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Latest news from Uncle Fester and I here at Disconnected Press, because we realise we've been VERY VERY quiet on here recently....

We have a new book coming out! It's called CROSS and it's an anthology of political humour, satire and the occasional robot. We're not party political; our aim is to poke fun at all sides whilst also illuminating some of the inequities and injustices in the way we are governed.

If that doesn't float your boat, how about our list of creators, which includes: Rob Williams, Emma Beeby, Tom Eglington, David Baillie, PJ Holden, Ben Willsher, Nick Dyer and Tom Foster, as well as the Forum's own Richmond Clements. Some of our favourite script and art droids turn their attention to the present day...

We're running a Kickstarter at the moment to cover some of the production costs (those droids take a lot of oil); rewards include pages of original artwork from the book and artwork commissions from Uncle Fester aka Conor Boyle aka the artist who helped make the dark judges dark again in Dark Judgement a couple of years ago. For the writers among you, we've also got script reviews by David Baillie and writing consultations with yours truly. Or you can simply pledge to buy the book for a mere £10! The Kickstarter is at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/657603937/cross-a-political-satire-anthology

If Kickstarter's not your thing, then you can buy the book from us after 15 November - we're launching at ThoughtBubble in Leeds (we'll be in the Royal Armouries hall, nice and close to The Psychedelic Journal of Time Travel table), and then we'll be on sale via our website (www.disconnectedpress.co.uk) and hopefully through some of your favourite comic retailers too.

Thanks for reading :-)

['twas the Prog before Christmas.]

The joint winners of the 33rd said competition - Messrs Skullmo and eamon1961 - have put their heads together and come up with this festive charmer for your yuletide delectation.

Our competition theme this time is: 'twas the Prog before Christmas.

And the kicker is: submissions should preferably be in the form of poems.

Boo-yah - you weren't expecting that, were you!? Mwa ha ha ha. (Power? Getting to me? Never!)

Extra credit for polysyllabic rhyme and for brevity. Closing date: let's say four weeks from now. 23:59 on Christmas Eve. We'll vote over Christmas - ho ho ho!

I finally managed to coincide a day off (before travelling to ThoughtBubble) with the voting deadline for a Story Comp. Hence me doing this rather than bluemeanie....

The challenge this time was to write no more than 500 words on this:

Thought it might be fun to see who can make the best story when you all have to start and end at roughly the same place. So this one will be about making the most of an assigned story situation. You know, like the real 2000AD writers do

2000AD Prog 1850. The jumping on prog. You all have a copy.

There's one panel "Joyce's knowledge of Mega-City One Law is poor but he displays considerable courage". This panel shows a snapshot of another call the three of them took. Tell the rest of that panel's story.

If you haven't got a copy, the panel is http://2000ad.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/joyce-panel.jpg

The votes are in and counted. And here are the results in reverse order....

[2000AD Prog 1850.]

A different kind of challenge this time round, set by our last winner bluemeanie (who will also be taking over comp admin for a while - no, that wasn't his prize!).

The meanie said:

Thought it might be fun to see who can make the best story when you all have to start and end at roughly the same place. So this one will be about making the most of an assigned story situation. You know, like the real 2000AD writers do

2000AD Prog 1850. The jumping on prog. You all have a copy.

There's one panel "Joyce's knowledge of Mega-City One Law is poor but he displays considerable courage". This panel shows a snapshot of another call the three of them took. Tell the rest of that panel's story.

If you haven't got a copy, the panel is http://2000ad.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/joyce-panel.jpg

Equally, if you haven't got a copy, you absolutely need to get one. Right now. OK?

No more than 500 words; closing date: Sunday 10th November. That's four weeks away, but means we get a good shot at a Christmas comp too :-)

For the 32nd short story competition the brief was set by our last winner, Alski. Our theme: a 2000AD MOVIE MASH-UP. We wanted Monty Python's Life Of Halo Jones, Dreddy Potter, Die Hard in Downlode... Twothy characters meet Hollywood, Bollywood, Pinewood or Ed Wood. As ever, we demanded magic in no more than 500 words.

A strong selection this time round and some butt-clenchingly tense voting, I can tell you.

And so: in reverse order....

How?

By entering the brand new, all-star Story Comp:

http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,39011.0.html

Closing date: 8 September. Winner gets the book. That is all.

[2000AD MOVIE MASH-UP]

Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome to the 32nd DVD in the ever-growing boxset that is the 2000AD Forum Story Comp.

Thanks to our last winner, the marvellous Alski, we have a new theme. It's time for a 2000AD MOVIE MASH-UP.

Give us Monty Pythons Life Of Halo Jones, Dreddy Potter, Die Hard in Downlode... Twothy characters meet Hollywood, Bollywood, Pinewood or Ed Wood.

No more than 500 words, please, and we'll go for a closing date of Sunday 8 September, so that everyone can take a holiday :-)

Oh, and the prize: winner takes all - one hardcover copy of Trifecta to the winner of the popular vote. Oh yes, oh yes indeed!

Well, the hot weather took its toll on our most recent Story Comp. Thanks to all those who battled the sunshine and entered. The theme this time was SPACE, and we had a one earthlet, one vote system for picking our winner.

So without further ado, I can announce that the winner of Story Comp #31 is:

[Wednesday 31 July]

Get yourself out of the sunshine and into a darkened room, it's time to read some stories and cast some votes!

Our challenge this comp, set up our last winner eamon1961, was simply a Twothy story set in space.

Stories follow below. Sadly, there are only four of them, which kind of devalues the podium a bit. So I propose a suitably brutal voting system this month. Simply tell me which one you think should win. One (hu)man, one vote.

Closing date for voting is Wednesday 31 July.

Oh and the free smile for understanding the closing date goes to TordelBack 

[a galactic tale told in no more than 500 words featuring any 2000AD character in space, as simple as that.]

Welcome to this 2000AD Forum Story Comp! This will be our 31st adventure together and we're going farther than we ever have before...

Courtesy of our last winner eamon1961, we are taking a journey into the great darkness, the unknown beyond, the very far-awayness that is SPACE. Your mission: a galactic tale told in no more than 500 words featuring any 2000AD character in space, as simple as that.

Send them up into the black and see what happens.

Closing date: 8.18pm on Saturday 20th July. Free smile to the first person who tells me why.

[SmileBy Temponaut]

Sorry, folks, but this is a bit late.... Much comic-makingness going on in Fest-Towers which means I, frankly, keep forgetting the deadlines which I myself set. That said, I still love you all dearly and hope you don't mind bearing with me,,,

[best cute face]

Hmm.

Anyhoo, the point of this is that results thingie....

In the interests of efficiency, I shall be providing links to the podiumistas and only reprinting the winning story below.

So...

in third place:

Smile
By Temponaut

http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,38655.msg765223.html#msg765223

Well done to the Temp, who is a relative newcomer to Storyville....





In second place (drum roll):

Burning Point
By Zarjazzer

http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,38655.msg765217.html#msg765217

Another return to the podium for old favourite Zarjazzer... welcome back to glory....




The Honourable Mention this time round goes to The Enigmatic Doctor X whose story can be found at:

http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,38655.msg765225.html#msg765225

And our winner.....

[Blue Meanie]

Get those voting buttons ready; it's time! Here are the entries for the 30th Forum Story Competition. The topic, as chosen by last comp's winner Blue Meanie was HORROR:

Short story. 2000AD characters. FULL ON HORROR. Want it nasty as hell. Extra points for not using an obvious character like Judge Death or Durham Red to do it either. Take someone not usually associated with horror and do something messed up with them.

Entries to follow in random order; I'll let you know when you can start voting. Top 3 and an Honourable Mention if you will; voting will close at 5.49pm on Thursday 6 June so vote quickly! Here they come....

[23:59, Sunday 19 May]

No other way to describe it, we're after FULL ON HORROR from you.

Our last winner, bluemeanie, explains the theme:

I say go dark. Short story. 2000AD characters. FULL ON HORROR. Want it nasty as hell. Extra points for not using an obvious character like Judge Death or Durham Red to do it either. Take someone not usually associated with horror and do something messed up with them. Ideally in a way that it could actually work in continuity and it's a hidden side to them that normally happens off panel or between stories. Show some dark closeted skeletons.

500 words or fewer. Entries written in blood will receive extra credit. Closing date 23:59, Sunday 19 May.

This being our 30th competition, there will be prizes... More details soon!

So here we are: the moment of truth #29. The challenge for this Story Comp was 500 words of satire; in the words of our last winner strontium_dog_90, we were looking for:

not the political stuff, though there's plenty of that, but the stuff on the worst parts of our culture, especially movies and TV. Whether it's Slaine cutting his way through the contestants - and judging panel - of The X Factor or Dredd arresting Plan B for crimes against music and acting, give me your best satirical story featuring one of The Galaxy's Greatest roster of stars.

Here are the results, in reverse order <drum roll>:

[Midnight on Friday 12th April]

I have donned my baggiest trousers and am dancing like a crab so I can say to you all: It's Votin' Time!*

Our 29th theme was offered by our 28th winner, strontium_dog_90:

What I've always loved most about 2000ad is the satire - not the political stuff, though there's plenty of that, but the stuff on the worst parts of our culture, especially movies and TV. So that's what I'd like to see for the next competition. Whether it's Slaine cutting his way through the contestants - and judging panel - of The X Factor or Dredd arresting Plan B for crimes against music and acting, give me your best satirical story featuring one of The Galaxy's Greatest roster of stars. (Extra kudos to the person who does the most fictional damage to the cast of that awful Essex show!)

Voting protocol: Your Top 3 please, and an Honourable Mention to someone you think is worthy. Closing date for votes: end of next week, what's that? Midnight on Friday 12th April.

Stories to follow in a randomised order. I'll let you know when you can start voting.

Note that darnmarr submitted a story but as he rightly said it was too long and not on the right theme, so it's not included below. If you want to read it, it's at http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,38099.msg750668.html#msg750668, but you can't vote for it (yeah, I'm a rules fascist, what you going to do about it??).

Happy reading!!

*My cultural references are past their sell-by date. That one is 23 years old.

The 2000AD Forum Short Story Comp needs you! Back in the heady days of, ooh, 2011, the story comp regularly drew in 20-30 entries. One of our early winners - Mike Carroll - went on to write one or two things somewhere, and many of our number are gracing the small- and medium-press these days too.

So who's next? Which of you is the next budding Wagner? Get your biros out and get writing. Come and have a go at the Forum's 29th Short Story Comp:

http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,38099.0.html

[23:59 on Tuesday 2 April.]

Welcome to the 29th Forum Short Story Competition! Our theme this time comes from our last winner -  strontium_dog_90 - and is as follows:

What I've always loved most about 2000ad is the satire - not the political stuff, though there's plenty of that, but the stuff on the worst parts of our culture, especially movies and TV. So that's what I'd like to see for the next competition. Whether it's Slaine cutting his way through the contestants - and judging panel - of The X Factor or Dredd arresting Plan B for crimes against music and acting, give me your best satirical story featuring one of The Galaxy's Greatest roster of stars. (Extra kudos to the person who does the most fictional damage to the cast of that awful Essex show!)

So get your bitchin' shoes on and send us no more than 500 words by 23:59 on Tuesday 2 April.

And lo, this time, there be prizes, from Tharg himself......

Evening, one and all. It's results time from this, the 28th 2000AD Forum Short Story Competition.

A small but perfectly formed cluster of stories to choose from this time around. Our theme: to ponder "what if" in the world of 2000AD. What if Joe Dredd had failed his assessment or Dante had been a pug-ugly buck-toothed dweeb? What if the Spacegirls had become a staple of the Prog?

The voters have spoken and they have said.....

[Your Top 3 and an Honourable Mention by midnight, Sunday 24th February]

It's votin' time so get those decision cells warmed up...

The challenge of this, the 28th Forum Story Comp, was to ponder "what if" in the world of 2000AD. What if Joe Dredd had failed his assessment or Dante had been a pug-ugly buck-toothed dweeb? What if the Spacegirls had become a staple of the Prog?

A select group of entries (which makes me think we might have to reinstate the limerick comp to get the numbers up!), but some very fine storytelling indeed. Your Top 3 and an Honourable Mention by midnight, Sunday 24th February and I'll post results when I get back from London Super Comic Con!

I'll let you know when you can start voting....

[Your challenge: to ponder "what if" in the world of 2000AD]

Our last two winners - Richmond Clements and Mogzilla - have put their heads together and decided a theme for the 28th (count 'em) 2000AD Forum Short Story Comp.

Your challenge: to ponder "what if" in the world of 2000AD. What if Joe Dredd had failed his assessment or Dante had been a pug-ugly buck-toothed dweeb? What if the Spacegirls had become a staple of the Prog?

You have 500 words or fewer to share your view of the world we might have encountered if a few little things had been different. Closing date: midnight, Sunday 3 February.

Good luck and good writing!