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Being denied the option of doing jury service, I find the concept quite attractive and am jealous in the same way a diabetic may resent someone munching a Mars bar.

Chewin' the Fat is pure quality.

Anyone refusing to buy it is a Greenix of the highest order.

"Ah, ha, ha. 'Magine that man. A Green Ex. Pure mad ex-burd, all green man."
"Aye, man. All covered in environmentally friendly green stuff. Like grass."
"Aye. Totally man. Pure smoking hersel'. Gettin' high on her arms man."
"Aye, man. Ripping off her arms and sellin' them to folk, then - just when they're pure hooked - uppin' the price for a bit of her leg so that they have tae go an' steal stuff just to get a bit of green ex mad toe dope."
(sighs) "You've taken that too far."

"Sneck that," said the dog, in a suprisingly high-pitched voice. "I AM dead."

"Sorry but I won't let you buff my dome. Your incompatible with my operating system."

This might not work, but I'll give it a go anyway.

In posts of no more than two sentences, continue the following tale:



As arranged, Marv the Mutie walked into the bar. It wasn't his kind of place; it was all glass and mirrors rather than wood, and the polished tile floor had a distressing lack of sawdust.

Has there been a murduh or not?

(PS: There's only one Glasgow Bowman!

PPS: Did you poison this wumman?!)

Haven't read the books in a while, but wasn't the question: What is the meaning of life?

I've read the first two Wanted and quite liked them, although both are very much setting the scene.

Could come over as a kind of "anti-Watchmen".

That said, I did read them both in Forbidden Planet, Buchanan Street, and would never actually pay for anything he's done.

OK then rc

Are you with Fez Block or Bowler Block?

Careful - I could kill file you if I don't like your answer.

(That was a joke by the way).

(Well, as long as you approve the fez)

Ever looked at something and thought, "Why in the name of all that is holy has that been invented?"

Well, welcome to Satan's Superstore - your one stop shop for all your unecesary needs.

I suggest the following:-

Link: http://www.doggieworks.com/shop/browse.pl?prodexp=1813" target="_blank">Why? People are starving and you want to buy THIS?

I have been reading since prog 224. Faithfully, every week.

This week's Valkyries made me question whether I should continue.

It is incoherent, rambling, nonsensical pap filling up a precious 12 pages of my prog.
I don't care if this is being run quickly to "get it over with". I suspect, no I hope, it is.

And yet, surely this is reeking with a lack of respect for us loyal readers? This is the kind of contempt for the reader that made so many people give up in the 900s.

I buy my prog for decent stories and, even if they can't all be as good as Dredd, I expect there to be some filter for quality and taste. This strip (pun intended) is just an excuse to show some tits.

I am not offended by this - I don't think I am prudish enough for that - but I am deeply saddened that someone at 2000ad thinks this is enough to constitute a story in the comic. If an editor has been foolish enough to commision this then he should accept they have wasted the comic's money. If it was, as has been suggested, picked up from another publication then his judgement should be questioned - why pick up the dross from another publication? If the publication has gone bust, does that not tell you something about the quality of the strip?

Printing crap just because money has been spent on it is throwing good money after bad. All it does is alienate the readers. People like me.

For the first time in 20 odd years I DID NOT ENJOY MY PROG.

Even Dredd couldn't save the bad taste Valkyries left in my mouth.

Wmonnkrudd

- a generic term for a thrill which uses a team of women as its hook (eg Soul SIsters, Pussyfoot 5, Valkyries). NB This only applies to teams, not single female lead characters.

Inspired by my off-topic post on the weather thread, and by the malicious sick humour that pervades the board, what do you think the funniest death in any story has been?

It could be from 2K, or another comic, or telly or films.

I'm thinking along the lines of the melting, exploding chap from Robocop - something meant to be serious but just so tacky or shoddy that it plain makes you laugh.

Back when LPs were being phased out, a mate of mine asked me to buy a Kylie LP for him. Not becuase he was a fan, and not because he wanted to listen to it - he didn't even have a record player on his hi-fi - but because it had a life size gatefold poster of her in it in a very provocative pose.

From memory, it cost ?1.99 and he gave me ?20 to pay. He was too embarrassed to join the long queue of rabid bargain grabbers, most of whom were over fifty and were either unaware CDs were "in", wanted to stock up their nuclear shelters with LPs, or were just too mean to pass up a bargain.

So I joined the queue of about ten or twelve people. I was only buying the Kylie LP - nothing for myself.

Anyway, this pal thought it would be a laugh to point at me and pass loud comments like "Look at him, he's buying that for the dirty pictures inside". All the old grannies completing their Daniel O'Donnell collection thought I was some kind of perv.

Until I got to the checkout and paid, then left the LP and change on the counter and said:

"There's your album Alan, you'd better pick it up with your change."

Heh.

Cheapo book-store Book World is doing Donnie Darko on DVD for a fiver.

I know opinion on it is divided. I haven't seen it and don't really fancy it, but I know a lot of you liked it.