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Attempts at the sample scripts

Started by Emperor, 19 January, 2010, 08:08:19 PM

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Steven Austin

Yeah really lovely pages. For the sake of offering something in the way of constructive criticism, on the first page you jump from one side of Dredd in the opening panel to the other side on the final panel - makes it jar a bit, check out the 180 Degree rule in film making, it applies to comics aswell. But as others have said that is essentially nit picking, drawing, inking, storytelling are all there, well done. :)

NicoAssirelli

I hadn't thought about it! Thank you Steven! It's great advice!  :)

Jim_Campbell

Quote from: NicoAssirelli on 26 October, 2016, 02:15:42 AM
I hadn't thought about it! Thank you Steven! It's great advice!  :)

It sort of is good advice. The problem is that individually both panels work better composed as they are, I think. The splash panel works better in its current composition with the reader's eye 'panning' as they read left to right from perp to Dredd, and the direction of Dredd firing naturally leading the reader out of the page in the bottom panel...
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JayzusB.Christ

#978
Nothing more to add than what's already been said - I really, really like it, and I've seen worse actually published in the prog.

Possibly the background to Dredd on the Lawmaster on page 3 could be a tad more futuristic?  It looks a bit like my local high street. 

But it's way better than I could do; and I'd be surprised if Tharg didn't take you on board.
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"

NicoAssirelli

Thank you Jim!!
I was trying to get the imaginary "zigzag" which could carry the eye through the page and I thought that action from left to right was more interesting in certain dynamic scenes.
But I hadn't thought of the 180 degree rule, which must be important in dialogue scenes!
So in this cases is ok to mediate between the options :)
Thank you Jayzus! You're right! I watched the 2012 dredd and I was blown away with the movie. And the vision of the megacity and the concept art of Jock, which seemed from a closer future, striked me a lot!
But in most of the scenes, looking at the pages now, I didn't get that sci-fi feel at all :-(

pauljholden

Quote from: NicoAssirelli on 26 October, 2016, 03:56:52 PM
Thank you Jim!!
I was trying to get the imaginary "zigzag" which could carry the eye through the page and I thought that action from left to right was more interesting in certain dynamic scenes.
But I hadn't thought of the 180 degree rule, which must be important in dialogue scenes!
So in this cases is ok to mediate between the options :)
Thank you Jayzus! You're right! I watched the 2012 dredd and I was blown away with the movie. And the vision of the megacity and the concept art of Jock, which seemed from a closer future, striked me a lot!
But in most of the scenes, looking at the pages now, I didn't get that sci-fi feel at all :-(

The 180 rule is important for keeping a reader aware of the geography of a scene - for dialogue you want ALWAYS to have the order of the speakers to run left to right - these two things can sometimes be mutually exclusive.

In my experience breaking the 180 rule is pretty acceptable if you're doing it at moment of explosive action, in fact it may even help the panel by suddenly running counter to what's gone before (like all rules; entirely made to be broken).

In this instance I'd be inclined to keep dredd facing this way - because having the reader follow his head to his gun to the gun fire and off the page - is a great natural story telling device to keep things moving. Flipping that would stop the moment on Dredd's face and have a different effect.

If I was tempted at all to futz around with the 180 rule here, I'd be inclined to flip the big panel - but only if I was going to be strict with the rule, purely because I think it would suffer less from the flip.

It's still a great set of samples and knocks socks off my first Dredd work.

-PJ

JayzusB.Christ

Anyone else notice a touch of Frazer Irving about Nico's artwork? Not a bad thing.  A very good thing in fact.

And it definitely does capture the movie version of MC1.  Probably needs to be a bit closer to the comic version, though, which is quite different.
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"

Colin YNWA

Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 26 October, 2016, 09:18:41 PM
Anyone else notice a touch of Frazer Irving about Nico's artwork? Not a bad thing.  A very good thing in fact.


Yeah defo. I avoided saying it as I often see others artists work which others don't see.So good to see in this case its not just me. Also defo no bad thing either.

NicoAssirelli

Wow, thank you Paul!! These tips are gold for me! Thank you, everyone! :)

Brian Corcoran

#984
Thought I'd post my entry for the 2000AD Art Competition at Thought Bubble this year.  Was lucky enough (and thrilled!) to get through to the final six.  The script was 'The Timeless Assassin' by Rory McConville.  I'd love any feedback/ criticism/ etc.

I love this thread, its great to see everyone's approaches to the scripts. TB was similar, it was a real eye-opener to see how everyone had handled the script. Such a huge variation in approach. Pity we only got to see page 01 of everyone's entry but I suppose time is always a hard taskmaster at these things.  I thought the other entries were great, Tilen Javornik's entry was a very worthy winner, clearly the best one. Big congratulations to him, looking forward to seeing his first story in the prog.

As an aside, Thought Bubble was brilliant, met loads of great people, including a lot of my art heroes, not to mention meeting Crazyfoxmachine and Bolt-01 of this very forum. Lovely lads!


Brian Corcoran

Aaaaaaaand the other pages...D'oh!






Darren Stephens

Lovely work, Brian. Especially like the last two pages. ;)
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mightybren

Nice to see the whole thing Brian! Thanks for sharing.

This is beautiful and impressive work, I love the facial expressions and characterisation.  Also the sense of detail is amazing, especially in the last two pages like Darren said.  How you've kept the figure work consistent and in perspective for chaotic scenes like that is amazing! I know that's hard to do.

Old Tankie

Beautiful detailed work there, could I ask how long it took to draw a page?

Brian Corcoran

Many thanks for the kind words guys, I really appreciate it. In answer to Old Tankie, I'd say on average maybe 2 days for pencilling and inking each page, however I'm not sure exactly as the comic was drawn in bursts of activity when I had time rather than straight through. Somewhere thereabouts though. The first panel on page 04 took a lonnnnng time!