Writing To Tharg

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

I love this thread. I cannot be the only one who writes not to be in the comic, but to be on this thread

[Grant Goggans]

Well, that's a pleasant surprise.  I'm down with a horrible cold today, and this was a nice thing to find.  But I just counted, and the six that got printed came from sixteen letters sent.  And my son, poor guy, sent five letters with no success at all.  So maybe it's possible Tharg's got your points system in place already!http://pics.livejournal.com/hipsterdad/pic/0010k70d">

[Buttonman]

http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c118/button71/LETTERSLOGOblue2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">

Well ding-a-ding-dong Happy 2008. OK we accept that we are a bit urgent in offering our salutations but sadly our editorial team has to desert these sunny shores to embark on a fact finding jaunt to New York. The main fact we are checking is the one regarding the maximum alcohol capacity of a 36 year old with a fixation on letters and Lulu. We also mean to investigate the American letter writing culture that dominated our fair pages in 2007. Weâ??ve also heard that there is a guy called â??Lettermanâ?? there and trust he will happily engage in hours of 2000ad missive based banter.

After last yearâ??s green shoots of recovery we aim to make 2008 the best letters year on record and to this end we have secured a massive £1000 in sponsorship. Sadly £950 of this has been spunked away on the NYC jaunt but that still leaves a mighty £50 up for grabs. We might even chuck in some fridge magnets too, but only if the hotdog man is giving them away for free.

To prevent a repeat of last yearâ??s shameful ballot stuffing a new points system is being introduced that will reward the real achievements and highlight the hangers on. The points system is as follows

Letter of the Week                                            : 5 Points
Standard Letter                                                 : 3 Points
Drawing/Photo/Computer Art etc.                    : 4 Points
Letter Published as Part of Non-Input Feature : 2 Points
Name Checked                                                  : 1 Point
Ro-Jaws Laugh-In Joke Published                    : 2 Points
Reader Profile Published                                  : 2 Points
Hidden Toilet Reference Published                  : 5 Bonus Points
KTT Awarded                                                   : 6 Bonus Points

Only the highest points won are added  except for bonus points which are granted in addition to the standard award. So if you get Letter of the week and make a toilet reference you get 10 points. If you only get a standard letter you get 3 points so donâ??t go moaning that you should get an extra one for the name check. Toilet references have to be in general usage and not simply vague mentions of brown, mud or Paolo Nutini. Claims should be made on this thread with contentious issues resolved using the three brown ball method as previously employed.

The Prizes are:

Most Points in Megazine   £10
Most Points in 2000ad              Â£10
Most Points Over Both             £20
Best Letter of Year                    Â£10

Multiple prizes can be won and it is possible for one scribbler to take home the whole $103, sorry 50 quid.

â??Letter of the Yearâ?? is in the gift of the Editors, but suggestions would be gratefully received. The winner will be insightful, funny or controversial or preferably all 3. In the event of a tie in any category the most Letters of the Week will determine the winner. If still tied an e-mail game, via this office, of Rock, Paper, Scissors will decide. All decisions are final and non-negotiable. Prizes have to be claimed on this thread as we donâ??t want the wealth going to non-readers - screw them and the horse they rode in on. In the event of Buttonman snuffing it or being incapacitated, or if either or both comics fold then you can all bugger off. Cash value of prizes 0.00001p; not valid where prohibited by law. Itâ??s Chinatown, Jake. Correspondence may be entered into but only if youâ??re a foxy chick.

MEGAZINE  No. 266

Right to the first business of the year which sees the Megazine Dreddlines page kick the year off with a bit of a face lift. Whilst we have moaned in the past of letters being hard to read when printed on a coloured background, this new white page is a bit bland and anonymous. The answer? Put them all in boxes, a bit like the fast facts the Sun puts in itâ??s â??Sun Spotâ?? page fillers. Despite a profusion of questions the management decided only one was worth answering and that was done with a Forrest Gump quote! Stupid is as stupid does indeed!

It seems that our 2007 year review (Page 15 on this thread, well worth a look) was taken to heart by the management, perhaps a bit too close. All the Yankee tea-chuckers have been exiled but so has everyone else apart from the English . 4 from 4 including one from Oxford the home of Dreddlines - câ??mon fellas thereâ??s good old discrimination and out and out xenophobia!

First of the year is Gary â??OJâ?? Simpson who celebrates his 5th offering today. This is his first Megazine outing and he was last seen in the pages of Prog 1545 in 2007.

Gary gives a good heartfelt tribute to the art of John Hicklenton, but his assertion that it should be published as it will be  unpopular seems the wrong side of metal. His conclusion that heâ??ll read anything John draws compounds his mania - you look at drawings, but read stories. Tell your orderly to tighten up the restraints!

Local lad Brian Denninger is up next and we wonder if heâ??s the tea boy in the Dreddlines office. Heâ??s also a fan of  Satanus but goes onto suggest that the generally accepted weak run for the Megazine has been â??truly greatâ??. The only truly great thing in this letter is the scale of sucking up! Brian is a long term reader and this is his second letter published in the Megazine. He was last seen in the dark days on Meg 167 (Vol 3 No 64) so maybe his comments are fair if heâ??s only got that one to compare it with.

Tom Davies makes his debut next and ends the Davies famine that stretches back to James in Prog 1267. It could be worse, the Davis clan havenâ??t been seen since Anthony scored a memorable double in 1993 in Progs 834 and 843. Tom is a small press fan but then goes on to moan about it. He does get some credit for a nice throwing up sequence but overall itâ??s poorly argued and dull stuff. The Megâ??s answer is shockingly dated and plainly a brush off. Quality control? Nah, someone will like it.

We round off with Mark Hunter who is no doubt still giddy after securing 18th spot in the 2007 table of letters with his score of  2. Heâ??s half way there already and is clearly one to watch. His common name is sprinkled across the letters beast so itâ??s hard to know which are his. We grant him all 3 of the â??Warringtonâ?? entries and heâ??ll have to provide evidence if he wants credit for the Durham, Oxford and e-mail ones.

His letter here could have done with some rampant editing as it meanders on for one and a third columns. He doesnâ??t say much of interest and itâ??s really just a flick through of the Meg as he sees it. Itâ??s a shame his Bolland question goes unanswered (bet itâ??s â??NOâ??) and at least heâ??s brave enough to describe the recent poor run as â??fallowâ?? - means shit doesnâ??t it?

So with the year underway and the carrots dangled we hope for a writing frenzy unseen since the Blue Peter â??Write a script for Grange Hillâ?? contest. Itâ??s a good start  with 100% of publications in 2008 sporting letters pages - how long can it last?

[Hoagy]

I think this is the appropriate spread.

In Cosmic 20008, letters an aussie is long time reader yadda etc;

He writes in hoping John Smith will write more stories, as John's worlds "don't just reflect 2007"

Imagine the betrayel in his face when Tharg neglects to tell him that 'Dead Eyes' will be set in some alternate present!

[Dounreay]

Huzzah to Buttonman for the most entertaining thread of '07 and for keeping the letters page alive, without which there would be no lettersentertainyou thread and you would now be staring at a blank white space.

In the season of good will to all, any big talk earlier on this here thread about not lasting the pace is forgotten as is favouritism in the scoring that would make an Estonian Euro-vision jury panel blush.

Remember, the pen is mightier than the sword.

Unless you are in a sword fight.

Or getting attacked by zombies.

In which case, if all you have is a pen then you are royally f***ked my friend.  

[Hoagy]

"Not sure if you got one in Krombasher or whether you are just happy that others didn't. Full letter details on the 'Writing to Tharg 2008' thread in 'Suggestions. "

How do. I'm here to hexplain myself.

Forgive if I am a little reclined, busy night, last night.

pwoo.

I'm saying 'Hurrah' at the chace to see fresh opinions. In fact the SHOPPING FUTURES letter is a stand out example of how I feel.

Fresh faces can mean fresh readers . Am I the only one who frets about buying my fave read in irrational fear of going  to the shop one day and its no longer in production?


Well I know there is a competion on and good luck to all.

I have to ask if new, writers fresh blood, as it were are allowed to join in?  

Or is this an online deal;?

[Hoagy]

"Not sure if you got one in Krombasher or whether you are just happy that others didn't. Full letter details on the 'Writing to Tharg 2008' thread in 'Suggestions. "

How do. I'm here to hexplain myself.

Forgive if I am a little reclined, busy night, last night.

pwoo.

I'm saying 'Hurrah' at the chace to see fresh opinions. In fact the SHOPPING FUTURES letter is a stand out example of how I feel.

Fresh faces can mean fresh readers . Am I the only one who frets about buying my fave read in irrational fear of going  to the shop one day and its no longer in production?


Well I know there is a competition on and good luck to all.

I have to ask if new, writers fresh blood, as it were are allowed to join in?  

Or is this an online deal;?

[Hoagy]

Oh.. It it appears I have dropped a seriously big bollock.

Sorry!

Is there anyway we can get the NEW thread running? Button?

Wake?

[Buttonman]

Hi Krom, a new thread has been started for 2008 - find it under 'competitions' or by following the link below.

All of course can enter with the boarders having the advantage of knowing the contest actually exists!

http://www.2000adonline.com/?zone=fan&page=messagethread&choice=21568&Replies=18

Link: http://www.2000adonline.com/?zone=fan&page=messagethread&choice=21568&Replies=18" target="_blank">Letters 2008

[Proudhuff]

Well?

[Trout]

I am, thank you. Are you?

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

This is the equivalent of meeting an old friend after six years and greeting him with the words "you owe me a pint"

[Proudhuff]

This is the equivalent of meeting an old friend after six years and greeting him with the words "you owe me a pint"

Unlike The 'Tenner' Cosh...