then decline your job offer as they are going back to university.

That's mental! Depends what the job is I suppose. Last time I went back to university it was because it paid better than the job I was doing at the time, if you can believe it. Ordinarily, wild horses wouldn't drag me there. Again. In the current economic climate it seems like quite a reckless thing to do to choose education over employment. Many of my current GCSE students are only there because they've recently been made redundant, and they're worried about the future.

When students of mine tell me they're getting qualifications because they want to go to university, I worry.


It doesnt seem that reckless to choose education over employment especially if there isnt any employment but  i guess it depends on what subject and course they are choosing to study and wether it was the right choice because if its not then two or three years down the line they will look for employment and find that their qualification or degree is useless so they wont be any better off and in actual fact they will be worse off because of student loans and all the rest.

Anyway i always thought that you had to get qualifications to go to University.

Also i see professional posts advertised that are in my sector of work that require a very high standard of education to degree level and beyond that i cant apply for because i dont have any qualifications or degrees or anything.

These posts pay roughly 25,000 - 30,000 PA which isnt a very good financial return for years and years of study and quite honestly i am glad i never bothered with further education.I dont regret it at all.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 02 December, 2009, 04:15:30 pm
Don't! Put! Images! Into! Word! Before! You! Send! Them! To! Me! Argh!

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 02 December, 2009, 04:18:43 pm
Don't! Put! Images! Into! Word! Before! You! Send! Them! To! Me! Argh!

What do you mean, there's a charge for the artwork? I already did it for you -- didn't see the file "brochure.xls" ...?

*shudder*

Cheers!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 02 December, 2009, 10:06:07 pm
My girlfriend bought me two tickets to see Monster Magnet. I texted my mate - who I'd already mentioned the gig to - to offer him the spare, and the replied that he'd just bought two tickets to see the New York Dolls on the same night, with the intention of giving me his spare! Gah!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 02 December, 2009, 11:10:24 pm
It doesnt seem that reckless to choose education over employment especially if there isnt any employment

Whoah! Back up there, dude. I said choosing education over employment, not unemployment.

Quote
but  i guess it depends on what subject and course they are choosing to study and wether it was the right choice because if its not then two or three years down the line they will look for employment and find that their qualification or degree is useless so they wont be any better off and in actual fact they will be worse off because of student loans and all the rest.

Yep - that's why it's advisable to do a vocational course rather than an academic one. It rather defeats the point of what a university is and makes it a terrible waste that they changed all the polytechnics to universities in 1992, because every university's a polytechnic now.

Quote
Anyway i always thought that you had to get qualifications to go to University.

Yes, and...? Some of my students are taking GCSEs because they want to go to university. I worry for them because they have been sold a pup, and I worry about what's waiting for them at the end, and what it's going to cost them, not least in terms of what they might be giving up to get a degree just like every other school leaver's.

Quote
quite honestly i am glad i never bothered with further education.I dont regret it at all.

Rather makes my argument for me, doesn't it? i.e. university's a reckless gamble if the payoff isn't great and doing a degree means forgoing employment.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 03 December, 2009, 04:50:07 am
Quote
Yep - that's why it's advisable to do a vocational course rather than an academic one. It rather defeats the point of what a university is and makes it a terrible waste that they changed all the polytechnics to universities in 1992, because every university's a polytechnic now.


Mmmm-hmmm.  It's this gap in expectations that's the source of much woe.  'University' has become an almost-expected continuation of your school years into your 20's, leaving this huge question mark over where exactly somebody goes if they (a). want to learn practical vocational skills; or (b). want to develop academic chops (of whatever stripe).  Even twenty years ago my crankiest most demanding lecturer used to refer to Freshers as 'Seventh Formers', and he wasn't wrong.  

Ob. minor impediment:  it's 4.50 am and  I can't finish editing this bloody report.  
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 03 December, 2009, 05:14:55 am
Ob. minor impediment:  it's 4.50 am and  I can't finish editing this bloody report. 
Yup. Minor impediement here too. It's 5.15am and just finished work for the night. G'night.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 03 December, 2009, 04:33:14 pm
Just failed my driving test. Not in a killed a person way or I'll never do this kinda way but in a ho hum maybe next time. So strangely feeling more confident about my driving.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: James Stacey on 03 December, 2009, 04:50:51 pm
They say all the best drivers fail at least one test.
Thats what they told me on my 3rd test anyway.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 03 December, 2009, 05:29:50 pm
It's a pain, Colin, but If I'd passed my driving test the first time I would have been a very scary driver.  Despite having the mechanics and maneuvering down pat I had no real appreciation of road-sense or the value defensive driving.   In the few months in between first and second time I got a few lessons from a sane driving instructor (a big improvement over the first guy, who used to use me to pick up and deliver groceries to various family members) and actually worked at the important things - how not to kill anyone, mainly.  Best thing that ever happened to me, although I didn't think it at the time.   
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 03 December, 2009, 06:37:16 pm
Just failed my driving test. Not in a killed a person way or I'll never do this kinda way but in a ho hum maybe next time. So strangely feeling more confident about my driving.

As hard as it may sound but the best way to pass is to relax and try to not get so wound up about it being an actual test. Like I said it's hard to do but that's the best way, honest.
Good luck for your next test Colin!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 03 December, 2009, 07:33:51 pm
My book from Mongoose arrived today and the postie woke me at 12:50 after 1 hours sleep, which was nice. I've had a quick scan through it and it looks fine but now I have to hand it to the wife to wrap for Christmas. £25 from the Book Depository, can't go wrong.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 03 December, 2009, 08:01:09 pm
Been feeling terrible all day, runny nose, shivering and aches all over.
 
My computer got a nasty virus last night. In the end, I resorted to restoring it to its original state and so, I've spent all day reinstalling all the software I had.
 
On the bus home from town today a very drunk man started swearing at me for no reason at all.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 03 December, 2009, 08:25:45 pm
On the bus home from town today a very drunk man started swearing at me for no reason at all.

I bet that made the ride extremely uncomfortable. Do you say "please can you stop that" and get into an argument or do you ignore them, only for them to take offence because you are ignoring them!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Gavin_Leahy_Block on 03 December, 2009, 08:42:42 pm
I bet that made the ride extremely uncomfortable. Do you say "please can you stop that" and get into an argument or do you ignore them, only for them to take offence because you are ignoring them!

I just put in my earphones and tried to ignore him. He moved on to insulting someone else after that. Through it all though, he never once raised his voice and said it all in a hushed manner.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 03 December, 2009, 09:41:43 pm
Through it all though, he never once raised his voice and said it all in a hushed manner.

Oh keriste, they're the worst ones.  I once got stuck opposite one of those on the crowded night train from London Euston to Holyhead.  To escape, I put my head on the table and pretended to go asleep, whereupon he started debating with himself in the same angry half-whisper whether he should smash his bottle into my skull or not.  It's a long way to Wales.

Hope you feel better soon Gavin - must be a bad one if you managed to infect your computer too.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 03 December, 2009, 10:23:00 pm
It's a pain, Colin, but If I'd passed my driving test the first time I would have been a very scary driver.

What he said. I am a much better driver for not having passed my driving test first time. Or second time, come to that.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 04 December, 2009, 12:59:45 am
I reopened the scab on my shin and now there's blood all over my sheets.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 04 December, 2009, 02:41:34 am
Deadbeat absent students meant I had to fill in 20 withdrawal forms before leaving work today, meaning 2 hours of unpaid overtime, when I've got lots to do, a big weekend planned, sleep to catch up on (it's 2.40am) and a bus to catch tomorrow at 12.30pm.

 >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 04 December, 2009, 02:44:13 am
It's at least 6.5 hours before I can have a showerbath.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 04 December, 2009, 12:08:34 pm
Why would you waste crumpets on mini pizzas?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 04 December, 2009, 06:22:06 pm
I have my Internet on (obviously)- and have ONLY this board up at the moment. I just loaded a page, and my computer said- and I quote- "Oh my god, no way!". In a little, tinny, squeaky voice.

This disturbs me!

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 04 December, 2009, 08:14:46 pm
There's a weird tacky substance on the edge of my mousemat. Either the gel wrist bit's burst or it's a very misplaced wank.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 05 December, 2009, 01:27:37 am
... my computer said- and I quote- "Oh my god, no way!". In a little, tinny, squeaky voice.

It's one of those sidebar adverts for stupid talking smileys.  Drives me mad too.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 05 December, 2009, 09:29:35 am
The Forces family are off to the 'Romney Hythe and Dymchurch Railway' today, to go on the Santa Ride. Anyway I thought I'd better clean the car up and hoover it out and all the little things you need to do, every 5 years.
Well just to make my day start well the windscreen jets were a bit weak so I cleaned them up with a pin but alas that didn't help, so I lifted the bonnet (hood for our US cousins). What a laugh, the rubber tube that joins a 'Y' connector to the two nozzles was corroded. I then had to shorten it so I could rejoin the bugger. Lets just say a small job became a 'FUCKING' big job as the rubber tube dissapeared into the bonnet. My fingers are too big to slip into gaps like that but after much forcing and blood escaping from them I managed to do it. Life is strange like that.
Anyway we can now pick up Granny and Grandad and be on our way, whoopie do!

All this because of Santa, Damn you Santa!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Zarjazzer on 05 December, 2009, 11:04:21 am
Bah! near fight with p8ssed up chums in a restautrant.never good... :(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: IAMTHESYSTEM on 05 December, 2009, 11:19:32 am
(http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg86/ToadyCat/simpsons_nelson_haha2.jpg)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Zarjazzer on 05 December, 2009, 11:21:10 am
 ;D

I was doing my Rab C Nesbitt impression hands on hips slutrring every word
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Christov on 05 December, 2009, 03:53:50 pm
Blast! I can't find my paints at all today, which is a complete shame considering I meant to start finishing up my advent calendar entry.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 05 December, 2009, 09:33:54 pm
I had a fantastic night out in London but after the coach ride home, the driver - who was in a hurry to make up lost time after an unscheduled stop in Newport because he'd picked up two passengers for Newport by mistake - threw all the luggage compartment doors wide open and dragged all the luggage out, leaving bags from the side luggage hold on the paved area of the concourse and bags from the rear compartment in a big puddle in the road so he could get all the compartments closed as quickly as possible and hand over to another driver.

When I went to retrieve my luggage from the rear hold the driver shut the door on my head as I bent down to pick my bags up where he'd chucked them. The bigger of my two rucksacks was quite wet, either from being dropped in a puddle in the time it took for me to get off the bus and round to the back, or from water sloshing around in the boot (I didn't get a chance to see inside). When I got home I found the brunt of the flood had been borne by my dry clean only, vintage, tailored dinner jacket, which was absolutely wet through.


That's National Express, folks. Remember the name. In the future, now that I can afford it, I may switch from bus to rail travel for long trips.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 05 December, 2009, 11:35:48 pm
National express is the stuff of Nightmares.

I havent been on a National Express coach for at least 15 years perhaps even 20.

Not for me thanks.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 06 December, 2009, 05:54:30 am
National express is the stuff of Nightmares.

Catchy tune, though. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiBI3A2WcrE

Living in a country that systematically destroyed its once excellent rail network, and having a job that required me to move all round it but didn't pay enough to buy a car, I spent most of my 20's on coaches.  They are without question the vilest form of transport known to man.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 06 December, 2009, 09:40:25 am
Seconded.

Although given the lack of difference in quality and the MASSIVE difference in price, if I *have* to go by coach (and I generally do) then I'd take Megabus anyday. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 06 December, 2009, 12:05:07 pm
Never had any problems with Megabus, and price is definitely a factor in our choice, but lately it's been National Express because of ticket availability - National Express has been cheaper for the trips we've made this year and has run more services at convenient times. Rail, though horrendously priced, is still much more comfortable and I don't have to sort my bags ahead of time into stuff I need for the journey, stuff I don't need for the journey, and stuff I may never see again.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 06 December, 2009, 01:45:55 pm
National express is the stuff of Nightmares.

Catchy tune, though. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiBI3A2WcrE

Living in a country that systematically destroyed its once excellent rail network, and having a job that required me to move all round it but didn't pay enough to buy a car, I spent most of my 20's on coaches.  They are without question the vilest form of transport known to man.

The Uks rail network as it is is pretty good and is extensive but then if you compare the existing rail network to how it was before the Beeching cuts then its incredible how much of it has been lost.

I dont know how much of the original netwrok is left but in this area you can still walk along the abandoned lines and tunnels etc.Really it should all be brought back into service and whats more it could be done very easily as mostly it would just involve relaying track but you wouldnt expect a commonsense idea like that from the Morons in govt but i am surprised that it hasnt been proposed anywhere.

You can see a lot of the old lines marked on Ordnance Survey maps.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 06 December, 2009, 01:53:48 pm
Don't you know Peter. In the future they will tarmac those old tracks and then they will become private roads for MP's and their cohorts.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 06 December, 2009, 01:56:18 pm
You ever do a seemingly straightforward job that ended up getting epic?
We bought a Christmas tree yesterday. Brought it home, stood it up in its bucket in the hall.
To make room for the tree, I pulled out two seats from the bay window, to discover the wall and floor behind the seats were covered in grim black mould. Cue a trip to the shops to stock up on a variety of bleach-based mould-killing agents and chemical weaponry, followed by several hours of moving furniture around, cleaning walls, floor tiles and the window frame.

The mould has now been eradicated and the tree's in, but it looks like I've been burgled. The rest of today will feature housework. Lots of housework.

Also, Virgin have cross-patched my telephone line (previously working fine), and some other bloke has been receiving calls intended for me since Wednesday!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 06 December, 2009, 01:58:16 pm
Most of the former railway lines round my way have housing on them.  And, to be honest, Stanmore doesn't need it's old BR station back, the Jubilee Line does well enough.

But then, this is the outer suburbs of the capital - land is at a premium and transport links round here are pretty ace - in smaller towns and cities and especially in the country the transport is so bad and this suggestion of yours, Peter, is a good one if the lines are still mostly unoccupied.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 06 December, 2009, 02:08:37 pm
Don't you know Peter. In the future they will tarmac those old tracks and then they will become private roads for MP's and their cohorts.

I read about some new offices that are being created or a refurbishment of existing offices for Peter Mandelson @ the cost of 13 - 15 million.

GGGRRRR.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 08 December, 2009, 12:17:29 am
My hands are dirty and it's ingrained so I'm like Lady Macbeth, only I'm mental, a bitch and I like making mud pies.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 December, 2009, 11:51:15 pm
Those Gamestation ads are fucking lame.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 11 December, 2009, 11:16:02 am
the first workman arrived at QUARTER PAST BLOODY SEVEN this morning. They're removing asbestos from the kitchen today, and the full kitchen/bathroom refit has beenb put off till early Jan, so I've got about a month and a half of disruption and mess ahead. Oh joy.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 11 December, 2009, 11:48:00 am
I was so shagged last night that when I sat at the dining room table in front of this, in the wee hours, my head spent most of the time in contact with the aforementioned table. I eventually managed to wake myself enough to crawl into bed :-[

I had so many things to do but alas that's life!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 11 December, 2009, 11:56:23 am
Got the carpenter round to work on the stairs. Already he's propped open his toolbox against the brand new wallpaper and balanced his saw, teeth down, along the top of the newly-glossed skirting board, also resting against the brand new wallpaper.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 11 December, 2009, 12:00:14 pm
I have a feeling that that carpenter is going to visit a freshly dug patch of earth in your garden soon HoU. Just don't let on to the police that he was at your house when the search begins for him ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 11 December, 2009, 12:00:41 pm
Got the carpenter round to work on the stairs. Already he's propped open his toolbox against the brand new wallpaper and balanced his saw, teeth down, along the top of the newly-glossed skirting board, also resting against the brand new wallpaper.

Well isn't that what we all pay these people for? To fix five things and break two?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 11 December, 2009, 08:31:53 pm
The latest edition of SFX arrived in the post today all creased and slightly torn, in fact it was so creased that two creases appeared on every fucking page.
Anyway due to there being hardly any mentions of 2000AD or Dredd material in the mag this year I have decided to bin my renewal in January. I'm sick of reading about Dr Who all the time (saying that I don't read about 90% of the stuff now).
I nearly binned it last year but the subs people rang me up and made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Well this year I will refuse as I can't take it any more!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 11 December, 2009, 10:45:43 pm
I'm sick of reading about Dr Who all the time (saying that I don't read about 90% of the stuff now).

I don't read SFX regularly any more, but I got the recent "sci fi of the 21st century" special - about half of it seemed to be unquestioning fawning over Who - I think I may finally have had enough of this mag. (PS if anyone wants 2 of the 3 free gifts, just PM me - I'm happy to give away the crappy Star Trek mousemat and the double-sided Firefly/Lord of the Rings poster, but the calendar will be in my kitchen for the next 12 months)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 12 December, 2009, 01:37:09 am
I suppose this belongs in the fictional "Life doesn't do much to upset my personal inertia" thread but as I was looking through the "humour" section in Waterstone's (I was looking for "Stuff White People Like") I saw a Acme Novelty Library volume in there. Of course it's entirely possible that another customer chose not to put it back properly but it's more likely that no one who worked there  to peruse the contents to more correctly identify it in "Graphic Novels".  I didn't buy it because it didn't even have a proper price label. Nor did I put it in Graphic Novels because I don't work there.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 12 December, 2009, 05:30:34 pm
I have a debilitating cold, but I still did three shifts at work this week, stayed up late to prepare, had the carpenter round to fix the bannister, and have in-laws visiting. Good job the missus was up to the task of tidying up despite being ill herself. If it'd been my own family popping in I'd have told them to skip it because we're in no state to receive visitors.

Anyway, I've a very agreeable glass of Jacob's Creek Shiraz Cabernet to amuse me and the guests are no trouble at all.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 12 December, 2009, 05:47:49 pm
Had a fun filled drive last night. Stuck in a traffic jam on M25 just before M11 for an hour, slowly moving (two cars in a collision in the contraflow). Then after junction 25 hit another jam which shut the motorway (later on) but eventually passed the scene of destruction about 2 hours later (a car had gone up the back of a trailer, looked like a fatal to me) I managed to get my 45 minute break in lane 2 whilst I was waiting, which helped.
Then up the M1 there was a car on it's roof and the someone being treated by the medics at the roadside (luckily I got past this one before they could close the road).
Let's hope tonight there are some better drivers out there!
These were minor to me but obviously the worst thing possible to the poor people involved.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 12 December, 2009, 06:03:42 pm
All three of the kids next door AND their stupid aggressive effing dog are shrieking, barking and swearing while I'm trying to wathch the Return of The Magnificent Seven.  Goodbye atmosphere....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 December, 2009, 06:07:58 pm
About an hour ago i got the end of a cotton bud stuck right inside my ear so i went up to A+E which is 10 minutes walk around the corner from my house.I only had to wait 15 minutes before being seen by a gorgeous nurse who was very friendly to the point of being flirtatious.

MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm..........



Anyway because of this and that i have to wait until monday morning to have this object sucked out of my ear by a specialist.

Such is life.............

I had exactly the same thing happen when i went to the tax office and talked to the attractive Black woman about my tax affairs.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 12 December, 2009, 06:10:48 pm
Did she smack your wrist and tell you that you shouldn't put those in your ears?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 12 December, 2009, 06:11:09 pm
I had exactly the same thing happen when i went to the tax office and talked to the attractive Black woman about my tax affairs.


Surely sticking cotton buds in your ear isn't the thing to do when talking to a tax officer, attractive or otherwise????!!!!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 12 December, 2009, 06:15:05 pm
I had the same thing when I was in hospital with potentially life-threatening testicle woe.

Or at least, in my morpheine-addled mind I did.  I can remember her face clearly as she whispered about my vital signs being rather worrying and attempting to get ecg pads to stick to my hairy, masculine chest. 

Sadly I think she may have forgotten about me by now.  But I'll never forget her..... *sigh*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 December, 2009, 06:23:46 pm
Did she smack your wrist and tell you that you shouldn't put those in your ears?

She did say the "Never stick anything bigger than ....." thing but i explained it was because of "swimmers ear" and the itching and she was saying she has had the same thing herself before and understood how hard it is not to scratch inside the ear.


I had exactly the same thing happen when i went to the tax office and talked to the attractive Black woman about my tax affairs.


Surely sticking cotton buds in your ear isn't the thing to do when talking to a tax officer, attractive or otherwise????!!!!

I could have worded my comment a bit better but it was the flirtatiousness i was refering to.

I still cant believe i was in and out of A+E in half an hour if that because i was dreading being stuck up there for hours.............
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 12 December, 2009, 06:59:43 pm
She did say the "Never stick anything bigger than ....." thing

Me! Me! I know! Is it 'a fist' ?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 12 December, 2009, 07:00:39 pm
Elbow. 

That also applies to your mouth.  Unfortunately..... *wink*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 12 December, 2009, 10:05:20 pm
If it is smaller than your index finger don't stick it in.








V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 13 December, 2009, 11:33:42 am
Off to my niece's christening, which is partly nice since I get to see my niece, and partly intensely irritating because I will be nagged incessantly as to why my kids haven't been inducted into the cult-du-jour.  I would note that my brother and sister-in-law are of different religious backgrounds, are both agnostic and had a 'humanist' wedding ceremony, but they feel a baptismal cert (of any type) is important.

It's not like I'm not teaching my kids about religion, I mean how many three-year olds can name the three wise men (Note: not in the Bible) and Zeus' elder brothers?  Possibly I've gone too far calling Jesus 'one of the gods many people think are real'.  I'm a pretty big fan of Jesus-as-represented-in-the-Gospels as it happens, I just don't think he was the son of some type of god.

My mother's typically penetrating point is that I'm foisting the 'burden' of difference on my children.  Apparently I could throw my own kids in to today's proceedings as a job lot, and that would fix everything.

 I'm starting to feel like one of those bastards who refuses their kids transfusions or antibiotics because of their own beliefs.  Still, there'll be mince pies afterwards, and I haven't had one yet this year.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 December, 2009, 12:18:15 pm
I mean how many three-year olds can name the three wise men (Note: not in the Bible)

Um... let's see now: Balthazar, Melchior and... Athos? Porthos? Prancer? Dancer? Bashful? Erm...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 13 December, 2009, 12:29:29 pm
Gaspar (the friendly Magus), of course.  Now, can anyone help out with the third of the three Fates, Atropos, Clotho and...?

I walk past a statue of them every day, and can I remember the third?   
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 13 December, 2009, 12:46:06 pm
(http://home.online.no/~groennsl/baltazar/overskrift2.gif)






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: worldshown on 13 December, 2009, 01:04:19 pm
Gaspar (the friendly Magus), of course.  Now, can anyone help out with the third of the three Fates, Atropos, Clotho and...?

I walk past a statue of them every day, and can I remember the third?   

Lachesis?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 December, 2009, 01:08:47 pm
Off to my niece's christening, which is partly nice since I get to see my niece, and partly intensely irritating because I will be nagged incessantly as to why my kids haven't been inducted into the cult-du-jour.  I would note that my brother and sister-in-law are of different religious backgrounds, are both agnostic and had a 'humanist' wedding ceremony, but they feel a baptismal cert (of any type) is important.

It's not like I'm not teaching my kids about religion, I mean how many three-year olds can name the three wise men (Note: not in the Bible) and Zeus' elder brothers?  Possibly I've gone too far calling Jesus 'one of the gods many people think are real'.  I'm a pretty big fan of Jesus-as-represented-in-the-Gospels as it happens, I just don't think he was the son of some type of god.

My mother's typically penetrating point is that I'm foisting the 'burden' of difference on my children.  Apparently I could throw my own kids in to today's proceedings as a job lot, and that would fix everything.

 I'm starting to feel like one of those bastards who refuses their kids transfusions or antibiotics because of their own beliefs.  Still, there'll be mince pies afterwards, and I haven't had one yet this year.



I think in a lot of cases its about tradition rather than religious beliefs.I have been christened apparently despite the fact that my family arent particularly religious in any way.My brother didnt want a christian burial but he still got one which i didnt particularly agree with but again this was more to do with tradition rather than religious beliefs.

I am an agnostic and i dont believe in worshipping anything but i dont resent being baptised in holy water and despite the fact that i dislike organised religion i do have Christian values to a certain extent.

Perhaps the fact i have been baptised might explain why i have such a strong dislike of Lucifarianism and Satanism ?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 13 December, 2009, 01:35:40 pm
My brother, who, in all probability will bury me (or burn, or launch into the sun) has been emotionally blackmailed with talk of "ultimate betrayal" to dissuade him from doing anything remotely religious with my bones.  I think it's worked.

Of course, now I'm considering medical science for my old carcass, he won't get the chance to be tempted (hopefully) as the family only get what's left after medical students have done their thing.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 13 December, 2009, 05:34:14 pm
Lachesis, of course, thank you!  Now I can feel even more stupid when I can't remember tomorrow.

So the christening was interesting - I think all concerned imagined they were getting away with a secular-type affair, but in fact all ended up swearing all kinds of solemn oaths of fealty to Cod, the Baby Jeebus and the Holey Spigot.  It was amusing watching participants who were probably last in a church at their christenings writhe under the glare of religiosity - fair play to the professional baby-wetter, he gave them their money's worth.  I was gad I didn't take up the three-for-two offer, I suspect I'd have combusted with shame half way through.

That said, the wee girl was absolutely gorgeous, clad in a christening robe made from her great-great-grandmother's wedding dress, and previously worn by her great grandad in India,  her grandmother (my mum), two of her uncles and me.  So that bit I enjoyed.  Also, the mince pies were choice.

Oh, and it's medical experiments for me too.  If nothing else, I want the female doctors of tomorrow to never be satisfied with the physiques of their future husbands.  Failing that, I'm sure the pigs could use some decent chow.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 13 December, 2009, 06:25:54 pm
Leaving your body to science is all very well...however. After discussions over several beers with a couple of old friends of mine who are doctors (one a GP, the other a consultant neurosurgeon if you please), I'm getting burnt to a tee and blown out of a cannon. Fair enough, you're not going to know a damn thing about it, but the thought of a hungover medical student stuffing up your various orifices and hacking away at your carcase like a crackhead kebab shop worker is just slightly too much.

But as I say, you won't feel a thing. And it is a noble thing to do.

Minor impedimentally, I left a tissue in my jeans pocket before washing them. Black t-shirts with fetching flecks. Tut.

 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 13 December, 2009, 07:03:37 pm
Quote
Fair enough, you're not going to know a damn thing about it, but the thought of a hungover medical student stuffing up your various orifices and hacking away at your carcase like a crackhead kebab shop worker is just slightly too much.

Idea used to worry me, but then I greatly enjoyed the funeral of the grandmother of good friends of mine, who had donated her body to science and put all kinds of no-fuss conditions into her dying wishes, only to end up with not one but two religious ceremonies arranged by well-meaning relations instead.  I attended the second of these, a proper Catholic funeral (she was Church of England, unlike most of the family) but with no coffin or body, which created all sorts of hilarious missteps and doubletakes which were greatly enjoyed by the put-out grandkids who would sooner have honoured her wishes, and by me.  It's a good way of reminding both yourself and your family that the body is only a small part of the person and once it's packed in not worth fussing over.  Dead people get to live on in the memories and through the lives of those they've affected, but we spend our time fixated on a body.  Better to get it out of the way.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 13 December, 2009, 08:09:49 pm
I had the same thing when I was in hospital with potentially life-threatening testicle woe.

Holy shit! Any form of testicle woe is a Very Bad Thing Indeed, but life-threatening testicle woe? Hope that's behind you now, Mike (the woe, not the testicle).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 13 December, 2009, 08:11:21 pm
I've forgotten what I was going to put on this thread.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 14 December, 2009, 08:35:41 am
Holy shit! Any form of testicle woe is a Very Bad Thing Indeed, but life-threatening testicle woe? Hope that's behind you now, Mike (the woe, not the testicle).
It's a heroically scarred, puckered sack now.  I won't bore you with details.
It's a good way of reminding both yourself and your family that the body is only a small part of the person and once it's packed in not worth fussing over.  Dead people get to live on in the memories and through the lives of those they've affected, but we spend our time fixated on a body.  Better to get it out of the way.
It's just meat, and once you no longer exist it starts to go off.  Seems a waste to bin it if you can help future medics prolong, save & improve countless lives.  Not enough people do it.  I urge you all to consider it.

I've just finished my first EVER will and it's in there (as is the no Jovus, Mavis & Jethro).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 14 December, 2009, 11:24:50 am
Not even Jethro?  I always thought the seed-drill was pretty cool, and as for those flute solos...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 14 December, 2009, 12:17:11 pm
It's just meat, and once you no longer exist it starts to go off.  Seems a waste to bin it if you can help future medics prolong, save & improve countless lives.  Not enough people do it.  I urge you all to consider it.


[/quote]

No shit but i misread your comment as -"future medics prolong , save and improve pointless lives ".

You could live on by becoming a sperm donor.

Imagine the consequences and improvements to the gene pool if i chose to do this...............
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 14 December, 2009, 12:20:37 pm
I don't want kids under any circumstances, the fun of playing with the little blighters might be about the only silver-lining on what, for me, would be a massive cloud. 

No ta. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 December, 2009, 04:24:31 pm
I don't want kids under any circumstances

Oh, I would if circumstances were different, but they're not, so I don't. It really is circumstances more than anything else that decided me against having any kids ever.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 14 December, 2009, 05:57:57 pm
Oh, I would if circumstances were different, but they're not, so I don't. It really is circumstances more than anything else that decided me against having any kids ever.

Wise words, people.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 14 December, 2009, 06:10:08 pm
If only more people thought like that.  Or just had the courage to come out and say if, like me, they really really DON'T want any - I know of someone who felt he "HAD TO" for his girlfriend, despite not being at ALL up for it himself.  They've since split up.  Better all round to talk about these things and be honest, both with each other and yourself. 

Bravo Ush.  Can't be an easy decision, but it is the right one.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 15 December, 2009, 11:52:44 am
I watched all my footage of the Minty shoot last night on the telly in Widescreen (as I filmed it in 16:9. Now that I've put it onto the laptop it's squished into 4:3. None of my previous stuff has ever done this, aaargh!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 15 December, 2009, 12:33:27 pm
I just watched a stand in postman deliver my mail and as I went to the door I saw him fold up an envelope that had 'Fragile' tape wrapped around it and push it through the letter box.
I opened the door and my verbal assault took place.

"Excuse me mate can you tell me why you folded this up to push into the letter box when it says FRAGILE all over it, especially as you saw me coming to the door?"
"It's not very stiff so I thought it would be okay."
"How does that work in your head mate, it says FRAGILE and that's how you treat the thing"
Well it didn't feel fragile"
"What, it didn't feel FRAGILE, it has FRAGILE all over the FUCKING envelope you idiot"
"I'm sorry, what more can I do?"
"Here's an idea you moron, when you saw it had the words FRAGILE plastered all over it and you saw me you only had to wait a few bloody seconds as I was about to open the door."

With this I came inside before I really got angry. I opened my ebay victory and all is well. I doubt my next parcel will arrive at all now. Fucking stand in postmen >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 15 December, 2009, 01:18:17 pm
What is it with these bloody automatic doors everywhere?  I'm under a lot of time pressure at the moment, and whenever I go anywhere I'm forced to break my step and w-a-a-a-i-i-t while a sliding door starts to open and then creaks slowly out of my way.  Hurry the drokk up!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 15 December, 2009, 01:18:38 pm
Aaaargh, time eating Double post!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 15 December, 2009, 05:31:12 pm
Just had to smash the ice in the gutters of the conservatory and then fished it out with my now blue hand. It must be cold down south!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 15 December, 2009, 06:52:00 pm
I was reading this months SFX and came upon the 'Being Human' article. Now being a show that I like I read the thing in full, imagine how pissed off I was when I read the following!

The "control room" is a bank of monitors and a few folding canvas chairs tucked into one corner; director Colin Teague calls the shots from here, and reads Judge Dredd comics between takes. ("They're not mine," he protests, "they're from Mitchell's bedroom!" but Toby Whitehouse later spills the beans: "Oh he's a total comics geek.")

Let me see, is he trying to say that he's embarrassed to be reading Judge Dredd. For fucks sake, it's bad enough that there are so few British comics (small press excluded, which is thriving from what I can see) in the shops that we get some twat scared to say he likes the comic. I mean if what was said 'he's a total comics geek' is true then he could have at least said that he liked it. I mean, he is directing a series about a Vampire, a Werewolf and a Ghost living together >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 15 December, 2009, 06:53:38 pm
If he's in THAT show, he's ashamed of the wrong thing...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 15 December, 2009, 06:57:08 pm
If he's in THAT show, he's ashamed of the wrong thing...

HERETIC!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 15 December, 2009, 07:03:50 pm
Being human suckd ass. The end.

Although it WAS filmed in my old neighbourhood from uni-days. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 15 December, 2009, 07:52:17 pm
We shall be having words about this...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 15 December, 2009, 08:15:50 pm
It was AWFUL.  That's a word.  You can have it. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 15 December, 2009, 08:28:25 pm
Last week I missed my sons first nativity play, He was Joseph, because of fucking work. Good news us we have ordered it on DVD.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 15 December, 2009, 09:48:06 pm
It was AWFUL.  That's a word.  You can have it. 

*seethes quietly*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 15 December, 2009, 09:48:36 pm
Looks like cheques are being phased out in banks as of tomorrow. Boo.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 15 December, 2009, 09:59:16 pm
Put me down as firmly on Mike's side in the Being Human debate- pretentious wank of the highest/ lowest order. The pilot was good, but then they replaced the two good actors with horrible charismaless arses, and seemed to think they were doing something "important". I swear BBC Wales is full of cocks. The series was almost unwatchable, and I certainly won't be watching series two.

And it's got Russell Tovey- THE most irritating person in the history of people.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: satchmo on 15 December, 2009, 10:03:22 pm
I loved the pilot, but hearing they were replacing the vampire lad and the brilliant Andrea Risebourough kind of put me off to be honest, and I never got round to watching the series in the end. I'll give it a butchers one day...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 15 December, 2009, 10:22:14 pm
Looks like cheques are being phased out in banks as of tomorrow. Boo.

Already under way over here.  You have to wonder about the supposed cost-saving logic - it costs over a euro to process each one, and apparently we only write 15 each on average every year.  I make that about €20, which is a hell of a lot less than just having a credit card costs me.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Paul faplad Finch on 15 December, 2009, 10:31:37 pm
I don't have a chequebook. Never have.


I never saw the Being Human pilot. I did see the series though and thought it was a briliant piece of television. I'll agree that Russell Tovey is bloody annoying though but the rest of the cast made up for it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 December, 2009, 08:51:52 am
Cheques are utterly pointless.  I'm looking forward to them going the way of the dodo.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 16 December, 2009, 09:53:12 am
B-but if they get rid of cheques, how will I pay my yearly Tooth subscription...?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 December, 2009, 09:57:26 am
Credit/Debit card.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 16 December, 2009, 10:01:40 am
I guess. :( Seems a bit impersonal, though. If I'm signing away large chunks of my own money away I want to do it personally, y'know?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 16 December, 2009, 10:05:01 am
Um, no.  Not really.  Sorry.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Matt Timson on 16 December, 2009, 10:21:51 am
Thanks for the thoughts on phonics, all. Rose is only in the crazily-named "ante-pre-school" year but I'll remember, and keep an eye on things.

We're lucky to live where we do, with lots of great little village schools nearby. But it can't hurt to get involved.

- Trout

We took the decision not to not push reading and writing on Lottie before she started school as that's what school is for.  As somebody else has already mentioned, you run the risk of your child being bored out of their mind, with the end result being that they lose interest and actually go backwards.  Plus, you know, they're at school for a long time- so why not just let them play for as long as they can?

Lottie's just started in Reception (or the infants, as we used to call it) and is doing the phonics thing now.  She seems to be getting the hang of it so far and I'm really enjoying reading the books with her- but I'll let you know if we have any particular problems with it.  I think the main thing is that you have to be prepared, as a parent, to go the extra mile yourself.  The sad truth is that teachers are burdened with a lot of crap these days- and whereas you shouldn't have to step in and pick up their slack- that's exactly what you're going to have to do if you genuinely want to help your child.

As for teachers themselves- you get good and bad.  From my own point of view- and from personal experience- I think you're probably better off not getting in a teacher's face every five minutes unless it's absolutely necessary.  Do it too many times with a bad teacher and your child will probably suffer in the classroom as a result.


This is technically in the wrong thread now, but I wanted to give you an update on it.

Phonics is working out really well for Lottie.  Once you get the hang of the way that they're being taught, it actually makes a lot of sense (or at least, we think so).  There are, of course, exceptions- but that's down to the crazy way we spell certain words and would be problematic no matter how you decided to teach somebody to read.

Lottie has just been the narrator in her school nativity- a part that usually goes to one of the juniors.  Eat that, phonics doubters!
 
;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 December, 2009, 01:14:55 pm
The only bad thing about cheques was the excessively long time that it takes for them to clear.

And the bad thing about phasing them out means that if i need paying by someone then they have to go to a bank and draw out X amount from the bank or i have to give them my bank details to have it paid into my bank account and quite honestly i am not that happy doing that.Banks wont like it everyone has to go in to a bank and draw out thousands at a time and whats more banks wont be able to do this for very long before they run out of cash.

Whats the alternative then ?




Looks like cheques are being phased out in banks as of tomorrow. Boo.



Already under way over here.  You have to wonder about the supposed cost-saving logic - it costs over a euro to process each one, and apparently we only write 15 each on average every year.  I make that about €20, which is a hell of a lot less than just having a credit card costs me.


How do you get paid and collect payments ? Obviously if you are dealing with commercial property developers/construction companies etc its safe to exchange details but what about private individuals ?

The only alternative i can think of is to have a website with a payment system.

Anyway from what i have heard they wont be phased out until 2018.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 16 December, 2009, 01:46:47 pm
Quote
How do you get paid and collect payments ? Obviously if you are dealing with commercial property developers/construction companies etc its safe to exchange details but what about private individuals ?

Well, they haven't implemented anything yet, just decided to go ahead.  I have literally no idea how it will work, about the only people who pay us by electronic transfer are State bodies, and the only people we don't pay by cheque are staff and various standing-order based utilities.  I also like the control that double-signing a cheque confers - the idea of my office manager or business partner having control of an electronic payment system worries me.  I have enough trouble keeping track of existing electronic systems, but that's probably a weakness on my part.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 16 December, 2009, 01:54:21 pm
I can't seem to wrap presents without getting loose pubes stuck under the sellotape. Is it just me?

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 16 December, 2009, 02:19:33 pm
I can't seem to wrap presents without getting loose pubes stuck under the sellotape. Is it just me?
M@
You mean you've started your Spendfest shopping already?!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 16 December, 2009, 02:48:41 pm
Bit scary that. You're way too organised...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Minkyboy on 16 December, 2009, 02:57:06 pm
I can't seem to wrap presents without getting loose pubes stuck under the sellotape. Is it just me?

M@

Use your hands, not your cock.
Just an idea.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 16 December, 2009, 03:11:04 pm
I was so excited with all the stuff going on that I didn't check my shift pattern properly and thought I was off tonight, so could be on the chat room for hours. Sadly I'm off tomorrow, bollocks ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 December, 2009, 05:33:51 pm
Quote
How do you get paid and collect payments ? Obviously if you are dealing with commercial property developers/construction companies etc its safe to exchange details but what about private individuals ?

Well, they haven't implemented anything yet, just decided to go ahead.  I have literally no idea how it will work, about the only people who pay us by electronic transfer are State bodies, and the only people we don't pay by cheque are staff and various standing-order based utilities.  I also like the control that double-signing a cheque confers - the idea of my office manager or business partner having control of an electronic payment system worries me.  I have enough trouble keeping track of existing electronic systems, but that's probably a weakness on my part.

BACS payments are fine for paying employees as employess dont want to wait for cheques to clear usually.

However i smell a rat again :

This quote from the article linked below made me laugh a bit because of its stupidity :




"Our fear is that setting a date will give the green light to banks and retailers to withdraw cheques even earlier than 2018, as some already have. It is vital that before cheques are phased out, the Payments Council ensures there is a practical, safe, paper-based alternative in place which serves the needs of this group."


Lets phase out or abolish cheques and replace cheques with a practical paper based alternative !!

 :-\ ::)

What ??

Cash ??

Cash is a cheque from the Bank Of England who " promise to pay the bearer the sum of 5 pounds" or however much but if everyone went to the Bank Of England with their 5 pounds they would only get another 5 pounds in whatever denomination in return because the gold standard was abolished so that 5 pounds is not backed by anything so their whole ethos contradicts itself and the BOE would be unable to meet its obligations as a private company because there isnt anywhere near enough paper currency in circulation.

 ;D :-\

Whoever itwas here that said that Cheques are pointless is talking rubbish because for businesses they are essential and given the fact that i have already pointed out that it is very difficult or impossible for you or anyone else to go into a bank and draw out 10,000 quid for example [or whatever the limit is] without a prior arrangement then phasing out cheques is idiotic.

Another thing is until recently i could pay my bank a quid and they would clear any cheque by the next working day providing it doesnt bounce of course but that has been stopped.

"Lets all go ahead with the plan and implement it even though we have no idea what the alternative will be !!"

The stupidity continues...................


Article :
http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2009/dec/15/cheques-bounced-out-history
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 17 December, 2009, 04:40:50 pm
Sometimes being a father can be hard.
 
I'm sure that I've made no secret that my son (Sam) has autism and life can be a struggle for him and us sometimes (quite a lot of times actually). Anyway he's 10 (11 in Feb) and over the last year or so his baby teeth have started to drop out. Now the first time was funny and sad as he didn't know what to do and tried to put it back into his mouth and was worried about what was happening.
Since then we've been able to inform him in a certain way that it's okay for some teeth to fall out as new better one will take their place.

Just now my wife called me to say that one of his molars was starting to fall out but was hanging on in there. When I walked into the front room Sam had a pair of scissors in his hand and was wanting to cut his tooth out, as he was worried and in a bit of pain.

In stepped Dad, I went and found a pair of pliers that would be able to do the job and with the wife saying 'you are kidding' proceeded to yank the bugger out. It took a few attempts and Sam was uncomfortable with it but he was going to be in more discomfort, as he would just keep trying to pull it and who knows when it would fall out. I must admit he didn't flinch once and Carolyn was holding his hand and saying soothing things.

This is the only time that I've had to cause my son any pain and it was one of the hardest things I have had to do but I knew it had to be done as he would just cause himself more pain and be anxious to get the tooth out.

Life!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 17 December, 2009, 06:25:37 pm
That's a pretty incredible story. Well done for doing the hard thing for your son.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 December, 2009, 01:55:23 am
I just had a bunch of kids shouting and screaming outside my house and running around in the courtyard throwing snowballs outside my house which was distracting me from watching a film so i had to open the window and tell them to Fuck Off which fortunately for them they did.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 18 December, 2009, 05:48:45 am
...Miles to go before I sleep.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 December, 2009, 08:17:31 am
I kept being woken up by wind last night.  Wind normally makes me feel very warm by comparison to how cold I'd be if I were FEELING the wind, so this was a shock.  Probably because it was very cold last night.  Oh well.  Awake now. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mikey on 18 December, 2009, 09:41:16 am
Quote
kept being woken up by wind last night.  Wind normally makes me feel very warm

Hey it's anatural thing - I tell Mrs Mikey that I'm only trying to warm the bed.

Oh...

I'll get me coat.

M.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 December, 2009, 09:44:24 am
Yeah, oddly enough I had some of that last night too.  THAT didn't wake me up though.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Matt Timson on 18 December, 2009, 10:30:26 am
I am unable to find evidence of Mike Gloady and this mysterious congratulating each other on their choice of partner.  I require an informed opinion before making my judgement.
 
8)
 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 December, 2009, 10:38:50 am
Let's not start THAT again....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 18 December, 2009, 11:12:49 am
I just had a bunch of kids shouting and screaming outside my house and running around in the courtyard throwing snowballs outside my house which was distracting me from watching a film so i had to open the window and tell them to Fuck Off which fortunately for them they did.

Bah Humbug, eh, Pete?  ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 18 December, 2009, 11:19:45 am
Trying to get hold of some hi-res press images from a company which has helped us out in this regard every few weeks for the last 2 years. Our contact there has now left, so the new person wants us to fill in forms, get references, prove credentials and send mock-ups of the new ad.

The net result of all this will be an hour wasted - and the hi-res images being sent across as requested. They could just send them now and save us all the bother.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 18 December, 2009, 11:23:42 am
I just had a bunch of kids shouting and screaming outside my house and running around in the courtyard throwing snowballs outside my house

I believe that the correct term for this is "playing" ...?

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 18 December, 2009, 11:26:52 am
I just had a bunch of kids shouting and screaming outside my house and running around in the courtyard throwing snowballs outside my house which was distracting me from watching a film so i had to open the window and tell them to Fuck Off which fortunately for them they did.

Bah Humbug, eh, Pete?  ;)

Imagine children outside enjoying the snow when they could be inside watching telly or on the console, WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 December, 2009, 11:32:11 am
Hoodies, eh?  

I feel bad about thoughts like those, Peter, but I DO have them.  

I feel like I'm going to hell for what just happened though.  Happened to look out the window at the deep-pan Cripsin Stevens when a cyclist, bombing down the path (and into the alleyway next to my house) slipped on ice and spun arse-over-booby over the handlebars and landed painfully on his head.  Laughed my arse off (which he clearly heard) but sod it, I could use a laugh or two this morning.

And maybe it'll stop him plummetting at (literally) break-neck pace through the narrow pathway in the alley (which is dangerous on so many levels).  I've been flatened myself several times by morons on bikes in there (and once by a motorbike, I'm not making this up).
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 18 December, 2009, 11:39:39 am
I kept being woken up by wild last night.  Wild normally makes me feel very warm by comparison to how cold I'd be if I were FEELING the wild, so this was a shock.  Probably because it was very cold last night.  Oh well.  Awake now my love. 

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 December, 2009, 11:41:07 am
This isn't fucking funny you know.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 18 December, 2009, 11:45:09 am
This isn't fucking funny you know.

yeah, it is !
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 18 December, 2009, 11:48:28 am
its meant in a caring way...  ;D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 December, 2009, 11:49:39 am
I dont mind anyone playing but i dont like SHOUTING !!! and SCREAMING !!! LOUDLY at 2 am.

I wouldnt do that myself because i would have a bit more consideration for others who might be asleep and have to get up early to go to work or whatever.Al;so they could have gone over the road and played in the church garden instead of in here.

Would anyone here mind if i did that in their front garden at 2am ?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 18 December, 2009, 11:56:41 am
Snow is gay.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 18 December, 2009, 12:10:32 pm

Would anyone here mind if i did that in their front garden at 2am ?

2:00am is a somewhat crucial detail you omitted from your original post, Peter, and very much marks a dividing line between "justifiably annoyed" and "miserable bastard".

Fair enough -- send 'em on their way!

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 18 December, 2009, 12:51:33 pm
Quote from: Banners

The net result of all this will be an hour wasted - and the hi-res images being sent across as requested.


Which is exactly what happened. Bah!
 
M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 18 December, 2009, 12:59:01 pm
Quote from: Banners

The net result of all this will be an hour wasted - and the hi-res images being sent across as requested.


Which is exactly what happened. Bah!
 
M@


Sounds like the newbie at the other end is trying to justify their desk space.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 18 December, 2009, 01:05:21 pm
Quote from: Banners

The net result of all this will be an hour wasted - and the hi-res images being sent across as requested.


Which is exactly what happened. Bah!
 
M@

Sounds like the newbie at the other end is trying to justify their desk space.

Like something out of a page-a-day Dilbert desk calendar.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 December, 2009, 01:08:40 pm

Would anyone here mind if i did that in their front garden at 2am ?

2:00am is a somewhat crucial detail you omitted from your original post, Peter, and very much marks a dividing line between "justifiably annoyed" and "miserable bastard".

Fair enough -- send 'em on their way!

Cheers



Jim

It had to be done but they did run off [literally] with one of the plastic lids to the recycling boxes.

Ruddy kids .....

Wait till i get my hands on em the little bastards !
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 18 December, 2009, 01:12:25 pm
I'm looking forward to driving up to Bradford tonight. Last week the roads were clear, I have a feeling tonight may be different.
I'm taking my sleeping bag on this one ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 18 December, 2009, 01:12:52 pm
Fair play PW.

Banners, either the newb is, as a previous poster put it, "trying to justify desk space" or they're a little worried about getting into trouble and making a mistake in a new role.  Bloody annoying either way.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 18 December, 2009, 01:29:34 pm
Sam just brought a snowball into the house and threw it at me :o
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 18 December, 2009, 01:51:01 pm
Sam just brought a snowball into the house and threw it at me :o
Pull another tooth out!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 18 December, 2009, 06:29:52 pm
Sam just brought a snowball into the house and threw it at me :o
Pull another tooth out!

Cripes, looks like that there Helltrek is being led by the Marathon Man! 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 18 December, 2009, 06:36:47 pm
Is it safe?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 21 December, 2009, 07:41:26 pm
Just trying to figure out my new phone, what a fiasco. I'm in for a mental night at work trying to sort the bugger out. Still haven't figured out how to call anyone  :-[
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 21 December, 2009, 08:05:10 pm
Just trying to figure out my new phone, what a fiasco. I'm in for a mental night at work trying to sort the bugger out. Still haven't figured out how to call anyone  :-[


(http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_94/1162291684g0ah0m.jpg)
then dail number.







V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 22 December, 2009, 08:54:56 pm
After spending 2 hours longer than usual in driving down to Brighton from Essex via the Dartford crossing, to see my family for the first time since August, I can honestly say that one minor impediment is the selfish f***ers who insist - insist, I say - upon turning out to drive on frozen roads in the middle of a blizzard just to do their Christmas shopping at Thurrock Lakeside the last Monday before Christmas.
 >:(

I say, if you can't get it mail order or find it in a shop within 20 minutes of home, then you probably don't need it.

(I say this as someone who didn't absolutely have to travel right there and then, significantly increasing the risk level of my journey and others' by putting one more car on the road in icy conditions, but if I hadn't my mum would've been very disappointed (and very nearly was, as I arrived in Brighton only 10 minutes before the time of the restaurant booking instead of 2 hours), I would have been absent from a family dinner out at a table for 10, and I'd have been a day later returning to Cardiff and by Christmas Eve I'd still have been sorting out the pigsty mess we left behind here instead of wrapping presents.)
 :|
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 22 December, 2009, 08:57:03 pm
You should have called in at Peter's as he lives by the sea!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 22 December, 2009, 09:07:35 pm
You should have called in at Peter's as he lives by the sea!

Regrettably it was only a flying visit. Sorry, Peter.  ;)

I was back and forth like a yo-yo all weekend. Cardiff to Essex on Friday; down to Brighton on Saturday and back up to Essex the same night; back down to Brighton on Monday evening and back to Cardiff today, with a detour off the M4 to avoid long delays due to an accident, down to Winchester and back up via the Newbury bypass - which, incidentally, got blocked the Oxford side of the M4 going north and the Southampton side going south even as we were driving along it on the unaffected northwards stretch south of the M4.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 23 December, 2009, 12:38:42 am
I always feel compelled to read Zatanna's backward words and it takes far too long.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 23 December, 2009, 09:41:23 am
I do that too, Roger.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 23 December, 2009, 09:52:52 am
I haven't had a proper night's sleep in at least 4 weeks because I've been burning the candle at both ends for work and pleasure, but mostly work. On my Christmas visit I found my in-laws' foam mattress on one night and divan airbed on another both too uncomfortable to sleep on, so no rest there either. The flickering muscle of sleep deprivation in my forehead, which I've never experienced before, has still not gone away!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 23 December, 2009, 11:02:55 am
No rest for the wicked, eh, Ush?

Cheers!

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 23 December, 2009, 02:13:17 pm
The flickering muscle of sleep deprivation in my forehead, which I've never experienced before, has still not gone away!

See, you try to avoid the consequences of reproduction by keeping a souwester on the little sailor, but nature finds a way to hit you up anyway.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 23 December, 2009, 02:30:10 pm
 >:(Aaaaaargh! >:(

Whilst walking up my street I saw the postman collecting his second bags worth of mail from the postal van parked over the road from our house.
I jokingly said "I hope you haven't left one of those sorry, you were out notes" to which he stood and thought for a micro second and then said "It's in the van".
I quickly started to sprint up to the vehicle whilst shouting but the BASTARD drove off. Now I have to go down the town tomorrow and collect the bloody things (it said on the card two packets).
I know that one is a present for a relative but the second I think may be one of those New Mongoose Dredd books, (not the game) as when I was down town I noticed whilst checking my account, that the Book Depository had taken the appropriate amount out for the first book!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 24 December, 2009, 04:07:20 am
he stood and thought for a micro second and then said "It's in the van". I quickly started to sprint up to the vehicle whilst shouting but the BASTARD drove off.

Was it by any chance this same fella: http://2000adonline.com/forum/index.php/topic,25797.msg477572.html#msg477572 (http://2000adonline.com/forum/index.php/topic,25797.msg477572.html#msg477572)?

I wonder why!  :lol:
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 24 December, 2009, 09:42:17 am
Nice one House of Usher :thumbsdown:
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 24 December, 2009, 10:20:14 am
We have to keep the postmen sweet. They have power over us!  :lol:
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 24 December, 2009, 10:37:39 am
I was nice to the one on foot, this time. It's the van driver who better watch out, I shall be going down to the collection place about 12:00ish :thumbsdown:
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 24 December, 2009, 08:40:23 pm
I put my boxers on back to front today.


The skids are on the front which may render them unsalvagable.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 24 December, 2009, 09:23:31 pm
I bet they don't smell as bad as Victoria Wood's belated return to TV sketch comedy.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: mogzilla on 24 December, 2009, 10:25:02 pm
i nearly fell off the ladder whilst retrieving pressies out of the attic today,not to bad but the attic door is right next to the bannister and i fel that way which would have been a bit of a bugger i can tell you.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 25 December, 2009, 03:25:01 pm
Home run is going smoothly but there's always a chance it could go wrong.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 25 December, 2009, 05:00:49 pm
Good luck Roger, I'm rooting for you.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 25 December, 2009, 06:38:50 pm
You go for it Roger.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 25 December, 2009, 11:27:20 pm
I put my boxers on back to front today.


The skids are on the front which may render them unsalvagable.

I once had to have my boxer shorts cracked off of me after a particular nasty bout of holiday gastro-enteritis and subsequent twelve hours conked-out-on-the-floor-of-a-tent. That was the king of all skiddies. They were like brown cardboard. Once they came off, me and a mate drove into Frejus and deposited them in a rubbish bin. He still laughs about this.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 27 December, 2009, 05:09:49 pm
Whilst at work last night I listened to a Black Library audio book, Thunder From Fenris by Nick Kyme. It's about the Space Wolves on Skorbad, a planet ravaged by war which just so happens to have a zombie plague as well.
Anyway I was thoroughly enjoying the story (Toby Longworth reads it) until the end. It has one of those open endings, which I absolutely detest.

The final scene is of one space wolf charging into battle against his blood brother who has sucuumbed to the wolfen curse. This is after three others have died on the journey towards this meeting. That's right it stopped as they charged each other!!!!!

I actually thought that something had gone wrong with the cd player and I also cleaned the disc, but to no avail that was the ending :thumbsdown:
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 27 December, 2009, 05:11:01 pm
I had to do the washing up. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 27 December, 2009, 05:13:48 pm
I had to do the washing up. 

I have that every Wednesday, just before or as I go into the chat room. It's a small price to pay I suppose for an evenings laughter.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 27 December, 2009, 06:06:39 pm
There were some minor impediments, but I can't for the life of me remember what they were!  :lol:
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 28 December, 2009, 11:23:44 pm
The brother went back to Oz today, and I never really had a chance to connect with him (for want of a better phrase).  I was madly busy for the first weeks he was here, then there was the endless round of relatives and in-laws we both had to get through over Christmas, and then he was off to the airport.  We sat at various dinner tables and discussed the numerous bodily fluids of our respective babies (they're just one month apart),  but we've never been close and we never really managed to talk.  It'll probably be several years before I see him and my niece again, and I can't help but feel I missed an opportunity.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 28 December, 2009, 11:55:30 pm
Has anyone noticed that the latest version of Firefox is inherently unstable and full of glitches ?

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 29 December, 2009, 12:16:37 am
Has anyone noticed that the latest version of Firefox is inherently unstable and full of glitches ?

Mine seems okay - you may have picked up a virus.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 31 December, 2009, 06:08:35 pm
I was back from work very early today (about 3) so I thought I'd take the opportunity to buy some new brake blocks. The first four bike shops I went to were all closed! Since when did Hogmanay become some sort of national day of idleness? Fortunately, the fifth one (and last on the way home) had some semblance of a work ethic.

I'm still in the bath.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: worldshown on 31 December, 2009, 06:11:58 pm
Has anyone noticed that the latest version of Firefox is inherently unstable and full of glitches ?



Firefox does tend to lock up once a day for me, but it still beats Internet Explorer opening multiple tabs by itself every 20 minutes.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 31 December, 2009, 07:50:43 pm
Has anyone noticed that the latest version of Firefox is inherently unstable and full of glitches ?



Firefox does tend to lock up once a day for me, but it still beats Internet Explorer opening multiple tabs by itself every 20 minutes.

There is an update available now but i havent bothered to install it yet.

Anything is better than Internet Explorer.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 31 December, 2009, 09:49:48 pm
... Because the drive holding all my DVD rips failed a couple of weeks ago and now the motherfucking DVD drive has packed up in the Mac Mini, leaving me with no option other than watch the pathetic pile of disgraceful shit that passes for tv tonight.

Jesus.

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 04 January, 2010, 07:48:12 pm
At least the girl in the Evony ads was real.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 04 January, 2010, 08:06:19 pm
I was going to make a serious and insightful post on another thread but backspaced all of it and then clicked back to "View Active Topics". Then I realized something: I was scared. I was scared to say something that wasn't coarse, inane, self-consciously incongruent or some combination of all three.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 04 January, 2010, 08:12:02 pm
Toughen the fuck up Krustofski!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 04 January, 2010, 08:13:50 pm
Those fuckers at Comet left a message on the answer machine today, whilst I was asleep, saying that the monitor I had paid for and should be collecting today will not be in until Thursday.
British retailing at it's fucking best. No bloody wonder I normally use the web >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 04 January, 2010, 08:28:04 pm
I was going to make a serious and insightful post on another thread but backspaced all of it and then clicked back to "View Active Topics". Then I realized something: I was scared. I was scared to say something that wasn't coarse, inane, self-consciously incongruent or some combination of all three.

Those fuckers at Comet left a message on the answer machine today, whilst I was asleep, saying that the monitor I had paid for and should be collecting today will not be in until Thursday.
British retailing at it's fucking best. No bloody wonder I normally use the web >:(

You think thats bad...


I went in one of those places for the first time a few years ago to buy something.I cant remember what i was buying but the place was the size of a fucking aircraft hanger and i had the intention of going in there and paying for whatever i was buying and then leaving the premises with it to take it home as you do and i was actually annoyed that i couldnt do this and was then expected to pay first and then have it delivered when i wanted it right there and then so i left without buying and went somewhere else.

You dont have to do this with Ikea so i dont see why i should have to do it with electrical goods unless the item i wanted was sold out but not because the shop doesnt actually stock anything other than display items.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 04 January, 2010, 09:04:48 pm
Those fuckers at Comet left a message on the answer machine today, whilst I was asleep

Hmm. My reaction is: I hope that didn't wake you up.

I went in one of those places for the first time a few years ago to buy something.

Maybe time to let it go?  :lol:

Quote
I cant remember what i was buying

Mmm. Definitely time then.

Quote
i was actually annoyed that i was then expected to pay first and then have it delivered when i wanted it right there and then. You dont have to do this with Ikea

No, but at Ikea even if you want something delivered, YOU have to go and collect it from the warehouse and take it to the delivery section, because it keeps costs down, but if you order online it just comes straight to your door at no extra cost. What's up with that??

Quote
so i dont see why i should have to do it with electrical goods unless the item i wanted was sold out but not because the shop doesnt actually stock anything other than display items.

Perhaps it's a 'show room.'
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 04 January, 2010, 09:18:57 pm
Those fuckers at Comet left a message on the answer machine today, whilst I was asleep

Hmm. My reaction is: I hope that didn't wake you up.

I went in one of those places for the first time a few years ago to buy something.

Maybe time to let it go?  :lol:

Quote
I cant remember what i was buying

Mmm. Definitely time then.

Quote
i was actually annoyed that i was then expected to pay first and then have it delivered when i wanted it right there and then. You dont have to do this with Ikea

No, but at Ikea even if you want something delivered, YOU have to go and collect it from the warehouse and take it to the delivery section, because it keeps costs down, but if you order online it just comes straight to your door at no extra cost. What's up with that??



I didnt say anything was up with having something delivered and my point was that i wanted to leave the shop with the object after paying for it.

Whats up with that ??
 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 05 January, 2010, 06:28:20 pm
I've just found out that the toy gun that comes when you pre-order Bayonetta won't be coming with the game on Friday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xINPjMxM0EI
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 05 January, 2010, 08:25:07 pm
The phone rang at 19:39 and when I answered it, it was a woman from Comet who was letting me know that my monitor was ready for collection. I asked her what time they close and she said "8 o'clock".
"See you soon" I replied and put the phone down.

OPERATION MAD DASH was a go!
"Sam get your boots on and grab your coat, we're off to Comet", I shouted at my son who was upstairs, (the wife was out swimming) whilst I grabbed my keys and the receipt.
Good job there wasn't much snow on the roads as the shop is on the other side of the town. I engaged first gear and moved smoothly through them until we hit Warp 9.9.
Luckily we made it with a couple of minutes to spare and what made me laugh the most was that they checked my receipt 3 times. Jesus Christ they had phoned me up and I had told them I was coming and when I got there I was the only customer in the shop and therefore was the only person here to pick up that monitor.
Sometimes I do wonder.
 
P.S. Why did they not phone me earlier or better still don't bother until the next day, if it came in that late!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dog Deever on 06 January, 2010, 01:12:42 am
After you had the monitor in hand, did you manage to crack off some 'you are stupid and shit' type comment before leaving?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 06 January, 2010, 01:12:33 pm
I got the Them Crooked Vultures CD for Xmas and its f****** awful and i dont have a receipt for it so i cant exchange it for something else.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 08 January, 2010, 11:33:20 pm
Looks like I've lost another fucking phone. I should just jump in front of a lorry now.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 09 January, 2010, 02:12:14 pm
I got the Them Crooked Vultures CD for Xmas and its f****** awful and i dont have a receipt for it so i cant exchange it for something else.

Give it a few listens, Peter. It's a grower.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 11 January, 2010, 05:18:09 pm
The Binmen finally emptied our recycling bin today and when I went to bring ours and the neighbours back onto our properties I noticed ours was 3/4 full still.
I rang the twats up and explained the situation, the bloke replied that I may have had something in the bin that I should not have.
I replied "No, we've not had the bin collected for nearly 4 weeks and so that means all the Christmas wrapping paper is in there, along with twice the amount that normally should be in it. This means it's all compressed, so we can actually use our bin. Here's an idea why don't your staff check the bin is empty when it comes back down or would that be too much to ask, that someone does their job properly!"
With this he said they would be round to do it later, well they fucking well haven't. Well done Maidstone Council for yet another SHIT service. Jesus fucking Christ I sometimes wonder how this county keeps going when it seems no fucker can be arsed to put 100% into their jobs nowadays.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 11 January, 2010, 05:20:41 pm
Nice cup of tea?  :)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 11 January, 2010, 05:29:49 pm
I don't drink tea or coffee or water. I shall have a Coke and relax ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 11 January, 2010, 08:59:12 pm
We haven't had our rubbish collected since 27th December.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 11 January, 2010, 09:10:49 pm
I have a frozen pipe and I've no idea where. Plus I'm absolutely hopeless at fixing things (apart from Visual Basic subroutines.)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: johnnystress on 11 January, 2010, 09:39:30 pm
yet again i buy a vintage shirt on ebay ...and find that it would only fit a starving jockey

was everyone tiny in the 50s? Ive seen pictures of Elvis- he looked like a big guy

dammit >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 12 January, 2010, 01:49:19 am
I'm sat in a cold storage depot helping out by doing some shunting. Problem is I'm on my 45 minute break bods keep coming up to me to ask me to move trailers only for me to explain the law about tacho breaks and that I can't until 02:00 or I can lose my licence and therefore my job.
They all know these rules, the bunch of twats.
I am able to start my break by law again each time someone asks me work related questions but I don't  ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: johnnystress on 12 January, 2010, 08:53:35 am
Freezing temperatures and not driving for the last week = flat battery
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 12 January, 2010, 06:13:53 pm
On the bus this morning the guy in front of me had a small gob of hair gel that he hadn't combed in properly on the back of his head. Bleurgh.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 January, 2010, 07:53:36 pm
I am totally fucking sick and tired of idiots who constantly run down my home town which is Hastings because its apparently a "depressed area".

This happened just 10 minutes ago when someone i was talking to criticised it and she hasnt even visited the fucking place !!

So she is just parroting cheap media talking points that you find in the Daily Mail so she got her head bitten off and so will anyone else who criticises it because i am fucking tired of it.Myself and my immediate family lived there for 20 years so i think i know a bit more about it than they do.



Arrogant Stupid annoying Twats.


GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...........
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 12 January, 2010, 08:02:47 pm
It's a good job you didn't watch 'Inside Out' on BBC 1 last night Peter.
30 minutes on the BNP in Hastings, me and the good wife laughed all the way through it. The Biased Broadcasting Corperation, just watching who they asked in the street what they thought said it all in the first few minutes.
See if it's on the iplayer and really get annoyed ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 January, 2010, 08:46:23 pm
It's a good job you didn't watch 'Inside Out' on BBC 1 last night Peter.
30 minutes on the BNP in Hastings, me and the good wife laughed all the way through it. The Biased Broadcasting Corperation, just watching who they asked in the street what they thought said it all in the first few minutes.
See if it's on the iplayer and really get annoyed ;)


Well it makes perfect sense to focus on Hastings if you are going to make a documentary about the BNP and the Underclass !!

WHERE else would you go ??

[sarcasm]

Their choice of interviewees was hardly what you would call a broad selection.It was all mostly filmed in St.Leonards but you will find the same social problems in any deprived area like St.Leonards but i have yet to read or watch anything in the media that is positive about Hastings and St.Leonards yet they all fall over themselves hyping up Brighton which in my opinion is an overpriced and overrated and filthy shithole.


Of course documentaries like this only perpetuate the negative image.

I get so sick of people sometimes.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 12 January, 2010, 08:48:28 pm
Yeh you have to stay away from Hastings. You are liable to lose an eye.









V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 12 January, 2010, 09:24:41 pm
Well it makes perfect sense to focus on Hastings if you are going to make a documentary about the BNP ...

Stems from deep-rooted guilt about their failure to resist the last lot of foreign devils...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Rog69 on 12 January, 2010, 11:28:36 pm
I have been in this house for six years now and hadn't had my heating serviced in all the time I have been here. last month I got it serviced even though it was working just fine. Last week we had the coldest day on record and my heating broke down.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: The Monarch on 13 January, 2010, 11:33:19 am
My shower broke down during christmas I stank for days it pissed me off. Its working now thank god
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 January, 2010, 12:48:39 pm
Well it makes perfect sense to focus on Hastings if you are going to make a documentary about the BNP ...

Stems from deep-rooted guilt about their failure to resist the last lot of foreign devils...

I dont think that the french invaders were eligable for a Council House.Did the Norman invaders get preferential treatment to the detriment of the indigenous population ?

Was there a Nationalist movement amongst the indigenous population of Serfs ?

"There be too many o them bleedin Frogs and they come over ere and take over ! I think its a bloody disgrace an they come over ere an they build their bloody castles an churches everywhere ! They int got no respect for our culture an i aint bleedin bowin an scrapin to them and that bloody William as they dont belong ere !"

I also dont know why the first wave of Norman invaders and the battle that took place is known as the battle of Hastings because it didnt take place in Hastings as it took place in Battle or what is now known as Battle so it should be known as the Battle of Battle.

As an interesting aside to that: The battlefield site is completely devoid of archeological evidence of the battle that took place.There has been next to nothing unearthed and there has been no mass graves discovered so either the historical account is wrong and it took place elsewhere or the site was picked clean and the dead were buried a good distance away and the mass graves havent been discovered yet.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 January, 2010, 01:29:28 pm
The battlefield site is completely devoid of archeological evidence of the battle that took place... so either the historical account is wrong and it took place elsewhere or the site was picked clean and the dead were buried a good distance away and the mass graves havent been discovered yet.

Maybe it took place in Hastings.  ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 13 January, 2010, 01:30:17 pm
As an interesting aside to that: The battlefield site is completely devoid of archeological evidence of the battle that took place.There has been next to nothing unearthed and there has been no mass graves discovered so either the historical account is wrong and it took place elsewhere or the site was picked clean and the dead were buried a good distance away and the mass graves havent been discovered yet.

I'm sure I read in the last couple of months that archeologists had finally pinpointed the site, and it wasn't any of the handful of possible sites that are usually put forward.

On second thoughts, that may have been another famous battle. One of the findings was that longbows weren't as crucial as previously assumed because they found more evidence of artillery and muskets, which seems a bit premature for 1066. May have been Bosworth Field? Where's our resident archeologist when you need him?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 13 January, 2010, 01:38:59 pm
I don't think there's much doubt about the site of Bosworth ... as I understand it, a very cursory turning over of the earth there will still often yield toe or finger bones ...

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 January, 2010, 01:42:06 pm
Where's our resident archeologist when you need him?

I think there are at least two.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 January, 2010, 01:43:03 pm
As an interesting aside to that: The battlefield site is completely devoid of archeological evidence of the battle that took place.There has been next to nothing unearthed and there has been no mass graves discovered so either the historical account is wrong and it took place elsewhere or the site was picked clean and the dead were buried a good distance away and the mass graves havent been discovered yet.

I'm sure I read in the last couple of months that archeologists had finally pinpointed the site, and it wasn't any of the handful of possible sites that are usually put forward.

On second thoughts, that may have been another famous battle. One of the findings was that longbows weren't as crucial as previously assumed because they found more evidence of artillery and muskets, which seems a bit premature for 1066. May have been Bosworth Field? Where's our resident archeologist when you need him?


http://66.102.9.132/search?q=cache:ZBUCPCbt0P4J:www.prlog.org/10425863-new-site-for-the-battle-of-hastings-uk-1066.html+battle+of+hastings+archeology&cd=5&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk&client=firefox-a

I didnt realise that but i just found this article after a search.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 13 January, 2010, 02:02:48 pm
Just done a search myself, and it WAS Bosworth I was thinking of:

Quote
Five centuries of searching for one of Britain's most significant battlefields has finally ended with the discovery of "extraordinary and unexpected" pieces of artillery in a Leicestershire field.

The finds near Market Bosworth at last pin down the notoriously "wandering site" of the battle that overthrew Richard III – the last English king to die at the head of an army – and established the Tudor dynasty and the modern state.

Full article  here (http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2009/oct/28/battle-bosworth-dig-leicestershire)

Looks like many battlefields are uncertain, or disputed over several sites.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 January, 2010, 06:03:40 pm
I feel like i have been cheated and lied to about the location of the Battle Of Hastings after reading the article i posted earlier.There is a school in the grounds of Battle Abbey that i went to and i was fascinated by the history and the alleged battle and i always used to re-imagine it all in my mind and i used to wander around the grounds and the alleged battlefield site.

There was also that nonsense about the boggy areas of the battlefield site where there was always rusty coloured water and mud present which was supposed to be the blood still in the soil left over from the battlefield when in fact it was leftovers of Iron age smelting of iron.

Goddamn historical revisionists.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 13 January, 2010, 06:28:54 pm
Sorry, sorry, for my part I was out digging up stuff for a change.  Very interesting article about Hastings - I was brought to Battle as a kid and have similar misty memories as Peter.  I have a very good friend who spent some years working on analysing the primary historical evidence for various (Irish) battlefields, and it was pretty shocking to hear how most 'known' locations were absolute fictions.  I've only ever dug at one supposed battlefield, and while it was great fun imagining sightlines, cover and crossing points, we found absolutely nothing.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 January, 2010, 02:03:35 am
This kind Ebay seller takes the time to explain to buyers what has gone on recently regarding Ebay record/vinyl auctions>


http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/JOY-DIVISION-UK-3-TRACK-12-45-ATMOSPHERE-2_W0QQitemZ180453668428QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Records?hash=item2a03e0764c


Ebays policy is absolutely Fucking stupid and like the buyer says its just ebay increasing its final value percentages.A little while ago i noticed that there were no longer any auctions for records on Ebay starting at 99p and i couldnt work it out.Ebay insists that the seller of a record has to offer free postage yet the postage is NOT FREE because the starting bid includes the buyers postage fees so postage is NOT FREE !!

Someone tell me i am wrong here !

How am i able as a buyer to accurately determine what i am being charged by the seller for postage of the item without emailing the seller ?

Why is it somehow reasonable that i am bidding on an item and effectively bidding on an unknown postage charge when a seller can start an auction with what could be a completely arbitary figure that includes "free" postage ?

As far as i know Royal Mail dont offer "Free" postage ?

Why have Ebay singled out vinyl auctions for this scam ?

Is it acceptable in any way for a buyer not to have postage and packaging costs clearly set out at the outset by the seller ??

What exactly is the sellers standard rate ?

Why should i comply with a system that makes it easier for less scrupulous sellers to overcharge for P+P ??

GGGGRRRRRRRRRR>...............
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 15 January, 2010, 09:59:38 am
I thought I'd lost my phone so I bought a replacement but then I hadn't lost it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 15 January, 2010, 02:50:04 pm
I've got the theme from Blue Peter stuck in my head.

Blue Peter, FFS.....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 15 January, 2010, 03:17:39 pm
I've got the theme from Blue Peter stuck in my head.

Blue Peter, FFS.....

Dammit, so have I now! Bastard!

I'm dreading seeing the state of my flat when I get home. Housing Association workmen arrived at 8am (Why do they need to start so damn early?) to begin work on a complete new kitchen and bathroom. They were ripping cupboards out when I left for work, and the entire contents of the kitchen, including fridge and cooker, are in the living room. However, after a few weeks of crappiness and disruption, we should have a lovely new kitchen and bathroom.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 January, 2010, 03:51:16 pm
I've got the theme from Blue Peter stuck in my head.

Blue Peter, FFS.....

Dammit, so have I now! Bastard!

I'm dreading seeing the state of my flat when I get home. Housing Association workmen arrived at 8am (Why do they need to start so damn early?) to begin work on a complete new kitchen and bathroom. They were ripping cupboards out when I left for work, and the entire contents of the kitchen, including fridge and cooker, are in the living room. However, after a few weeks of crappiness and disruption, we should have a lovely new kitchen and bathroom.

I hope that your builders are members of the considerate builders scheme !

I never start work at 8.00am if i am doing building work.No way as i dont do early starts.I always start about 10.00am and work right through until about 5.30 - 6.00 with no breaks apart from the odd 10 minutes.

It also shouldnt take a few weeks just to change a kitchen and bathroom either.Thats way too long.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 15 January, 2010, 03:59:05 pm
I've got the theme from Blue Peter stuck in my head.

Blue Peter, FFS.....

Dammit, so have I now! Bastard!

I'm dreading seeing the state of my flat when I get home. Housing Association workmen arrived at 8am (Why do they need to start so damn early?) to begin work on a complete new kitchen and bathroom. They were ripping cupboards out when I left for work, and the entire contents of the kitchen, including fridge and cooker, are in the living room. However, after a few weeks of crappiness and disruption, we should have a lovely new kitchen and bathroom.

I hope that your builders are members of the considerate builders scheme !

I never start work at 8.00am if i am doing building work.No way as i dont do early starts.I always start about 10.00am and work right through until about 5.30 - 6.00 with no breaks apart from the odd 10 minutes.

It also shouldnt take a few weeks just to change a kitchen and bathroom either.Thats way too long.

Most builders in my experience do seem to start work at 8, and knock off about 4, I've no idea why - I'd much rather hire a late starter like you! The electrician actually showed up closer to 7.30 to shut the power off ready for the builders! They've advised 20 working days, including decorating and finishing off. It does involve some structural work (there are large concrete built-in closets that are being removed to incraese the size of the room), extensive plumbing, rewiring, a lowered ceiling and lots of tiling, so it's more than just fitted units.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 15 January, 2010, 04:00:01 pm
Glad I could help DDD! :)

In my previous existence on site, 8am was the latest. But we started as early as 5:30 and finished at 11pm on some projects!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 15 January, 2010, 04:22:22 pm
In my previous existence on site, 8am was the latest. But we started as early as 5:30 and finished at 11pm on some projects!

Yup, 8 is a pretty late start - even in winter a lot of sites kick off at 7.00am, worse luck - I was peering into impenetrable gloom the last three days from 7 until nearly 9am.  That said, over here Planning Permission in residential areas frequently includes maximum hours of work, usually 8-6, and  no Sundays or Public Holidays, for which I am most grateful.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 15 January, 2010, 09:24:44 pm
I thought I'd lost my phone so I bought a replacement but then I hadn't lost it.

Good job you didn't jump off a bridge, then.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 15 January, 2010, 09:42:21 pm
This kind Ebay seller takes the time to explain to buyers what has gone on recently regarding Ebay record/vinyl auctions>


http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/JOY-DIVISION-UK-3-TRACK-12-45-ATMOSPHERE-2_W0QQitemZ180453668428QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Records?hash=item2a03e0764c


Ebays policy is absolutely Fucking stupid and like the buyer says its just ebay increasing its final value percentages.A little while ago i noticed that there were no longer any auctions for records on Ebay starting at 99p and i couldnt work it out.Ebay insists that the seller of a record has to offer free postage yet the postage is NOT FREE because the starting bid includes the buyers postage fees so postage is NOT FREE !!

Someone tell me i am wrong here !

How am i able as a buyer to accurately determine what i am being charged by the seller for postage of the item without emailing the seller ?

Why is it somehow reasonable that i am bidding on an item and effectively bidding on an unknown postage charge when a seller can start an auction with what could be a completely arbitary figure that includes "free" postage ?

As far as i know Royal Mail dont offer "Free" postage ?

Why have Ebay singled out vinyl auctions for this scam ?

Is it acceptable in any way for a buyer not to have postage and packaging costs clearly set out at the outset by the seller ??

What exactly is the sellers standard rate ?

Why should i comply with a system that makes it easier for less scrupulous sellers to overcharge for P+P ??

GGGGRRRRRRRRRR>...............

I tried to sell a mobile phone and ebay insisted that I sell it with free P+P. There was no way I could put a price for postage for the item without putting it in the description only so I fucked it off.







V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 16 January, 2010, 12:53:33 am
My balls are well itchy. They feel like they are on fire. If I start scratching I will bleed.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 16 January, 2010, 12:54:21 am
Trim your nails ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 16 January, 2010, 11:54:09 am
My balls are well itchy. They feel like they are on fire. If I start scratching I will bleed.

Spoken like the true Proustian scholar.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 16 January, 2010, 04:25:06 pm
Just got back from Morrisons with Sam after another confrontation in the car park. As we left the front of the shop ready for our long trek to where I parked the car, I noticed a massive 4x4 reverse into one of the disabled bays near the entrance. Whilst walking to our car I kept looking back to see who got out, no one did. By the time I had got to our car I had decided to have a closer look, so I drove over and noticed it was just a bloke sat at the wheel.
 Bollocks to this I thought, I quickly set my phone to camera and climbed out. As I lined the shot up he started to drive off, that is until I stood in front of the bumper.
I approached the drivers window, "Where's your blue card mate?"
"I'm just waiting for my father" he replied.
"So, that doesn't mean you can park here!"
"He won't be long, he's just getting some stuff"
"Well mate if you think it's alright why did you start to drive off when you saw me line up my camera on you? I'll tell you why, coz you're a lazy twat who couldn't give a toss about anyone else. My son has a disability and we don't use the spaces (we don't have a badge and we don't need one but it always makes them fluster) so why don't you just go and find another bloody space!"
With that he drove off to the other side of the car park. By this time a crowd of shoppers had stopped to watch the event unfold, as I do like to raise my voice in a situation like this as it brings more shame on the lawbreaker.

Anyway I feel happy now ;)

It really pisses me off, there was nothing wrong with the bloke, he was just another lazy twat who thinks he's above the law. So what if there are a few empty spaces near the store front it doesn't give anyone the right to use them just because they are empty, they are for people who have a hard time in life as it is.
I believe anyione caught doing something like this should have a leg amputated so they can use these bays in the future and if not that a bloody big fine instead.
LAZY TWATS >:D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 16 January, 2010, 06:30:17 pm
I'm with you releasing your inner Dredd there, CF.  Well, right up to the bit about amputation.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 16 January, 2010, 06:32:58 pm
Well I did say a big fine if not that ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 16 January, 2010, 07:17:36 pm
My LOST season 5 box set that Mrs Tips bought me for Christmas finally turns up yesterday but it's bloody Region 1.

Now I'm going to have to find a code to unlock the DVD player.

Bah!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 16 January, 2010, 07:22:01 pm
Did you tell her off?

Or was it the packers mistake ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Rog69 on 16 January, 2010, 08:07:09 pm
I just walked up to the local shop (instead of driving because I need the exercise) and I got all the way to the counter with my milk when I realised I had left my wallet at home. I walked home and drove back to the shop and got my milk and then ripped my new jeans getting back into the car.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 16 January, 2010, 09:32:47 pm
I just walked up to the local shop (instead of driving because I need the exercise) and I got all the way to the counter with my milk when I realised I had left my wallet at home. I walked home and drove back to the shop and got my milk and then ripped my new jeans getting back into the car.

Should have walked there Rog.







V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Buttonman on 17 January, 2010, 12:39:43 pm
Regarding the eBay thing, I kind of agree with the policy. In the old system people used to sell DVDs for 1p but with P&P at £2.95. eBay gets nothing of the post charges and were kind of taking it up the ass on these kind of deals. At least with the new system you can place a bid for what you are willing to pay to own the listed item, all costs included, and you won't get any nasty surprises after the fact.

That said as a seller it's not so good as you know no one is going to pay £1.50 for that Nick Hancock 'Goals and Goofs' DVD mother got me so it'll gather dust and scorn for ever more.



Minor impediments? Lets see... laptop had to be reformatted and I lost the last year of non-backed up letters data. Oh well a joyous retread is on the cards.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mikey on 17 January, 2010, 01:01:06 pm
Quote
I noticed a massive 4x4 reverse into one of the disabled bays

Are you sure it wasn't Logan?  :)

Minor impediment - lost a hub cap off the car the other day. Makes it look cheap!

M.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 17 January, 2010, 04:03:34 pm
I just walked up to the local shop (instead of driving because I need the exercise) and I got all the way to the counter with my milk when I realised I had left my wallet at home. I walked home and drove back to the shop and got my milk and then ripped my new jeans getting back into the car.

There's a moral there somewhere...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 17 January, 2010, 08:06:51 pm
Lark Rise to Candleford is on. My partner just informed me that Judi Dench isn't in it, and that Cranford and Lark Rise to Candleford are two different programmes. I'm now confused, because I don't know what I've watched and what I haven't, and what is the necessity for both programmes to be made by the BBC.

She has reminded me that it was my bloody choice to watch the damn things anyway, having avoided both (like the plague) up until December 2009.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 17 January, 2010, 08:45:36 pm
My partner just informed me that Judi Dench isn't in it, and that Cranford and Lark Rise to Candleford are two different programmes.

That's quite funny.  We just caught the beginning of tonight's episode, and I said to the wife, "Wife", I said, "It's a pity we haven't been watching this, I think it's got Judi Dench and Imelda Staunton in it, and they're always good".  After 10 minutes of sweating postmen and a lot of talk about a Bishop, we put a House DVD in instead.  At least I know Hugh Laurie's in that.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 17 January, 2010, 08:49:00 pm
In our house it went off at ten past eight because we realized it wasn't the good one, and that finished at Christmas.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 17 January, 2010, 08:58:52 pm
Dear Sir or Madam*,

*What do you mean "madam"?
Oh, I'm sorry, I have a cold.

I wish to protest in the strongest possible terms about your irresponsible claim, which I reproduce below:

we put a House DVD in instead.  At least I know Hugh Laurie's in that.

On the basis of said recommendation, I purchased the following DVD:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/House-DVD/dp/B000CEGU0S/ref=sr_1_22?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1263761508&sr=8-22

Imagine my dismay upon discovering that Mr Laurie does not -- as you CLAIM -- appear in this motion picture at all. Nor did he direct or write said piece of cinematic expression. Nor did he even compose the soundtrack. In fact, I believe that it is safe to say that Mr Hugh Laurie is IN NO WAY involved with this filmic diversion.

I await your proposed remedy in response to this catastrophic piece of misinformation perpetrated by you in respect of this matter.

Yours, &c

Outraged of Nottingham
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 17 January, 2010, 09:09:48 pm
Lark Rise to Candleford is on. My partner just informed me that Judi Dench isn't in it, and that Cranford and Lark Rise to Candleford are two different programmes. I'm now confused, because I don't know what I've watched and what I haven't, and what is the necessity for both programmes to be made by the BBC.

Well there's only ever been seven episodes of Cranford, and that's including the two just shown at Christmas.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 17 January, 2010, 09:17:30 pm
Yes. I make that seven in all. I thought there was a chance Lark Rise to Candleford might be any good, but it wasn't.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 17 January, 2010, 09:56:18 pm
CF: I absolutely agree. As you may know, I work with adults with disabilities, and it pisses me off no end to see non-blue-badgers in blue-badger bays.

Though that said, I do now see you gesticulating wildly as he drove, turning to the massed onlookers and shouting "I AM the LAW!!", then arresting them for peeping.

Jim: You've made me want to watch House agan. The proper House, not that tv thing with Hugh Laurie. The bit when he's killed the Miss Ashby monster (All Saints Junior School injoke there- the prosthetic woman who looks a bit like Aughura from the Dark Crystal) and starts to bury the bits, and the music kicks in- that's one of my defining cinema memories from the mid eighties, that is. Love it. Though House II is better, madder, funnier, and has a man falling over a bush, who looks EXACTLY like my firend Chris (who has been known from that very moment til this very day as "Chris Bushman"). Why is it nearly £30 though on Amazon? Surely it's about a pound isn't it by now?

Generally: I had no idea Cranford and Lark Rise to Candleford were different shows! How odd, you do indeed learn something new every day.

SBT

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 17 January, 2010, 10:02:20 pm
She can't tell them about the other part yet.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Rog69 on 17 January, 2010, 11:58:02 pm
There's a moral there somewhere...

Yes, it's don't buy £6 jeans from Asda.



I love Lark rise to Cranford, I've never watched a minute of it but the wife goes nuts for anything like that so I get a guaranteed hour of quality time with my PC or whatever :)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 18 January, 2010, 11:22:21 am
Funnily enough, last night was the first time I saw any of this Candleford/Carnford thing- and 10 minutes of Brian from Spaced going on about a Bishop was enough for me.
I played Lego Indiana Jones instead.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bolt-01 on 18 January, 2010, 11:54:43 am
When you should have been toning that strip instead.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 18 January, 2010, 12:03:18 pm
When you should have been toning that strip instead.



I would have- but Bou was creating another masterpiece at the time...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 18 January, 2010, 02:54:44 pm
Thanks entirely to this thread, I just bought House in a shop in Hastings. For, as I predicted, a pound. However, the "minor impediment" is that they also had the new Friday the 13th- which I've seen and wasn't impressed with, also for a pound. So I bought that too. So I spent two pounds, when I could have only spent one.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 18 January, 2010, 02:56:02 pm
I bought that too. So I spent two pounds, when I could have only spent one.

You flash bugger ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 18 January, 2010, 03:25:28 pm
10 minutes of Brian from Spaced

OF COURSE! I saw the trailer and it was bugging me who that was!

which I've seen and wasn't impressed with ..... So I bought that too.
I don't get this - Why would you buy a film you weren't impressed with? Considering all the other DVDs, videos, books, records and comics you probably own, not to mention all the  new stuff constantly coming out, will you honestly EVER play this DVD?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 18 January, 2010, 04:45:58 pm

which I've seen and wasn't impressed with ..... So I bought that too.
I don't get this - Why would you buy a film you weren't impressed with? Considering all the other DVDs, videos, books, records and comics you probably own, not to mention all the  new stuff constantly coming out, will you honestly EVER play this DVD?

It's a Friday the 13th movie- so therefore I legally have to own it, to keep my membership status of the "Lifelong Fan" club. I may have to send back my furry Jason badge with moving googly eyes if I hadn't bought it. I just wasn't going to pay full price for it- but a pound, well, I'd be silly not to. I rented it previously, but didn't watch all the special features, so it's worth it for that alone. In fact, I may watch them tonight.

The F13 series, while being undoubtedly crap, is very important to me. Part 3 ("in...3D!", but not) was in the very first batch of horror films I ever saw, down my mate's house, in 1984. I've loved them ever since, and always wear a hockey mask badge on my coat. Oh, and my wife was allegedly in the club-set crowd scenes in Jason Takes Manhattan. Me and Jasey-baby have history, from the early days of my friend and I making up "Barry Norman interviews Jason" skits in the back of school exercise books (every answer Jason gave was "bum") to drawing pictures of Jase asleep in his bush, with his teddy, to writing 'Friday the 13th part 312: Jase In Space' years before Jason X, and shooting a short homage while at college.

As I say, they are of course, bollocks. Though, I'd happily claim Part 4 to be a gloriously nasty movie and the opening sequence/ titles of Part 6 never, ever, fails to make me laugh. The new one, dismal though it is, is perfectly acceptable for all that. If it was great, it wouldn't be an F13 movie. Though Jason re-imagined as Andy Pipkin was a little hard to take.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 18 January, 2010, 05:35:36 pm
Yep, welcome to the world of "cult" and "fandom" where, if we think something is "utter shit" we'll only watch it maybe ten or twenty times.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 18 January, 2010, 05:59:02 pm
Fair enough! I'm just coming to the conclusion that life's too short for DVDs. I've got a shelf full and hardly ever watch any of them. And I've never gotten around to the massive re-read of 30+ years of progs I've got stacked up, never mind the Shelf of Unread Novels and Non-Fiction. If the entertainment industries would just STOP MAKING NEW SHIT for a year, I may have a (small) chance of actually catching up!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 18 January, 2010, 07:08:48 pm
I may have to send back my furry Jason badge with moving googly eyes if I hadn't bought it.

Exquisite image, Steev!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 18 January, 2010, 07:10:05 pm
If the entertainment industries would just STOP MAKING NEW SHIT for a year, I may have a (small) chance of actually catching up!

And with this, sir, I pledge my allegiance! Oh yes, I've often felt the same. I collect DVDs for "the library"- for that far-off time when the kids have grown up and we'e got endless hours with nothing to do. As if that'll ever happen.

My personal stack of unwatched/ unread stuff if preeeetty high!

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 18 January, 2010, 08:44:39 pm
10 minutes of Brian from Spaced

OF COURSE! I saw the trailer and it was bugging me who that was!

In our house he's called Mark Heap.  ;)

(Because that's his name)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 18 January, 2010, 09:08:39 pm
10 minutes of Brian from Spaced

OF COURSE! I saw the trailer and it was bugging me who that was!

In our house he's called Mark Heap.  ;)

(Because that's his name)

Well in our house he's Brian from Spaced!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 18 January, 2010, 09:15:38 pm
Well in our house he's Brian from Spaced!

 :D


I do quite agree though about having at times wished the entertainment industry would just STOP so I could catch up. If not stop altogether, at least it could prioritise: you know, stop making crap films and publishing crap books and just make good ones and not too many of them. But I know that's unrealistic and a bit selfish. Especially as I would dearly love to add to the spew of literary output myself, and I plan to. One day.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Colin YNWA on 18 January, 2010, 09:41:02 pm
What not Statham off of Green Wing - guess our house is doing something wrong...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Satanist on 19 January, 2010, 09:01:55 am
I slipped on some ice last week fell on my arse and slid about 10 feet down a hill while spinning uncontrollably. I didn't hurt myself and actually quite enjoyed it, the only person to see this was my 2 year old son who found it hilarious.

However I now keep thinking back to it and wishing that there had been someone there to video it as it was probably the most spectacular fall I'll ever have that didn't kill me.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 19 January, 2010, 01:01:40 pm
To me he shall always be the guy who has Bad Aids.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 19 January, 2010, 08:32:13 pm
To me Mark Heap will always be The Actor Kevin Eldon.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 19 January, 2010, 09:01:19 pm
I fucking hate Gok Wan.
He's a patronising cunt and having to watch him move his exploitation wagon on to the disabled has made me quite annoyed.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 19 January, 2010, 09:05:40 pm
I fucking hate Gok Wan.
He's a patronising cunt and having to watch him move his exploitation wagon on to the disabled has made me quite annoyed.

Is he feeling their tits, too?

Cheers

Jim
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 19 January, 2010, 09:41:12 pm
I fucking hate Gok Wan.
He's a patronising cunt and having to watch him move his exploitation wagon on to the disabled has made me quite annoyed.

As a lady person I find his apparent inability to say the word 'breasts' and subsequent replacement of it with childish slang terms exceptionally irritating
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 19 January, 2010, 10:18:55 pm
Well some of those sentiments about Gok are indeed understandable.

I do, however, like his ability to (seemingly) uplift people without the need for surgery, liposuction, botox etc. and without the need for the latest mega must have fashion accessories which most makeover shows tend to insist upon.  He does give the impression of trying to see the inner you and make the most of what you've got.

At least that's my impression from catching a couple of shows so possibly all wrong.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Tiplodocus on 19 January, 2010, 10:20:21 pm
Fucknuggets.

I'm not going to be able to make HI-EX this year after all.

1001 things have just piled outgoing upon cost upon outgoing and I can't really justify a £200 weekend for just little old me.

I'll start a layaway plan for next year.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 19 January, 2010, 10:24:28 pm
I like his warmth and humanity. But I've seen enough of Gok Wan to last a lifetime, so can't imagine myself ever needing to see another of his programmes.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 19 January, 2010, 10:38:29 pm
Cock Wank is only annoying to us men because he gets paid for doing what we all want to do, go around feeling women's tits.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 20 January, 2010, 09:13:11 am
The kitchen/bathroom work is progressing slowly - I've found out why it's scheduled to take so long - it's because there's one job per day scheduled, that all need to be done in order. Sometimes they show up at 8 and the job only takes half an hour and that's it for the day. None of the workmen know anything about any of the other workmen or jobs and the system seems to be breaking down already (it's only day 4).

Today was supposed to be demolishing the brick and concrete built-in cupboards, but they sent a joiner who was expecting to be ripping out kitchen units (which was done on day 1). Just as well really, as I'm off work feeling like death and was not looking forward to drilling and chiselling all day. They may be back later, it's anybody's guess.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 20 January, 2010, 01:11:23 pm
Air Miles want to charge me £30 to cash in my miles.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bolt-01 on 20 January, 2010, 01:49:43 pm
Tips- that's shit, was looking forward to catching up with you.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Proudhuff on 20 January, 2010, 02:14:55 pm
Fucknuggets.

I'm not going to be able to make HI-EX this year after all.

1001 things have just piled outgoing upon cost upon outgoing and I can't really justify a £200 weekend for just little old me.

I'll start a layaway plan for next year.

That's a shame, how about a day trip? Come dressed as the terminator to get in free, bring sanies, cadge drinks(I'd buy you a couple), the train's less than £20 or Megabus for a quid ? sell some of that merchendise on ebay!!

Come on peoples we can sort this!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 20 January, 2010, 03:43:09 pm
Last week, in an effort to finally watch the tail end of Battlestar Galactica, I ordered Razor, Season 4 and The Final Season. Imagine my surprise when I discovered Razor is actually on disc 1 of the Season 4 box set, rendering the standalone disc rather pointless. Cockbiscuits. Ah well, at least I only paid three quid-odd for it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 20 January, 2010, 03:56:12 pm
Last week, in an effort to finally watch the tail end of Battlestar Galactica, I ordered Razor, Season 4 and The Final Season. Imagine my surprise when I discovered Razor is actually on disc 1 of the Season 4 box set, rendering the standalone disc rather pointless. Cockbiscuits. Ah well, at least I only paid three quid-odd for it.
Freaky coincidence time - I just ordered the season 4 and final season box sets today, I hadn't heard of Razor and almost ordered that too, but checked the customer reviews and found it was included. I almost ordered Galactica 1980 by mistake though, cos it seemed to have a picture of the new ship on the cover. Then I actually noticed the date in the title.

I've just today got to the end of a marathon trawl through seasons 1-3, and now I'm off to cut the corners off all my books and papers.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 20 January, 2010, 03:59:58 pm
now I'm off to cut the corners off all my books and papers.

I always thought how environmentally unfriendly when I saw all those items with the corners cut off.
Perhaps they had the prices on each corner, you know like the old annuals ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 22 January, 2010, 06:03:53 pm
I just watched that Santander advert with Lewis Hamilton and the Lego bridge. WHY was he not wearing a hard hat on that bloody building site, where are Health and Safety when you need them!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Jared Katooie on 22 January, 2010, 09:25:53 pm
I was all set to watch Idiocracy, but my DVD player won't play it. I didn't want to see it as much as Sword of Vengeance (which also didn't work) but I'm still pretty dissapointed.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 23 January, 2010, 07:23:27 pm
One burst condom = €75 down the drain (morning after pill (€15) has to be prescribed by a doctor (€60) in this tin-pot jurisdiction).  I'd like to see the government's cost benefit analysis on that approach to 'family planning'.  Ah well, i suppose it's XXL for me from now on.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 23 January, 2010, 07:35:48 pm
Don't brag TB!

Does it really cost €60 just to see a GP? What if you're ill and skint?

I'm pissed off 'cos I was supposed to be seeing that Ian Dury movie tonight, but I'm just recovering from flu and I've got a hacking cough that wouldn't go down well in a cinema, so I'm giving it a miss.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 23 January, 2010, 07:36:03 pm
Bad luck for Mrs Tordelback, all questions of cost aside.

We were talking about Family Planning services in the Wednesday night chat only last week. I was once again vociferously deploring NHS family planning nurses' and doctors' knowledge of barrier methods of contraception, which they apparently don't use themselves. Hence their unfamiliarity with issues of texture, flavour (personally I find mint ones particularly revolting), size ("oh, aren't they all the same?") and expiration dates.

I count myself fortunate, though, never to have had one break.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 23 January, 2010, 08:28:16 pm
Last summer I was playing in my garden with the kids tearing up and down at great speed. My garden is staged at different levels with railway sleepers. On a return sprint I smashed my foot against one. Bear in mind I was bare footed. Excruciating pain was had by all.
All this week I have been suffering severe stabbing pains along the bone of my big toe. Methinks I have fractured the bastard.






V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 23 January, 2010, 10:42:51 pm
I ate the whole pot.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 24 January, 2010, 11:30:01 am
Bad luck for Mrs Tordelback, all questions of cost aside.

We were talking about Family Planning services in the Wednesday night chat only last week. I was once again vociferously deploring NHS family planning nurses' and doctors' knowledge of barrier methods of contraception, which they apparently don't use themselves. Hence their unfamiliarity with issues of texture, flavour (personally I find mint ones particularly revolting), size ("oh, aren't they all the same?") and expiration dates.

I count myself fortunate, though, never to have had one break.

Ah, don't get me started on the NHS (he says, at the risk of sounding like a crazed yank)- or more especially the receptionists that guard our GP surgery like demons at the doors to Satan's holiday home.

One example among many: I was prescibed medication for something. When I received the medication, it was the wrong dosage- about half. The booklet said "on no account double your dosage". I phoned the surgery and was told that the GP could under no circumstances speak to me today and that I should instead (you guessed it) double the dosage.

I complained about that.

Then, a few weks later, I took my youngest son to the hospital for some tests, and was told, quite clearly (and given a letter to the same end) that the GP surgery would provide me with the apparatus I needed to do our end of the tests. I took the letter into the surgery, asked for the apparatus, and was refused- by the woman I'd complained about. She said "we never give it out, you have to get it from the hospital". I pointed out the letter, where it said in black and white, that they would- and the timescales concerned (which meant it was vital to do it in the next few hours)- at which point I must have furrowed my brow, because she backed off, shut the glass and made a complaint that I had "become abusive"! I really hadn't- and can only assume that this was straightforward revenge for my earlier complaint.

I spoke to the GP about this later- and from his reaction, I can only assume he thought the same, because nothing further came of it.

I'd change my surgery- but frankly, I believe them to all be the same.

SBT
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 24 January, 2010, 10:17:20 pm
The night before last i chewed out an author of a book in a comments section of a website and now i feel guilty about doing so because i didnt really hear out what he had to say but what i did hear or see quoted i totally disagreed with so the guilt that i have for attacking him is a bit irrational but even so i still feel compelled to contact the author and explain what i mean.I just wish i had made my point a bit less aggressively because it might have been a good debate.

Perhaps it doesnt matter.Not sure right now......
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 25 January, 2010, 01:36:56 am
Some chancer today I am told was ringing all the door buzzers, requesting access as he claimed to be one of the builders working on the block refurb and that he did something wrong and urgently had to repair it. Well Mr Fuckhead, the builders don't work here on weekends, they have keys and if they wanted to gain access out of hours or didn't have keys with them they would have contacted me. Chancer parasite gave a name which is not the name of any of the builders. He had a hood up and was getting agitated when he was refused entry, thankfully due to one vigilant tenant but I shudder to think that someone else might've just let him in as some people don't have their wits about them (eg tenants here who often leave things in their car on show). I put a note through everyone's door in the block telling them not to fall for that trick. Let's hope this stays in 'minor impediments' and not 'Life spugs'. Fucking burglar chancer.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: locustsofdeath! on 25 January, 2010, 07:43:14 am
My wife is only four months removed from her 7 month deployment in Afghanistan and the Air Force mistakenly put her on the list to be deployed again in two weeks. We got the news on Friday that she was to be redeployed and had to wait two agonizing days to find out this morning it was a mistake - two days thinking she would be going out there again. Fucking military.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 25 January, 2010, 08:10:53 am
We got the news on Friday that she was to be redeployed and had to wait two agonizing days to find out this morning it was a mistake

Holy crepe, Locusts, what a horrible way to spend a weekend.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 25 January, 2010, 08:12:43 am
The good old military, remember you are not a human being you are a number >:D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 25 January, 2010, 10:43:25 am
1. Client asks for a quantity of printing we don't offer, so we reduce the price on a larger batch of leaflets for them.

2. After the job is done and ready to despatch, the client informs us the initial artwork contains two errors - present in their original copy. We make the corrections and do a reprint for free (to keep them sweet) and put it in the production queue on Friday.

3. So with a reduced price and a free reprint, we're losing money. Oh well.

4. Now, after all that, the client "needs" them delivered tomorrow and is kicking up a fuss. Gah.

M@



3. We kindly of
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mikey on 25 January, 2010, 04:27:13 pm
Yesterday, I was all set to make a Rogan Josh only to discover I'd forgotten it needed yoghurt, of which we had none - and I was only back from the shops. There was some creme fraiche in the fridge, which may have done the job at a push but it was out of date.

I made a Madras instead.

M.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 25 January, 2010, 04:44:48 pm
Quote
but it was out of date.

Wimp.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Hoagy on 25 January, 2010, 05:46:33 pm
I was not going to order a curry tonight thinking about the old health and the guilt of lazy spendthrift-ness. Then I go on my favorite website and some bloody bloke's talking about various currys in a bit of a tasty descriptive. And I lost the will to abstain. Dietwrecking mofo. I'll be ordering a lovely spinach one and a madras one to combine with it as soon as I can be bothered to phone. Thanks. Thanks a lot.;-)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 25 January, 2010, 08:15:01 pm
Mum owes me £10.

You give me your number, I call you up
You act like your pussy don't interrupt
I don't have no trouble with you fucking me
But I have a little problem wit you not fucking me
Baby you know I'm gonna take care of you
Cause you say you got my baby, and I know it ain't true
Is it a good thing? no its bad bitch
For good or worse, makes you switch
So I walk on over with my crystal
Bitches, niggas put away your pistols
Dirty wont be having it in this house
Cause bitch I'll cripple your style
Now that you heard my calm voice
You couldn't get another nigga, hoochie wont get moist
If you wanna look good and not be bummy, girl you better give me that money
Aooow...

[hook: Kelis]
Hey, dirty, baby I got your money
Don't your worry, I said hey.
Baby I got your money
[X2]

[verse 2:]
Yo! so I glanced at the girls, girls glanced at me
I whispered in their ear, wanna be with me?
You wanna look pretty though, in my video
Ol' dirty on the hat and I let you all know
Just dance! if you caught up in the holy ghost trance
If you stop! I'm gonna put the killer ants in your pants
I'm the O-D-B as you can see
Every eye, don't you be watching me
I don't want no problems cause I put you down
In the ground where you can not be found
I'm just dirt dog trying to make sum bunny
So give me my streaks and give me my honey
Radio, yes all day, everyday
Recognize I'm a fool and ya love me!
None of you nmph better look at me funny
Nmph you know my name now give me my money!

[hook X2]
Dirty: sing it, sing it girls! (during hook)
Just shake it right now!
Somebody else: if dirty want his money
I think you all should give him his money
Dirty: that's how I like girl

Sexy, sexy, sexy!
Sexy, sexy, sexy!

Sexy, sexy, sexy!
Sexy, sexy, sexy!

[verse 3:]
Yo, yo!
Nigga playing in the club like this all night
Bitches put your ass out let me hold it tight
You looking at my wrist saying "its so nice"
The price bitch is diamonds shining disco light
You better help me solve this problem
Or I'm gonna get this money and rob them
Lucky dig when I won the lotto
Ran up on my car for carrying (ryllos?)
You can call me dirty, and then lift up your skirt
And you want some of this dirty, god made dirt and dirt bust yo ass
Stop annoying me, yeah! I play my music loud
It takes the bastard ol' dirty, to move the crowd
They say he had his dick in his mouth
Eddie Murphy told me that back in the house
But give me my money!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 25 January, 2010, 08:22:29 pm
Mum owes me £10.





You give me your number, I call you up
You act like your pussy don't interrupt
I don't have no trouble with you fucking me
But I have a little problem wit you not fucking me
Baby you know I'm gonna take care of you
Cause you say you got my baby, and I know it ain't true
Is it a good thing? no its bad bitch
For good or worse, makes you switch
So I walk on over with my crystal
Bitches, niggas put away your pistols
Dirty wont be having it in this house
Cause bitch I'll cripple your style
Now that you heard my calm voice
You couldn't get another nigga, hoochie wont get moist
If you wanna look good and not be bummy, girl you better give me that money
Aooow...

[hook: Kelis]
Hey, dirty, baby I got your money
Don't your worry, I said hey.
Baby I got your money
[X2]

[verse 2:]
Yo! so I glanced at the girls, girls glanced at me
I whispered in their ear, wanna be with me?
You wanna look pretty though, in my video
Ol' dirty on the hat and I let you all know
Just dance! if you caught up in the holy ghost trance
If you stop! I'm gonna put the killer ants in your pants
I'm the O-D-B as you can see
Every eye, don't you be watching me
I don't want no problems cause I put you down
In the ground where you can not be found
I'm just dirt dog trying to make sum bunny
So give me my streaks and give me my honey
Radio, yes all day, everyday
Recognize I'm a fool and ya love me!
None of you nmph better look at me funny
Nmph you know my name now give me my money!

[hook X2]
Dirty: sing it, sing it girls! (during hook)
Just shake it right now!
Somebody else: if dirty want his money
I think you all should give him his money
Dirty: that's how I like girl

Sexy, sexy, sexy!
Sexy, sexy, sexy!

Sexy, sexy, sexy!
Sexy, sexy, sexy!

[verse 3:]
Yo, yo!
Nigga playing in the club like this all night
Bitches put your ass out let me hold it tight
You looking at my wrist saying "its so nice"
The price bitch is diamonds shining disco light
You better help me solve this problem
Or I'm gonna get this money and rob them
Lucky dig when I won the lotto
Ran up on my car for carrying (ryllos?)
You can call me dirty, and then lift up your skirt
And you want some of this dirty, god made dirt and dirt bust yo ass
Stop annoying me, yeah! I play my music loud
It takes the bastard ol' dirty, to move the crowd
They say he had his dick in his mouth
Eddie Murphy told me that back in the house
But give me my money!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 25 January, 2010, 09:54:52 pm
Mum owes me £10.

Kelis me arse, what you need to be listening to is this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXFBYrRIeNw
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Rog69 on 25 January, 2010, 10:28:22 pm
I was told that there was bacon.

"I'm going to my mum's for the day with the girls, there is bacon in the fridge" she said before I left for work on Sunday.

I got home after 12 hours of work spent constantly thinking about the pile of bacon sarnies I would make for my tea, to be enjoyed in an otherwise empty house, accompanied by wine and Playstation.

When I opened the fridge there was no bacon to be found. I looked again as I have a long history of not looking properly but still it evaded me. I even looked a third time, behind all the yoghurt on the top shelf, yet still there was no bacon.

The only other thing I could find to eat was a tin of Disney Princess pasta shapes, so I had that on toast.

My wife and kids returned home soon after, summoned as ever by the "on" button of my magic Playstation. I raised the issue of the Bacon only to be escorted to the fridge and shown the bacon and to be reminded by my wife that I never look properly.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 25 January, 2010, 10:34:31 pm
I've watched ten episodes of Farscape in the last 36 hours and now I feel a bit sick.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 25 January, 2010, 10:56:13 pm
Mum responded by telling me that she would have to give me £20 and that I would owe her ten. I didn't even ask for said twenty so I'm in debt and haven't even got the money that I am borrowing yet. I tried getting her back by eating the last of the grapes but there weren't any red ones left and they were starting to go off, meaning that the tart nature of white grapes was exacerbated to an unwelcome degree.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 26 January, 2010, 12:32:09 am
I was told that there was bacon. When I opened the fridge there was no bacon to be found. I raised the issue of the Bacon only to be escorted to the fridge and shown the bacon and to be reminded by my wife that I never look properly.

I have it on good authority, from a lady of the female sex, that that is, quote "a brilliant story" unquote.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 26 January, 2010, 12:46:01 am
They are all in on it together, those women. They must be controlled with drugs. I shall call off this program if my demands are met.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 26 January, 2010, 11:42:38 am
I was told that there was bacon. When I opened the fridge there was no bacon to be found. I raised the issue of the Bacon only to be escorted to the fridge and shown the bacon and to be reminded by my wife that I never look properly.
I have it on good authority, from a lady of the female sex, that that is, quote "a brilliant story" unquote.

But isn't the usual routine that the lady of the manor puts things where they don't belong and that's why we fellas can't find stuff? To quote a stand-up comedian I once saw: "You're eating a sandwich, you put it down on the table, next thing it's in a box in the loft."
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Rog69 on 26 January, 2010, 11:58:37 am
I was told that there was bacon. When I opened the fridge there was no bacon to be found. I raised the issue of the Bacon only to be escorted to the fridge and shown the bacon and to be reminded by my wife that I never look properly.
I have it on good authority, from a lady of the female sex, that that is, quote "a brilliant story" unquote.

But isn't the usual routine that the lady of the manor puts things where they don't belong and that's why we fellas can't find stuff? To quote a stand-up comedian I once saw: "You're eating a sandwich, you put it down on the table, next thing it's in a box in the loft."

Absolutely, and in my defense the bacon was actually at the very bottom of the fridge with all the veg, with a packet of leeks on top of it!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 26 January, 2010, 12:21:41 pm
 
Quote
...and in my defense the bacon was actually at the very bottom of the fridge with all the veg...

Well really.  Who'd think of looking for food in the Veg compartment?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mikey on 26 January, 2010, 01:36:17 pm
Yeah, it's not real food like meat.

I have to get up really early tommorrow and I'm already tired!

M

PS
Quote
Wimper.
...

Said Godders when he realised he didn't know 'creme fraiche' comes from shops, not his mom's dugs as she told him.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Hoagy on 26 January, 2010, 03:36:14 pm
I'm in a waiting room, awaiting eye surgery. And it looks like its gonna a be a while. Noone is talking but time would pass  quicker if we did. I'm hungry and too grumpy and enstranged from anyone here to start a conversation. Gad it may be hours. And I am rubbish at holding conversations with people I don't know and don't know if I have anything in commen with. There's this portly gent who looks at me willing me to  speak and a man around my age smiling courteously at me but my law has wired itself up. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: WoD on 26 January, 2010, 03:56:46 pm
I was told that there was bacon. When I opened the fridge there was no bacon to be found. I raised the issue of the Bacon only to be escorted to the fridge and shown the bacon and to be reminded by my wife that I never look properly.

I have it on good authority, from a lady of the female sex, that that is, quote "a brilliant story" unquote.

Not mentioning it to my lady...it will just add to the 'man-look' theory she has!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 26 January, 2010, 04:25:35 pm
My new neighbours who have rented the house next door are yet another rude and uncommunicative couple.One half of the couple,although i am not exactly sure wether its a mother and son or a couple [not thats its my business and i am not interested anyway] knocks on my door this morning to ask if the car parked outside the house that belongs to a cleaner who is working next door is mine.

"Is that your car outside ?"

No politeness whatsoever.Just a discourteous beardy little shit with an offhand manner who i dont like the look of so i just answered with a "No" and closed the door. :D

Previously a few days ago i said hello and i was just blanked by him so i will ignore them in future however they are quiet on the whole so thats fine by me.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: VinceBot on 26 January, 2010, 04:27:33 pm
I've watched ten episodes of Farscape in the last 36 hours and now I feel a bit sick.

Did you see the trippy mirrors one, or the trippy 3 dimensions one with different colours? They always bend my brain.


Who'd think of looking for food in the Veg compartment?

TordelBack, denier of veg as food.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 26 January, 2010, 06:24:33 pm
I've watched ten episodes of Farscape in the last 36 hours and now I feel a bit sick.

Well I've just watched all five seasons of BSG (plus the miniseries) in less than 3 weeks, and I'm well and truly frakked. (and so say we all)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 27 January, 2010, 02:33:54 am
I was in town today buying some of that Egyptian cotton bedding, as I had heard so much about it. It has a 300 thread count which makes it excellent, apparently :-\
Just as I piled my arms with what I required I noticed another pile of bedding that had a 400 thread count but it wasn't Egyptian, what should I do. Bollocks to it I stuck with the 300 count as I couldn't be arsed looking through another display for matching sets of something I liked. It took me over 20 minutes to find what I wanted the first time (I had to get an assistant to go out the back to get a fitted sheet, as there wasn't the one I wanted on display in the size I needed).
I had had a go on it all earlier and it just felt like normal bedding to me and expensive bedding at that ::)

Just looked on a site to check the thread count bollocks and it goes up to 1200 and that is VERY expensive :o
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Hoagy on 27 January, 2010, 08:02:06 am
Nice insight into Egyptian cotton and the price hiker that contributes, thread count.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 27 January, 2010, 09:34:55 am
I had had a go on it all earlier

 :D brilliant! :D

Now there's an image.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 27 January, 2010, 10:41:59 am
I hate unravelling conversations. Sparky replacing lights outside block.

S: "Do you want light there?"
Me: "No there wasn't one there before"
S: "Yes there was. I should know, I took the old one off"
Me (with my lack of pushyness): "Ok, well if there was one there before then put one back there"

Later that evening I look at old photos. No such light there. I email that to surveyor and he says he will pass on pic and message to Sparky's boss not to put up light there. Today I look out window and Sparky is up ladder preparing cable to put light there. So long convoluted discussion with Sparky getting shirty. His boss never passed on message. Other Sparky had a photo he took and that also shows no light there. But Sparky still insisted there was a light there. Arrgh.

His stroppyness is no doubt due to him having to redo one day's work where they put up garish white cable over the brickwork without asking us if we wanted black or white.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 27 January, 2010, 01:16:52 pm
I hate unravelling conversations. Sparky replacing lights outside block.

S: "Do you want light there?"
Me: "No there wasn't one there before"
S: "Yes there was. I should know, I took the old one off"
Me (with my lack of pushyness): "Ok, well if there was one there before then put one back there"

Later that evening I look at old photos. No such light there. I email that to surveyor and he says he will pass on pic and message to Sparky's boss not to put up light there. Today I look out window and Sparky is up ladder preparing cable to put light there. So long convoluted discussion with Sparky getting shirty. His boss never passed on message. Other Sparky had a photo he took and that also shows no light there. But Sparky still insisted there was a light there. Arrgh.

His stroppyness is no doubt due to him having to redo one day's work where they put up garish white cable over the brickwork without asking us if we wanted black or white.



Surely if there is no evidence of a light being there then there wasnt a light there ?

"No ! there was a light there before even though there wasnt a light there before !"
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 27 January, 2010, 01:23:52 pm
ere is no evidence of a light being there then there wasnt a light there ?

"No ! there was a light there before even though there wasnt a light there before !"

Hate it when someone is really adamant that they are correct but turn out to be wrong. I just noticed they are running cable across the top wall of the car park wall even though I asked them to run it a bit lower so that it is not cut by the neighbours when they trim their hedges. It's armoured anyway. But I give up. I end up looking like a control freak but some of the other flat owners are real nit pickers and I am constantly trying to preempt their reactions.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 27 January, 2010, 01:35:11 pm
ere is no evidence of a light being there then there wasnt a light there ?

"No ! there was a light there before even though there wasnt a light there before !"

Hate it when someone is really adamant that they are correct but turn out to be wrong. I just noticed they are running cable across the top wall of the car park wall even though I asked them to run it a bit lower so that it is not cut by the neighbours when they trim their hedges. It's armoured anyway. But I give up. I end up looking like a control freak but some of the other flat owners are real nit pickers and I am constantly trying to preempt their reactions.

It seems to be one thing after another with that block that you live in.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 27 January, 2010, 01:58:18 pm
It seems to be one thing after another with that block that you live in.

Yes, it is. A few strong characters here make things very, very difficult. How I would love to have my own house so that we could live our own life. Out of the question round these parts.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Rog69 on 27 January, 2010, 09:08:07 pm
I went out to see Avatar this evening, on my own because the wife didn't want to go and everybody else in the entire world has already seen it.

I was running late because my baby daughter puked on me just as I was about to leave, but one Superman style quick change later I headed out, swinging by the local shop on the way to buy a bag of Revels (I didn't want to have to re-mortgage my house so I could buy some from the cinema).

When I finally got to there the car park was rammed (stupid Orange Wednesday)and by the time I had orbited it several times and found a space, the film had been on for 10 minutes so I went home again  :(

Who wants to see a bunch of stupid lanky blue twats anyway.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 27 January, 2010, 09:29:42 pm
Who wants to see a bunch of stupid lanky blue twats anyway.

 :lol:
I've just got back from "Sex and drugs and rock'n'roll" (which was fanbloodytastic), but the heating was broken in the cinema and it was freezing. I also have a tickly cough that probably made me the least popular person in there, however much Covonia I swigged.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 27 January, 2010, 10:24:46 pm
Sat at work for 90 mins and no job yet. I want to get out on the road so I can listen to the latest Dredd CD. Best the run is over an hour so I can listen to it in one hit.
Life is hard  :lol:
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 27 January, 2010, 10:52:21 pm
I just flicked onto the I, Robot movie, where Wil Smith  was leaping off a motorbike accurately shooting marauding robots in the head with twin pistols as he sailed through the air.  Then his girlie turned up with a big machine gun and blasted another robot.  That woman was supposed to be Susan Calvin.  That just isn't right, why should I be accidentally exposed to this kind of thing?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 27 January, 2010, 11:22:18 pm
This is why.

Quote
At lunchtime I bought a Star Wars 3 3/4" figure of Luke in his medical gown from the end of Empire Strikes Back. 

And then because he came with 1/6 of a 'build-a-droid' figure (the head, as it happens), I bought five more figures so I could get a seventh one 'free'.   
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 27 January, 2010, 11:41:08 pm
-sob- It's all true.  My financial support of mindless cinematic SF has encouraged even more mindless cinematic SF.  But hey, that Medical Gown Luke.  I regret nothing,
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 28 January, 2010, 06:21:43 pm
I got the complete A Bit of Fry and Laurie for Christmas, and disc 4 (of 5) wouldn't play at all on any device. I sent it back to Amazon and got a replacement. Exactly the same problem. Defective batch. I may give it a third go, or just ask for a refund.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 28 January, 2010, 06:36:05 pm
I was making my sarnies for work earlier and Sam came out to help me, how kind I thought. He helped get all the ingredients out of the fridge, some breaded ham, some grated cheese and the marge.
The problem was that he ate so much of the ham whilst I was spreading the marge that I only had enough ham for one sarnie, so I am having marmite in the other ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: wild-seven on 28 January, 2010, 08:15:57 pm
I got the complete A Bit of Fry and Laurie for Christmas, and disc 4 (of 5) wouldn't play at all on any device. I sent it back to Amazon and got a replacement. Exactly the same problem. Defective batch. I may give it a third go, or just ask for a refund.

I had the exact same problem with my Fry & Laurie box set, I would have sent it back but then the disc played perfectly in my other, slightly newer dvd player - infuriating doesn't come close
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 28 January, 2010, 08:23:40 pm
I used to have multiple problems with DVDs. My last player, despite happily playing absolutely anything I'd ever bought from around the world, whatever region, however old, absolutely refused to play anything that was released by Momentum Pictures.

Which was a pisser, as I'd just bought Terminator 2, Evil Dead 2, Prince of Darkness and They Live. All on the Momentum label.

I then had a lengthy correspondance with some guy at Momentum, trying to get him to explain exactly WHY his company was releasing DVDs that couldn't be played on a mid-range player, which was a top-seller from a major high-street chain store. His arrogance was at first amusing, then drove me mad. My last message to him, before I just gave up and bought a new player, consisted of the helpful advice to purchase said player for his testing department, and bloody use it.

SBT

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 29 January, 2010, 12:45:52 am
I had a shave and now I look about 11.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 29 January, 2010, 01:13:59 am
I had a shave and now I look about 11.
Don't worry too much. It'll grow back twice as fast.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Rog69 on 29 January, 2010, 10:59:21 pm
I had a shave and now I look about 11.
Don't worry too much. It'll grow back twice as fast.

It don't half itch down there when it does though.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 31 January, 2010, 10:34:32 pm
I made a mushroom risotto that would have been fantastic, except I forgot to put an Oxo cube in it. That would have made it perfect.

 :|
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 31 January, 2010, 10:38:34 pm
Lynx Africa strikes again.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 31 January, 2010, 10:40:22 pm
Lynx Africa strikes again.

You love it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Banners on 01 February, 2010, 11:53:14 am
Oyster cards.

Don't insist people who don't live in London buy them instead of Travelcards, assume we know how to use the damn things - and then laugh at us when the barriers fail to open.

M@
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 01 February, 2010, 08:54:41 pm
I nearly had a row with a neighbour this morning. More to the point, she nearly reversed into my car.

 ::)

We both went out to defrost our windscreens at the same time. After she finished hers she sat at the wheel for ages with the front door of her house wide open. I presumed she must be going back in, or else her husband or son or whatever (she looks somewhat older than him) must have been about to come outside and get in the car with her. Anyway, she sat there faffing about and didn't seem to be going anywhere (in the end her husband or son or whatever came out of the house with a bicycle and shut the door behind him; he wasn't going in the car with her after all). She only switched her engine on after I'd started mine up and started turning my car around.

Her car was facing out of the street, so all she had to do was swing out and pull forward. My car was facing into the street, so I had to execute a 3-point turn to face the right way to get out. I swung my car around left and pulled across the street at a right angle, into the space behind her, to reverse back to my side of the road again. As soon as I've drawn up level with the back of her car, still going forward, she starts reversing! I couldn't have anticipated that, because she's got an empty road right in front of her, and forward is the only way she can get out of our street.

I can't do anything at all to stop her hitting me; it's all down to her. I can't go forward because then I'll present a bigger target. I can't go backward because by the time I've selected reverse gear and put my foot on the accelerator she'll have hit me. So I just put my hand on the horn and leant on it. No reaction - she continued reversing toward me. When someone sounds a loud and persistent warning you do not just blithely carry on, but she did. So I took my hand off the horn and slammed down on it again. This time she stopped. Panic over. Collision, needless damage and row averted.

I reversed back over to my side of the street, turned my car around to face out, and went over and waved at her and spoke in through her window. "I'm so glad you saw me. That was very close," I said, good naturedly.

"I thought you were going to stop." She replied, making no sense. It wasn't me that needed to stop; I had stopped. It was her car that had been moving toward a collision.

Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Van Dom on 02 February, 2010, 10:36:41 am
I have FIVE biros on my desk and not one of the buggers will write. There is loads of ink in all of them right up to the top. I have been doing that thing where you vigorously roll them between your hands to get the ink flowing but its not working. Ive been scribbling like a maniac over blank sheets of paper for ten minutes with them all and THEY WONT WRITE!!!

Whats up with that? Asshole pens!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 02 February, 2010, 10:57:19 am
I have FIVE biros on my desk and not one of the buggers will write.

This is what happens when they effectively cancel the space programme.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bolt-01 on 02 February, 2010, 11:42:56 am
When artists who commit to a strip suddenly turn into flakes and you end up having to wait over 18 months for an episode and then they drop you right in it by telling you they can no longer be sure they can find time!

GAH!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 02 February, 2010, 12:57:17 pm
I'm assuming said artist isn't part of this forum?? Or is this a subversive form of embarrassment?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Bolt-01 on 02 February, 2010, 01:12:10 pm
No, he's not, thankfully- as otherwise I'd probably have more to say on the subject.

However, there is a Knight on this very board who has stepped up to the plate and filled the gap. Not by taking over on the strip- though I 'do' have plans for that- but by delivering his strip early!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 02 February, 2010, 01:41:45 pm
No, he's not, thankfully- as otherwise I'd probably have more to say on the subject.

However, there is a Knight on this very board who has stepped up to the plate and filled the gap. Not by taking over on the strip- though I 'do' have plans for that- but by delivering his strip early!

Woo-hoo!
And it's good news for me either way!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: satchmo on 02 February, 2010, 07:13:53 pm
Call Centre monkey: speak to my girlfriend like that again and I'll email you a punch in the fucking face  >:(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 02 February, 2010, 07:41:06 pm
What if it's a pregnant lady and because she was a thalidomide baby her womb is in her face?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 02 February, 2010, 09:22:43 pm
What if it's a pregnant lady and because she was a thalidomide baby her womb is in her face?

That doesn't happen, horrid boy. You're thinking of atomic radiation; I saw it in Strontium Dog.

I have FIVE biros on my desk and not one of the buggers will write.

I'm familiar with that situation. The answer is: that's too many ballpoint pens. If you store them too long they dry up. They don't have an indefinite shelf life. I bought bulk once because it was cheap. The ones I used straight away were fine. None of the ones that got stored and ignored while home improvements went on worked at all when they got found again.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Van Dom on 02 February, 2010, 09:34:07 pm
Ahh, that'll be it then!  :-[


Don't worry, I'm switching back to coloured pencils, just nicked a box of my daughters and threw it in my office bag! Can't go wrong with coloured Hello Kitty pencils!

(No, I won't be embarrassed sitting in a meeting writing with a coloured Hello Kitty pencil. I'll be wearing my Scooby Doo t-shirt, see, and eating my lunch from my Mickey Mouse lunchbox!!!!! :lol:)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 02 February, 2010, 10:16:45 pm
What if it's a pregnant lady and because she was a thalidomide baby her womb is in her face?

I probably could have shot that joke with trunc-quilizers and it would still would have worked. But my 5 have elapsed.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 03 February, 2010, 03:40:02 am
Damn, I can't believe I missed Jordans wedding to that angry dresser in Las Vegas.
I wonder who wore the bridal gown.
Perhaps my invite was lost in the post.

I'll give it 18 months  :lol:
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: SuperSurfer on 03 February, 2010, 04:59:50 pm
I tried watching the weekly double bill of Apprentice (USA) last night. I know it's full of annoying overconfident people whose main qualification is being cocksure, but it's a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine and I look forward to it. I got through about 20mins and then woke up 3am on the sofa with the imaginary block of concrete on me that makes getting up and going to bed a Herculean task.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Rog69 on 06 February, 2010, 02:56:10 pm
I stopped off at the village shop for some bread on my way home from work today and then walked the half a mile home only to realise my car was still parked outside the shop :-[.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 06 February, 2010, 03:08:34 pm
BWAAH-HAA-HAA-HAA! Classic.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: staticgirl on 06 February, 2010, 03:42:13 pm
My mum used to leave me in the pram outside the local co-op when shopping and forget I was there and go home. Cue phonecalls from people in the shop who'd got rather used to her doing this kind of thing. Baby brain much?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 06 February, 2010, 03:44:00 pm
My mum used to leave me in the pram outside the local co-op when shopping and forget I was there and go home. Cue phonecalls from people in the shop who'd got rather used to her doing this kind of thing. Baby brain much?

So are you sure it was your mum who came to collect you or was it just someone who wanted a better pram?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 06 February, 2010, 03:46:03 pm
That happened to my brother loads too, SG.

It would've happened to me too, except my brother was always there to remind her.  My mum had a shocking memory.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 06 February, 2010, 08:19:50 pm
Of potential interest to staticgirl:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8491493.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8491493.stm)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: staticgirl on 06 February, 2010, 08:28:33 pm
My mum used to leave me in the pram outside the local co-op when shopping and forget I was there and go home. Cue phonecalls from people in the shop who'd got rather used to her doing this kind of thing. Baby brain much?

So are you sure it was your mum who came to collect you or was it just someone who wanted a better pram?
I'm happy to say I have photgraphic proof I was replaced in the same family home I came from. You can't fake those mad staring eyes... :)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 06 February, 2010, 09:14:57 pm
Having forgotten to put an oxo in Sunday's risotto, I sabotaged tonight's quorn fillet salsa (tastes likje chicken!) by forgetting not to put an oxo cube in it! Damn. Note to self: no oxo cube in the salsa. Otherwise too salty and yuk.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 06 February, 2010, 11:50:40 pm
My mum used to leave me in the pram outside the local co-op when shopping and forget I was there and go home. Cue phonecalls from people in the shop who'd got rather used to her doing this kind of thing. Baby brain much?

That's quite shocking and scary. If my wife did that she would get a serious slap. I've had dreams of doing that and instantly wake up sweating and upset.





V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: staticgirl on 07 February, 2010, 11:37:56 am
Small village with pretensions of being a town plus it was the early 70s.  Everyone knew everyone then and I wasn't in danger. I'd be more scared if it happened nowadays because the place really is a town now and we don't know everyone anymore....
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 09 February, 2010, 08:04:36 am
We've planned on going to London on Thursday for Sam's 11th Birthday.
What do I see on the weather forecast a few moments ago, 10 INCHES of snow for the South East on Thursday. Now it doesn't worry me but I'm sure that chaos will ensue as we try to have a fun day out, that is of course if London isn't closed for the day.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Mike Gloady on 09 February, 2010, 12:03:37 pm
Mmmmm.

That is sucky.  Hope it's wrong or at least not applicable to the places you're going.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: staticgirl on 09 February, 2010, 04:16:44 pm
Doubt it'll be that bad in London, Kent maybe. Some of Kent is higher and gets caught by the wind off the sea....

have a look here - http://www.metcheck.com/V40/UK/FREE/14days.asp?zipcode=London
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 09 February, 2010, 10:05:42 pm
I've just heard that the tutor who took over the class I used to teach this evening of the week got lynched on his first lesson. What an ungrateful bunch. A pity for the students who attended because they wanted to learn something.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 09 February, 2010, 10:12:33 pm
I've just heard that the tutor who took over the class I used to teach this evening of the week got lynched on his first lesson.

Tough room.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 09 February, 2010, 10:15:45 pm
Drinking milk straight after eating chocolate isn't the exemplary experience one might expect it to be at the outset. Although minor fatigue may have been the third* ingredient.



*Of course, what I mean here is that it is the most obvious noumenal distraction and one that is sufficently noteworthy to be of note on this particular not-light.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 11 February, 2010, 04:58:03 pm
After 17 years of occupancy and on the final day of a month of refurbishment work, the workmen have decided that there may be asbestos in our hall floor after all, and have advised us not to spend the night in the flat. This is despite them carrying out an asbestos survey before the work started which gave us the all clear. Figure I'll take my life in my hands and risk it!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 11 February, 2010, 08:58:07 pm
Well, there're different types of asbestos, aren't there? Some of it won't harm you if you just leave it alone and seal it in.

My back bedroom ceiling was done with artex, which contained asbestos back in the day. I chipped the spikes off with a trowel and got my plasterer to skim it over.




*cough*
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 11 February, 2010, 09:21:55 pm
Well, there're different types of asbestos, aren't there? Some of it won't harm you if you just leave it alone and seal it in.

My back bedroom ceiling was done with artex, which contained asbestos back in the day. I chipped the spikes off with a trowel and got my plasterer to skim it over.




*cough*

Its what you call blue asbestos that is the carcinogenic type that you usually find in industrial buildings or pipe lagging  and that kind of thing which is naturally very dusty/fibrous whereas the type that you come across in flat sheets in domestic situations is harmless even if you remove it yourself which i have done but councils dont discriminate.

Top tip for Artex removal: Providing it hasnt been painted with an oil based to paint is to use a wallpaper stripper on it.Hold the plate over the artex as you would with wallpaper and the steam penetrates the artex and softens it so you just scrape it off and because it is moist there is no dust.

Easy !!

Its vile stuff Artex especially when its combed where you get those half circles of concentric circles. :sick: or else in older houses its used to hide uneven or rough old plaster.I couldnt live with Artex as i hate it.Artex usually contains Gypsum as i havent ever heard of it containing asbestos.Vile shit whatever its made of.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 11 February, 2010, 11:38:50 pm
I saw these in the London Dungeon and there were no Dredd ones, yes I'll buy any old tat. Someone make me a 2000AD collection of characters like these, NOW!

(http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t136/commandoforces/2000ad%20Sites/P2110338.jpg)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 12 February, 2010, 06:12:18 am
Nice!  Second from the left, Is that... Zombie Jack Nicholson?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 12 February, 2010, 08:21:34 am
That one threw me until I picked it up and had a good look. I reckon it's Blade.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 12 February, 2010, 10:09:50 am
On checking the London spend, I seem to have spent just under £300, yes £300 on a bloody day out. I can't believe it, I could have put that towards lots of 2000AD figures and stuff when they all start to hit the shelves.

Still I suppose I should spend some money on the family now and again.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 12 February, 2010, 01:27:34 pm
My computer seems to have died. Blue screen of death every time it tries to load windows. Spent all last night running long hardware diagnostics from the boot menu, all passed OK but the fecker still won't open  - in normal mode, in safe mode or even "at last good configuration" mode.

Since XP was pre-installed when I bought it, I can't even reformat and reload windows. Arse. Will be popping in to te forum at work, but may not be around as much as normal in the coming weeks!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: staticgirl on 12 February, 2010, 04:20:41 pm
ooh that's a bugger... load ubuntu os for now?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 12 February, 2010, 04:24:20 pm
ooh that's a bugger... load ubuntu os for now?

(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/not_really_into_pokemon.png)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Devons Daddy on 13 February, 2010, 02:50:29 am
NEW BOSS, NEW RULES, no time to be here recently.
on top of hte changes now, and i like the new boss,
but it has been a minor impediment not making the effort to come here and smile. share and laugh. damn i missed it.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Kerrin on 13 February, 2010, 07:59:29 am
Welcome back DD!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 13 February, 2010, 08:18:10 am
ooh that's a bugger... load ubuntu os for now?

Is it possible to load something when you don't have a working OS to start with? All this is way over my head. All i know is I switch it on and it don't work!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 13 February, 2010, 11:06:59 am
Damn. Now that it's not raining or snowing I am in the garden finishing off the fortified installation for the two remaining girls. Once this is finished we will get some more as the fox that killed Elsie won't be visiting again (story for Hell-Trek) and there will be no weak points.
For a start the missus will lock the buggers up when they are put to bed  ::)
Must crack on as this doing nothing is making me cold.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Rog69 on 13 February, 2010, 01:04:28 pm
I was sitting with my 4 year old daughter doing colouring in while my 6 month old was crawling around under the table. I looked down to see the baby holding a purple felt tip that she had managed to get the lid off and draw a joker smile on her face with while she tried to suck it. It is proving tough to get off and I have to go out with her in about half an hour.

I'm a terrible parent  :(
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Noisybast on 13 February, 2010, 03:41:40 pm
quorn fillet salsa (tastes likje chicken!)

Bloody doesn't! Against my better judgement, I let my girlfriend get some of these fetid articles recently and serve 'em up for tea. I'd say they lie considerably closer to soggy MDF than chicken on the taste chart. Blecch!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 13 February, 2010, 03:50:08 pm
Against my better judgement, I let my girlfriend get some of these fetid articles recently and serve 'em up for tea. I'd say they lie considerably closer to soggy MDF than chicken on the taste chart. Blecch!

I'm not convinced she can cook.  :-\
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 13 February, 2010, 04:43:52 pm
The missus cooked up a quorn korma t'other night and it was all kinds of scrummy.  In my long veggie years I'd grown quite tired of quorn (although I never tired, nor yet tire, of beanfeast, undisputed king of the rehydratables), but I really enjoy it as an option now.  Also, have wife now, better cook than I.  
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Nap Normal on 13 February, 2010, 05:20:31 pm
Against my better judgement, I let my girlfriend get some of these fetid articles recently and serve 'em up for tea. I'd say they lie considerably closer to soggy MDF than chicken on the taste chart. Blecch!

I'm not convinced she can cook.  :-\


Comedy gold.
Take a bow to rapturous applause HoU.
I salute your comedy wit.
Bw
Jay
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 14 February, 2010, 12:15:13 am
I just had a bout of garlic bread diahrrea.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 February, 2010, 12:30:11 am
I'm not convinced such a thing even exists. Was it diagnosed by Gillian McKeith?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 14 February, 2010, 01:10:32 am
I ate some garlic bread that expired on Wednesday. Minutes later the torrents. Eighty pages later Albertine was still dead.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 14 February, 2010, 11:43:10 am
I have to put the laptop away until after Sam's party so that means I won't be able to get back online until after 22:00 ::)

Then again I may have a wee look on the phone when I occasionally pop down the cellar ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 14 February, 2010, 03:47:01 pm
So we finally got to the end of Empire Strikes Back after several abortive attempts, since while loving Hoth the Boy has previously found the cave on Dagobah to be a bridge too far, having developed a healthy terror of Darth Vader in the opening seconds of Star Wars.  Today he watched the 'No, I am your father' bit for the first time in rapt silence, and we wondered whether he, a huge fan of Clone Wars cartoon-version Anakin Skywalker, would pick up on what was going on.    

Now he won't go for a nap because he keeps dreaming he's turning into Darth Vader.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 14 February, 2010, 03:55:38 pm
I am so very sorry to hear you broke your kid with too much Star Wars. Good job you've got at least one spare!

 :o
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 14 February, 2010, 04:03:50 pm
I am so very sorry to hear you broke your kid with too much Star Wars.

Too much Star Wars... or not enough?  Onward to redemption, it's the only way...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: vzzbux on 15 February, 2010, 09:51:11 pm
You are not trying hard enough tord. Strap him to the settee and use matchsticks on the eyes. Works for my son.








V
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: maryanddavid on 15 February, 2010, 09:55:09 pm
Tord, you should get audiobooks and put headphones on him when hes asleep, he is obviously not getting enough exposure.

David
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 15 February, 2010, 10:03:51 pm
Quote
Tord, you should get audiobooks and put headphones on him when hes asleep

Lads, you must figure me for some kind of lightweight - I'm way ahead of you. 
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 16 February, 2010, 09:13:01 am
At least Penny Arcade understands.

(http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/786981234_u3TZK-L.jpg)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 February, 2010, 10:14:43 am
At least Penny Arcade understands.

(http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/786981234_u3TZK-L.jpg)

That's awesome!

And of course, there's the Cam Kennedy Star Wars art on the HiEx auction- just imagine how much your children would like that, eh?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 16 February, 2010, 10:28:18 am
Honestly your lordship, I don't know how you do it, such relentless pimpery!   There's nothing I they would like more than Cam Kennedy art, it is the best Star Wars art since Ralph McQuarrie and Joe Johnston, and the best Star Wars comic art of all.  Satisfied?
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 February, 2010, 10:34:09 am
Quote
don't know how you do it

It's for the children!

Quote
Satisfied?

For now... but there are a few weeks to go yet before the con...
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Devons Daddy on 16 February, 2010, 10:35:47 am
becuase despite clear explanation. i still got the pic uploads all wrong.
got it now i think. thanks board.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 16 February, 2010, 02:46:22 pm
DROKK!

The postie has left a calling card from when he did a very weak knock at the door at 10:55.
Now this is either the next Mongoose book or my Hi-Ex! Hell-Trekker chocolates. Shall I drive to the sorting office just before it shuts at 19:00 or leave it till I finish work in the morning and collect the package then. What do you think  :lol:
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Van Dom on 16 February, 2010, 02:48:27 pm
I think you already know what you're doing, don't you!!!  :D
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 16 February, 2010, 02:54:27 pm
Yes, I can't help it. If it's not one of those two things I will be quite annoyed as those are the only items I'm expecting.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 16 February, 2010, 07:03:11 pm
Bollocks >:(

Just got back and they couldn't find it so I'll have to go back in the morning after work.
I nearly lost my rag when the person said, "have you checked that it wasn't left with the neighbours"
I replied quite calmly "It doesn't say that on the card!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhhh!!!!!!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: I, Cosh on 16 February, 2010, 10:51:35 pm
I just sat down to watch Star Trek and it skipped so badly I couldn't.

I only rented it in the first place because the sole copy of The Good, The Bad, The Weird in the video shop had been returned without the actual feature disc in the box.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 17 February, 2010, 12:09:59 am
Reminds me of the time in 1991 I hired Reanimator for £1.00 from the video store and the tape was too fucked up to watch. When I took it back the spotty teenager in temporary charge offered me my money back or an alternative. I chose Reanimator II. "That's 50p extra," he said. Some alternative!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Hoagy on 17 February, 2010, 09:16:20 pm
I paid £50 towards talk talk account at Barclays. I phoned talk talk. They say they've recieved no such payment. They have a new account with HSBC. Having closed the account, talk talk tell me the bank should have told me the account closed. I return to the bank to find out who is accountable. The bank say its in a talk talk account of some remuneration. I phone talk talk again. Its customer services are being repaired til 22nd of Feb.
I give up. Cold, cold business.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: uncle fester on 22 February, 2010, 07:04:52 pm
I've just caught the lead of the external terrabyte hard drive I keep all my artwork on, sending the hard drive itself towards the floor. These things aren't designed to bounce, it turns out. 

This isn't filed under a Life Spugs post as there are folks on here with more important things to be worried about, and I know a man who can fix these wonders of technology (or at least rescue some of the basic data). That, and I'm about as far from any deadlines as I could possibly be today.

But I think all the finished artwork I've done this year may have gone to the great drawing board in the sky. Harrumph.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 February, 2010, 07:06:31 pm
I found somebody's dentures in my coat pocket.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 22 February, 2010, 07:08:27 pm
I found somebody's dentures in my coat pocket.

Granny shagging again Roger ;)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: the shutdown man on 23 February, 2010, 10:07:04 am
I went to see a special showing of Raiders of the Lost Ark last night. Around the point where Indy is digging into the Well of Souls, the film suddenly jumped forward to the scene with the plane burning on the runway, skipping about twenty minutes, maybe more. It then continued on for a bit, with the chase scene with the trucks, and then cut off completely. We sat there for about half an hour while they tried to fix it but evetually gave up and went home. They gave us replacement tickets at least.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 23 February, 2010, 11:15:27 am
That's quite sucky.

When I went to see Titanic the film cut out for about 10 minutes. When it resumed with a chunk missing I got up and walked out and asked for tickets for the next showing, but over 100 people just sat there complacently and watched to the end. I guess they figured they weren't really missing anything and that life's too short to sit through the first hour of Titanic a second time.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 23 February, 2010, 12:33:55 pm
I just sat down to watch Star Trek and it skipped so badly I couldn't.

I only rented it in the first place because the sole copy of The Good, The Bad, The Weird in the video shop had been returned without the actual feature disc in the box.

I had this same problem last night when i attempted to watch The Pianist.First of all i washed the disc to wash off dirty fingerprints and various other substances but it didnt help the problem as the disc was also scratched.This really pissed me off because i just dont understand how DVDs end up in this state when all you have to do is remove the disc from its case holding it by the edge and then place it into the drawer of the DVD player.There is no need at anytime to touch the surface of the disc or use it as a drinks coaster or sand the floor with it or use it as a frisbee.

It fucking annoys me when this happens especially when the shop is hiring out substandard discs.They should now better.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Dandontdare on 23 February, 2010, 12:40:47 pm
Do you remember when CDs first came out and we were told they were indestructible? What a laff! Even if they don't get scratched, I read that those early CDs had used an ink or plastic that degraded and would only last about 10 years anyway!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: Peter Wolf on 23 February, 2010, 01:19:28 pm
Do you remember when CDs first came out and we were told they were indestructible? What a laff! Even if they don't get scratched, I read that those early CDs had used an ink or plastic that degraded and would only last about 10 years anyway!

I remember that claim very well.You can bend and snap them in half so they are hardly indestructable.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: House of Usher on 23 February, 2010, 01:34:33 pm
I remember being very suspicious of CDs in the mid-1980s because of the unit cost and the small surface area for sleeve artwork, and space considerations, because the jewel case was double the width of a long player record sleeve.

I bought a midi system in 1987, which, of course, came with an external CD player which sat underneath. Apart from All About Eve in 1988, and Disintegration by The Cure in 1989, and upgrading a couple of Sisters of Mercy albums, I continued to buy vinyl until I went to university with a JVC portable CD player and no record player.
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 23 February, 2010, 06:33:38 pm
I asked an ebay seller in France if he was prepared to post what he is selling to the UK.
I received his reply earlier and here it is for all to marvel at:-

'GOOD NIGHT COMES TO SEARCH IT HER WILL MAKE YOU VACATION ' :o :-\ :crazy:   

I have sent a polite reply to see if that means Yes!
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 23 February, 2010, 07:13:24 pm
Well I won't be buying this item, as his answer is this:-

'I DO NOT SEE CODAY MAKING GROWTH UNE LIVRAISON LE INTERVENTION AT HOME COME TO SEARCH IT HER DOMICILE WILL MAKE DES VACANCES' ::)
Title: Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
Post by: TordelBack on 23 February, 2010, 07:20:21 pm