New English to be EU language

[Steamboy]

The European Commision has just annooinced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the E.U. rather than German which was the other possibility.  As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that english spelling has some room for improvment and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.  The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'.  This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one les letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' is replaced by 'f'.  This will make words like 'fotograf' %20 shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptase of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.  Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'.  During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.  after ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl.  Zer vil be no mor trubl of difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer.

Zen z drem vil finali kum tru !!!

appologies to any Germans about, but its your own fault for liking David Hasslhoff.

CU Stem boy(too much spare time at work today)

[Art]

Ah, I remeber how funny this was teh first time I got it forwarded to me as an email, close to ten years ago.

[Byron Virgo]

That can't be true - the internet can't have been around for ten years!

Wow - you must be really old, Art.

Steamboy - very funny. Put a smile on my face whilst I'm stuck at work today.

[Quirkafleeg]

Is it April already?

[Bico]

I don't like the internet.

[Lobo Baggins]

I don't like the internet.

That's OK - the Internet doesn't like you, either.

It bitches about you behind your back all the time, you know...

[Byron Virgo]

And daubs rude words on your back with chalk...

[Woolly]

You dont want to know what it says about your mother...

[Max Kon]

Chain letters are cool, especially when i've composed them!! yes, i'm evil, please hate me

[Mike Carroll]

Ah, that old chestnut! It's been knocking around for at least ten years. It was probably inspired by a Mark Twain article from 1899 (see the link below).

One of my former bosses used to rediscover this one about once a year and e-mail it to everyone in the office, usually accompanied by a witty subject line like "New Documentation Policy".

Yes, it was a laugh a minute in my old job.

Mike C

Link: http://users.telerama.com/~joseph/simple.html" target="_blank">A Simplified Alphabet

[Art]

I think before the Internet was in common use it was going around by fax...

[Byron Virgo]

I bet you knew it when people were passing it around on stone tablets...

[Art]

Steady on - Germany is only 200 years old!

[Quirkafleeg]

It was originally about two slightly different Ug languages*





* copywrite Alan Moore