Love and TADs. The 6th 2000AD Short Story Comp.

[Mike Gloady]

I over-use "cracking" don't I?

[wild-seven]

Sorry sweety, I promise not to run off with another lady X

[Mike Gloady]

I feel a home-made Valentine coming on - an image of Ro-Jaws and a kitten with a hang-glider....

[Kerrin]

That's a humdinger of a story Festina. Welcome to the board and the comp, great to see some more lady squaxx willing to brave the meleé of the Galaxy's Greatest forum.

Just wait till I finish my Mek-quake and the milking machine story though, talk about steamy. Well not exactly steamy, there's a couple of blown coolant hoses, hubba-hubba.

[Lady Festina]

I defy anyone to create something erotic involving a milking machine....

(No, please, don't start writing / drawing, it was rhetorical....)

[Van Dom]

Hubba hubba! Welcome to the board and the competition Lady Festina. Good stuff there! Lots of great entries all around so far. I've got a Japanese exam coming up this Sunday so once I get that out of the way I'll get cracking on one of my ideas! Keep em comin' guys!

[Colm]

A Bitch interlude. . .

The forest hummed with alien sounds though Johnny Alpha's always-straining ears heard nothing.  He had learned to recognize and filter the normal night noises so the Kaiak night now seemed silent and still. 

Suddenly a faint crack came from the direction of the camp.  He tensed, hand edging towards his blaster, though he was sure that it was just Red coming this way.  Maybe knowing it was her only heightened his tension.

Alpha kept his back to her as she quietly entered the rocky clearing.  He stood unmoving even as she stopped behind him and slowly moved her mouth towards his bare neck. 

"You know I'm here, don't you?" Red whispered in his ear.  Alpha turned, his blank eyes almost lighting up the dim. 

"Where's the prez?", he asked.

"Huh?  Oh, Reagan."  Red moved around to face Alpha.  "He's fine, pretending to be asleep but really keeping an eye on me.  I figured I'd give him a few minutes respite."

"You have quite an effect on men, don't you?", Alpha laughed.  Red smiled back, placing the tip of a finger on her lips then running it gently across her throat.

"Yeah.  Except you."  Silence followed as both stared past each other into the blackness beyond.  A spark cracked from the nearby campfire followed by a low whimper.  Neither flinched. 

"You like this, don't you?" Red finally spoke.  "You have no problem holing up in the middle of nowhere for a month and giving those dopey Kaiakos-k freedom fighters a chance.  And it's not because you're on their side, is it?  I think you just like the solitude."

"I'm hardly alone now, am I?" said Alpha shifting his feet slightly.  "I've got you and the smart guy for company". 

"Some company", snapped Red.  She turned and stared into those unknowable eyes.  "Johnny, all you want from me is a good perimeter check every day.  I'm left lusting after that old guy's globin for sneck's sake."

"Do you think I should actually just let you feast on me?  Would that make you happy?"  Alpha shook his head and turned away.  Red grabbed his arm and spun him back around. 

"It's not always about blood, you know", she spat. 

"Maybe not Red", Johnny pulled her grasping hand off his arm, letting it hang pleading between them.  "But no matter what it is, you always treat people like a bloodsucker.  Makes you hard to trust".  He turned again and starting walking back towards the camp. 

"Whatever Johnny", Red called after him.  "Off you go.  And when this job is over, off you'll go to your beloved log cabin."  Alpha paused, thoughts suddenly firing through his brain.  Red, sensing blood, continued:

"Did you and Wulf use to have this much fun back there on Smiley's World?  What did you two used to get up to on those long days?"  Alpha inhaled slowly and turned his head back to Red. 

"Still sucking, eh Red?" he said before disappearing into the trees.

[Alski]

Nice one, Matey. 

[Alski]

I couldn't just do ONE  now, could I...

Unrequited

I watch him from a distance, as I always do. Something inside me stirs, and not for the first time. I let my eyes linger over his hard body, his chiselled good looks, and when he finally looks over I convince myself that the spark in his eyes is just for me.

Never get involved with a colleague. That's what they say, and I suppose that "they" are right as usual. Sometimes I find it difficult to believe that anyone would want me, poor ugly Rosie with a mouth like a sewer. It's not like I do it on purpose, it just seems to come out, against my will. I suppose it's all down to the way I was brought up, or maybe dragged up would be more appropriate.

But still, I gaze at him, big, strong and dependable. There's a fire inside me, and only he can stoke it, if only I had the guts to let him know how I feel. For heaven's sake, we've worked together for years now, and he's been closer to me than anyone else has before. Even then, the barrier between us has been too strong, too high for my love to vault, so I hide behind tasteless remarks even though I know he doesn't find them at all funny. He'd rather chat up that tart Marilyn, with her long legs and pretty smile, leaving me to check my bank account to see if I've saved up enough to have my own teeth done. There never seems to be enough there, and I'm left to dream of what could be whilst he flirts with a girl that is undeniably more attractive to him than I am.

Why should I live like this? I'm a proper catch, you know. I'm good fun, upbeat, your best mate. Why should I be denied love just because I'm not as polished as some. Screw convention, and screw hiding my feelings like always. I'm going to tell him what I think, what I feel. When he comes over here I'm going to open up, and damn the consequences!

But what to say? How do you tell a guy you've worked with for years that you're totally, absolutely head over heels in love with him? I could start with a joke, I suppose, but he never laughs at my jokes, thinks they're too smutty. So no joke, then. I can't just blurt out "I love you" like some mental teenager, I have to lead into it, subtle like. Oh, christ, he's coming over. I know, I'll just say "Hello" or something, get his attention, and then I'll do it, I'll really bloody do it. Okay, here goes. No takebacks, no do overs, this is it.

"Wotcher Hammer Stein,"

"Piss off Ro Jaws, and stop staring at me. It's creepy."

*Sigh*

[Dandontdare]

That made me laugh out loud! Nice one emceehamster

[Dounreay]

It's great to hear three new voices on the comp with three strong stories. I'm a bit in awe of folks that can drop in for the first time with stuff that good, Lady Festina's is a luscious piece of work.

I'm liking how you folks manage to meet this month's challenge without mentioning curvy bits or sticky-out bits. I've got another story in mind that I wanted to do without mentioning said bits but it just ain't working.

     

[Van Dom]

I'm definately going to be mentioning stickyout bits...

[Mike Gloady]

I'm mentioning them now.

BOOBIES! WILLY!  FOO-FOO!  BUM!

[Van Dom]

I see your willy and raise you my wena, mr. Gloady.

[locustsofdeath!]

In all seriousness, an observation about this month's comp versus last month's:

After finishing my first draft, I've reread a few of these and what strikes me as very interesting is how the guys so far have written stories that are only half-serious and all-giggly (myself included), almost as though we're afraid to rally commit to this type of tale. Meanwhile, the two ladies - both first-time entrants - have written what up to this point I consider the best stories for this particular competition: sensual, sexy and serious. They've embraced the subject without embarrassment and that shows through their writing.

Now take last month's comp, "Total War", where we saw a record number of entries. Many of these were serious yarns. A manly subject, indeed. None of us held back.

Interesting...