what illogical things scared you when you were a kid?

[Conexus]

I'm not talking about logical things like spiders, the dark or that time you saw mummy playing with a plastic sausage*

No, i'm talking about the completely illogical, or at least, completely illogical to an adult's mind.

Me, I was scared of the Wimpy beefeater man (anyone remember him?) I think I must have 'met' him at some Wimpy restaraunt opening, and his grotesque unnaturalness must have feaked out my tiny liitle mind. I guess that wouldn't be so bad, but whenever we went to eat at Wimpy's (which was often, we were poor back then) The beefeater stood behind us, motionless and scaring the bejeebus out of me.Don't know why I never mentioned it to my parents- probably the even greater fear that my older brothers would laugh in my face :(







*I actually never wittnessed such an event, though I imagine it would be traumatic, it freaked me out finding an elcric dildo charging up when i went into my parent's bedroom for some sissors about half a year ago-even now knowing they get up to that kind of stuff- Ugghh  

[hag]

i was scared of the toilets of school. this was when i was about five or six. i think i saw the bit in the goonies when they mess up the pipes under the country club and was paranoid that'll happen to me. i once ran out to the loo so fast i didn't do my little girl trousers up and they kinda fell down infront of the class.

i don't know why i'm mentioning it, cos last time someone mentioned it to me i poured a pint over his head.

[Generally Contrary]

I didn't use to be scared of Doctor Who... except for the theme tune (I think it was the bit where the Doctor's face faded in and, did it (?) wink).

[Pete Wells]

The Monster Munch monsters on the adverts. How pathetic is that?

Pete.

[Queen Firey-Bou]

i was a fearful child;

the 'memories' i suffered from when trying to get to sleep, these started from before age 5, one where i was getting stabbed in the stomach & bundled into a boot of car,
one i was tied up in the dark in a ship, suffocating as a grown woman, i can taste the rank salt air now.  

the way the blackness would start to pulse around me at night & make me lurch & not able to breathe until it expanded bigger than the universe & crushed me with sickening size, before it started to shrink & my whole body would spin out of itself......
i still sleep with the light on.

those wierd thunder storms in the SW in 1976.

small spaces.

fire.

the rubber mask that they gassed you with to knock you out for tooth extraction & the way the faces warped & distorted.

so all in all, wearing full BA fire kit & crawling around small tunnels in burning buildings is quite an achievement. thankyou.

[James]

Jaysis Bou, are you fucked in the head?

Owls. More specifically some owl that presented some kids show or something circa 1975ish. I remember being carried upstairs over my dad's shoulder because the owl made me cry.

[House of Usher]

I was afraid of things that looked like something else in the dark. Like the cardboard box in top of the wardrobe that made it look like a giant robot.

Dressing gowns on coathooks that looked like scary monks. That one still gets me now and then.

Monsters under the bed.

The tunnel effect at the start of Doctor Who, but I got over it.

Skulls, like in Image of The Fendahl(Doctor Who) and in the montage in the titles of Scooby Doo.

Factories - quite irrational, that one. But I know why I was afraid of them. Firstly because we lived near factories and we were told not to go near them, which seemed strange to us because we couldn't think of any good reason why we would, and there was a 12-feet tall fence around the industrial estate. Secondly because I really believed I would one day have to go and work in one, and I thought they were knee-deep in soot on the inside, with klaxons sounding every 10 seconds.

[Max Kon]

Max feels pete's fear. Scary buggers.

[Mike Carroll]

Okay, now don't laugh...

Among the many posters I had on the wall as a little kid was one (taken from Look-In, I think) of Richard Anderson, who played Oscar Goldman in The Six Million Dollar Man.

One night I had some sort of weird waking nightmare in which I was convinced that Oscar was looking at me, and what's more, he was the devil. Scared the crap out of me, and for years afterwards I wasn't comfortable seeing Richard Anderson on the screen.

Mike C.

[Endjinn]

The worst nightmare I ever had featured a pig. My family was for some reason replaceed by that of the family from crap BBC sitcom, 2.4 Children, and for some reason my gran had a giant (approximately 3ft in every direction) satanic pig head instead of her own.

Everyone wanted to give my gran (with her glowing red pig-eyes) a hug, but I didn't want to, as I knew that she would spew this green gunk, which had the consistentcy of washing-up liquid, onto me and give me bubonic plague.

As I ran away from her, it became apparent that only I could see the pig-head, and only I knew it was her causing the plague that was slowly killing everyone. I ran through a hospital, and every bed had a sick soldier, for some reason dressed as if they were in the Napoleonic Wars, sick with her green gunk sickness.

Eventually I was cornered, and my 2.4 Children family were dragging me to hug my gran. To this day, pigs give me a slight shiver, but from the age of around 8 to 10 I was petrified of them.

[Byron Virgo]

That snot-puppet Gilbert that was voiced by Phil Cornwall that used to appear on kids tv on ITV.

Ted Rogers' robot chum Dusty Bin on 321 (sort of like a gurning, lobotomised silent satanic Metal Mickey. Who was a pedal bin). My great aunt used to have one in her bedroom, and we'd always get stuck in there playing Monopoly at some point, so I'd always have to stay on the other side of the room by the door in case it ever decided to suddenly come alive and lurch drunkenly towards me.

Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors - I genuinely had this irrational fear that he would eat my parents whilst I was in my bedroom.

Being burried alive - probably only heightened after a childhood interest in Edgar Allen Poe and watching the Dutch version of The Vanishing.

Tidal waves - though they were kind of cool too.

Triffids, after my dad told me that the giant rhubarb in Windsor Great Park were actually killer Triffids, shortly before hurling me into a big clump of them.

Barbers.

[SamuelAWilkinson]

Illogical things that scared me as a kid?


P & ~P


A joke for logic-types only, that one.

[Carlsborg Expert]

In principulurg HaHa

Link: http://www.geocities.com/ridiculousrhymes/fruitandveg.html?20052" target="_blank">http://www.geocities.com/ridiculousrhymes/fruitandveg.html?20052

[Pete Wells]

Quite on topic this one, I was scared of Hartley Hare too - Damn you John Smith!

Pete.

[Steve Green]

More a "still scares me..."

Cars, or more specifically driving them - the thought of freezing while at the control of a ton of  speeding metal doesn't fill me with happy thoughts.

I used to be a very nervy passenger,  but these days I always seem to fall asleep very easily in a car. Odd.

Or though having seen the way some people drive round here, maybe not so irrational.

Although I did have nightmares about nature being consumed by heavy machinery when I was a kid, so something like a printing press freaks me out a bit.

- Steve