Pros and Cons when shopping for killer Armies

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

I'd appreciate some help from the meglomaniacs on the board, at least while they can still think freely.

To boost the numbers in my horde of chaos, I was thinking about recruiting. To be honest, this is something I think I'll need to do anyway - most of humanity will be drooling, mindless zombies by the time I'm done with my Manchurian programming - but even so I think I'd like some company to rule over.

Now, the way I see it I have two options with a set of sub-categories, all with their up-sides and down-sides. The main categories are human or non-human, and the problems I forsee are:

HUMAN

OPTION 1: NINJAS
PROS: To be honest, I don't think you can go wrong with an army of nun-chucking, shurikiening assassins. Always good for a laugh.
CONS: Where do I get all that black for their uniforms? And surely they will just get shot from a distance? Or what if one of them in American and demands a set of dosgy sequel battles?

OPTION 2: MUTANTS
PROS: A variety of twisted spawn would be quite nice. Especially if their mutations were useful, like electric killer skin or an uncanny resemblance to Demi Moore. Or Durham Red. Or Famke Jansen in Z-Men. Or... any girl from the underwear thread.
CONS: Could be psychic and read my dirty mind.

NON-HUMAN

OPTION 1: ALIENS
PROS: Always up for a bit of world-shattering.
CONS: Not too reliable, and usually have a pathetic weakenss (gold, common cold, water)

OPTION 2: ROBOTS
PROS: Giant killer robots are always in vogue.
CONS: Too self sufficient? I don't want things going all Skynet/ Replicant on me.


Anyway, what would you suggest? I've got September's "Meglomania Monthly", and there's an ad up the back for a Venusian made killer Terminator that looks a bit like Demi Moore, only mutuated to be ten years younger. Should I just go for that?

[Oddboy]

Have you considered the VIRAL possibility?

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

Exactly what do you think I'd be doing with the killer mutant alien robots? Viral, indeed.

Anyway, no can do - see CONS to the use of aliens.

[Richmond Clements]

Busy day, Dr. X?

[petemaskreplica]

I'd forget about Ninjas in this weather. All that black's bound to cause debilitating heat exhaustion.

[Queen Firey-Bou]

well Dr X the problem is, its a sellers market mate. yur average killer army isnt worth the bio-mech amalgums theyre printed on. If you want a real effecive fighting force you gotta think long term strategies here.  best get into the lab yourself.........

[Aaron Smurf Murphy]

What yer need is an army o' kiddy ninja's, train em' an' raise em' so they'll have blind faith in yer orders and yer don't have ter pay em'.

Finnigan Sinister

[Oddboy]

But then they're only as good as you can teach them.
You'd still have to hire a professional Ninja Master to show them how to do the amazing CGI/wire/bluescreen moves.

[WoD]

Finnigan, I like your suggestion of an army of ninja babies and kiddies, but what happens when they become teenagers?!?!  I think Bou may have pointed out the potential difficulties that you face with a 'normal' set of kids, I tremble when I think what you might face if they have super-ninja powers as well.

I'd suggest avoiding the 'human' & 'alien' thing and go for 'modified pets'.  Get yourself some cute puppies, hollow em out and fit em with nasty killer robotics.  Great for infiltration, and the look of surprise on your victim's face when they morph into their killer form is just priceless.  Plus no poop and with the right breed, no shedding either.

WoD.

[Proudhuff]

Forget all that, join an organised religion with conections to a govt, there are quite a few about, a night of the long knifes later you can wage whatever war you wish against whoever you wish B-)

 either that or get 'Age of Empires' or the Star Wars version of it if you fancy future war...

helpful Huff

[Trout]

Ah, you don't need an army to be a megalomaniac, Dr X.

Just be yourself and your natural megalomania will shine through.

But, here's a suggestion.

(If you're easily offended or under 18, stop reading now.)










Evil women, all in black, who can kill with the power of their genitalia.


Call them...

Minjas.

- Trout

[La Mer]

(talks with tongue firmly in side of cheek)
How about an army of Young mothers with toddlers, who havent slept for many nights, and have had to just find a prking space cos everyone has parked in the mother and baby spaces, flanked by sulky teenage girls who have been told they cant go out dressed like THAT, with a cavillry of drunken teenage boys on mopeds, with heavy support from american tourists looking for the local 'traditional' pub?

give me the willies just thinking about it.....

[Nice Tom]

I reckon you need an army which appears at first to be kind and more in tune with the people than the currenr government. Then the people will do most of the overthrowing for you. And then the army moves in and sets up yer basic fascist regime.

[Thread Zero]

Zo, enigmatic Doktor X, ve meet at lasht!

You are beink foolish meglomanical fellow, I am thinkink. Vot you musht be doink is hirink zer fretenink lookink but totally ineffectual henchmens, vot are beink good at runnink up unt down viz der machine guns unt der big sticks unt fings but cannot be hittink der barn door ut free pacinks.  Zese are beink der recomendings for ein beginnink Evil Voorld Conqvestink Person!

Bevare! 'Der Army of Ninjas' package is only beink recommded for der Fiendish Oriental supervillian expectinks to be facink der Kung-Fu Type hero - ozervise der ninjas vill be flattenink zer hero before he has efen begun to foil your Evil Plan for Voorld Domination (tm)!

Doktor von Fiendishstein, editor 'Meglomania Monthly incorperating Supervillian World'.

[Smiley]

Are you French?