Bar room brawl

[Proudhuff]

Dang Blast! They went thataway boys! Yeeeha!

Proudhuff swings from the  wagon wheel chandler and kicks Trout in the snout, lands on the bar and chugs half a bottle o whisky before the barman smacks him with the butt of a shotgun.  

[Tiplodocus]

Tips steps in to try and calm things down...

"Come on Trout, I'm sure Satanist didn't realise you were a Trout when he made that last joke..."

Tips is then kicked in the face by Proudhuff as he swinsg by on the chandelier and goes flying out of the window and lands in the Horse Trough just outside.


Swoosh

Thud

Tinkle

SPlash

[Roger Godpleton]

Roger decides to harness the awesome power of racism against those leeching Scot reprobates and begins whacking Trout & co. with a poisoned haggis.

[Mikey]

Mikey strides in, spurs a janglin'. Through his cigar smoke, he tips back his godarn black hat, looks at Trout and growls...

"Ain't this the same as yore Have A Square Go thread? Ya slack jawed creek freak."

...before kickin o'er that thar table!Yessir he's a bad 'un!

M(osey)

[Proudhuff]

Roger decides to harness the awesome power of racism against those leeching Scot reprobates and begins whacking Trout & co. with a poisoned haggis.

ya wee scunner!

[johnnystress]

There's a plonky-plony song being played on the piano,

That's pian-Oh!

 ah sayed play me some pian-EE!

[Satanist]

With two acres in hand Satanist hobbles off to the corner. Hiding behind an upturned table he launches a now half full spittoon into the battle...

[W. R. Logan]

3 miles away Logan takes aim, at 1,640 metres per second this APFSDS with a depleted uranium tip will reach them in under 2 seconds.

You see, in this world, there's two kinds of people, my friends. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You lot dig.

[Kerrin]

We'll be diggin' yer new home on Boot Hill soldee boy.  Weeeeee doggedy!  KPOW!  KPOW!

Now where'd you shitkickers keep yer whooooers. Killin' a man makes me feel like courtin'.

[Old Tankie]

Logan, I prefer HESH myself!!!

[JayzusB.Christ]

Right, that's it.  I'm going to walk right into that town and kill every living person there, drinking whiskey from a hip flask.  When the last dying guy on the floor tries weakly to shoot me, I will notice him in time then shoot him, before riding away on my horse with the place in flames from burning liquor.

(c) Ennis Industries Ltd.  Do not reproduce in any form, printed or digital, before outcome of pending lawsuit from Eastwood Productions Ltd.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

CF arrives at the same time Tiplodocus lands on his horse, a quick double tap to his head puts him out of his misery.
He then moves over to the door and peeks inside to see the riot that is going on and ignites two flash bangs. Moments later as all the scum are stunned he moves in for the kill. There is a large melee right in front of him, everyone looking dazed and confused. As he keeps his distance he calmly opens fire with precision shots, careful not to waste too many rounds. As this group starts to dwindle he notices The Cosh pissed as a fart at the bar and throws his commando knife at his forehead. On impact he drops his bottle, loosens his bowels and slowly crumples to the floor with his head resting in the spitoon. His final gasps for breath making frothy bubbles in the saliva!
CF finishes off the main group and focuses his attention upon a wild hairy looking man stood by the window howling at the moon. Peterwolf hasn't noticed anything happening due to him being transfixed by the nocturnal vision and CF moves up close behind him and in one swift move decapitates him with his machete.
On turning around CF notices that Daveycavendish has finally noticed that the Can Can has finished and started to stand up. Before he gets fully erect (fnar, fnar) CF rushes him and shoulder charges him into His Lordship rac who is holding a Bowie knife at chest height. Whilst Davey is impaled on the knife CF headbutts rac who falls backwards onto the bloodsoaked, sawdust covered floor. CF place's his left boot upon Davey's chest keeping rac pinned to the floor and aims his sig at the head of rac. Rac starts to plead for his life but only manages to say "pl" before he meets his maker.
At this moment Kerrin and King Trout rush CF from both sides, just as they are about to grab hold of CF he dives over the two bodies underneath him. The two drunks impact into each other with a dull thud and fall onto of rac and Davey unconcious. Quickly CF grabs hold of each of their heads and with a swift well rehearsed move snaps their necks and sends them on the way to hell.
Continued on next post.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

CF scans the room for anyone left alive and sees The Satanist sat in a corner near the piano trying to light a fag. As CF approaches he picks up a bottle of whiskey and slowley pours it all over his head. He bends down and looks into his bloodshot eyes and sees pure hatred which makes his job all the more enjoyable. With a swift flick of his zippo The Satanist flashes into an orange fireball.
With his job done CF leaves the bar and moves onto the next bar.

By the way Logan was taken out 3 hours ago, he was feeling a wee bit sick in his coffin on wheels and went outside to relieve himself only to be relieved of his life by a sharp blade entering the base of his skull and moving upwards with a twist.

[zombemybabynow]

as wayne sleep so famously said, 'get off your horse and drink your milk'

[Proudhuff]

Tips is then kicked in the face by Proudhuff as he swinsg by on the chandelier and goes flying out of the window and lands in the Horse Trough just outside.

 

In an attempt to avoid CF, Proudhuff uses a straw to stay under water in the Horse trough