What musical genre would he be into? IIRC between Phase III and Phase IV he dabbled with acid-house and baggy but how would he style himself now that he would be in his, what, late forties or early fifties? I have my own ideas but I'm curious to hear the speculation of others. :cool:
Given the way most bands from the '80s have gone, he'd be fat and wheeling out the old hits. He always struck me as more Shaun Ryder than Damon Albarn.
Prog 2001's Zenith.com posited him as some kind of Robbie Williams/Eminem hybrid, so after the inevitable breakdown/rehab/Swing album for the grans, he'd have become a judge on a talent show these days.
Interesting stuff so far. I envisaged him as a Tony Hadley of Spandau Ballet figure with a sharp suit, open collar with no tie and, of course, the mask; belting out reworkings of the hits along with some classic swing numbers or delving into the Great American Songbook.
I think the Simon Cowell analogy rings most true, but ideally there'd be some kind of parallel with his creator, as Morrison has often pointed out the similarities between his own interests and those of his creations, so Zenith could perhaps be hosting conventions named after himself where he's the guest of honor and from which regular people are barred in case they point out that he's not actually famous. Possibly in the intervening years between his last appearance and the new story he also took on an apprentice of some sort who is now much more successful, though Zenith remains adamant that he isn't jealous and that his apprentice's success is all Zenith's doing despite it only happening years after they went their separate ways, and even then only with material the apprentice came up with all by themselves. Also he seems to be involved in some kind of bizarre one-way feud with a retired musician no-one's ever heard of, occasionally pointing out that unlike this musician, he - Zenith - has never recorded songs about rape, though people on the internet point out that he's actually recorded songs about rape several times over the years - then someone prints a bunch of old quotes in a blog article on the web that suggests to casual observers that the feud may be entirely in Zenith's own head, which Zenith responds to with an itemised 7000 word rebuttal of every last detail and posts it at four in the morning on one of his mates' blogs, etc.
Although fair play, doing any of the above would just make Zenith seem a faintly ridiculous character.
Fair enough, but what music would he be into?
Quote from: Eightball on 23 April, 2014, 09:07:21 PM
Fair enough, but what music would he be into?
Ukelele-based covers of Katy Perry numbers.
High street pan pipes.
Quote from: Eightball on 23 April, 2014, 09:07:21 PM
Fair enough, but what music would he be into?
The same faux-earnest shit Take That shovel these days. The idea of pop music we and our parents grew up with is basically over, and music has reverted to what it always was - the village idiot/whore drawing attention to themselves by belting out a tune everyone already knows. That's why Zenith would be spending the judges' homes section of a TV talent show trying to help Welsh blowhard Tom Jones recapture his Sixties glory by shattering a glass held in his outstretched hand.
Quote from: sauchie on 23 April, 2014, 09:32:58 PM
Quote from: Eightball on 23 April, 2014, 09:07:21 PM
Fair enough, but what music would he be into?
The same faux-earnest shit Take That shovel these days. The idea of pop music we and our parents grew up with is basically over, and music has reverted to what it always was - the village idiot/whore drawing attention to themselves by belting out a tune everyone already knows. That's why Zenith would be spending the judges' homes section of a TV talent show trying to help Welsh blowhard Tom Jones recapture his Sixties glory by shattering a glass held in his outstretched hand.
Take That (reformed version) was another image that came to mind. Comfy slacks and a Christmas special on ITV2. I'm also starting to warm to this karaoke show judge idea. He would be on the American version as the token nasty Brit trying to out do all the other judges with his super-powered obnoxiousness.
After a trail of ill-advised investments too early (for the tech) or too late (for the bandwagon), like Zenith The 3D FPS, he reinvented himself as a TV presenter, only to go bankrupt and face allegations of harrassment from a number of young models.
This came to a head in early 2000s with the News of The World's lurid expose (Wham, Bam, Superman!) when a drunken Zenith accidentally left 17 year old wannabe-glamour model Wendee Mella (real name: Susan Blackport) atop Ben Nevis after "he took me to new heights, literally and physically, as we joined the mile-high club... al fresco".
After a few barren years, where he eked out a living through false sorrow and flagellation (on daytime TV) and drunken lads-laugh exposes (on late night TV), he rose again to public acceptance and is now best known for his role as a team captain on Antique Whip Round (BBC 1, 1.30) and Yes, Another Panel Show (C4, Fridays, 11pm).
There are rumours of an 80s revival but he claims "I can't be arsed getting in shape for that... and have you seen the fans? I mean, I know I've let myself go, but come on!"
I like to think that he's followed in Shane McGowan's footsteps — someone has made some VERY wise investments with the large amounts of money reaped from his early hits and he's now a demented alcoholic with no teeth shitting himself in the corner of a pub somewhere.
Cheers!
Jim
Quote from: Jim_Campbell on 23 April, 2014, 10:20:05 PM
I like to think that he's followed in Shane McGowan's footsteps — someone has made some VERY wise investments with the large amounts of money reaped from his early hits and he's now a demented alcoholic with no teeth shitting himself in the corner of a pub somewhere.
Cheers!
Jim
An aspiration, and inspiration, for us all.
The X-Factor judge is spot on. I always had the impression Zenith wasn't a very good musician. Though possibly he would go the Bob Geldoff route and replace the temporary nature of popular celebrity with 'philantropic' wealth. However I don't think he'd be convincing enough to do that properly, as everyone notes in phase III he is an obnoxious ****.
I think Zenith would probably be a 'David Bowie' type, constantly reinventing himself.
Or, maybe he'd be working for 'Disney'.
Cheers
QuoteThe X-Factor judge is spot on. I always had the impression Zenith wasn't a very good musician.
I'm pretty sure that Morrison said Zenith was very much the Rick Astley stylee of musician, so yeah, I think X-Factor, or doing the rounds of afternoon slots in small music festivals would seem right.
Being a superhuman in a world of 99.9% normals would still make him have some kind of nigh permanent celebrity status I suppose. Its not like Zenith's pop songs came in handy against the Lloigor.
Yet to go slightly back on topic, I see him as someone who would have never really changed after dipping his toes into 90s acid house stuff he'd fall back on his 'classics' and that would be pretty much it for his career. He would be a perennial feature of "I love the 90s" "I love the 80s".
Quote from: Richmond Clements on 24 April, 2014, 01:37:59 PM
QuoteThe X-Factor judge is spot on. I always had the impression Zenith wasn't a very good musician.
I'm pretty sure that Morrison said Zenith was very much the Rick Astley stylee of musician, so yeah, I think X-Factor, or doing the rounds of afternoon slots in small music festivals would seem right.
He may also have been drafted in as the British entry in Eurovision. We would probably still come second to last. :lol:
Quote from: Eightball on 24 April, 2014, 07:20:05 PM
He may also have been drafted in as the British entry in Eurovision. We would probably still come second to last. :lol:
Don't expect many points from the Lloigor jury.
Quote from: Fungus on 24 April, 2014, 07:26:16 PM
Quote from: Eightball on 24 April, 2014, 07:20:05 PM
He may also have been drafted in as the British entry in Eurovision. We would probably still come second to last
Don't expect many points from the Lloigor jury
The way all the Many-Angled Ones vote for each other is ruining the competition.
It's all too political these days. A superhuman would never stand a chance against the eastern European voting bloc. :thumbsdown:
Quote from: sauchie on 24 April, 2014, 07:30:44 PM
The way all the Many-Angled Ones vote for each other
...And themselves. Isn't that cheating?
Cheers!
Jim
Shirley he'd be supporting Morrissey on the American tour with Cliff and Sir Tom?