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Y'know what really grinds my gears?

Started by Link Prime, 12 April, 2014, 01:47:44 PM

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radiator

Tipping.

No problem with it in the UK (despite inwardly sympathising to a certain extent with Mr Pink from Reservoir Dogs) - it's 10% or slightly more in restaurants, plus entirely optional rounding up/'keep the change' to cabbies, hairdressers and food delivery guys. Tips are for service - if someone's rude or unhelpful, they get less or none at all. Counter-service staff and barmen generally don't get any tips because they're not waiting on you personally and it's a less demanding job than the above.

In the US it's a total bloody nightmare, fraught with potential for awkwardness, especially with uptight Brits like me. I feel like I have to tip everyone, or risk everyone thinking a complete tightwad. For example I don't tip the staff in my local coffee shop as I pick up my coffee each morning, but am beginning to feel pressure that I should because the receipt to sign has a tip line on it. And what about the guy who installs cable? Furniture deliverymen? Cleaners? The people that pump your gas for you (mandatory in Oregon). Do cabbies expect 20%? Will they be offended if the fare is $8.50 and I pay ten and say keep the change? Where does it all end?!?!?!

It's way out of hand. Can't we all just force companies to pay staff more and do away with all but 100% optional tips awarded for above and beyond service levels?

JamesC

Quote from: radiator on 23 April, 2014, 08:31:04 PM
Tipping.

No problem with it in the UK (despite inwardly sympathising to a certain extent with Mr Pink from Reservoir Dogs) - it's 10% or slightly more in restaurants, plus entirely optional rounding up/'keep the change' to cabbies, hairdressers and food delivery guys. Tips are for service - if someone's rude or unhelpful, they get less or none at all. Counter-service staff and barmen generally don't get any tips because they're not waiting on you personally and it's a less demanding job than the above.

In the US it's a total bloody nightmare, fraught with potential for awkwardness, especially with uptight Brits like me. I feel like I have to tip everyone, or risk everyone thinking a complete tightwad. For example I don't tip the staff in my local coffee shop as I pick up my coffee each morning, but am beginning to feel pressure that I should because the receipt to sign has a tip line on it. And what about the guy who installs cable? Furniture deliverymen? Cleaners? The people that pump your gas for you (mandatory in Oregon). Do cabbies expect 20%? Will they be offended if the fare is $8.50 and I pay ten and say keep the change? Where does it all end?!?!?!

It's way out of hand. Can't we all just force companies to pay staff more and do away with all but 100% optional tips awarded for above and beyond service levels?

It seems to me that tipping is supposed to be a reflection of how 'you' feel about 'them' but your anxiety stems from worrying about how 'they' feel about 'you'.
I say tip as you please. If you were doing their job for their wage in the way they're doing it would you deserve to be tipped? If so then go ahead.

oshii

Starting to reverse into what appears to be the only free parking space in the entire carpark, and then discovering it actually has a Smart car or Fiat 500 in it that you couldn't see.

Frank

Quote from: JamesC on 23 April, 2014, 10:02:40 PM
If you were doing their job for their wage in the way they're doing it would you deserve to be tipped? If so then go ahead

It's not as clear cut as that. As radiator alludes to, tips aren't a nice bonus for US bar or diner staff as they are in the UK - they're often the only money someone receives for working their job. Even if your waitress forgets to smile when she asks you if you want a refill, I'm not sure her kids deserve to starve as punishment.


radiator

That's just it - in the UK that attitude is fair enough James, and is roughly what I outlined, but over here it's different. I get the impression that the whole tipping culture just gets more and more widespread as time goes by, to the point where it seems a lot of people think it's gotten a bit out of hand. Feeling social pressure to tip for a takeaway coffee just seems totally crazy to me, and it's not as if drivers, cabbies and cable installation guys earn below minimum wage, is it?

And while we're on the subject, those guys that lurk in the toilets of clubs - and sometimes even bars and pubs - and guilt you into paying them for the privilege of using the toilet/dispersal of unwanted aftershave and lollies(?!?!?) are the absolute fucking worst.

The venue we hired for our leaving party saw fit to put one in the toilets there. At a private party! What is this bullshit? Do bar owners deliberately set out to make their paying customers feel uncomfortable or what?

JamesC

Quote from: sauchie on 23 April, 2014, 10:18:42 PM
Quote from: JamesC on 23 April, 2014, 10:02:40 PM
If you were doing their job for their wage in the way they're doing it would you deserve to be tipped? If so then go ahead

It's not as clear cut as that. As radiator alludes to, tips aren't a nice bonus for US bar or diner staff as they are in the UK - they're often the only money someone receives for working their job. Even if your waitress forgets to smile when she asks you if you want a refill, I'm not sure her kids deserve to starve as punishment.

Yeah, well, that grinds my gears. If someone owns a business they should pay the staff properly as a cost of running it.
I'm not sure I could survive in that system - it goes too much against the grain for me. I think I'd just avoid service altogether.

TordelBack

Tipping freaks me out too, I never know what to do, especially overseas.  That said, my old man is a tour guide (a below minimum wage job), and he's just back from visiting my brother and his grandchildren in Australia solely from the last two years' tips...

radiator

QuoteYeah, well, that grinds my gears. If someone owns a business they should pay the staff properly as a cost of running it.
I'm not sure I could survive in that system - it goes too much against the grain for me. I think I'd just avoid service altogether.

Don't come to America, then ;). Seriously, restaurants are everywhere, and supermarkets are horrendously expensive, especially in big cities - even in the local Tesco/Sainsburys equivalents - so that cooking a meal for yourself seems to work out only slightly cheaper than dining out. It seems like it's more of the way of life here to have someone else cook for you, so tipping is unavoidable.

Link Prime

Quote from: radiator on 23 April, 2014, 08:31:04 PM
Tipping.

No problem with it in the UK (despite inwardly sympathising to a certain extent with Mr Pink from Reservoir Dogs)

Cough up a buck ya bum!

My lifetime exposure to the States has been limited to a week in New York, and even in that short timespan it was plainly obvious that tipping was out of control / hilarious depending on your mood.
Plus the fact it doesn't appear to be a social stigma to brazenly ask for a tip (or a bigger tip than what you'd given)!

Best one was the hotel janitor who actually asked me for 15 Dollars for 'minding our bags' while we went out for an hour for breakfast.
I gave him the change in my pocket (about $6.50) and a thin smile.

maryanddavid

The States is MENTAL when it comes to tipping, If someone looks at you they expect a tip and they are not shy about telling you they deserve a tip. At least in the bar's, the Barman is tipped, but he buys a round at some stage, so at least you don't feel totally fleeced. Different way of doing things I suppose, but it does take a bit of getting used to.

Trout

Quote from: radiator on 23 April, 2014, 11:26:56 PM
QuoteYeah, well, that grinds my gears. If someone owns a business they should pay the staff properly as a cost of running it.
I'm not sure I could survive in that system - it goes too much against the grain for me. I think I'd just avoid service altogether.

Don't come to America, then ;). Seriously, restaurants are everywhere, and supermarkets are horrendously expensive, especially in big cities - even in the local Tesco/Sainsburys equivalents - so that cooking a meal for yourself seems to work out only slightly cheaper than dining out. It seems like it's more of the way of life here to have someone else cook for you, so tipping is unavoidable.

Tipping's normal. You get used to it. But you should make the effort, or you do look like a tightwad.  :)

Frank

Quote from: Link Prime on 23 April, 2014, 11:44:00 PM
Best one was the hotel janitor who actually asked me for 15 Dollars for 'minding our bags' while we went out for an hour for breakfast

The first couple of series of Boardwalk Empire offer the most compelling explanation of US society, their economy, and political culture. Nothing happens unless everyone can skim a buck for themselves along the way, that system's administered by folks who do exactly the same themselves, and nobody sees anything wrong with that - they just want a piece of the action.

The part of the US retail experience which fucks with my head is sticker prices that exclude sales tax, so when you get to the till everything's a little more expensive than you thought. Mental.


TordelBack

Quote from: sauchie on 24 April, 2014, 07:03:03 AM
The part of the US retail experience which fucks with my head is sticker prices that exclude sales tax, so when you get to the till everything's a little more expensive than you thought. Mental.

That is truly crazy, and if you're travelling around even more so: just when you have one State's tax sorted out in your head, here's another one to remember.

I do love the Lisa and Marge exchange over the actual price of her $1 pink Chanel suit..

Colin Zeal

I agree with the complaint upthread about washroom attendants. Why should I feel obliged to hand over money every time I use the toilet just because someone has turned on a tap which I could easily do myself. I think I am aggrieved by these attendants as the memory of one in particular is so strong. He had all sorts of songs/rhymes as to why you should get some aftershave from him - "No Davidoff, go home and wank it off" and "No cologne, go home alone" being the ones that I can still remember.

Jim_Campbell

Quote from: radiator on 23 April, 2014, 11:26:56 PM
supermarkets are horrendously expensive, especially in big cities - even in the local Tesco/Sainsburys equivalents - so that cooking a meal for yourself seems to work out only slightly cheaper than dining out.

Well, 'cheaper' in the sense that the price on the menu looks reasonable, but excludes the real cost of labour, which you're expected to add on and pay yourself.* That, coupled with other people mentioning sales tax makes buying stuff in the States sound like a bit of a crap shoot, TBH!

Cheers

Jim

*I think I'd cook for myself on general principle.
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