Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[Satanist]

had to buy rat pizen

I bought a mouse trap on Friday and the wee shit has managed to snaffle the grub twice without setting it off!

[Dark Jimbo]

My brother's computer is up the spout and I came home today to find that he'd quite obviously been on mine. Don't really mind that, but it's been mysteriously wiped clean - internet history, cookies, etc - all gone. Which leads me to suspect he was using it for pr0n. Yuk.

[Mike Gloady]

Yuk.

Once saw a fella in the LIBRARY looking at really quite strong (and possibly illegal) porn.

[Roger Godpleton]

Once my friend insisted we spend 2 whole hours in Soho in his quest for porn and he ended up just buying Fiesta from a conventional corner shop. Twat.

[James Stacey]

I bought a mouse trap on Friday and the wee shit has managed to snaffle the grub twice without setting it off!

What bait are you using? Snickers (or Marathon as I insist on calling it) works really well. It's gooey and the little bastards can't steal it.

[Roger Godpleton]

Multiple impediments today.

1. Almost forgot my wallet and phone as I left work and had to go back in the building to get them.

2. As I got on the bus to MK I realized I had a red tag from work in my pocket and I wasn't about to make a second trip back. (Don't worry, I won't get sacked, it's just a plastic tag and besides, they fucking love me at work).

3. When the bus arrived in MK I almost left the library book I was reading (PM me if you want to know what it was!!!) on the bus but the driver stopped me in time. Fortunately it wasn't the compendium of Queer Theory essays I also have on the go.

4. Whilst I was in MK I looked in the window at Gamestation and was taken aback by the range of Street Fighter 4 figures they had on display. I very nearly bought an Akuma figure before I came to my senses and I half a mind to get it next time I'm up there. I fear I may be sucked into the realm of buying plastic tat which would make me as lame as Tordelback.

5. An old-ish Canadian guy (I think he was Canadian, he talked very slowly) asked me for directions to a Day's Inn in Little Linford but I couldn't really help him so now he'll spend all night ambling around MK. He'll either freeze to death in Campbell Park or he'll be set upon by feral youths in Downs Barn and it's All. My. Fault.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Had a great night driving down to Southampton the other night. It was pissing down on the way there and my offside headlight blew. Once I arrived and checked the trailer to bring back, the load was shot and then on the way back the wipers would only work on fast, BRILLIANT.
Lets just say I had a bit of a headache when I got back.


Still, I'm alive so mustn't grumble

[Paul faplad Finch]

Once saw a fella in the LIBRARY looking at really quite strong (and possibly illegal) porn.

Surprised he got away with that. Libraries round my way have pretty strict restrictions on their computers. And I mean strict. At one point I couldn't even log on to this place. I remember the first time I tried I got a restricted content warning and about 30 seconds later heard the assistants discussing "who was it?" , "I think it was Paul". Big Brother paranoia kicked in and I left not long after convinced they thought I was looking at porn.

It's not as bad as that now but it's still pretty strict. Though I'm in a new town now and the assistants don't know me by name so I'm alright on that score.

5. An old-ish Canadian guy (I think he was Canadian, he talked very slowly) asked me for directions to a Day's Inn in Little Linford but I couldn't really help him so now he'll spend all night ambling around MK. He'll either freeze to death in Campbell Park or he'll be set upon by feral youths in Downs Barn and it's All. My. Fault.

I fucking hate people asking me for directions and it seems to happen all the bloody time. The thing is, even when I've lived somewhere for years I don't tend to remember street names and things. I just know how to get from my house to various places I go to regularly. I don't need to know the names of the steets I walk down to get there. And absolutely no-one will believe you if you tell them you don't know the way to somewhere like a pub or a football ground or something like that but I don't drink so one pubs no different to another to me and I spent 15 years in a town without once having reason to walk past it's football ground and hence, while I knew it existed, I wouldn't have had a clue how to get to it. It also doesn't help that I don't drive so on the rare occasions that I do know the place they're looking for it's the foot route using back alleys and footpaths. Not a clue by road so drivers are bang out of luck. Thing is, I'm the one who feels a prick at the end of the conversation. Bane of my life.

Wow, bit of a rant there.

[Mike Gloady]

Seemingly whenever I'm in Watford I'm asked for directions to the ground.  Football fans don't seem to understand that a person who lives near a ground (or in my case, happens to be in the town centre near one) may have no idea/interest (pick one, it's the same thing to me) where the bloody ground is. 

Whenever I've been asked directions to a pub, I've NEVER been asked for directions to a NICE pub.  It's always a dive known for figths and glassings.  Lovely. 

[Roger Godpleton]

Can't be bothered to start "Life fills me with Inertia" so I'll dump NME's top 50 albums of the decade here.

1. The Strokes - Is This It
2. The Libertines - Up the Bracket
3. Primal Scream - xtrmntr
4. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell
6. PJ Harvey - Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea
7. Arcade Fire - Funeral
8. Interpol - Turn On the Bright Lights
9. The Streets - Original Pirate Material
10. Radiohead - In Rainbows
11. At The Drive In - Relationship of Command
12. LCD Soundsystem - The Sound of Silver
13. The Shins - Wincing the Night Away
14. Radiohead - Kid A
15. Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs for the Deaf
16. The Streets - A Grand Don't Come for Free
17. Sufjan Stevens - Illinoise
18. The White Stripes - Elephant
19. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells
20. Blur - Think Tank
21. The Coral - The Coral
22. Jay-Z - The Blueprint
23. Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future
24. The Libertines - The Libertines
25. Rapture - Echoes
26. Dizzee Rascal - Boy in Da Corner
27. Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
28. Johnny Cash - Man Comes Around
29. Super Furry Animals - Rings Around the World
30. Elbow - Asleep In the Back
31. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
32. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
33. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
34. Grandaddy - The Sophtware Slump
35. Babyshambles - Down in Albion
36. Spirtualized - Let It Come Down
37. The Knife - Silent Shout
38. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
39. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
40. Ryan Adams - Gold
41. Wild Beasts - Two Dancers
42. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
43. Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
44. Outkast - Loveboxxx/The Love Below
45. Avalanches - Since I Left You
46. Delgados - The Great Eastern
47. Brendan Benson - Lapalco
48. Walkmen - Bows and Arrows
49. Muse - Absolution
50. MIA - Arular

What a thoroughly boring list. I hope someone firebombs their offices (Hint hint! Xmas is coming!)

[SmallBlueThing]

im very pleased to say i own none of them. and havent bought an album in ten years! sbt

[Mike Gloady]

I own four.  I loathe nearly EVERY artist involved.  Must be officially old now. 

Of course, I never put any store by the NME so it's possible that I was BORN old. 

[Satanist]

I bought a mouse trap on Friday and the wee shit has managed to snaffle the grub twice without setting it off!

What bait are you using? Snickers (or Marathon as I insist on calling it) works really well. It's gooey and the little bastards can't steal it.

In the end it was Beauty Fruit and Nut that killed the Beast.

[wild-seven]

What a thoroughly boring list. I hope someone firebombs their offices (Hint hint! Xmas is coming!)

There's some good albums immersed in a sea of absolute gash, the NME can fudge RIGHT off

[COMMANDO FORCES]

My missus owns four of them 10, 14, 27 & 49 and I own one 30. I bought it just for the one hit single and it only cost a fiver.