2000 AD Online Forum

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, thrills in every store!

Oooooooh, it's here, the highlight of the year, welcome to the ELEVENTH 2000AD Advent Calendar!!! 

Last year, we kept this thread comment free and full of juicy Christmas Thrillpower so I'll start a new thread for comments here: https://forums.2000ad.com/index.php?topic=46169.0 (https://forums.2000ad.com/index.php?topic=46169.0)

This years' offering from me is a VERY exciting, it's a very exclusive scoop!

(https://i.postimg.cc/R0rFbfpL/Button-man-logo-cropped.png)

Okay, so I reached out to NETFLIX and asked them if they could update me on the forthcoming BUTTON MAN series. I was amazed when they got back in touch and said they had completed the pilot and were about to release a teaser trailer! I told them about this site – how we were all fans and how we have this annual advent calendar. I cheekily asked if I could premiere the trailer on here and they only went and said "YES!"

I really like what they've done with it. The tone is spot on; you can actually compare stills from the trailer with panels from the comic! It's THAT good! They've obviously spent some money on it and the unknown actors seem to have the chops to carry the whole thing off.

So... here you go folks, the WORLD EXCLUSIVE BUTTON MAN TRAILER is here:

https://youtu.be/cS6VfPKSF_I (https://youtu.be/cS6VfPKSF_I)

Enjoy!


Thanks in advance to everybody who signed up to the calendar, I can't wait to see what you come up with! Also, a massive thanks to all the folks who've contributed to the board this year, you all make my day! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GRUD BLESS US EVERYONE!



Also, here's my back catalogue of shite 2000AD Christmas films - absolutely dire!


2018 – "Good King Calos": https://youtu.be/Oqn4i8iDMvs (https://youtu.be/Oqn4i8iDMvs)
2017 - "Check the Walls": https://youtu.be/ZKMXaRYQdOc
 (https://youtu.be/ZKMXaRYQdOc)
2016 - TOY STORIES FROM MEZCO-CITY ONE: https://youtu.be/aVW811Je8s0
 (https://youtu.be/aVW811Je8s0)
2015 - Enceladus the Musical: https://youtu.be/GC7haW5xtaw
 (https://youtu.be/GC7haW5xtaw)
2014 - "Christmas at Billy Carter Block": http://youtu.be/XjFY8-eWMlQ (http://youtu.be/XjFY8-eWMlQ)

2013 - "Winter Wonderland: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OznCjhK18kQ&feature=youtu.be
 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OznCjhK18kQ&feature=youtu.be)
2012 - "Death's Nuts Roasting on an Angry Fire": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdwo0OWfVe8
 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdwo0OWfVe8)
2011 - "Christmas Alphabet": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPGGyeVXwGU
 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPGGyeVXwGU)
2010 - "Joe Dredd the Lawman": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fowIRnklOH8
 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fowIRnklOH8)
2009 - "Twas the Night Before Christmas": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hroYikzx5n8

 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hroYikzx5n8)

Merry Christmas you lovely Squaxx!!!

I can't compete with Pete's arse, but

(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/78828934_2534445733466554_1244804281136054272_o.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_ohc=X4eyjAFbPzgAQl1-lWX9Za4yJIsRUWM1J3vher52gCaEOpt30H7-vDTuw&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=4688d2e98f8ce1bccd4df2c6e676db93&oe=5E3FCBA6)

Wishing you all a very Merry ABChristmas!

Snow Angel:

(https://i.imgur.com/Hk2GPzv.png)


(https://i.imgur.com/UAz0RLu.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/VEsHV2m.jpg)

Behind the first of two advent windows today is a podcast episode mostly recorded at Thought Bubble featuring Tharg and some of his greatest droids, along with several super fans, all recounting their favourite Carlos Ezquerra character, story, moments, or some personal memories of the great man himself.
Listen in for stories from John Wagner, Dave Gibbons, John McCrea, Matt Smith, and Sean Phillips among others.
https://megacitybookclub.blogspot.com/2019/12/108-remembering-carlos.html
Or on your favourite podcatcher.

The cover art for the episode has kindly been provided by the artist Damian Edwardson and was used as the basis of this year's Lawless convention poster. The original artwork will be a prize in the Xmas raffle which will be along later today.

And the second window for today contains the video for this year's Christmas raffle.

https://youtu.be/CRD4ylWqBvI

If you don't want to watch the whole 7 minutes (my wife did complain about having to hold the camera up for that long!) here are the basics

The prizes are:
The subscriber notebook and pen which has been signed, and in some cases sketched, by 58 of Tharg's finest creators.
The original artwork by Damian Edwardson of that Carlos image from this year's Lawless convention, this has been generously donated by Damian himself.
A copy of Turbo Jones signed by Ian Kennedy and Barrie Tomlinson.
The John Higgins boxset of prints signed by Mr Higgins.
And a Judge Dredd enamel pin badge donated by Niche comics and books in Huntingdon.

Tickets are £2 each
Don't add gift aid as you are buying a virtual ticket.
Do tick the box that allows me to contact you if you win.
The draw will be done during the afternoon of Sunday December 15th so you have until midday on the 15th to get your ticket(s). I will video the draw and post it up here as usual.

And all of this is for cancer research UK, with every penny going direct to them through the justgiving site.
Postage is free and I will try and get them to you securely before Christmas.

Go to
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/megacitybookclub
to get your ticket and good luck!

Quote from: Eamonn Clarke on 03 December, 2019, 12:49:53 PM
And the second window for today contains the video for this year's Christmas raffle.

https://youtu.be/CRD4ylWqBvI

If you don't want to watch the whole 7 minutes (my wife did complain about having to hold the camera up for that long!) here are the basics

The prizes are:
The subscriber notebook and pen which has been signed, and in some cases sketched, by 58 of Tharg's finest creators.
The original artwork by Damian Edwardson of that Carlos image from this year's Lawless convention, this has been generously donated by Damian himself.
A copy of Turbo Jones signed by Ian Kennedy and Barrie Tomlinson.
The John Higgins boxset of prints signed by Mr Higgins.
And a Judge Dredd enamel pin badge donated by Niche comics and books in Huntingdon.

Tickets are £2 each
Don't add gift aid as you are buying a virtual ticket.
Do tick the box that allows me to contact you if you win.
The draw will be done during the afternoon of Sunday December 15th so you have until midday on the 15th to get your ticket(s). I will video the draw and post it up here as usual.

And all of this is for cancer research UK, with every penny going direct to them through the justgiving site.
Postage is free and I will try and get them to you securely before Christmas.

Go to
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/megacitybookclub
to get your ticket and good luck!

That reminds me - there's a few auctions ending in the next half hour!

ebay (https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/medic_ut?_trksid=p2055359.m1431.l2754) (sorry for interrupting the advent calendar thread!)

Since Franks entry err disappeared somehow i kinda wanted to fill in the day 4 hole so theres not an empty day so heres the time when me and my american buddy called Kazan talked about the stories that were in prog 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXZDnQ06j6M

Well the standard has been so high - so high in fact some have melted the internet it would seem - that I want to make it feel more accessible to untalented guffs like me, I'll bring the standard right now... so on the theme of our missing masterpiece (kinda) I bring you...

Walking in a Pete Wells Wonderland
(to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland)

(https://i.imgur.com/mrvo9YA.png)

A macabre little tale. Hope you enjoy it.

A Deadworld Christmas Party

Death fussed around the dying-room. It was the first midwinter since the last breath of life had been extinguished from the planet, and he was in a celebratory mood. He wanted everything to be perfect for the evening's ceremonies. The cobwebs and dead bats hanging from what was once a tree looked just right. The damp and mouldy logs in the hearth cast out freezing cold. The canapes had been festering in the basement for months, and were now completely inedible.

His reverie was interrupted by the acrid aroma of scorched napalm reaching his undead nostrils. The first of his lieutenants had arrived.

"Monssssieur Fire! How wonderful that you are my firsssst footer! Would you care for a glasssss of red?"

"Yesssss, thank you, shall I ignite it mysssself?"

The cobwebs on the tree whispered in response to a tangible sense of dread. A bear trap clattered to the floor as Fear swept in.

The three chatted about phobias and whether a continent could burn for a whole century. Before too long, an unbearable stench of decay overwhelmed them.

"Greetingssss, I trussst the ceremoniessss have not yet begun?"

"No, brother Mortissss" replied Death, "but now we are all here, we can begin. We have rid our world of all crime and the life that caussssed it, but what of itsss remnantssss? We cannot risssk any of what were once part of life bringing back the cursssse. Fire, what gift have you brought for me?"

"Gold, ssssire. There are sssstill resssserves of it under the ssssurface around the world. The greed for it hassss causssed much death over the centuriessss, but it also gave much happinessss to the sssinnersss. I will burn it all until nothing but asssh remainssss."

"Good. Proceed, brother. Fear, what of you?"

"Inssssence. It was ussssed by the ssssinnersssss to massssk other smells, including that of Fear. It still lingersss in the ruined churchessss. I will desssstroy it all."

"Carry on. And Mortissss?"

"Myrrh. Usssed to presssserve the dead, a perverssse inverssssion of my own noble caussssse. I will sssseek out the lassst of it and convert it all to dead fluidssss."

"You have done well, my brotherssss. Ssssee that all tracessss of the accursssssed emblemssss of life are dessssstroyed. Truly we will make our world a place fit only for Death."

The foul creatures then partied long into the dark night of their dead souls, celebrating the destruction of life and everything after.

We all know Tharg is really driving that sleigh...spreading thrill power to all the good girls and boys.

(https://i.imgur.com/IPGk52L.png)

Excuse the very sketchy pic, I'll be working it up and splashing some colour about in a bit. I was determined to get something done this year after I failed to last time. Happy Christmas, citizens!


(https://i.imgur.com/UcGAuoc.jpg)

With a bit of quick colour.


(https://i.imgur.com/XDavk5F.jpg)

Posting for GAIL NEDRY.
Last year she could post to the boards, now she can't. Hopefully links should work as Gail sent them on email.

FINK ANGEL meets PREACHER CAIN.

(https://i.imgur.com/xsCkwqH.jpg)

HALO JONES- Space Pirate.

(https://i.imgur.com/LcutyAU.jpg)

DAY 11
More GAIL NEDRY lovelyness. Anyone know why she can't post here anymore?

(https://i.imgur.com/s805ZlL.jpg)

Todays offering- Print out and colour in!

(https://i.imgur.com/U0aAFR1.jpg)

ZZZZT ++ DO‰RWǬ ++ UPLÇNK ++ ÑULZ±•E ++ 20î5 ++ Æ/R~BR¶ÐGœ (https://forums.2000ad.com/index.php?topic=45315.msg1019401#msg1019401) ++ ENÐ

Todays offering from the WONDEROUS GAIL NEDRY.

HERSHEY- HO-HO-HO

(https://i.imgur.com/DUExhYO.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/7fqNXXg.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/MoJc6Wa.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/I0905sy.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/sRP7kTv.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/7Leo6lu.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/2NBRLPM.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/dub3jtB.jpg)

++ TAU-ÐؤRWAÝ ++ UþL¶ÑK ++ ÑULZ‰NE ++ 20î5 ++ Æ/R~ßR¶ÐGœ (https://forums.2000ad.com/index.php?topic=45315.msg1019685#msg1019685) ++ ENÐ

Hang on...]

(https://brianwalsh.smugmug.com/My-First-Gallery/n-ncr3KW/i-GXzNhB7/A)

Another compo this year, with help from Eddie Hitler. It's the Christmas Creeptic Crossword! Every answer is a Dreddworld character - it could be their full name, surname or nickname.  A little bit of past cryptic crossword practice will help, but far more important is a knowledge of Dreddular history (Nothing too obscure though; you won't find O'Rork or Judge Paddy Wilde here).

You can do it over the Christmas period and get your completed entries back no later than the 5th of January (a reasonable screenshot attached to a PM to me will do the trick).

First correctly completed crossword out of the hat wins first prize, which is (compliments of Eddie) a copy of Michael Carroll's book Judges Vol 2 (Avalanche version), signed by the Carroll droid himself. You'll also get a decorative plate printed with my new Dreddhead illustration above, minus the daft hat of course.

Two runners-up get just the plates.

Here's a link to the crossword (and while 24 across is easy enough, I'm quite proud of the clue).
Good luck and Merry Christmas from me and Eddie Hitler!

https://crosswordlabs.com/view/christmas-creeptic-crossword (https://crosswordlabs.com/view/christmas-creeptic-crossword)

Can't seem to post my image, though! Can anyone suggest a method?

Here's a link at least

https://photos.smugmug.com/photos/i-GXzNhB7/0/f6b8af5a/X2/i-GXzNhB7-X2.jpg (https://photos.smugmug.com/photos/i-GXzNhB7/0/f6b8af5a/X2/i-GXzNhB7-X2.jpg)

(https://photos.smugmug.com/photos/i-GXzNhB7/0/f6b8af5a/X2/i-GXzNhB7-X2.jpg)

Ah! There we go. Now get crosswording  :)

(https://i.imgur.com/NNNyO29.jpg)

2000AD Treasury Special: Giant Hyperhero Holiday Grab-bag
A deluxe edition of 2000AD's mightiest heroes!

Starting today, and running till Saturday - Rogue Trooper - Silent Night by David Thomas and art machine Scott Twells!

Sit back and relax with a hot cocoa as you merrily peruse these...

(https://i.imgur.com/j9DB6lO.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/8OayiON.jpg)

Speech bubbles (known professionally as chatter balloons or, more usually, dialogue simulators or, more accurately, things the characters are saying presented in a rounded container with a little spike that aims towards the speaking character's vocal orifice) were more common cover occurences back in the "good" age of comics, which (as you can see from the data) was before these young 'uns with their new-fangled notions were even born. Back in my day, cover was first page t'story 'n' Mr. 'Erriot shoved his fist up a cow on tele etc.

(https://i.imgur.com/S4es7Td.png)

And so we enjoyed Tharg dressed up as Santa and intoning "Splundig Vur Ho, Ho, Ho!" or Waldo D.R. Dobbs wishing us "Like, Yuletide Greetings, Man!" S'right. By the time 1988 rolls around: having comics actually be comics on the front cover was seen as terribly old-fashioned, like disco (which had been rebranded as techno). Dark times followed, and S-Club-7 were a thing. Tharg looks out at us from the cover of 1990's prog 710, tight-lipped (with a miniature Santa on his lap), desperate to say something but disallowed by the Cool Police of those times. Plus, who wants to pay a letterer page rate for one pithy statement, right?

(https://i.imgur.com/xq3x7vn.jpg)

With a new millenium comes new hope as Dredd orders a purse snatcher (in the cunning guise of a snowman) to "Freeze, creep!" on the cover of 2002's Megazine (volume 4, issue 6). But still, many continued to frown upon this bubbling frivolity, and it's not until 2007 that we get our next cover-mounted verbal dirigible as Dredd enjoys opening up a non-denominational winter gift with a "Ho, Ho Drokkin' Ho, Creeps!" (repeated most recently in 2015 by Judge Santa: clearly a jimp in need of cube time).

(https://i.imgur.com/oLYWSm1.jpg)

But what about that festive slump, where for five gloomy years (1997-2001) there was no cover-mounted celebration of the shared delight that is the season of gifts? It would be easy to blame Bish-Op and, latterly, the entire nation of New Zealand: so let's do that. They're on the other side of the planet, anyway: what can they do? We can all whole-heartedly agree that The Hobbit trilogy clearly cements the case that they're a country of united Chrimbo-haters. Enjoy, then, this season of (northern hemispherical) coverly love...

(https://i.imgur.com/3fZ13Zm.jpg)


(https://i.imgur.com/kkXoDVZ.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/0Jip97s.png) (https://i.imgur.com/eFuk1GV.png)

Journey through time with these glimpses of yesteryears' thrills:
- Thrill-Coma: Best of the Meg - 2015 (Second Half Blinder) (https://forums.2000ad.com/index.php?topic=45393.msg1019784#msg1019784)
- Stages of 2000 AD - Megazine: Vol. 1 (https://forums.2000ad.com/index.php?topic=45960.msg1019785#msg1019785)

Here's my bit. My apologies, it's later than intended.

I think it could use a bit of work but I hope you like it.

The Bearded Man Job_ Part 1 (https://kvisit.com/8QE/ydcG)

I can't edit above any more, so apologies for the second comment. If you follow the link and click the 'download file' it should download a pdf to your browser.

(https://i.imgur.com/1l0ipTH.jpg)

Happy Holidays! As part of the 2000AD Forums Advent Calendar Fox and Conrad recorded a commentary track to be played alongside the 1995 Judge Dredd movie, starring Slyvester Stallone, Diane Lane, and Armand Assante! All you need is a copy of the movie and you're ready to watch along with your chums from Space Spinner as we check out this much maligned piece of Thrill-Cinema.

Direct Download (http://ow.ly/8vkj50xELeT)
iTunes (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/space-spinner-2000/id1162479912?mt=2)
Google (https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/ps/Iyrcaybmzmrupjzvsk7rbme5ymy)
Stitcher (https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/stranger-by-the-dozen/space-spinner-2000)
Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/3Ih1CZpbdDGnb0aJthCind?si=XS_rRSmnRRKfjliu5lXGtQ)
Or on your favorite podcast app!

Please let me know what you think, and happy holidays!

join us tomorrow for the finale!

Many thanks to David and Scott, and Merry Christmas to all Squaxx!

Below is a link to a complete pdf of the strip

Rogue Trooper - Silent Night (http://www.futurequake.co.uk/imagebucket/Downloads/SilentNight-Digital.pdf)

It's that time of the year again. after an unexpected break last year I managed to force my american non scrot friend to read something from the deep thrill vaults. What did I make Kazan who remember barely knows anything 2000ad wise read this year?

https://youtu.be/0UgweejQnpM (https://youtu.be/0UgweejQnpM)

Merry christmas folks..... :lol:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?

(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/80773622_1201299670074771_596207847994294272_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_ohc=LJBaTCSqhZoAQlBPyjKijy4bkOJG8H5Ua9ZZkz37InJyN7WF2pjKp5kMw&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=79a4f268179023ff78ef4baf4b7f68b5&oe=5E7794A2)

Merry Xmas to all you wonderful drokkers on here . (https://i.imgur.com/HHSK331.jpg)

filippo

From Nick Percival's tweeter feed:

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EMjC0tnX0AAueNJ.jpg)

As with every year the contributions to the 2000AD advent calendar are AMAZING! To everyone on the forum, have a great Christmas and a happy 2020.

(https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jUGJEW7ACCY/XgH-qTz0pfI/AAAAAAAADRc/T3bEb6_DxuoCN1_c1gr1TOsIdpWtQ8OYwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/xdredd2.jpg)

Unfortunately I don't have time to create anything new this year, but here's an older one with a new coat of paint and the serial numbers filed off...

(http://www.michaelowencarroll.com/pics/grudmas2019.jpg)

(Which reminds me: you can check out my awesome Cambermeg Green video on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C89cOezVwpc)... amazingly, it's now five years old!)

Lotsa love,
Mike
My website (http://www.michaelowencarroll.com)
Rusty Staples comics blog (http://michaelowencarroll.wordpress.com)

From Judge Lau on Facebook, a nice riff on that Brett Ewins QC cover:

(https://i.imgur.com/gbOkLSr.jpg)

Christmas isn't Christmas without a good ghost story. Unfortunately, I haven't got a good ghost story so you'll have to make do with this pretentious pile of piffle instead. Sit back with a glass of the necessary and enjoy this chilling seasonal tale of supernatural doings, cowboy diplomacy and really big bombs...
Hunched high on craggy cliffs hard by the seething Sea of Reverie, braced against a roaring hurricane of death-black nightmares, stands the Fortress of Consequence. It is not a very old fortress, as these things go, but certainly looks it. The blocks of grimite from which it is made have been worn smooth by the ceaseless hurricane, kept slick and slimy by the relentless advance of envisalgae, and deeply stained  by periodic gales of wet dreams.

In the damp and smelly bowels of the Fortress, huddled around a miserable fire that doesn't so much radiate heat as absorb cold, three weird figures sit in uncomfortable silence. Or as uncomfortably silent as it's possible to get sitting inside what is basically a stone echo-chamber in the really windy part of a hurricane made of nightmares. Which is, unsurprisingly, far more uncomfortable than it is silent.

The first of the three purloined protagonists in our Annual Advent Calendar tale, a pathetic, childlike wraith of a thing with sad eyes and a luminous head, clears his throat like a sparrow choking on custard powder. 'How standeth the hour?'

The second, a Titan with itchy green robes, an itchy crown of ivy and a flaking red rash covering his flabby cheeks and bulbous nose, sighs. 'What difference does it make?'

'I mean,' the pathetic wraith says, his voice thinner than midsummer night, 'what be the hour up above?'

'Time you were going,' says the green clad Titan, his fingers scratching absently at his ribs.

'Right then,' says the wraith, but makes no move to rise from his nest of damp and mouldy Teddy bears. The nightmare enhanced silence descends again, resting over the three like a used fire blanket thrown into a ditch. 'Art we of a mind? Doth our mark truly require our attention 'pon this Eve of Yule? Most certain, there must be others with whom our truck wouldst be more... agreeable?'

The Titan produces a scrap of grubby paper from the folds of his grubby green robes and carefully unfolds it with thick grubby fingers. Wiping a dew drop from the end of his bulbous red nose with the back of his itchy green sleeve, he coughs up a glob of brown phlegm, spits it into the ailing fire and then holds out the scrap of paper towards the wraith. 'See? Just one name.'

'Thou knowest I am without letters,' the wraith says, folding his pathetic arms and sliding into a deep sulk. His luminous head fades slightly.

The Titan sighs and holds the paper towards the third figure, an angular assortment of dull yellow bones clad in robes woven from the deepest subterranean shadows. 'Affirmative,' the bag of bones says in a voice that sounds like an elephant farting into a tin barrel, 'just the one name, Dude.'

'Maybe He hath an error made?' The wraith's voice is as quiet as he can make it, his sad eyes darting about as if trying to locate an invisible wasp.

The other two suppress gasps. 'Shh,' says the Titan urgently.

'Grud the Almighty ain't given to makin' mistakes,' the bag of bones says, loud enough to be heard clearly yet not so loud as to sound desperately sycophantic. 'Chronology dictates that your departure is at hand, Old Lad,' she continues. 'Now get gone, before events nucleate into a knotty perplexion.'

The wraith huffs and raises himself from his nest of mouldy Teddy bears. 'Why canst thou not speak in the proper fashion?' he asks sulkily. Then his luminous head flares to such brightness that the other two have to shield their eyes. When they look back, the wraith is gone.

'Brave little fellow,' says the Titan, scratching at his scalp.

The bag of bones snorts and returns to the task of evicting spiders from her ribcage. 'The guy's a nukedweeb,' she says, shuddering as she pulls yard after yard of dusty cobwebs out of herself like a horrid magician. 'Your turn next,' she adds in an absent tone, her constant fixed smile seeming to glint with malice.

The Titan shudders and falls into deep thought, his piggy little eyes drawn back to the feeble conflagration in the hearth.


'I be ye Ghost of Christmases Discarded,' says the wraith.

Judge Dredd looks up from the perps he's beating into submission, his visor spotted with blood. 'Is that so?' he growls, his lip curling into a snarl.

'Indeed it be,' says the wraith, his head glowing like an all-nite slapshop sign. 'Thou must change thy ways or be forever damned! My undertaking is to transpose thee back in time and present unto thee...'

'First and only warning, Creep,' Dredd says, clubbing the last of the nine perps into unconsciousness, 'get lost now or face the consequences, understand?'

'But thy eternal soul stands in dire danger,' the wraith says, 'and Almighty Grud hath charged me and my brethren with the duty of saving it.' The wraith holds out his spindly hand. 'Come hither and witness...'

'Okay, Creep,' Dredd says, reaching into one of the pouches on his utility belt, 'you asked for it.'

Judge Dredd scoops out a Boing® Bombᵀᴹ and throws it at the wraith. The bomb explodes and envelopes the wraith in a sphere of sticky plastic, paralysing him completely. 'Interfering with a judge in the lawful execution of his duties, five years in the juve cubes, for a start,' Dredd says.

The wraith squeals in alarm and disappears, taking the sphere of Boing® with him.

Dredd looks at the space where the wraith used to be and grunts, half in frustration and half in satisfaction. 'Control,' he says into his helm-comm, 'patch me through to Psi Division. Got a possible Code Dickens over here.'


The wraith pops back into existence inside the Fortress of Consequence, still encased in a solid bubble of Boing®.

'Good Grud,' says the green clad Titan, scratching at his wrists, 'what happened to you?'

'Mmmm, mm mmm mm mmmn!' says the wraith.

'Best bust him loose,' says the bag of bones, barely able to control her glee.

The Titan grips the sphere of Boing® and, with no small measure of effort, rips it apart. 'What happened?' he asks of the wraith, who crouches in his nest of mouldy and damp old Teddy bears, gasping for breath.

'I hath failed,' wheezes the wraith, 'failed to show to him a single event from his juvelinity! Didn't extemorise to present to him the lessons Judge Tutor Fezziwig strained to teach him, or how Cadet Belle opined and lamented upon him! He's a bastard,' the wraith says, 'a complete and utter bastard! 'Tis impractibable,' he concludes with feeling.

'Shit,' says the Titan, scratching at his elbow.

'Your turn next, Dawg,' says the bag of bones with unconstrained glee.

'Now, just hold on there for one minute,' says the Titan, making a show of rearranging his itchy green robes into a semblance of order, 'maybe we could...'

'There ain't not no maybe,' the bag of bones says, waving her skeletal hand in a most dismissive fashion, 'time for you to bring home the bacon, Bud.'

The Titan sighs, knowing that his time has come, and disappears in a flash of fairy lights and a puff of forest dust.


'I am the Ghost of Winterfest Present,' says the Titan, scratching at the back of his ankle with his other foot.

'Figures,' says Judge Dredd, looking up from the Democracy Now! nuke he's disarming.

'This the sap you saw earlier?' asks Judge Anderson, suddenly taking an interest in Dredd's narrative.

'Nope,' says Dredd, 'different creep, same schtick.'

'Okay, classic Dickens. You were right,' says Anderson, closing her eyes and pressing two fingers against her temple. 'Give me a sec.'

'It's my job to show you how your actions have effected people in the present, and how a small but significant alteration in your attitude could make this world a much better place,' says the Titan, scratching his ear. 'For example, one of the so called perps you just sentenced to twenty years in the cubes could improve the overall well-being of all the citizens in Mega City One by promoting a sort of communal acceptance of...'

'Got it,' Anderson says. 'It's a kind of pan-human subdimensional morphic field parasite with...'

'Just get rid of it, Anderson,' Dredd says, extracting the nuke's detonator core. 'I ain't got all night.'

'Now, just you hang on a minute...' the Titan says, holding out both hands. 'The fate of your eternal soul...'

'Begone!' Anderson shouts, her brow furrowed. Slim rivulets of blood trickle from her nose and ears as she strains to impose her psychic will on the invading spectre. The Titan shrieks and collapses in on himself with a dim but significant popping sound.

'Got it,' Dredd says, laying the disconnected nuclear detonator to one side. 'Control, Dredd. Tek Division to my location, fusion device for safe disposal, priority two.'

Anderson massages her temples, weary to the core of her bones. 'Probably one more to come,' she says. 'What do you want to do about it?'

'You fit for a pre-emptive retaliation?'

Anderson frowns. 'What you got in mind?'

'These things come at us all the time, Anderson. More and more every year.' Anderson raises her eyebrow at this. Dredd's lip curls and he says, 'I pay attention.'

'I never doubted it,' Anderson says, waving away the comment with an airy sweep of her hand. 'Again, what you got in mind?'

Dredd looks down at the disassembled nuke and says into his helm-comm, 'Tek Division, change of plan; scrub the disposal and get an armourer down here at the double.'

'Isn't that a bit drastic, Joe?'

Dredd shakes his head. 'These things are a nuisance, a nuisance that's turning into a threat. They've succeeded, though, made me see the error of my ways. Time I stopped being so soft on these goofballs.' He looks up as the whine of a Tek Division shuttle increases from above. 'When I'm done, they'll think twice about comin' back.'

'Or take offence,' Anderson says, her hair whipping in the shuttle's exhaust.

'That's up to them,' Dredd says, returning the shuttle pilot's curt wave. 'Either way, I want these creeps out of my city for good.'


Cont.../

  /...Continued




The Titan blinks back into existence inside the Fortress of Consequence, panting heavily and bleeding from his eyes, nose, and ears. 'Jovus,' he says through ragged breath, 'that guy's a right bastard and no mistake.'


'Thou seest?' says the wraith, whose head is beginning to regain some of its former glowy glory. 'He be a proper bastard – I told thee thus!'


The Titan and the wraith turn their eyes upon the bag of bones. She smiles. She raises a hand and bows her head, and takes a step back. 'Now,' she says, speaking with the utmost care, 'we must apply strict and unerring logic to every situation in itself, as it were...'


'It's your bloody turn,' booms the Titan, rubbing the back of his neck.


'But, we're a team,' the bag of bones says.


'Aye,' says the waif, 'and thou art up, Sister.'


'No, you misunderstand.' The bag of bones draws herself up to her full height which, even though only coming up to the Titan's chest, makes her dull yellow bones look tough and solid and unyielding. 'We operate as a team, in strict order. The success of each is vital to the success of all. And you two have failed.'


'How dare you!' The Titan has to bend almost double to shout into the bag of bones' hood, blowing it off her dull yellow head. She does not flinch.


'There's nothing for it,' she says, folding her arms, 'I'll take my turn, of course. But first, you two will have to try again.'


'My brethren,' the wraith whispers, pointing a pathetic and spindly finger at a strange distortion forming in the depths of the gasping fire, 'what do you suppose that be?'


'Try... try again? I've never heard... that's the most idiotic...' the Titan bellows into the implacable bag of bones' smiling face.


'He's in the fire,' the wraith says. 'Oh Grud and all his Heavenly Rangers protect us, he's in the fire...'


'What are you babbling...'


'You three,' shouts Dredd through an undulating psychic hole in the fireplace, 'this is your only warning. Earth, including and especially Mega City One, is hereby off-limits to you and all your kind. If I see any one of you again, you'll all regret it.'


'See?' says the bag of bones, 'there's not a single logical, mathematical or philosophical argument for me to go up there now.'


'You creeps spread the word,' Dredd barks, 'and just in case you think I ain't serious, you got thirty seconds to get clear.' Dredd heaves a hefty silver cylinder through the undulating psychic hole and it clunks down the hearth and turns over a sad table, upsetting a sad repast onto a sad floor. 'Stay out of my city.'


The three gawp at Dredd, who turns away and says, 'Okay, Anderson, shut it down.'


'Yeah,' a fainter voice says, 'I'm working on it.'


'We should get out of here before that thing goes off.' The Titan turns back to the bag of bones, scratching at his knee, but she is nowhere to be seen. 'Margaret?' He sighs and mumbles, 'Bloody typical,' before turning to the wraith. His sad eyes are locked onto the bomb's holographic countdown display. 'Come on, Old Boy,' says the Titan.


'It's pretty,' says the wraith, his head glowing softly, like the promise of shelter on a stormy night. 'I might stay.'


'We don't have time,' says the Titan.


'My point,' says the wraith, his sad eyes never wavering from the relentless display. 'We don't have the time. Not any more. We use time, to help people, in exchange for a bit of psychic energy. You, me, even her. Wherever she is. Always looks after herself, that one.'


'It's her nature,' says the Titan. 'Can we talk about it later?'


'I failed. I'm no good. Might as well, you know? You go.'


The Titan sighs. 'Without you, I'll never find her, and without us, she'll never survive. You know that.' He holds out his mighty hand.


And the hypnotic holographic nuclear countdown dances on.






High on craggy cliffs hard by the seething Sea of Reverie, burning against a roaring hurricane of death-black nightmares, where once stood the Fortress of Consequence, a star arises. It is not a very old star, as these things go, but certainly looks it. It shines bigger and brighter and hotter in fractions of seconds and is ragged and ugly.


It punches out in every direction, atomic physics in a world made of thought, a bubble of rage spewing dread in its wake. The psionic boom rips into the hurricane of nightmares and tears it to shreds, smashes the Sea of Reverie into a trembling millpond beneath its Justice Department enhanced fury.


The star suddenly fades, its energy spent in a single act of brute destruction, and eventually fizzles out with a few unimpressive pops and sparks. But the tranquillity remains, the sea is calm, the breeze is soft and the sky is blue.


For a time.








'Anderson to Dredd,' the voice cuts into Judge Dredd's helm-comm.


'Kinda' busy here, Anderson,' says Dredd, leading a squad against the entrenched gang of zizz-crazed and heavily armed Steve Austin Development Snowman Appreciation Club members.


'Quick update on your little, er, diplomatic exploit, I hear that's what we're calling it?'


'Just get on with it, Judge Anderson. Bartelli! Left!'


'Incursions down sixty two per cent in the last forty eight hours,' Anderson's voice says. 'Looks like it worked.'


'Sixty two per cent worked,' grunts Dredd.


'Not all incursions come from the same place,' Anderson says, 'this is a win, Joe. Take it.'


Dredd grunts and Anderson listens to the sound of a door being kicked in, shouting and gunfire. 'One more thing, that nuke had a weird effect. For a full twenty four hours, not one human on Earth suffered from nightmares. Not one.'


'Swell,' says Dredd. 'Cooper, break right! Maybank, with me!'


'The fist night in recorded history, probably all history, when the entire human race had a peaceful night's sleep. They're calling it the Dreddy Bye Effect...'


'Like I said, swell,' says Dredd, his breath and motion growling at the transmission, 'but if there's nothing else, just tell me how to get that last thirty eight percent and copy me a report.


'Dredd out.'




Enough loose ends to maybe justify a sequel next year, methinks! I hope you enjoyed my humble tale and I sincerely wish each and every one of us a very merry Christmas and a New Year bursting with potential and joy.


I love you all.


Sharky (Legendary)
A Shed Somewhere
Cloud Cuckoo Land
2019

Judge Dredd: Chrysalids story and art by me.
(https://www.pauljholden.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/dredd-chrysalids_001-1.png)
(https://www.pauljholden.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/dredd-chrysalids_002.png)
(https://www.pauljholden.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/dredd-chrysalids_003.png)
(https://www.pauljholden.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/dredd-chrysalids_004.png)
(https://www.pauljholden.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/dredd-chrysalids_005.png)
(https://www.pauljholden.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/dredd-chrysalids_006.png)

Quote from: Funt Solo on 18 December, 2019, 01:46:55 AM
But what about that festive slump, where for five gloomy years (1997-2001) there was no cover-mounted celebration of the shared delight that is the season of gifts? It would be easy to blame Bish-Op and, latterly, the entire nation of New Zealand: so let's do that. They're on the other side of the planet, anyway: what can they do? We can all whole-heartedly agree that The Hobbit trilogy clearly cements the case that they're a country of united Chrimbo-haters.

Bah humbug.

It was the time-traveling Bishop, in the library, with the candlestick.