Main Menu

Attempts at the sample scripts

Started by Emperor, 19 January, 2010, 08:08:19 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Dark Jimbo

And it's always worth using the 'preview' button next to 'post' to check whether you've done it right.
@jamesfeistdraws

Jase

Alright Chaps!- Does anybody know, is 4 months a bit long to be waiting to hear back from Tharg?
regarding an attempt at the sample scripts, cheers in advance
"As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a graphic artist- and one day soon,
I WILL BE." - Tim Bisley,

Jon


Jase

"As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a graphic artist- and one day soon,
I WILL BE." - Tim Bisley,

3ciona

#949
Hi guys
Here is my attempt at a sample script. Hope you like it, c&c are welcome.





Darren Stephens

Hi 3ciona, unfortunately those aren't showing up.....  :)
https://www.dscomiccolours.com
                                       CLICK^^

3ciona

Hi Darren. Thanks for the info, everything looks ok from here, I guess google drive is not the best tool for posting images.





Darren Stephens

I see them now. Cracking work, btw.  ;)
https://www.dscomiccolours.com
                                       CLICK^^

Jase

Hi Guys,
Started another sample script, this one being the Karn the foul eye script.
This is a rough of page one, inked out- please any comments and criticisms are more than welcome, particularly over the layout.
My last attempt on the Cycle of Violence script had the following comments from Tharg-
work on the figure drawing,
layouts were flat and constricted- and keep the angles interesting. Hopefully trying to address these problems!
"As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a graphic artist- and one day soon,
I WILL BE." - Tim Bisley,

mightybren

Can you link to a higher resolution version @Jase?
Your figures are well proportioned but the muscles look stiff and unnatural. They're not particularly organic looking.
The angles are nice but I wonder if the centre panel really needs to be constrained to a panel? I'd probably let it bleed out across the page, particularly the bottom of the page as that's where the perspective is leading the eye.
The last panel looks a bit out of place to me. What's going on? It looks out of context, maybe because it's the only panel that doesn't have Karn in it.

Don't get me wrong, there's some fine drawing skills here from what I can see :) I really like what I can see of the ink work in the first panel.

MenschMaschine

Quote from: Jase on 03 August, 2016, 06:47:19 PM
My last attempt on the Cycle of Violence script had the following comments from Tharg-
work on the figure drawing,
layouts were flat and constricted- and keep the angles interesting. Hopefully trying to address these problems!

Hey, Jase, the first panel is a killer, man! If you manage to keep that quality throughout the whole story, you may have a winner ( though only Tharg can say that for sure). The barbarian's design is great too, almost like something you'd see in a Manowar concert :lol:


MenschMaschine

It's almost that time of the year again so this will be my attempt at boring everyone out of their minds with another Cycle of Violence try-out. It's the third time I've done this script ( I had another two attempts with PF and Karl-Four-Eye, though I never quite got to submit them) and I'm not so sure about the results... as usual.
Thoughts and criticism from this fine bunch are more than welcome.

Phuz

I've been following this thread over the years, it's truly enlightening to see the same scripts done by different artists. I reread it from the beginning a while back and noticed a few of the pages were missing, especially the Neil Struthers Dredd pages. I contacted Neil but unfortunately he'd recently purged his Flickr account and after some digging could only find the first page.

So has anyone else got all of Neil Struthers's Dredd pages?


Steven Denton

Quote from: MenschMaschine on 30 August, 2016, 01:43:29 PM
It's almost that time of the year again so this will be my attempt at boring everyone out of their minds with another Cycle of Violence try-out. It's the third time I've done this script ( I had another two attempts with PF and Karl-Four-Eye, though I never quite got to submit them) and I'm not so sure about the results... as usual.
Thoughts and criticism from this fine bunch are more than welcome.


Really good inking and detailing in the apartment. I think you could improve on the figure perspective particularly in frame 2. with the background perspective so spot on the figure work has to be spot on too. in my opinion I don't thing the gun shot works in the final frame either. by covering the outstretched arm and gun it's pretty hard to see what's going on. Your shading is great and there is a lovely energy to the whole page.

Steven Austin

Quote from: MenschMaschine on 30 August, 2016, 01:43:29 PM
It's almost that time of the year again so this will be my attempt at boring everyone out of their minds with another Cycle of Violence try-out. It's the third time I've done this script ( I had another two attempts with PF and Karl-Four-Eye, though I never quite got to submit them) and I'm not so sure about the results... as usual.
Thoughts and criticism from this fine bunch are more than welcome.


Hey MM, I haven't been here for a while - I was a frequent visitor some time ago doing exactly what you are - took me 5 submissions (one of them being Cycle of Violence) and a lot of improvement over about 3 years to finally land a gig in the prog.
With regards to your work here, I would concur with Mr Denton, your biggest issue are your figures, you really need to nail the proportions and perspective. The girl in the first panel looks as though her head is floating above the floor and she should be more foreshortened as we are looking up her body from somewhere down by her feet. If you look at a figure standing square on in front of you there are around three heads down to the navel - it stands to reason that if a figures torso is foreshortened as should be the case here then that would decrease to perhaps 2 heads BUT you have 3.5 heads. Same with the second panel, you've foreshortened Dredds legs but not his arms or torso. Again with a figure square on there are around 6 heads down to just below the knee, if foreshortening this would be less but you still have six heads so his torso is too long.
On the plus your use of blacks is really nice and the page layout works nicely.
Hope that's useful. :)