Django Zoon: The Straightener

Jobo Pooks · 19 November, 2008, 11:55:52 AM

Hello all.

I have a completed novel entitled Django Zoon: The Straightener. Here are 2 links. One is to my webpage and the other to my page on a site called Authonomy.

Django Zoon. The Straightener

Django Zoon. Main site

One of the members on Authonomy suggested I could do well trying to get published via 2000AD. So I thought I would come here to test the water so to speak.

Jobo Pooks · 13 December, 2008, 09:02:49 PM

Authonomy membership and link are no longer active. Please ignore top link. Sample chapters are on main website here:

http://ricklennie.www.idnet.com/JOBO_PO ... ozoon1.htm

House of Usher · 14 December, 2008, 01:46:38 PM

Django Zoon the what-ener???

Bouwel · 14 December, 2008, 04:47:49 PM

He straightens things. Rather like and inverse Bender from Futurama.

-Bouwel-
(Who is just joshing!)

I, Cosh · 14 December, 2008, 05:23:39 PM

Quote from: "Jobo Pooks"One of the members on Authonomy suggested I could do well trying to get published via 2000AD. So I thought I would come here to test the water so to speak.

Are either of you aware that 2000AD is a comic?

If you're under 16 then fair play to you. Keep at it and maybe you'll get somewhere in the end.

If not, then you'd be lucky to get a tenner from Razzle for Readers Wives crap like this:

QuoteFalling into her arms, he sunk his bursting manhood deep inside her bulging split, with every thrust relieving the pain in his rock hard rod and replacing it with the most intense pleasure ever experienced. Never had he felt a woman so hot inside and with so strong a grip. She raged at his pumping and cursed in tongues never heard before. As they climaxed together, he hugged her tightly; draining the last drop from his thumping tool then fell silent as they bathed in the warmth of the afterglow.

TordelBack · 14 December, 2008, 05:35:18 PM

Awesome. I always felt there must be more to sex than the grown-ups were letting on - my science teacher must have kept all the good stuff secret. How come my wife doesn't come with a "bulging split"? I feel cheated. I'm also sure I used to have a thumping tool, but I must have lent it to someone.

House of Usher · 14 December, 2008, 08:07:12 PM

Jesus! Everyone's a bloody writer these days. I feel left out; it looks so easy! I've clearly wasted my life spending 11 of the past 18 years at university and the other 7 scratching a living. I should've just got my head down at the keyboard and started churning out manuscripts a decade and a half ago.

P.S. welcome to the message board, Jobo pooks.

Peter Wolf · 14 December, 2008, 08:37:13 PM

Quote"Falling into her arms, he sunk his bursting manhood deep inside her bulging split, with every thrust relieving the pain in his rock hard rod and replacing it with the most intense pleasure ever experienced. Never had he felt a woman so hot inside and with so strong a grip. She raged at his pumping and cursed in tongues never heard before. As they climaxed together, he hugged her tightly; draining the last drop from his thumping tool then fell silent as they bathed in the warmth of the afterglow."

"Yet again his partner was disappointed and as she lay there she sighed and thought to herself "Its always the same ..5 minutes of aggressive sex and then he is out cold and each time i have to fake it...I cant go on like this...".

Djangcomesozoon : The Ejaculator.

Roger Godpleton · 14 December, 2008, 09:04:10 PM

Sci-fi spam is still SSSSPPPPAAAAMMMM.

TordelBack · 14 December, 2008, 09:30:06 PM

How can it be spam when it's the most intense pleasure I for one have ever experienced?

Roger Godpleton · 14 December, 2008, 10:37:11 PM

The meat product spam is delicious.

satchmo · 16 December, 2008, 08:29:55 PM

This thread is awesome.

paulvonscott · 16 December, 2008, 10:03:39 PM

Well done Jobo, despite some initial reservations, you've won us over with your earthy charm.

I suggest you submit Django Zoon to http://www.abaddonbooks.com, which is owned by Rebellion, who print 2000AD. It sounds like their sort of thing.

Roger Godpleton · 16 December, 2008, 11:03:20 PM

Jobo, I've just received word that there is a fire in your area. If you hurry, you may still be able to die in it.

House of Usher · 16 December, 2008, 11:31:10 PM

Quote from: "Godpleton"Jobo, I've just received word that there is a fire in your area. If you hurry, you may still be able to die in it.

Ahh, now that's just not nice. And besides, you know you really shouldn't because he'll only come back with "I know you are, but what am I?", and it'll just rumble on, back and forth, getting nastier. If I were interested in perpetuating a slanging match, which I'm not, I'd have made some comment to the effect that we're all now privy to the answer to the question "what if Jim Davidson wrote sci-fi?"; but I'm learning to show more restraint.

I agree with Paul, he should send it to Abaddon. You don't get published without approaching publishers.