My aliens future shock is so easy to understand. Read more inside...

[Thread Zero]

I don't know if I am too clever or you are too slow :0) but regardless whether my fs was ironic or not, the point of the story was this:

Earth's Last Great Hope

Earth is ravaged by alien war. So the government sends an elite band of soldiers to the alien's homeworld to eradicate the menace at source.
Namely, by destroying the mother who gives birth to the aliens.

Follow me so far?

We see the horror of the conflict through one marine, hence the monologue.
The marine barely manages to survive his encounter with the aliens. He is the last one left alive. He truly is "Earth's Last Great Hope."

He places a nuclear bomb on the mother's gestation chamber but the mother is not there. She has gone away to see her relatives.

The juxtaposition between the horror which has befallen mankind and the alien mother's note, is meant to show you how absurd the alien regards the conflict.

Here is humanity trying to remain alive and the alien is more concerned with going to see her relatives.

Hence the marine's expression when he reads the note.
He says "EH?"

The same reaction as some of you no doubt had when you read it.

It is meant to be ridiculous. That is the whole point.
And a parody of the film Aliens too!
Get it now?

Is that so hard to understand?


Scojo banging his head against a brick wall here...

[El Spurioso]

Being easy to understand doesn't make it *good*.  Sorry, kiddo, but you're eventually going to have to come to the conclusion that if you think one thing (ie - that these stories are good) and the rest of the world thinks another (ie - that they're... ah... NOT good) then there's a pretty good chance that you're plain-out wrong.

I don't want to patronise you by being unrealistically nice (because there's nothing worse than someone saying.. "Mmm... it's good but.. uh.. not quite there yet" or something equally as trite which basically means 'not a hope in hell'), but your FS ideas aren't the worst ones I've ever seen.  Damning with faint praise, perhaps, but it means you're off to a good start.  I can honestly say that these ideas are a lot better than some of the first ones I ever considered sending to Tharggle (but, then, I *was* 16 at the time) but you have GOT to stop believing that you are automatically right and everyone else is wrong.  You won't get anywhere if you can't accept criticism, and I'm afraid that from what I've seen thus far, you're a textbook case of 'delusional wannabe'.  Sorry if that sounds harsh, I'm trying to administer a dose of harsh reality here in the hope that it'll do you some good.  I suspect it'll be a futile attempt, but I'd love you to prove me wrong.

You see people at conventions (and suchlike), whether they be pitching an idea or showing-off their artwork..  Their work is - frankly - not that good.  I've seen editors - the people who *know* what they're talking about - telling artists and writers that an idea/drawing is okay-ish, but nothing special, and then being told by the aspiring wannabe that they're absolutely wrong about that.  "Well," they say, "All my friends say I'm a talented genius.  My mum says I'm going all the way.  What do *you* know, anyway?"

 So, listen - Scojo.  Please don't take offence at this because I'm not being deliberately nasty.  Take some honest and constructive criticism and keep trying, but don't go down the path of so many deluded fools who *know* that they're the next Alan Moore, regardless of what some trumped-up know-nothing editor said.  

Kay?

[GordonR]

Wow!  An Aliens parody!  You should send this in to the Nerve Centre straight away.  They're always looking for fresh, original material like this!

Do you have any other amusing and original ideas similar to this?  A hilarious Star Wars parody, perhaps?

[Thread Zero]

El,

I don't think Alan moore is so great.
I really don't.
Watchman had a poor ending if memory serves me right.
And I hate beards.:0)

Lets be honest, most future shocks are not that great. Period.
Regardless of who writes them.
Set up a storyline then contradict itself in some way at the end. That is the basic construct.

Take "War Games" this week.
Joke was the company boss was a child.
Funny in a way but nothing special. Same as mine really.
So I don't think my fs are particularly inferior to those that see print in 2k.
Maybe if I wrote a proper story that would be different. Maybe I wouldn't make the grade.
Who knows?

scojo

[Thread Zero]

Wow! An Aliens parody! You should send this in to the Nerve Centre straight away. They're always looking for fresh, original material like this!

Do you have any other amusing and original ideas similar to this? A hilarious Star Wars parody, perhaps?


Milo,

Look up originality in the dictionary.

It is under;

Moore, Steve.
Killer.
Imitation of 1980's Blackhawk story with human dimension. See Gladiator film for more.

Aliens and marines have been used many times as future shock material.

What about Glimmer Rats?
A variation on such a theme.

scojo

[Wake]

I thought Dan Abnett's Pulp Sci-Fi Star Wars parody (Grunts) was pretty good.

Wake

Link: Pulp Sci-Fi in 2000AD

[GordonR]

>I thought Dan Abnett's Pulp Sci-Fi Star Wars parody >(Grunts) was pretty good.


I liked that one too, even if - as was pointed out at the time - it owed rather a lot to the short Star Wars parody movie 'Troops' which was all over the internet then.

The point is, though, that if you say something is a parody, then it really should be funny or amusing in some way.  Which scojo's story wasn't, IMHO.

[Matt]

Which looks as though it could have been based on the internet movie Troops, which you'll find at starwars.net !

[Jim_Campbell]

> It is meant to be ridiculous. That is the whole
> point.
> And a parody of the film Aliens too!
> Get it now?

I've given you a critique, the Spurious one has given you feedback and we've both actually been _paid_ for writing comics.

So, since there seems to be a comprehension gap here, let me spell it out for you:

Yes, there have been many duff Future Shocks, but saying 'mine is no worse than some of the others' is hardly a ringing endorsement, is it? The point of the exercise is to come up with the very best Future Shock you can, not something that's no less cack than some of the substandard ones ...

And, no, neither of the examples you offered up were as good anything Alan Moore has ever had published. Anywhere. The pacing was dubious in the first and non-existent in the second, the dialogue unconvincing and the 'twist' - in both instances - paid no attention to the requirements of internal story logic.

And, FYI, all of these skills are of equal, if not more, importance for screenwriting.

You obviously have enthusiasm for writing, which is a very good start, but if you assume that all your work springs fully formed and complete from your keyboard, beyond constructive criticism or editorial revision then you are going to sell precisely nothing.

Cheers

Jim

[Thread Zero]

And, no, neither of the examples you offered up were as good anything Alan Moore has ever had published.



Really, Jim?

I can show you an inferior fs by alan moore.
I read it yesterday.
Prog 251.
Two pages in length. Called "All of them were empty"

It was terrible. Far worse than mine.
Go read it.

scojo

[Jim_Campbell]

> I read it yesterday. Prog 251.
> Two pages in length. Called "All of them were
> empty"

> It was terrible. Far worse than mine.
> Go read it.

Well, since my progs are twenty miles away and in a box, that will have to wait.

Moore does, however, have a nice ear for prose and I'm prepared to bet money, sight unseen, that his #251 effort contains at least two lines which piss all over anything in either of yours ...

Also, did you miss the part where I said 'Worse stories have been published' is not a defence of a substandard piece of work ...?

Cheers

Jim

[GordonR]

>Also, did you miss the part where I said 'Worse >stories have been published' is not a defence of a >substandard piece of work ...?

Agreed.  This "well, they publish that unoriginal poorly-plotted stuff, so why don't they publish *my* unoriginal poorly-plotted drivel?" line really is the mating call of the embittered loser and scriptdroid reject.

Some of the stuff scojo's mentioned hasn't exactly been 2000AD's finest hour, and you can go through any writer or artist's back catalogue and find a few stinkers.

However, I'm fairly sure that scojo couldn't come up with anything anywhere near being better than any of the stuff he's slagged off, certainly not on the basis of the evidence - his Helter Skelter idea, his screenplay opening, his two Future Shock scripts - that he's presented so far.  It's not the worst stuff I've seen (after all, there's been some real shockers posted to the scriptdroids group) but it's basically Just Not Very Good, and certainly not of a professional standard as yet, despite what scojo may claim.

So, scojo, if you're reading this, I really do recommend you join the Yahoo scriptdroids group.  Make an effort to be polite, don't go in there telling everyone how talented you are, because you'll get the same reaction that you get here and on the 2000AD newsgroup.

Post your two Future Shocks to the group, but not if the only reason you're doing so is because you want to be told just how great they are, as is evidently your motivation for doing so here.  They will get criticised, but hopefully constructively.  And, hopefully, you won't take criticism as a personal attack, as you seem to do here.  [Clue.  Your reaction to Barny's comments.  He was genuinely and reasonably trying to help you.]  I've seen many Future Shock scripts and ideas get torn apart on the group, but the best writers, the ones with talent and potential to make it in a tough freelance environment, take it on the chin and go away and use what they've learned to improve their work.

[For example, Simon Spurrier started out on scriptdroids, and is now selling stories to 2000AD and at least one other publisher, and good luck to him.]

The difference between him and you, scojo?  Or you and any professional writer I know?    Talent and ability aside, it's also a lot to do with people skills, and being able to take a few hard knocks, when an editor throws something back in your face.

Coming off, as you so often unfortunately do, as a ranting clueless loon, doesn't really engender much confidence in your likelihood of ever making any headway as a professional writer.

'Milo' (Eagle Award-nominated comics writer, 2 novels published, 1 screenplay sold, 1 TV treatment optioned)

[Thread Zero]

Moore does, however, have a nice ear for prose and I'm prepared to bet money, sight unseen, that his #251 effort contains at least two lines which piss all over anything in either of yours ...
Jim


I am an aspiring screenwriter.
So I like to think I can write dialogue. As for Mr Moore's urine capabilities, I am not not interested.
No really...

Get home, read his strip and see.
It is has Ace Garp "The Great Mush Rush" on the cover.

Honestly it is a real stinker.
Definitely in the substandard category.

On the subject of dialogue, reread my stooges.
There was dialogue in that.

People liked that. Not that I care.

scojo

[Thread Zero]

Milo, what screenplay sold?

I am interested.

Is it going to be filmed?
Has it been made.

And as you are a writer; love to hear your ideas for a Dredd screenplay.

Oh but you haven't posted any here, have you.

Let me hear your ideas.
scojo

[GordonR]

>And as you are a writer; love to hear your ideas for >a Dredd screenplay.

>Oh but you haven't posted any here, have you.

>Let me hear your ideas.

The reason I haven't posted any ideas for a Dredd screenplay, you plonker, is because I'm a professional writer.

Professional writers don't give their ideas away on internet bulletin boards.  Ideas are the currency we make our living from.

If you had any iota of sense or understanding, you'd realise that.  

I've got loads of Dredd ideas.  And guess what?  Instead of giving them away free on the internet, I put 'em to good use.  Writing Dredd stories for 2000AD and the Megazine.