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I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog

Started by The Legendary Shark, 01 July, 2018, 07:43:32 PM

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The Legendary Shark



Well, that was fun.

Moving swiftly along, the time has come for the Twoothy Limericks Round. On the radio, the chairman presents the first line and the contestants complete the Limericks a line at a time, each contestant providing one line each until the poem is completed to rapturous applause and wild laughter from the panel. But who's got time for that, right?

In our version, I'll provide five first lines and it's up to you to build a complete Limerick from the first line, or lines, of your choice. This is a Zero Sum round, meaning that all points will be donated to Virgin Trains in the vain hope that they'll get their act together before the Rapture.

The five first lines are:
Whilst reading Prog One in my bed...
As Bill Savage climbed into his truck...
Tharg went to Quaxxan for Lent...
The perp who sniffed Anderson's bike...
Johnny Alpha, while out on a hunt...

That should keep you busy for a bit, so get on with it while I go for a slash...

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IAMTHESYSTEM

Whilst reading Prog One in my Bed,
A Heatseeker round hit me in the head,
The Judges surmised,
from my Twoothy joyride,
that some Zine readers are better off dead.
BOOM! BOOM!
"You may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension."

http://artriad.deviantart.com/
― Nikola Tesla

IAMTHESYSTEM

As Bill Savage climbed into his truck,
He discovered the steering wheel stuck,
But the truck then reversed,
And through a Minefield traversed, 
Now Bill's the one riding his luck.


"You may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension."

http://artriad.deviantart.com/
― Nikola Tesla

The Legendary Shark

Food has always played a big part in 2000AD. Who can forget the memorable scenes where Judge Dredd and a cadet on final assessment shared a hottie on the slab or Nicolai Dante got his tongue around unfeasible quantities of tuna?

In this round, The Salad of Halo Jones, contestants are invited to suggest meals, snacks or other foodstuffs that might be of interest to 2000AD readers or characters.

I'd give some examples but I can't be arsed. Anyway, you can figure this out without my help, so get on with it...

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IAMTHESYSTEM

"You may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension."

http://artriad.deviantart.com/
― Nikola Tesla

The Legendary Shark

Angel Delight
Ma-Ma-Mite
Klegg of Lamb
Devlined Eggs
Judge Death by Chocolate
Bonjo Bons
High Rock Cakes
Blackblood Pudding
Oreo-Jaws
Joe Pineapples Chunks
DeMarcoroons
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Fungus

Sherbet dib dabnetts
Wolfie Smith's crisps
Robo Hunter's Pie

DaveGYNWA

PB&J Maybe
Mayor Byron Ambrosia Creamed Rice
Peas sell. But who's Brian?

AlexF

Scrambled Kleggs
Boil-in-the-Bagman rice
Spam-o in a Kano
Indigo Prime rib
Vienna, neice-oise of Dredd salad
Filet-o-Judge Fish
Dan Dare-ylea triangles
Random Lobster bisque
Blackblood pudding
Johnny Alphabetti Spaghetti


Proudhuff

Love this thread... The big W will be mining this for years to come  :-X
DDT did a job on me

Dandontdare


The Legendary Shark


And so, as the Nu Earth wormhole approaches the nebula of Thrill Power and the Biro of the Mighty Wagner penetrates the soft and intimate core of Button Man, I see it's almost time to put aside this silliness for the time being. We'll be back later for some more pointless antics when I, or hopefully somebody else, can be bothered think up some new games.

Until then, Tharg's delightful sister, Marg, and I will be reorganising my collection of Megazines. I'll be bagging the Megs themselves while Marg handles my floppies.

But first, there's just time for a game of Star Scams, in which contestants are invited to introduce us to the vacuous media personalities of the future, people who will entertain and amuse the citizens of such places as Mega City One, The Hoop and Termight.

Such luminaries may include the likes of:

Gorgon Ramsey - celebrity chef who takes only the finest ingredients and reduces them to small lumps of solid charcoal
Leonardo Cohen - celebrity inventor who sings mournful dirges about wooden helicopters
Bruise Willis - actor who made a career out of annoying judges
and... Oh, what's the point.

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The Legendary Shark

Okay, so that went well.

How about a round of sci-fi limericks? I'll kick us off with...

Randy old Captain James T.,
With an alien girl on each knee,
Went to boldly explore,
Where we've all been before,
And went blind due to Klingon V.D.

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The Legendary Shark


Captain Archer of the NX-01,
Had a space age pot to sit on,
It sucked and it buffed,
Played the theme tune when flushed,
And wrapped the captain's logs up in fine chiffon.
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The Legendary Shark


Voyager's captain, Kat Janeway,
Had a voice that came out in a strange way,
Like a wasp in a hose,
It buzzed out through her nose,
And made sense in a kind of insane way.

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