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Author Topic: Attempts at the sample scripts  (Read 115305 times)

James

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #45 on: 02 March, 2010, 04:04:37 pm »
I've finished page 2. There's a lot of text on this page, so I lettered it as I was drawing it, just to make sure there was enough room (I haven't shown the lettering here, obviously).

Again, feel free to wade in with your crits.


Proudhuff

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #46 on: 02 March, 2010, 07:09:25 pm »
Really impressive, sir I salute you!
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Darren Stephens

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #47 on: 02 March, 2010, 07:11:36 pm »
Thats very well done James. Bung some Chris Blythe colours on there and were away!  ;)
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uncle fester

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #48 on: 02 March, 2010, 07:27:08 pm »
Great toilet-dunking panel :)

Artdroid Robinson

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #49 on: 02 March, 2010, 07:29:41 pm »
Nice work, James. Page 2 is certainly alot better than my original. The head down the toilet panel is fantastic. Wish I'd thought of drawing it from that p.o.v. (GNASH GNASH.) Really strong figure drawing as well (love the hands.) Did you use any reference? Nicely inked too. Good luck.

Cliff

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #50 on: 02 March, 2010, 07:35:43 pm »
Nice work, James.

Yowza! Praise, indeed!

Three posts in two-and-a-half years, Mr Robinson? Why not stick around? Put your feet up. Have a beer! Enter the art comp ... no, on second thoughts, don't!

Cheers

Jim
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Mike Gloady

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #51 on: 02 March, 2010, 07:37:10 pm »
Clearly Tharg's working you too hard Robinson Droid. Hang about and have a chat.  Even if Jim's attempting to barr you from the art compos.....
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James

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #52 on: 02 March, 2010, 08:07:56 pm »
Are we allowed to swear anymore?

Fucking hell!

And, yeah, I do use quite a lot of reference. Whatever works, eh?

Mike Gloady

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #53 on: 02 March, 2010, 08:09:16 pm »
I like that second page there by the way.  Much improved and easier to follow than your first attempt at the first page. 

Good inking.  I don't know much else but I like your clean style.
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Jim_Campbell

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #54 on: 02 March, 2010, 08:19:10 pm »
Again, feel free to wade in with your crits.

The only thing I'd mention as a reader (rather than an artist), I'm struggling to understand the lighting in panel 1. The shadow on the wall suggests the primary light source is right of panel, but the shadows on the boy's face suggest the main light is left of panel, which is causing me a bit of brain ache!

Cheers

Jim
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Gibson Quarter

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #55 on: 02 March, 2010, 09:34:48 pm »
Lovely Lovely stuff James!

Kudos for having the cajones to put them up for public crits. This is a VERY solid page...The only thing I can think to suggest to improve this, is the final panel. The 2 fighting figures have a bit of stiffness to them, the left leg of the falling fellow's foreshortening is very close, but not quite working for me.

I had to look VERY hard to nit pick this bit, and I only did so since you asked.

Great work.

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #56 on: 02 March, 2010, 10:13:16 pm »
That's a great page James - I'd be delighted to see that in my prog, crystal clear and interesting storytelling too . 

Great to see Cliff posting here!  Mr. Robinson, hope you've taken note of the excitement that ensues on this forum every time you turn in an episode, never mind two in a row.   

Jim_Campbell

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #57 on: 02 March, 2010, 10:17:43 pm »
Mr. Robinson, hope you've taken note of the excitement that ensues on this forum every time you turn in an episode, never mind two in a row.   

He could probably do more if some selfish bastiches on here didn't keep distracting him with commissions!

Cheers

Jim
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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #58 on: 02 March, 2010, 11:27:01 pm »
It is a very strong page indeed with some top notch visual storytelling going on and you can follow the story just fine without the lettering.

Kudos for having the cajones to put them up for public crits. This is a VERY solid page...The only thing I can think to suggest to improve this, is the final panel. The 2 fighting figures have a bit of stiffness to them, the left leg of the falling fellow's foreshortening is very close, but not quite working for me.

I had to look VERY hard to nit pick this bit, and I only did so since you asked.

Indeed. Jim is right about the lighting in the first panel and I'm happy to take GQ's word on the foreshortening on the last one. What struck me about the latter is that the only way you could get the motion in that figure (falling straight back, head flying back and blood and spit flying from the mouth) is through a strong upward blow (an upper cut or a knee). He is seen hitting him right to left as we look at it which would tend to whip the head over to the left (in the direction of the force) and would tend to twist the body with the legs staying fairly straight, the torso twisting a bit at the waist and the shoulders turning as the head whips round.

That said it is only because I've gone through it with a fine toothcomb and in a normal issue with text, SFX and the like you'd be very unlikely to notice.
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James

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Re: Attempts at the sample scripts
« Reply #59 on: 03 March, 2010, 12:03:41 am »
Cheers for the comments, kids. My thoughts tomorrow. But before bed a sneaky peaky at page 3.