Attempts at the sample scripts

[Bubba Zebill]

I only just dug this up, don't recall seeing it before. Love the sense of space in the overhead opening page, very light ...and suggestive of an 'out of body' experience...to my warped mind anyway, like mum is looking back with you.

[Bubba Zebill]

Like the palpable sense of horror on that boys face in p1...I like also the tight, coiled up Klein, plotting revenge on his bed, sense he's ready to spring. Do you plan to ink it Nick?

[Jayson]

I also tried to put in shots of windows into the panels behind Klein, to suggest the world beyond. But the windows are usually viewed through slits, as if the world is something he cannot quite connect with or reach - like a prison.

Those are all smart choice IMO. In some ways it's a drag that so many artists have worked from the same script but the great thing is that we can see so unique versions of that same story.

I know what you mean. It was very interesting having had drawn my version then stumbling across this thread and seeing everyone else's and how different they are. For example in the page you just posted I like the open space of your stand off - total contrast to what I did but both work in their own ways.

[Bubba Zebill]

I also tried to put in shots of windows into the panels behind Klein, to suggest the world beyond. But the windows are usually viewed through slits, as if the world is something he cannot quite connect with or reach - like a prison.

Those are all smart choice IMO. In some ways it's a drag that so many artists have worked from the same script but the great thing is that we can see so unique versions of that same story.

I know what you mean. It was very interesting having had drawn my version then stumbling across this thread and seeing everyone else's and how different they are. For example in the page you just posted I like the open space of your stand off - total contrast to what I did but both work in their own ways.

Just to be clear, I should point out this is the work of Adrian BAmforth...I posted it because I was trawling back over the thread to see what I'd missed and discovered it.

[James]

I still don't get how Ade Bamforth hasn't done loads more for 2000ad. I've always liked his work.

[Emperor]

Hey guys, sorry to ruin the flow of this conversation but I was wondering if anyone could have a look at the version that I did of pages 2 and 3 and give me some critical feedback.  It would be much appreciated.  Thanks guys!

I suspect you'll need to ink them first, as that is how Tharg will see them too - it is only possible to give rough feedback on pencilled pages like that.

[allistermac]

Judge Dredd - Cycle Of Violence: Revised Pages 4, 5 & 6

I have finally finished revising the last 3 pages of my submission. I'm a lot happier with them now, the feedback on this forum has been a great help and any further comments are welcomed and appreciated.

[Jon]

Great, there are some really nice bits in there. Really nice black to white ratio.

Can I just say, though, the fact that his hand isn't reflecting in the mirror on the last page is really bothering me.

Sorry.

I'll go now.

[pauljholden]

Hey guys, sorry to ruin the flow of this conversation but I was wondering if anyone could have a look at the version that I did of pages 2 and 3 and give me some critical feedback.  It would be much appreciated.  Thanks guys!

I suspect you'll need to ink them first, as that is how Tharg will see them too - it is only possible to give rough feedback on pencilled pages like that.

Sorry, Nick - like the emperor said, rally need to see full inks to properly comment. I can never judge my own pencils for completeness until they're inked, so don't take that as a bad sign...

[MenschMaschine]

A lot of brilliant stuff there, Stahl, particularly the Dredd and Slaine paintings. I dig the sample script - probably the only thing I'd mention is that here and there figures look too staged - in Panel 2 there's seems to be a lack of "movement" of "motion" in the characters. I like it, though!

Cheers!!! Yeah,i know what you mean,it's quite a tricky situation, based on the character's personalities one might try to give'em a specific body expression,like,the muscle barbarian type ought to walk and behave in a very stiff way a sort of opposite from lighter and athletic characters. It's a thin line which once dealing with it in a heavy hand fashion, one can get the lack of movement you said....i'll try to fine tune this in the future.
Now just for the sake of it,my second attempt at Cycle of violence script.
http://brunostahl.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4rtm6p
page 5
http://brunostahl.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4vobbm

[MenschMaschine]

I'm planning to send  Tharg the both stories, Cycle of violence and Tales of Telguuth though i still unsure whether is a good idea or not. A huge package might well be unproductive,but i simply can't decide for one of those. Any thoughts?

[Mardroid]

I'm planning to send  Tharg the both stories, Cycle of violence and Tales of Telguuth though i still unsure whether is a good idea or not. A huge package might well be unproductive,but i simply can't decide for one of those. Any thoughts?

I would concentrate on just one.  Make it as good as it can be. (I'm a writer rather than an artist but I think this works for both.)

If you get a job out of it, all well and good. If not, you can always send in the second strip, reworked according to feedback.

[stoat]

Hi Guys
I know this script has been done countless times
This is my first attempt at sequentials, and generally drawing anything for many years.
I understand 2000ad prefers finished inks, but I'm not quite there yet.
If anyone is able to provide any crits or advice I  would it really helpful and greatly appreciate it.
Many thanks

[a chosen rider]

Not really qualified to give a more technical critique, but I have to say I really like your characters' faces!    They've got a lot of expression and character, and you've done a great job making Klein look like the same person at different ages.

[stoat]

Thanks for the feedback Chosen rider,
Using freckles may have been cheating somewhat in achieving consistancy!