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Protestants. Up to no good as usual.

Protestants have been shitting on the pavements?

the Sarlacc takes 1,000 years to kill someone,

Hmm, I always found that a bit silly anyway. Surely you'd die of dehydration or starvation first? Even if the pit satisfied those demands you'd die of old age first!

The dead fluids which trap the consciousness of Judge Death inside an ambulatory corpse are clearly derived from a compound found in the digestive juices of the Sarlacc.  And you have the cheek to call yourselves NERDS ...

You shouldn't spend long enough on the toilet to read much more than a Calvin & Hobbes three panel gag strip. Maybe one of the Sunday strips.

When a publisher is interested in acquiring a book manuscript, it usually offers the writer an advance against royalties, or advance for short. These payments come in all shapes and sizes, from $500 to millions of dollars, but the basic structure of an advance is the same industry wide.

An advance is a signing bonus that's negotiated and paid to the author before the book is published. It's paid against future royalty earnings, which means that for every dollar you receive in an advance, you must earn a dollar from book sales before you start receiving any additional royalty payments. After the publisher recoups your advance, it will begin to pay you royalties on subsequent sales based on the percentages outlined in the contract.

Advances are guaranteed (as long as you deliver what's expected of you according to your contract), so even if your book doesn't sell enough to earn back the advance, you don't have to return the balance to the publisher.

Also, advance payments are generally paid in anywhere from two to four equal instalments, often at significant milestones in the publishing process—when you sign the contract, when your complete manuscript is approved by the editor, when the book is published.

http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/how-book-advances-work-a-simple-explanation-for-writers

Sucks for a title to end mid-story. With the popularity of binge watching and box sets, you would think some writers and artists would experiment with the book industry/Netflix model of delivering a story when it's complete, rather than in instalments.

Ennis is likely to get a book of his own, isn't he? Probably Helter Skelter and the page difference made up with his run on Dredd.

I'd like to read helter skelter

Imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever.

Same here - widescreen CRT bought in 1999 still does everything asked of it. I'll upgrade when SMART TVs actually work and are £200 from ASDA.

No prizes for guessing the character name

Stone is a maleable medium, Steve

my daughter has just won first prize with her dog in a fancy dress competition at a dog show as princess leia and an ewok

Which ewok was your daughter dressed as, Grugz?

I've not read the Scottish UKIP manifesto, but have read the standard one. It's not as mental as I expected

No party's manifesto bears the slightest relation to what they'd actually do if given power.

Ever have a speech bubble fall off a page of vintage 2000AD artwork? Any recommendations on the type of adhesive that could be used to re-apply it?

Organic compounds are less likely to cause damage or discolouration. Simply pick, then stick, leaving out the traditional second stage of flick.

Trailer for Black Widow solo movie is here https://youtu.be/j_5KgpN38hM

I'm not sure why people are surprised it wasn't cut (or thought it would be), it was on after the watershed

Scenes are often trimmed or removed completely so the film is the right length to let the next show start on time. I thought the shot of Anderson getting on the bike at the very end was missing, but I was dozing on and off by that point.