What would you say...?

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

If you were going to bunk off your work tomorrow, maybe to head off for the weekend somewhere, what would your excuse be? If illness related, is it better to bugger off early the night before and claim to be ill?

Not that I would do such a thing. Oh no, not me. No way siree. Absolutely not. Never. Uh-uh.

[Slippery PD]

I have a number of great bunking off excuses but working in the IT industry, they quickly get converted to "your working from home".  Which means I have to dial up and ignore work!!!

Yer "lazeeee" Slippo

[W. R. Logan]

if you are going to skive never take a single day. When I used to have to go through my quarterly sick days for the kids homes managers meetings single days and people always taking the same day off stood out more than the odd two day sickie.

So take two days and the odd three dayer to stop any pattern emerging, and as tempting as it may be save the sickies for when you really want some time off.

La Placa Rifa,
W. R. Logan.

[Quirkafleeg]

Yeah the Friday sickie's a bit obvious...

It's odd how healty you become during periods of self-employment

[malkymac]

When I became a self emplyed IT worker my sickies miraculously disappeared. What I tend to do when feeling 'under the weather' is come in an hour late or leave at lunchtime (citng something like 'must see the accountant/bank manager/ VAT man' and make the hours up at another time.

Also if you are divorced like me you can say 'My ex is unwell and I have to pick the children up from school' etc.

Not to be overused though.

[Tiplodocus]

All valid points.

Often, if I wanted a Monday off for a long weekend away, I would start "coughing" on the wednesday of the week before, have Thursday, Firday and the Monday off and come into work on Tuesday moaning about how the cold ruined my weekend.

You must never discuss your scoial life with your work colleagues for this to work.

I once had to cover for a flat mate who stayed in South Africa for a week extra at the end of his holiday - I had to keep phoning in and saying he had Yellow fever.  

[almighty mat]

Oh yeah, you've got to get it in the bosses' head that you're coming down with something at least 3 days before the event. As well as coughing try acting grumpy with people, and then apologise and say that you've got a pounding headache.

And vomit on other people's desks whenever possible.

mat

[Devons Daddy]

hard to beat one around here.

i had my passport stolen. i must now make a police report and get down to immagration right away. of course helps if you are a foreigner.

though any 70s pop band may do the trick,

[Devons Daddy]

 what about,
the chap in the flat above mine had a burst water main over night. floded his place and brought part ohis bathroom through my ceiling , i have to move all my stuff out to my mates,as i have to move out whilst they do repairs.

this one works trust me, i have used it and got sympathy as well.

[almighty mat]

Whereas I drilled through a water pipe in my living room, making quite a mess of the room/wall, and all I got from my boss was 'twat..'.

he was right tho'...especially as it was me who sunk that pipe into the wall in the first place about 6 months ago!

mat

[Queen Firey-Bou]

Oh I'm sarrie...the roads were blocked with snow..
OH dear, the kids are off sick,
Oh the car broke down,
oh the puppie needs to go to the vet
Oh i got a fire call out,
The clay froze in the cold weather
the pots won't dry in the wet weather
Er i was at a funeral...

wait a minute..theyre all real...no wonder i never get any work done!

[James]

You're all lazy bastards!

There's nothing worse in my job than someone calling in sick. The amount of double shifts i've had to do over the years, just 'cos "slacker[insert name]" had a row with their girlfriend/mum/dog* makes me mad.

GET BACK TO WORK!!

[DavidXBrunt]

I'm with James there.