Your Country Needs You!

[Byron Virgo]

Though in this case it's actually a comic-book, but one that might potentially have the fate of the British Isles hanging upon it!*

We're looking for people to write us letters for the Action Stations Winter Special that should be ready in the next month or so, and we want you, the general public, to write them. We want people to send us their awful letters and childlike fan art to PonySchool@gmail.com or just post it on this thread, and base it around one of our many regular strips, including:

-Pony School
-Magical Mindy
-Misty the Teen Detective
-Tammy the Teenage Housemaid
-Bee Academy
-Princess Daisy
-Wild West Wendy
-Sergeant Typhoon
-Destroy all Japs!
-Gun Patrol
-Death Warrent
-Major Smokie
-Death Camp Jones
-Jack the Fighting Sambo
-Jock Wars
-The White Samurai

It genuinely doesn't matter that you haven't read or seen any of these titles - neither have we. Just send us a short letter or hurridly rushed scribble of what you think your chosen strip might be about, preferably something negative, and you could be up for getting the coverted Star Letter position. Whoever manages to achieve that lofty height will win themselves a fabulous prize of mystery, which I can't elaborate too much on right now, but Bryan'll be along in a bit with more information.

We want to hear from you, the Great British public, who are bitter enough to spend their working days wandering aimlessly round the interweb, even if it's just to tell us how much we suck.

Drop us a line today. You know that it probably doesn't make sense.










*You never know, the next Hitler might be reading it and choke to death on the noxious printing fumes. Well, it could happen!

[Funt Solo]

I can only assume that titles such as "Destroy all Japs!" and "Jack the Fighting Sambo" have been created to be deliberately provocative, in an oh-so-terribly amusing post-modern fit of supposedly intellectual derring-do.

[Richmond Clements]

No, it's not 'intellectual' at all.

[Funt Solo]

It is provocative, though.  It seems rather racist, on the surface.  I suppose I'm missing the point, am I?

[Richmond Clements]

I rather think you are, yes.
If you consider it racist, you might do well to avoid things like Big Dave, Fawlty Towers, Alf Garnett, The Office, The League of Gentlemen, and many other comedy series as well.

[Byron Virgo]

Or alternatively buy them, and then just throw them in the bin in an act of wilfull disgust.

[Funt Solo]

You'll note that all the examples you give have opted for titular sublety and, with the possible exemption of Alf Garnett, do not consist solely of satirical racism.  Thus the confusion.

For example, Big Dave is not called "White Supremist Yob's Adventures" and Fawlty Towers is not called "My Spanish Waiter Is Stupid".

In the context in which the list at the top of this thread is presented, it's not completely clear whether it's advertising earnest or satirical content.  

Good to know it's the latter.

[Noisybast]

I assume this is a wind-up?

[Byron Virgo]

Damn, you mean this ain't www.whitesupremecyforallaryanpeoples.com?

Hitch up yer britches, paw! We's in Injun country!

[Funt Solo]

I assume this is a wind-up?

That's exactly what Mel Brooks said to me when I criticised his blatant cowboy-dietism in the now infamous farting scene in Blazing Saddles.

[Byron Virgo]

Was that a joke? Sorry, I'm not really up on you young people's snappy humour - perhaps you could elucidate further, as I'm sure we're all dying to share in the punchline with you. What larks!

Now then, back to letter writing - come on then, get your arses into gear! Someone's gotta win, you know!

[Bico]

I got confused and thought this was a thread for Pony School's first issue - you remember, where everyone accused Byron (though not me, oddly) of doing a paedo-book.  This reminds me of that because it seems conclusions have been jumped to once again before any material from the book in question has seen the light of day.
Mind you, we didn't exactly discourage anyone from thinking that, if I recall correctly.
"It'll help sales" my arse.

[Max Kon]

i have an idea for one, i'll get done over breakfast

[Oddboy]

Dear Pony School Editors,

I was shocked by the blatent lack of lesbian activity in your last issue. Many people, myself included, have only followed the escapades of Penny Ryder for this long because of the pure titilation that can only be experienced via schoolgirls having pillowfights while only wearing skimpy knickers. It's not as if anyone reads it for the spies, guns & foreign menances, is it?

Yours sincerly,

Sir Albert Cacophony
Wiltshire

[LARF]

Dear Pony School Editors

I was shocked and disappointed to find a distinct lack of overt lesbian activity in your last issue. I'm sure that a lot of readers appreciate the tongue in cheek (or should that be furry cup) that the name Penny Ryder conjures up in our fevered, perverted and sex starved brains. I really hoped the pillow fight would have expanded from a titalational tirrade of skimpyness into a full on hot Penny in the slot of the Peep show that would plunge us deep into the pool of the naughty pony school.

But no avail, instead we get spies, guns and some foreign types. You've have teased us long enough sir, myself and many other readers require full frontal nudity, the introduction of an Abi Titmus lookalike, intrigue with a sports mistress and of course the long awaited Pony.

I do hope you will oblige before I go blind.

Yours with trepidation.

Willliam Anchor
Barnsley