Judo's sci-fi writing

[Judo]

I know dudes I know - its everyone else that brings it up all the time x

[locustsofdeath!]

If anything, there's a serious movement by women in comics right now - more and more creators of the fairer sex are making big splashes in the industry.

And for crying out loud, if we need any proof of this - look no further than the fact that a woman is drawing Conan the Barbarian.

Your script was okay, Judo. I t has a very good idea, but I found the execution somewhat lacking. If you'd like constructive criticism, I'd be happy to lend you some. But then, I'm not anybody special so you may not care what I think. Brave sharing, in any case.

[Judo]

I don't care what any *specific* person has to say but I care very much what the *masses* have to say so yah would love to take some gun shot hits. Just be specific like 'i didnt like this pg?? panel??? line??? because of these reasons ?????? but I would try ?????'. because i find that easier to process than lots of rhetoric.

of course not everyone can agree on everything but i did start with a very long script and then hit DELETE about a million times everything that i didnt feel added to the plot, characterisation or mood of the piece (apart from the odd joke or geek reference for the boffs). The main character isnt too *strongly* characterised but this was on purpose to make him more *relateable* which hasnt yet been commented upon.

current criticisms...
my entire front page but yah not important
fonting/spacing - this was fixed in the print out
typos - some were fixed in the print out but i did misspell satelite, it just looks wrong like that lolol
ending - if it was *entirely clear* because some of my test readers had read the synopsis or heard me talking about it but the blind testers got it. but they were quite clever like emperor. also how much 'this is the apocolypse btw'-ness was under question.
the odd word of dialogue - and i mean 'word' singular as im a perfectionist.
the general four seasons thing - i wasnt too sure if it was cheesy or not but general ruling from others was that it was quite cute, quirky and showed passing of time clearest.

i cant remember if there were any others but those were the main things from memory x 

edit oh and yah the same thing for things you *do* like so i know whats working x

[Judo]

When I said *specific* the tone sounds wrong. I mean that I care equally about what people think regardless of who they are. When it comes to enjoying a good story there's no 'experts' x

[locustsofdeath!]

Judo, you sent me a PM - but have me blocked, so I can't reply!

[Judo]

oh yeah sorry i have everyone blocked but ive buddied you now or you can post here if your brave x

[Judo]

A local indie comic publishing company have asked about using the story in a magazine. Nothing concrete yet as they will need to find an artist to suit but good news all the same and I got a contribution credit in horror graphic novel X too which has now been released which was great fun to work on x

[Judo]

Is there anyone fair, honest and critical with a passion for sci-fi who wouldnt mind proof reading a net-runner future shock for me? x

[TordelBack]

Is there anyone fair, honest and critical with a passion for sci-fi who wouldnt mind proof reading a net-runner future shock for me? x

I can manage 2 out of 4, and I'd be happy to give it a look.

[darnmarr]

Ditto.

[Judo]

pm me your email address darnmar.

Thankyou all for offers to help some lovely people on this board.  I will send it to you in a couple of days as I want to re-write it and am quite busy.  One question though...

Fun and silly or dark and metaphorical?  X

[Judo]

Ok im entering final draft stretch so sorry to anyone that wanted to read it and saw this too late but next time i promise! x