Attempts at the sample scripts

[Emperor]

Thank you for the link to Simone Bianchi by the way. I loved his work on Astonishing X-Men with Warren Ellis. Sorry if mentioning spandex wearing superheros on the 2000 AD forum is a faux par.

Not at all, it is his work on AX-M and Thor that got me thinking about what you could do with more subtle grayscales that you can colour over. I even hassled Colin MacNeil about it, as he is one of the few droids (only?) who uses inkwashes, and he has experimented with colours over his inkwashes. It was the Cthulhu picture that made me wonder if something like that might work for you.

[allistermac]

I love the artwork of Colin MacNeil, a true master at his craft. I had the pleasure of meeting him and getting a Devlin Waugh sketch from him at DreddCon VI. I attended the portfolio session there with a few pictures I'd done in the preceding weeks, a couple of which are in my Devian Art gallery. I got some positive feedback, particularly for the Sinister Dexter picture you preferred, but they really wanted to see some sequential comic art. I've finally got round to producing some 7 years later.

I had been considering experimenting with ink washes after looking at the work of Adi Granov, another Artist I became aware of after his collaboration with Warren Ellis. He uses pencil, ink and gouache which is then coloured and results in a very painterly effect. I'm sure you are aware of his work but here's a link to his site: http://www.adigranov.net/artwork_cover.php

[allistermac]

Judge Dredd - Cycle Of Violence: Pages 4, 5 & 6.

I have attached the last 3 pages of my Cycle Of Violence submission as it stands. All the pages need some work. I'm not happy with the bottom cityscape on page 4. It needs to be a lot more intense futuristic and overwhelming. I also seem to have made one of the buildings resemble a corn on the cob, which is not ideal. I'm also going to add background detail to some of the panels on page 5 and 6 so that the characters are not floating in space.

If anyone has any further comments or suggestions I'd love to hear them.

[Jon]

I'm not happy with the bottom cityscape on page 4. It needs to be a lot more intense futuristic and overwhelming. I also seem to have made one of the buildings resemble a corn on the cob, which is not ideal.

I'm sure Freud would've had a field day with some of my attempts at the Meg over the years. It gets me how you never really notice til you've finished.

[Rorschachs_Journal]

Don't mention it Allister! Checked out your stuff on DeviantArt too. REALLY like your colouring on the Dredd image, it's got a really oldskool feel to it, which I love! Reminds me of the kind of art/colouring that was on show when I first got into 2000ad (around '94) !

Also, the Forbidden Thrills cover art is AWESOME!

Please keep us up to date with your work! I really like it and I'm looking forward to seeing your revised pages for the submission after all the good advice.

[terrapin]

Nice work Allister - lots of inspiring stuff on your deviant page! Inspired by the work of Simone Bianchi also with his inkwash pieces, so I thought id have a go using a sketch I did of Slaine entering warp spasm. I know this is a thread for sample attempts so ive added a link to it below, take a look

http://terrapin-man.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4zqc2p

[Emperor]

I love the artwork of Colin MacNeil, a true master at his craft. I had the pleasure of meeting him and getting a Devlin Waugh sketch from him at DreddCon VI. I attended the portfolio session there with a few pictures I'd done in the preceding weeks, a couple of which are in my Devian Art gallery. I got some positive feedback, particularly for the Sinister Dexter picture you preferred, but they really wanted to see some sequential comic art.

Yes that was one of the ones that caught my eye and is a style to pursue and experiment with. It can never hurt to develop your own style because it makes it easier for people to see a story and think you'd be ideal for it and if there are a lot of people working in a similar style then why would you get picked over all the others (it is one of the things 2000AD is great at - picking artists with unique, individual styles who might not get the push they might from other companies. Unfortunately, they also tend to get nicked by the Big Two - Jock, Frazer Irving, etc., etc.).

I've finally got round to producing some 7 years later.

Better late than never

I had been considering experimenting with ink washes after looking at the work of Adi Granov, another Artist I became aware of after his collaboration with Warren Ellis. He uses pencil, ink and gouache which is then coloured and results in a very painterly effect. I'm sure you are aware of his work but here's a link to his site: http://www.adigranov.net/artwork_cover.php

Yeah I definitely think it'd be worth looking at - you don't have to use actual ink, subtle grayscale should work well. Although I like the stylised Dredd head in the third panel of the last page, I suspect that shading linework is a bit much (although keep tinkering, especially if there is a way to add a little... noise/randomness into it) but see how it goes.

[allistermac]

Emperor, I've always loved the fact that 2000AD features the work of unique artists rather than the more formulaic styles that go down so well across the pond. Thank you for all the great advice, I'm putting it to good use and revising the pages. I'll have the first 2 amended pages up here before too long.

Terrapin, thanks for your kind words I really like your take on the script and your Slain picture.

[allistermac]

Judge Dredd - Cycle Of Violence: Revised Pages 1, 2 & 3







I've made a few changes to the first three pages of my submission after all the good advice I received.

I have altered Klein's features on pages 2 and 3 so that they are more consistent with the first page and given his mother a bit more clothing. I've cut back on the linework shading and added a lot more background detail. I completely re-did the 5th panel on page 2 because it was deviating from the script. I've not experimented with the inkwash/greyscale as yet but I'm intending to once I have re-visited the remaining pages.

Please let me know what you think, I'm always looking to improve and the comments I've had so far have really helped.

[Mardroid]

That's nice. The lad looks rather older in page one panel 3 though, and Dredd in panel two still looks rather off-balanced.

Spoken from the POV as a reader mind you. I can't draw that well.

[Rorschachs_Journal]

Great work Allister! Love the boots on you've stuck on Klein's Mum. Living room looks great too!

[pauljholden]

Hello, Allistair

First: I'm impressed with the way you've handled the crits you've been getting on here, taking them on the chin and learning from them - take heed anyone who wants to work in comics, this is how you do that. (I've seen people crumble at the first criticism, and storm off with "Well, I've seen worse work printed in the comic" - to the editor - not a way to ensure a future in the Galaxy's Greatest Comic...)

I'll confine my crit to the revised pages as you've clearly learned from earlier comments - and while I hope I'm not overly harsh, you invited me, so I'll take the opportunity to be as blunt as I'd hope someone else would be to me (though probably I'll be too blunt as I'm a tactless idiot).

Page 1, panel 1: Good composition on a hard pose. She has a youthful face but a slightly older body (and a very mannish hand) if you tone down much of the hatching - less is more. Also: her neck could be slightly more graceful than it is. I'll sometimes take things like this in photoshop and cut the head from the body and move it about a bit to check if it's in the right place, maybe worth doing (or it could be some more flecks of hair over her neck will take away the odd look.)

Page 2, panel 2: This worked for me better when the walls where blank, now there's too much going on and it's hard to find the focal point. (Though I appreciate this is a particularly tough panel to do - requiring, as it does, three areas of focus). Am I supposed to be looking at the guy with the binoculars? because, right now, that seems to be the important detail.

Also: that sofa is either tiny or those people are giants. Work on perspective - and figure out a way to make it your slave rather than your master!

Panel 3: Has has been mentioned, kid is way too old looking here (compared to the next panel) too many rendered lines. Also - and I see compared to earlier pages you've toned it down a bit, the parallel line inking you're doing here is adding nothing of value to the art - and is, in fact, a distraction.

Panel 4: Nice drawing (his hand looks a big over large though) the rendering on his body is way more successful here, more organic and subtler. It is a little lacking in drama though (haven't read the script, is this intentional?)

Panel 5: Classic Dredd Pose and a nice drawing. The problem with a classic Dredd pose is Tharg has seen EVERYONE do it - from Bolland all the way down to me. You need to think outside the box a little - an upshot? a dutch angle? More exagerrated? Dredd's face in total shadow? Something to make it 'pop'.

Overall story telling was nice and clear. Panel on panel inking etc got progressively better. Which is a great sign. Anatomy isn't bad at all. Though it's lacking in drama (a different panel arrangement? more extremes? if you're doing a close up - thing of a really super close up?)

I'd try and break away a little from the grid you're using. Yes, it worked for watchmen, but it can be very stifling (via Lee Grice on twitter: http://www.idrawdigital.com/2009/11/tutorial-composition-and-page-layout/ )

Page 2:
Panel 1: kids face is freaking me out a bit. You had him spot on on panel 4 of previous face.
Panel 2: I'm not buying these city scenes at all. Too clean and compressed. You want awe and then some in that - maybe consider the angle, an extreme low angle or high angle to give the shot some drama.
Panel 3: lots of bald kids at a table in a room. No real context. Also you've that texture effect is very samey and tends towards moire - not good!
Panel 4: Another mid shot - too many mid shots, angle think about angles, higher or lower. You want to consider every panel in relation to the previous and next panels - is this the same type of shot? could I make this different? (you want variety between panels)

Panel 5 again, too close in to see where we are here.

Panel 6: perspective on this is wonky. If he stood up that door would look absurdly tiny.

Page 3: Inking on this is different, I get the sense page 2 was drawn and pages 1 and 3 were redrawn later? Anyhue.

Panel 1: Constipated judge shot - we're all guilty of this! You need to think about texture - what is the fabric of his outfit? what kind of material is the helmet? what kind of material is the baton? They're all different and should be inked to reflect that.

Panel 2: Nice wide shot, though you could certainly stand to be braver with pure black (as you are in ...

Panel 3: if you got closer into the dudes in the foreground (and put them in shadow) with them much larger in fore and the guy standing up much smaller, you'd have a more ominous shot.

Panel 4: is interesting. It sort of reminds me of an Dr Peppers or Yellow submarine (it's mostly he guy in the boots) but, if you want a judge to look menacing, you want a lower angle on him. (And texture!)

Panel 5: there's those unconvincing cityscapes again - I remember reading a Mike kaluta sketchbook where he talked about drawing a castle and saying you have to really think your way into architecture - where are the toilets? what function does this window have? You're aiming for McMahon dome structures, but have a look at some of Mike's work and try and see what he's doing with them, not just their shape but the total picture.

Panel 6: Either that judge is sitting VERY high up, or the other judge is very tiny. Given the only visual clue I have for that is from panel 2 where the judges AREN'T seated high up, well... that makes him look tiny (or, possibly far away, but the eyelevels don't work for that)

Overall: not bad. Get some more pages in and you'll come along nicely. As the pages seem to have been worked in in bits and bobs - it's hard to know if I've crit'd anything that you've fixed later (for example, panel 6 judges uniform shows at least three different textures - which is a good thing, but not something you did earlier)

You need to think about where you're cropping figures - are you cropping them because, well, you've run out of room to draw them, or is it serving a dramatic purpose?

Also: spotting blacks (ie placing shadows on the page). I'm very much of the opinion, "if in doubt, black it out". Silhouettes can be your friend (for example, you could easily silhouette the buildings in the background on panel 5) and think about placing the blacks on the page not as shadows, but as a way to direct the story telling. A good, effective example of this is much much earlier in this thread : http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,27411.0.html where the black was used as a story telling device.

Anyhue, take heart: you're going in the right direction and being able to take criticism is a good way to ensure you keep going that way.

-pj
(ps I haven't mentioned it too much, but I that computery striped line thing you were doing? please don't do that ...)

[TordelBack]

Fascinating to see changes made so quickly, and with such good grace. You're a quality act, allistermac.

[allistermac]

Hello Paul,

Thank you for taking time out from your own drawing to give me such an in-depth crit, I really appreciate the help and advice. You don't have to worry about being too harsh with me, the blunter the better. I'm still learning and I need to acknowledge my shortcomings if I'm to improve and become a better artist and serve the story.

I wont address any of the valid issues you have raised here and now, I will do it when I revisit my submission and implement the advice you have given. Thanks again.

TordeBack, thank you for your kind words.

[staticgirl]

I'm still learning and I need to acknowledge my shortcomings if I'm to improve and become a better artist and serve the story./quote]

Any comic who acknowledges their role as the servant of the story instead of the star has got the right attitude if you ask me. I'm looking forward to seeing how you develop. You are reminding me slightly of Brett Ewins which is good as he was different from the masses.