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Judge Dredd versus Shoreline Entertainment

Started by Thread Zero, 03 November, 2001, 12:36:40 AM

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Thread Zero

The Offices of Shoreline Entertainment - California.

A board meeting. Movie executive looking through scripts.
Movie executive 1 - No...no..no..no.
Exec 2 - Face it, that idea of Dredd just won't work!
Exec 1 - What, the marriage one?
Exec 2- Yes! Everyone knows Dredd is married to the law.
Exec 1 - True. But he could have one hell of a bloody divorce!
Exex 2 - Certainly bloody that's for sure.
Exec 3 - I got it!
Exec 1 - What?
Exec 3 - The script you fools. Cracked it!
Exex 2 - So?
Exec 3 - Mmm?
Exec 1 - Your idea!
Exec 3 - Oh right, right! Well we have Dredd question his...
Exex 2 - His morality?
Exec 1 - His very existence as a fascist oppressor over the proletariate?
Exec 3- Close. His sexuality.
Exec 2 - Seems reasonable to me.
Exec 3 - Yes we have Joe come out of the closet as it were. Declare his homosexuality.
Exec 1 - Brillant. Why didn't you think of that?
Exec 3 - I did.
Exec 1 - Oh right, yes.
Exec 3 - Just think, "Is that your daystick I see in your trousers or...
Exec 2 - Dredd is certainly big on the law after all..
Exec 3 - And he is well endowed with a talent for extreme violence.
Exec 1 - Inspired! Pure genius!
Internal phone rings.
Secretary - A Mr Wagner to see you.
Exec 1 - Send him in, send him in!
John Wagner enters carrying a briefcase.
John - I have, er..here the 25th draft of my screenplay.
Exec 1 - You haven't finished the 26th one yet?
John - Er...no.
Exec 1 - The laziness of these limey writers never ceases to amaze me.
Exec 2 - How they ever built the Roman Empire...
John - British actually.
Exec 2 - Yes that too, I will never knew.
Exex 1 - It is because they got us to do all the work.
Exec 3 - True.
John - Well here is the latest draft.
Exec 1- Well lets see it then!
John shows it too them.
Exec 1 reads the plot outline out loud:
Exec 1 - Dredd battles the four dark judges while the citizens are attacked by marauding mutants and...
John: Don't forget the fatties either. They start eating the pencilneck citizens because of the food shortage and..
Exec 1 - Yes, yes. Dont worry John. Will call you. Bye now.
John stands there deflated.
Exec 2 - Shut the door on the way out will you. Draughts are murder for the neck.
John leaves.
Exec 3- Who was that guy?
Exec 1- Some nobody. He wrote Dredd for 25 years thats all.
Exec 2 - My god!
Exec 1- And he thinks he can tell us he knows better.
Exec 3 - Now that is rude.
Exec 1 - So where were we?
Exec 3 - Well Dredd comes out of the closet and well he isn't cleaning away the mothballs no more, if you catch my drift...
Exec 1 - You know something...this gay storyline is a winner. I can see it now, Dredd's in a dress and....
 

The End.