Writing to Tharg 2012 - LETTERSENTERTAINYOU THE ROAD TO 10,000

[Buttonman]

My dog has no nose...

[Proudhuff]

My dog has no nose...

Jamaica?

Come on old bean where is the scathing pithy round up or missives we know and lurve?

[Buttonman]

Hold your breath Tom (I know you don't have many left) and we'll publish as soon as Tharg sees fit to give us some subject matter. Failing that I'll see you at the Variety Bar where we can workshop your (lack of) talents!

[Proudhuff]

Hold your breath Tom (I know you don't have many left) and we'll publish as soon as Tharg sees fit to give us some subject matter. Failing that I'll see you at the Variety Bar where we can workshop my (lack of) drinking skills

FTFY

[Link Prime]

Get a Glaswegian Skag den room you two.

[Buttonman]

Oooft! is anything would unite the Edinburghers and the Weegies it's a challenge from the Micks! Better warn the Variety to reinforce their plate glass window. It could end up like the end of Blazing Saddles!

[Link Prime]

Apologies for the racial ribbing.
I'm fully aware there're plenty of Scot lunatics on the board, so I better watch my alcohol loosened tongue.
Wouldn't want to end up *choke* battered.

[Proudhuff]

They've hit a Buddy!!! Come on girls!"

[Buttonman]

And we're back for the final push towards the 10,000th piece of Nerve Centre and Dreddlines content. At the present rate of exchange we're hoping for a 2013 finale but rest assured we'll be here even if have to finance the latter postings via our pension in Euro-Bucks. To be fair Prog 1839 upped the game with a mighty 7 missives. At this rate we could be done in time for our Summer holidays to Letter-con but we've been burned before.

The 7 letters were a bit sparse in content but we'll take what we get. First up is Carl Jones of Wiltshire who notches up his first Beast score with this Letter of the Week. There are 70 Joneses in the Beast database which is a lot less than some other popular surnames - Watson for example. Carl brags that he's managed to procreate and has shown his comic to the Boy. It's like 'The Wonder Years' all over. Wait the Boy got bored - next!

Eamonn Clarke of Cambs is up next and he's another first timer. There are 4 Eamonns on the Beast each with one letter to their name, the last being Mr Coody of Waterford in Prog 922 from 1995. Eamonn like the Gunheadz too and wants more. Tharg obliges. It's a beautiful moment.

Bernard Duggan of the good old USA works his magic next and he's another new man - what about the old guard who wrote in about that Dredd question on 'The Chase'? There are 3 Duggans on The Beast with the last to show being Matt in Meg V.4.3. Bern asks for more Slaine and gets some - drat and double drat!

The 4th new man is Mark Sexton of Oz who doubles the number of Sextons on The Beast overnight. He matches the score of John of Cork who popped his cherry in Prog 147. Mark likes Zombo and Tharg agrees.

At last we have a returning customer in the shape of Neil Edmond of that London who now boasts a mighty 2. Mark is the first Edmond on The Beast although some Edmonds have made the grade. Mark was previously seen in Prog 2011. Mark also likes Zombo in a letter that is frankly a waste of space - I mean they said 'Metro City One' that's real news!

Next up is a real lettersmith in the shape of Steve Frame of Caithness who notches a credible 22nd score with this offering. Steve has been quiet of late with his last showing in Prog 2013. Steve shows his experience and scores a free Heroclix by asking Tharg how he can get a Prog without a thrill-merchant. Tharg of course hits it out the park and everyone is happy. Apart from the poor reader who needs a wash after reading the exchange.

Last up is another new man in the shape of Lee Smith of e-mailland who has daubed some paint on his helmet. Nice work if you can get it. Lee looks like he lives with his mum given the wall art in his home. No problem there Lee - all the more bucks for that roller-skating career! There are 114 Smiths on The Beast meaning they kick the asses of their long time rivals, the Joneses.

This full page takes the Beast to 9954 entries and the elusive 10,000 within our grasp - well if we turn into Mr Fantastic overnight - which we might!

[Proudhuff]

Come on old bean where is the scathing pithy round up on missives we know and lurve?

[Frank]

Next up is a real lettersmith in the shape of Steve Frame of Caithness who notches a credible 22nd score with this offering. Steve has been quiet of late with his last showing in Prog 2013. Steve shows his experience and scores a free Heroclix by asking Tharg how he can get a Prog without a thrill-merchant. Tharg of course hits it out the park and everyone is happy. Apart from the poor reader who needs a wash after reading the exchange.

Your publication (without specific proof of ownership) of an original phrase I first conceived in the eighties means I intend to involve you in a protracted legal dispute which prevents anyone else reading this thread. Good luck interesting them in paying £100 a pop for your 'limited' edition hardcover (of 'just' 1000 copies).

Reading the sickening description of one hand greasing the palm of the other (above) makes me wonder what the other most popular ways for any aspiring letter hack to see their name in print might be? Praising a universally loathed thrill (especially if it's written by the editor), and asking whether a strip (which you know will be returning to the comic soon) will be returning are always safe bets, but I'm sure you know more.

This is the kind of knowledge not easily contained in an excel spreadsheet, and might involve hours of essentially pointless labour on your part.

 

[Dog Deever]

Grud, the Lettersentertainyou of yore was far superior to the watered down fayre we get these days. Gone are the incisive casual insults, hot-shot dodging repartee and all-round thin-ice skating.

It's the 'Action' of letters review threads.

[Buttonman]

The Beast will not be tamed! Comment is free but facts are priceless. Smutty innuendo is 2p a pound.

The Beast can recognise letter writing tropes with the 'love it' the most popular followed by the 'When is XXX coming back' and 'why can't I get a Prog on Mercury anymore?'. The most sickening is the 'Ho-ho am frae Embro gies a wee plastic guy...'.

The whole thing does get to Tharg as he demonstarted at Christmas with is fading skin and double chin...

[Mabs]

I finally had the chance to frame the letters from Tharg up on my wall for getting my letter published in prog 2013, and Letter of the week in prog 1827! Incidentally, B'man never got to review that prog on here. 

[COMMANDO FORCES]

I do love it how the forum is littered with insanity and I add myself to that particular group