Attempts at the sample scripts

[Bubba Zebill]

This page really works (I've not looked at the script so not sure what you refer to with the text)... but this looks like it's all of of a one, it flows well, it's dramatic. At some point further development in any art from can only come from doing it and you're certainly doing it... so now just keep doing it!

I'm not sure but I think this has the best flow of what you've shown (IMO)...but I'm going to go back and look again.

All the best!

[Steven Austin]

This page really works (I've not looked at the script so not sure what you refer to with the text)... but this looks like it's all of of a one, it flows well, it's dramatic. At some point further development in any art from can only come from doing it and you're certainly doing it... so now just keep doing it!

I'm not sure but I think this has the best flow of what you've shown (IMO)...but I'm going to go back and look again.

All the best!

Thanks Bubba - my only worry - and you haven't mentioned it so I assume it is evident - is that the fella in the 4th panel is pulled from the sack Kahn is carrying. I suppose in fact that once text was added it would quash that.
This page is basically Kahn, who having entered the bar and found the pirate captain he seeks, sits himeslf down whilst helping himself to the captains booze. Kahn recounts a story of riches aboard a ship which is protected by sea demons controlled by a magician and an amulet. The pirate captain dismisses Kahn's claim that he will raid the ship as madness, until that is Kahn produces the magician and amulet from his sack at which point the captain, laughing, agrees to assist.

[Jon]

Thought I'd have a (second) stab at this. Because I'm an optimist.

[Steven Austin]

Thought I'd have a (second) stab at this. Because I'm an optimist.

This is great mate - seen the first page on FB but the rest is great - love the facial expressions and movement, very animated.
If I were to offer any constructive criticism it would be about Panel 5 on page 2, the guy looks as though he is sitting in the toilet and not on it and Panel 7 on page 3 I think his right arm looks awkward, I think the reason is that in that position his right shoulder would be higher than his left.

Awesome work sir!!! ONWARDS!!!

[Jon]

Thanks Steven, you're very kind.

And right. Dammit.

I changed one of those panels. I'll get round to the other soon (though it's already had two redraws, so, y'know... 

Thanks for the feedback.

[Steven Austin]

Here's page 2 of my next submission - inked....finally!! Feedback please!!

[Jon]

I wish I was better at the critical stuff. Looks really good to me.

Final three pages for me. Probably. Until tomorrow morning when I look again, no doubt.

[Steven Austin]

I wish I was better at the critical stuff. Looks really good to me.

Final three pages for me. Probably. Until tomorrow morning when I look again, no doubt.

Nailed it mate - love that last page - works very well for me. Love the humour, think you've captured it really well.  Til tomorrow!?

[Bubba Zebill]

Well done!

[CLOUDMAN]

Anyone having a crack at the Thought Bubble contest script this year?

[Steven Austin]

Here's my page 3 of the Telgaath script.

As always feedback would be appreciated.

[trev]

[trev]

[CrazyFoxMachine]

2000ad don't want sample scripts sent lettered, as is my understanding, and the credit box and that isn't provided by the artist.

Nice individual panels and some good manic energy but looks unfinished - especially the last panel, the flow of the page is a bit confused.

and again, that Lawgiver is massive

[trev]

@CrazyFoxMachine, you are right...it's not finished...