Inevitable "crap music" thread

[Professor Bear]

I try not to listen to the radio anymore because hearing modern pop music makes my brain angry at those responsible, but exposure is sadly inevitable: when I visit the gym and don't have my headphones in, when I'm out shopping in places where there's a radio going or that has a music channel on - it's unavoidable, so I'm going to bitch about it here when it happens rather than just putting the relevant names on the list I keep in my pocket of people I'm going to kill with a tank if I ever get diagnosed with a terminal illness. 
I throw the floor open to hear your thoughts on that racket the kids call "the charts", maybe you can even clear up something I don't want to Google: that Jessie J is a drag act, yeah?

[Frank]

that Jessie J is a drag act, yeah?

If you mean that she's a crude copy of something, that looks similar enough from a distance to fool some people, but when you examine it turns out to be entirely bereft of the thing you imagined might prove interesting, then yes.

I've mentioned it before, but the awful result of country acts party crashing dance music (and vice versa) makes me despair. Ke$ha and Pitbull are preparing the way for Miley Cyrus's ascendancy in the same way as Sigourney Weaver's lock keeper fucking Rick Moranis's key master opened the door for Gozer in Ghostbusters.

[radiator]

'Don't You Worry Child' by Swedish House Mafia crystallises everything I hate about rock music (dreary and awful Nickelback-alike vocals) with everything I hate about dance music (weak, dated and cheesy House production) in one song.

Anything to do with Black Eyed Peas. Anyone over toddler-age who listens to their music should be ashamed of themselves.

Rihanna must have one of the least pleasant, most grating singing voices I've ever heard.

[Frank]

I actually quite like this tune, but Keisza can't really sing (same shrill nasal quality as Cilla Black) and the video is just Bittersweet Symphony with jazz hands.

[shaolin_monkey]

First of all, this:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k6Lb3kFwJRQ

Secondly, do you remember as a kid when you used to swivel the volume knob on the record player back and forth quickly, 'cos you enjoyed the novelty of the sound of your favourite single increasing and decreasing, plus it annoyed your dad? Remember how quickly the novelty wore off?

I have to endure the radio in work, and currently there is a track out whereby someone turning the volume up and down quickly over a sample appears to be the main feature. It is driving me fucking BATSHIT INSANE!!!!!

I know it is the prerogative of the middle-aged to despise the music currently enjoyed by the youngsters, but SERIOUSLY??? How the fuck is that music?!?

[radiator]

Ugh, I think I'd launch myself out of the nearest window if I had to endure pop radio all day every day. Just the repetition alone is unbearable. I used to work in an office where we had a compromise of one day of 6 Music, then one day of Radio 1, and I still bristle whenever I hear certain songs from around 2006/7 that were burned into my brain as a result.

[Fungus]

Youngsters eat dirt and relatively few of them are High Court judges.

[NapalmKev]

Anyone remember this?

http://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=ZyhrYis509A

Truly Crap!

I would also like to nominate all of Skrillex's solo output!

Cheers

[I, Cosh]

Secondly, do you remember as a kid when you used to swivel the volume knob on the record player back and forth quickly, 'cos you enjoyed the novelty of the sound of your favourite single increasing and decreasing, plus it annoyed your dad? Remember how quickly the novelty wore off?

Nope.

Next you'll be claiming that electric guitars sound better if you learn some chords like a chin-stroking jazzo rather than just turning all the nobs up to eleven and messing around with the feedback.

[TordelBack]

A bunch of scaffolding pot-bellies passing lewd judgements on the schoolgirls passing below, that's what you're like:  it's not meant for you.

But no, if what passes for contemporary popular music doth offend my ears, then so does much of the sludge that pours forth from the missus' favourite 80's radio station.  I think most of the 'acts' (for that is what they are) that lurk in the TV stations out beyond the kids' channels are perfectly capable of delivering the odd decent singalong tune: even Miley Cyrus.  But in the absence of any real creative process or winnowing, there's nothing of substance.

The state of that.

[shaolin_monkey]

Secondly, do you remember as a kid when you used to swivel the volume knob on the record player back and forth quickly, 'cos you enjoyed the novelty of the sound of your favourite single increasing and decreasing, plus it annoyed your dad? Remember how quickly the novelty wore off?

Nope.

Next you'll be claiming that electric guitars sound better if you learn some chords like a chin-stroking jazzo rather than just turning all the nobs up to eleven and messing around with the feedback.

I was at a gig in Cardiff EXACTLY LIKE THAT last weekend.  Apart from the headline act (Witches Drum, bloody amazing stuff!) the other 'acts' hurt my fucking brain, so I stood outside with my compadres for most of it.

[Recrewt]

Yeah, I'm also of that age where I start to wonder about some of the music that the 'kids' listen to nowadays but TB hit it on the head - it's not really aimed at me and any complaining just makes you sound like a miserable old bugger! 

Pop music nowadays is really no better or worse than it has been in the past, the majority of pop music is always dross interspersed with the odd gem.

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Tordelback is king.

One of the biggest selling singles of the swinging psychedelic 60s? Ken Dodd

[Mister Pops]

I stopped listening to the radio once I was old enough to figure out that's where the horrible noise was coming from

[Radbacker]

i suddenly realised how old I was when I heard that Dub step stuff and thought what the f&*k is this sh&t you cant call trhat music.  Bam suddenly I was my father

CU Radbacker