Attempts at the sample scripts

[Steven Denton]

Thanks Emperor.

Terrapin, I agree with you  kleins arm looks weird, I'm pretty sure that I ended up drawing the body and the arm in 2 different perspectives, school boy error. The 4th panel is a bit busy, it will be sorted out in the colouring but that's no excuse. Some times I go to far in the noodeling.

[dark passenger x]

Hello Eveyone

I have maded my version of the sample script called Cycle of Violence. Im waiting for everyones reactions and comments.

http://darkpassenger1888.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4siums
http://darkpassenger1888.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4sivgb
http://darkpassenger1888.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4siwt9
http://darkpassenger1888.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4sixti
http://darkpassenger1888.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4siygm
http://darkpassenger1888.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4siz3u

[Emperor]

Thanks for sharing.

Just a couple of quick thoughts:

• Don't letter these pages - this is general advice but especially here.
• You need to study more reference material for the Judges' uniforms, especially the helmet and eagle.
• You need to work on your anatomy - which is what just about everyone showing their early sample pages to Tharg get, but it is vital

It might help to work on more of a Judge pin-up image, get yourself up to speed with the anatomy and uniform, so it should make life easier when trying to draw them sequentially. Then you can work on fine-tuning things, which is why I've kept the advice more general.

[Mardroid]

I haven't seen beyond page 1  yet Dark Passenger but here are my thoughts.

I quite like the style although relative anatomy needs work. By that, I mean the heads tend to look too large. That's a legitimate comic style to take, but my understanding is that the editor wants a more realistic style of artwork for Judge Dredd at the moment.

I think inking needs work to. The foreground figures need to stand out more from the background.

Also, in the first two panels you've made quite a major mistake. Look at the caption in the first panel, then look at the woman. She's in a bad way, but she doesn't look dead.

Also, who are the bunch of other people in the first panel, lower right corner? Apart from the fact that I think only the kid should be there, the perspective is wrong.

[dark passenger x]

Thank you for the comments.

Emperor do you think I should put the whole thing again unlettered?

Emperor can you send me a couple of reference material of the judges?

I think the helmets and the uniforms are a bit too twisted in my way, I tried to put my style in the uniforms ,I guess its too much.

I going to do another sample script.

Mardroid

If you have some free time check page 5 and 6.
Im more satisfied with those. 

[Emperor]

Thank you for the comments.

Emperor do you think I should put the whole thing again unlettered?

Not at the moment, focus on getting the anatomy and the Judges right.

Emperor can you send me a couple of reference material of the judges?

There are links to reference material in the first post of this thread.

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Before you letter your own comics again, go here and read this entire blog first http://clintflickerlettering.blogspot.com/ - !

I'm afraid Comic Sans MS is the biggest faux pas you can make comicswise and an editor will spot the red flag a mile off.

[staticgirl]

On the good side, I did like some of the effects you did and your art slightly reminds me of someone else but I be blowed if I can remember who it was, the one who made Maeve the Many Armed immortal for me....

Every artist should study anatomy and body language. You should also get yourself into small press comics for the confidence, experience and portfolio possibilities.

[Jon]

Dark passenger; It looks like you're trying to construct your figures from first principles, which is not necessarily a bad way to go and can give you a much greater understanding down the line. Unfortunately the human body is a confounding thing and almost always catches you out. Rather than worrying so much about trying to capture the surface muscle detail it's probably worth trying to consider your forms more in terms of volumes and shapes. Think about where the weight is, whether you're getting across the right sense of solidity or dynamism. Learning how the muscle groups fit together is useful and fascinating, but it's rendered fairly pointless if the overall figure is wrong or awkward.

It might be worth, as an exercise, taking one of your pages and then scouring the net/ papers/ magazines/ books, etc for examples of people in poses as close as possible to what you've drawn (sports photography can be quite useful). Then study them - don't try just copying what's there necessarily, it'll probably come across fairly flat, but try to understand and break down exactly what's going on - how a particular limb looks foreshortened towards the camera, how a leg tucks under the body, etc. Then redraw your page from what you discover. I guarantee* you'll learn loads and see an immediate improvement.

Alternatively, if you have access to a 3D package (Max, Maya, Poser, etc) then setting up poses in them can be helpful as well, especially for extreme foreshortening or explosive action.

Or just take pictures of yourself. Lots of the pros do that.

*Not a guarantee. Worked for me**, though.

**In terms of improvement, I mean. There's still always a lot to learn.

[Jon]

Just out of interest, does anyone have any facts and figures for the success rate of sending in sample scripts and strips from pretty much cold? It's interesting that 2000AD is still using a postal method when the majority of places* seem now to operate online submission policies that allow them to reject my stuff in a fraction of the time.

Don't get me wrong, I can see the convenience from an editorial point of view, especially with a publication that attracts a certain type of enthusiast that really wants to contribute to it quite often looooooong before they are ready**; a way of controlling the deluge. It's not a complaint; I always wanted to draw for the comic, practiced my art and as a result got sidetracked somewhere along the way by something similar but different that paid me every month. Fifteen years later when I think I'll try again, big surprise, I haven't spent that time practising drawing comics. I concede it's kind of important. In the meantime I've come here and have been lucky enough to meet kind and talented people who throw scripts my way and other people*** who offer to publish the results. Seems a good use of my time, to be honest.

But my experience of selling artwork does predominantly come down to the cliched, "who you know" - or, perhaps more accurately, "who knows you". So I was wondering; worth pursuing this method? Or better to maybe do some small press, and then stalk people at conventions? Perhaps take a hostage? Anyone have any idea?

It probably won't change anything I do, but I'm really interested to know.

* This is largely assumption on my part, I haven't carried out an exhaustive survey. I've mostly just applied to the places (like Wizards of the Coast) that do online submission 'cos it's more convenient, and the post office is always really busy at the times I can go****.

**I very firmly include myself in this category. I drew one of the sample scripts, got very close to it, a bit over-exciteable and then sent it off in a fit of enthusiasm. Then a week later I looked at it properly and cried. If I'd have been successful then I'd have lost all respect for Tharg.

***Who, it should be said, are equally kind and talented.

****Why is that? Are they always busy? Or do people just come out at lunchtime or before work. Many of them don't look like they work. Maybe they'd be better going at, I don't know, 3pm or something. That's what I'd do if I could. Are post offices busy at 3pm?

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Or better to maybe do some small press, and then stalk people at conventions?

I'd have ye in one of my comics, lad! Although we don't pay. Well I do, but only in cider!

[Jon]

Well, thank you! I'm enjoying the small press stuff immensely. If it wasn't for the mortgage, that's all I'd do.

Alcohol is always a valid form of negotiation, of course.

[Emperor]

So I was wondering; worth pursuing this method? Or better to maybe do some small press, and then stalk people at conventions? Perhaps take a hostage? Anyone have any idea?

Or option e) All of the above. Especially the hostage bit.

Firing off an attempt at a sample script is a good first start but as it is being sent in cold, you'd need something a bit special to help you stand out. So you also need to get your work out there - get a DeviantArt account, submit work to the small press, attend a convention if you can and chat with editors, chat to the pros and see what they think. As well as skill you need persistence and luck, but you can help the latter along.

[Batdan4ever]

Hi all, I'm new here, just thought I would join the party and post some pics. Gotta say I'm really impressed by all the talent on these boards!
Here is my version of the Cycle of Violence script which I did last year... its not a brilliant piece of work but it was my first attempt at sequential pages, I think I am getting better now as I am working on a new sample script and trying to correct the flaws from this one. That said, all comments and criticisms are most welcome!

Cheers!
Dan

Cover idea and pages 1-3






[Emp edit: Fixing third image]

[Emperor]

Welcome. Nice idea to do a sample cover there - it works very nicely too.

A couple of quick thoughts:

That last panel on page 1 is the trickiest and might be one of the reasons this is a sample script, as it is a good test of an artist. It looks like the anatomy could do with a reworking, I don't believe there is an armpit strap for the shoulder pad (although it makes sense), Dredd wouldn't fire his weapon gangster-style,  and the gun needs work, as I seem to recall this is a flashback so needs the Lawgiver Mk 1:

www.2000ad.org/images/tek/lawgiver.jpg

In the last panel on page two you flank it with two blocks of black and with such a small amount of room to play with I don't think you can afford to "waste" the space (unless the script calls for it and makes allowances for it). This would then free up more space for a proper shot of the Academy of Law in the second panel as that view doesn't really help the less knowledgeable reader (where the big shield saying "Academy of Law" rather drives the point home ).

Also the question of chainlinks comes up here occasionally (although usually in jest these days) and while I'd not normally worry about it too much 5 (or possibly 6) looks a little too short.

Anyway good effort - keep at it.