The Black Dog Thread

[Tjm86]

cheers pal.

[JayzusB.Christ]

Strength and love to you, Tjm. Don't feel too lonely in your difficulties, silence doesn't necessarily mean all is well. That can be the worst part, sometimes, imagining that everyone else is okay and it's only me in this damnable black fog. I'm not suggesting that other people being in a similar place should cheer you up, of course, but that plenty of us know and understand.

And never, ever apologise for being down - certainly not on this thread.

What the Shark said

[Tjm86]

My wife pointed out something that I hadn't realised, the timing of the anxiety increase.  As bad as it has been this year, the last few weeks have been an order of magnitude greater than I have experienced in a long time.  Up to and including full blown anxiety attacks that have come out of the blue for no discernible reason.  Except it appears that there may be a reason; the new medication and the dosage increase.  Going with an adjustment back down reduced the effect and left things manageable.  The anxiety is still there but at a far lower level.  Superb!

On the plus side at least now I've some idea of why I went so completely off the rails.  Just wish I'd twigged sooner.  Granted there is an underlying reason for the anxiety but not at the levels I was experiencing.  So, back to the docs again.

[The Legendary Shark]

The Real Causes Of Depression Have Been Discovered, And They’re Not What You Think.

[Tjm86]

At the risk of sounding glib in response to the author of this article; no s*** Sherlock!

Or perhaps it's just the case that if you've spent the best part of thirty odd years dealing with that then it just seems obvious.

[The Legendary Shark]

I agree. Obvious to sufferers but maybe not so much to partners, doctors and the wider public - many of whom still believe in the "broken brain" myth.

[Tjm86]

Or in the case of a hell of a lot of employers, the 'just bloody awkward' myth.  In regards to partners, I must have been particularly blessed in that regard.  I don't know that I'd still be here if it wasn't for my wife. 


As an aside:  Never, ever, ever, ever, ever disclose to your line manager that you have a mental health problem.

[DrJomster]

Hang on in there, good people. It will get better.

[Eric Plumrose]

The Real Causes Of Depression Have Been Discovered, And They’re Not What You Think.

Ah, damn. The author uses the 'c' word.

[Tjm86]

I know it's been a while since this thread has seen any traffic and it seems like I'm the most frequent flier here.  Regrettably my condition seems to be putting the boot in my working life.  A meeting with OH ended with a single refrain; 'have you considered resignation?'  Yes, I have.  Thanks for the vote of encouragement.

All I can say is, I am so glad that so many fellow travellers on this thread have been absent for so long.  Hope that is an indicator of how well things are going.

[The Legendary Shark]

Don't listen to them. You are a being of infinite worth and potential and I for one feel privileged to share this community with you.

Strength and love to you, Sir, strength and love.

[Theblazeuk]

Well don't think you're the only one at all Tjm! I'm fluctuating wildly between thinking I can get things back on track and utterly despairing it of it all. A pattern closely tied to my wife's health in both mental and physical terms.

At the moment work is still an escape of sorts for me, though it's hard to muster up the will to carry on 70% of the time. Anyway - just so you know you're not alone, whether it's in terms of moral support or just other people flying the darker skies.

[Bolt-01]

Tjm86-

Don't let other people tell you what you should do. I don't know you, or your situation, but don't let yourself be isolated. Communication is key- even if it is just wittering on here about comics. Communication is the key.

[TordelBack]

Bolt is spot on.  Talk, talk, talk.  It's when this dark shit echoes and rebounds in your own skull that it amplifies to unbearable levels: let it out into the light and air where it can fuck off.

Equally importantly Tjm, it's never just you.  Been feeling the nip of many sharp canines at the cuffs of my trousers this past while too, but have been managing to keep it at that irritating but still-functional level, hence I haven't been making use of this thread lately (prefering to rant on about Star Wars, and rebut bigots on social media as a release valve).  Although I have come as close as drafting and deleting posts more than once. Reasoning: we're not there yet, and maybe never again.

[Tjm86]

Thanks folks.  Blaze, here's to hoping for a positive resolution for you and your wife.