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Excellent stuff, thankyou.  No luck with eBay as yet, but the British Council's looking promising.

Evening all.  Do any of you fine, fine people know of anywhere that sells foreign-language textbooks?  Specifically, I'm trying to find Lithuanian or Russian science textbooks aimed at a secondary school / GCSE level.

Amazon, Waterstones and Blackwells all have an admirable range of books about foreign languages but apparently not many in them, and a quick look on Google just seems to turn up a number of sites which are either quite dodgy-looking or completely defunct.

I know this is a slightly odd request, but given the board's collective experience of both academia and trawling the internet I figure there's a good chance that someone will be able to help.  He says, confidently.

Cheers.

the phrase running through my head was "Tripods, not Triffids".

And as if by magic, the Beeb declare their next remake...

Say it with triffids

see also 'got a cute little tortoise'

And 'I could do with a toastie'.  Never heard the bedroom one before, though, that's genius.

... the hell?

I mean, that's just... that's beyond... gah, what the hell?  Tony, you and the folks who received the letter have my utmost sympathy, for what it's worth - I can't imagine how it must feel to be subjected to something like that.

Seriously, I'm glad to see this nutjob hasn't put you off writing for Tharg.  Stalag 666 absolutely belongs in the prog; it's a solid tale and its comparative simplicity makes it a good counterpoint to the more convoluted strips which've been cropping up lately.

And that Citi-Def thing looks the business.

I surely can't be the only person who automatically keeps reading that as 'giant hardon collider'?

Gah, now you've got me doing it.  You've completely ruined high-energy particle physics for me.

(Still... you'd think that some enterprising photoshop-monkey would've made something of this by now...)

Moon Nazis... are they better or worse than undead Nazis?  I think we need some sort of Nazi-variant league table here.  I mean, picture the scene: you're strolling merrily down the street when a Moon Nazi lands in front of you and an undead Nazi leaps out behind you.  How are you supposed to decide which way to flee without an accurate assessment of their relative nastiness?

One of the things I really like about this board is that, on the whole, people don't seem to get away with just randomly slagging something off.  It's not that the boarders here won't unsheathe their claws and tear into a story, but most of the criticism I've seen around these parts has been explained, backed up and justified to some degree; you're less likely to see "this was crap" than "I thought this was crap because..." followed by a detailed dissection of plot, pacing, dialogue or whatever's deemed to be at fault.  I'd go so far as to say it's been educational, as I certainly wasn't as analytical about such things before I frequented the board.

Granted, I could just be reading these threads through a rose-tinted monitor and skipping anyone who doesn't present their slagging-off in a suitably polite and eloquent manner, but in the end it's the witty, intelligent and reasoned discussion that's shaped my opinion of the board in the sweet-Odin-that's-a-lot-of years since I joined.      

Ho!  Now, back to lurking.

I'm intrigued now.  What could the dinosaurs have done to warrant their annihilation?  Surely there's a limit to the sinning you can achieve when you've got a brain the size of a walnut and no opposable thumbs.

I'm not sure about giving the Doctor a mission or a specific purpose; I've always really liked the idea that he's just wandering around the universe more or less at random.  He's seeing the sights, taking in what the cosmos has to offer, and generally trying to stave off the bordeom and ennui that'd come from being a centuries-old immortal.  I think it'd lose something if he was carrying out specific missions and acting on someone's orders - that just seems less like Doctor Who and more, say, TimeCop.  

(Disclaimer: my Who-based experience basically consists of New Who, a handful of episodes with Ace in, and a couple of the books.  This may well be colouring my perceptions of who the Doctor is and how he should act)

Of course, you might have to explain why all his apparently-random destinations are inevitably beset by peril as soon as he arrives.  You could simply say the universe is a dangerous place, or that we're only seeing the interesting bits.  If you wanted something more then the mere suggestion of some larger purpose could be a big plot point if done properly - tie this in with DumbLad's idea of sparing references to the Timelords and the Doctor's habit of never quite admitting or denying his nature, and you could have some quality mystery on your hands.  

And Proudhuff's random-interior-Tardis would be the dog's proverbials.  Possibly quite literally, given the malfunctioning chameleon doodah.

When Sam woke up did he check to see if there had been a DCI Gene Hunt back in '73, or was the whole thing written off as his hallucination?

One of my favourite things about Life on Mars was the uncertainty over what had actually happened to Sam.  Ashes to Ashes seems to be heaping on the evidence for the hallucination theory; they might be sidestepping the question to avoid repeating LoM too much and give the series a different focus, or they might just be building up to a twist later on.

I'd guess they're either going to focus on why Alex is dreaming she's in 1981 and what she has to do to wake up, or else it's going to be revealed that everything really is about Gene somehow and that Sam and Alex were just there to help (no idea how that'd work without invoking some sort of shared near-death purgatory for policemen - Alex and Sam earn the chance to go back by helping Gene, who's already dead, or something).  

There were a couple of lines in this episode saying Alex should stick with Gene if things are to work out, so presumably he's going to be key whatever happens (er, above and beyond just being a main character, if that makes any sense).

"I can never figure out how NASA cover these things up by the bizarre tactic of releasing photos of them"

Presumably it's a cunning double bluff reverse psychology thingy to depress the shit out of anyone who'd be inclined to care.  Just look at Si's reaction.

COVER: Nice bit of splattery scrapping from the pen of Mr Elson.  Gene looks suitably brutal but Them arguably look even better, picked out in black and red.  Good stuff.

DREDD: Dunno where to start, really.  There's some proper detective work displayed, both from the street judges and their CSI people; it may be less flashy than having Dredd run around shooting at perps, but it does serve as a nice reminder that the Judges are actually police and not just armed bullies in funny hats.  Quite a few plot threads are juggled here - on top of the murder investigation we've got Dredd's relationship to Beeny, the strong possibility of a PJ Maybe copycat, the ongoing mutie issue and PJ's attempts to get at Ambrose's grandfather's fortune... and yet none of this feels rushed or cramped.  

Wagner and MacNeil have basically served up a page of text followed by five pages of people standing around talking, and it's a shining example of how awesomely good they are that this never comes across as even faintly dull or repetitive (no mean feat when you consider that most of the cast are essentially faceless and near-identical judges doing nothing more exciting than standing and talking).  Outstanding stuff.

SHAKARA: There's some plot development and some character stuff or something but frankly who cares about that because that's all just a prelude to the BIG STOMPY CYBORG DINOSAURS!  One brief glance at this page and I was grinning like a loon for the next half an hour.  As-cool-as-things-were-when-you-were-twelve stuff.

KINGDOM: Arr, here be plot stuff.  The urgings are back, talking to Gene, and while it suggests that they know quite a bit about the farm it doesn't shed any more light on the relationship between the Masters and the farmers.  There's the suggestion that there's something more than just the fence and a few guns keeping Them at bay, and no indication as to what that might be... other than the fact that the Urgings don't seem to want Gene thinking about it too much.  Then there's the hydroponic sheds where the meat is grown... My first thought was that this would turn out to be where the dog soldiers like Gene were grown, but if that were the case then the farmers would've recognised what he was.  They could be cloning people and eating the spares, but that seems a little too predictably FutureShock-esque.  I suppose they could even just be growing synthetic meat and it's only off-limits because it needs to be kept sterile, but what're the odds of that?  And Old Man Gary gets a mention.

If this ever gets collected it'd be interesting to see some of Elson's concept sketches for Them; it can't be easy to design what're basically giant bugs without making them look too much like scaled-up insects or cheap Alien copies.  Very, very good stuff indeed.

STICKLEBACK: Hmm, going to have to dig out Red Seas now - pretty certain we've seen the temple of Mithras and Dr Orlando Doyle before (unless I'm thinking of From Hell... but the good doctor does look somewhat like the necromancer chap from the first Red Seas arc).  Plot development and some quite extraordinarily good art from D'Israeli.  Top quality stuff.

STRONTIUM DOG: No major surprises here - Alpha is accused of cheating and kicked out of the casino, and decides to resort to bounty hunting to get the rest of the money they need.  Not quite sure how that'll work out, given that he's now got a huge bounty on his head, but he appears to have a plan.  This tale hasn't displayed the same level of surprise and outright weirdness as the rest of the current crop of thrills (at least, not yet) but it's well done nonetheless.  Good solid stuff.

OVERALL: Another top-grade prog.  I think one of the key elements that makes the current lineup so enjoyable is unpredictability; there's no telling how the mutant issue's going to play out in Dredd, Kingdom's stacking up a fair wodge of mysteries, Stickleback has already thrown big stompy steampunk things, undead cowboys, Chinese vampires and hidden temples at us, and frankly it's anyone's guess as to what Shakara's next slice of gonzo alien bizarreness will be.  The wait for the next prog would be unbearable, were it not for the fact that the art on each strip is gorgeous enough to just stare at for at least a week.  Much more of this and 'Galaxy's Greatest Comic' really won't be doing it justice.

COVER: Tentacly dribbly mutie weirdness from the brush of Simon Davis - an entertainingly gross image and very well painted.  Top stuff.

DREDD: Wagner.  Macneil.  Mutie law reform.  MC1 cits being as lovely as usual.  Beeny working with Dredd again.  If that was the sum total of this story it would still be utterly excellent, but given that it's part one of a tale called "Emphatically Evil: the life and times of PJ Maybe" it's pretty safe to assume it'll get even better.  Very, outstandingly, supremely good stuff.  And then some.

SHAKARA: Liked the city-sized wanted posters and the promised reward of an entire galaxy for whoever slays the gimpish one.  Less gonzo weirdy splatterification than last week, but more plot - Dr Procopio's on the hunt for Shakara, though she may well be having second thoughts about that by the end page... Very good stuff here.

KINGDOM: Another helping of Elson's utterly lovely art here.  We get to see a bit more of the promised land and the townsfolk, a new type of Them and, soon after, a pretty good reminder of why Gene's called Hackman.  Which is just as well, as it looks like the town's facing a pretty big assault from Them any day now.  The tick things get a mention, too, so they'll probably turn out to be important.  Unless they're not, in a red-herringy sort of way.  More hints about the folks in the promised land and their relationship (or lack of) to the Masters.  Very very good stuff, and an ever-increasing worry that Elson's going to be poached away from us any day now.

STICKLEBACK: Fight scene!  The undead actually give ol' Sticky and co a bit of trouble; looks like things might not go entirely their way on this caper, lords of the underworld or not (which is a good thing, of course, since it would be a trifle unexciting otherwise).  Tasty work from D'Israeli, as we've come to expect.  Stickleback's grin in particular is a thing of beauty (black, twisted beauty, granted, but that's beside the point).  Dead good stuff, hideous pun intended.

STRONTIUM DOG: Our intrepid heroes make their way to Club Paradiso, the proverbial hive of scum and, apparantly, buttocks.  Nice little setting which Wagner and Ezquerra manage to imbue with character in just a couple of pages without excessive exposition or unsubtle scene-setting.  Despite the fact that we've seen most of the elements here before (space station, Johnny gambling, and so on) this still doesn't feel predictable or tired.   Very good stuff.  

Overall, another brilliant prog and a sterling example of pure thrill-power.  We're being spoiled, we really are: there's not a single piece of art in this comic that dips below eye-bleedingly gorgeous, and none of the stories are any less than excellent - not only that, but most of them promise to get even better.  And there's a letters page.  Take a bow, oh green and glorious one.