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Squaxx Telling Jokes

Started by The Legendary Shark, 22 November, 2014, 09:12:18 AM

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The Legendary Shark

Liverpool city centre was brought to a standstill this morning when a suspicious object was seen inside a parked van. The object transpired to be a tax disk.
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JamesC

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles


What did Arnie say when he was invited to a fancy dress party with a musical theme?

I'll be Bach

The Legendary Shark

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anybody can roast beef...
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The Enigmatic Dr X

Why did the baker have smelly hands? He was kneading a poo.
Lock up your spoons!

skurvy

What's green and smells? Tharg's bum.

shaolin_monkey

What's Beethoven's 5th favourite fruit?

Ba-na-na-naaa!

Colin YNWA

What's green and lets you do anything?

Permit the Frog

NapalmKev

#7
Two Mallards walk into a Bar, the third one Ducks.

Cheers
"Where once you fought to stop the trap from closing...Now you lay the bait!"

dweezil2

Two nuns on a park bench, when a streaker runs past.
One has a stroke, the other can't reach!
Savalas Seed Bandcamp: https://savalasseed1.bandcamp.com/releases

"He's The Law 45th anniversary music video"
https://youtu.be/qllbagBOIAo

The Legendary Shark

Two nuns are riding bikes through the backstreets. "I've never come this way before," says the first nun. "Neither have I," says the second, "it must be the cobbles."
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Anzati

A man walks into a bar...

...ouch

ZenArcade

A guy walks into an off license in North Belfast, buys a bottle of wine and heads for the counter. There, is the usual wee bottle blonde lassie of about 17, slouching behind the counter, chewing gum and on the mobile to her mate. The guy stands for a while and eventually the girl deigns to notice him. So with a sigh and roll of the eyes, she puts the mobile down and totes up his bill. "That'll be 10.66 mister" she snaps. The guy is fairly clever and atttempts some drollery: "ah, 10.66" says he "Battle of Hastings". The wee girl looks at him as if he is from Pluto and after a few moments confused pause, retorts: "we don't sell no battles of Hastings in here". Z
Ed is dead, baby Ed is...Ed is dead

Spikes

Did you hear about the constipated Mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.....

Rog69

Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he keep drawing pictures of my parents fighting?

von Boom

What do you give poorly pig?


Oinment.