Messages

You have to admire the guys behind Highlander II in a way; it certainly can't be easy to make a movie entirely out of pants.

But here's what really, really bugged me about that movie: Everything.

And on top of that, what's the deal with the electric swords? Any time one sword even *touches* off another one there's a great big shower of sparks.

And let's not forget that wonderful plot...

MacLeod: "Oh no! I'm in trouble! Ramirez!"

Ramirez: "Hooray, I'm back from the dead all of a sudden. That's handy. Oh no, I'm dead again and I didn't even do anything except grin smugly and stop a giant turbo fan using my hitherto-unmentioned 'giant turbo fan stopping abilities.'"

Highlander II even beats Batman & Robin in the number of "Oh for f*ck's sake!" moments.

-- Mike
13 years after Highlander II and still pissed off about it.

My wife just went "awwwww!" at the photo... I'm getting worried!

Then again, I just went "awwww!" too...

Congratulations to all the eyebrowses! Have you signed young Charlotte up for a subscription yet? Remember: the younger they start, the longer they remain loyal!

Best of luck,
Mike and Mike's Wife

Poor, deluded Rac! Don't you know your Rimmer from your Lister? Shame on you!

And anyway, the first few seasons of Red Dwarf were brilliant, and I can prove it: it's true. See?

-- Mike

Yay! I'm so happy! I've always believed that I was the only one who was able to see that Only Fools and Horses isn't funny! How many more years are we going to have to put up with Rodney being called a plonker, Del-boy using the wrong words, plotlines taken directly from the writer's collection of Jan Harold Brunvand books?

Didn't like Coupling for a long time, but then I caught a couple of episodes that were close to brilliant. Mostly because they focussed on Jeff. On the downside, it features far too much in the way of "Oh no! You broke the 'not drinking red wine on the third date' rule!" and all that.

I like Father Ted, but my enthusiasm it's dampened because the bloody thing is ALWAYS on, and it's always the same episode "Entertaining Father Stone". Also, it doesn't help that Father Jack is a one-note joke.

Other crap:
My Hero
My Family
The Jasper Carrot one (even if it does have Nina Wadia in it)
Hi-de-hi (sweet zombie Jesus, what were they thinking when that was commissioned?)
Are You Being Served?
Only When I Laugh (I didn't)
Red Dwarf's last season

Favourite sitcoms:
Fawlty Towers
Dinnerladies
The Goodies
The Office


- Mike

Is it just me, or does Luke have all his priorities wrong in Episode IV?...

His aunt and uncle, who have raised him from a wee space-nipper, are murdered and all he can do is look a little sad. Yet when Ben is killed Luke completely loses it... Even though he's only known Ben for a few hours.

Perhaps it'll all be explained in a couple of years' time when there's a new super-special director's edition, the one where they digitally replace Chewie with everyone's favourite incomprehensible sidekick, Jar Jar Binks.

-- Mike

Sorry, I was going to post something here but accidentally clicked "Post Message" before I was ready. And now I can't remember what I was going to sayt! But it was probably quite brilliant anyway.

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> In a disgraceful bit of self promotion, I hereby return this to the top of the board.

Frankly, I find that sort of behaviour completely reprehensible! Rac, you should be ashamed of yourself!

I've committed and endured a lot of public speaking over the years, so here's my top tip...

Keep it short! At my cousin's wedding the best man droned on for over an hour. He seemed to think that if a joke didn't get a laugh it required a lengthy explanation.

One of the best-received lines I've heard was from my dad at my sister's wedding: He finished up with, "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet!"

--Mike

Little known fact: The reason George's horse 'Star Wars' died was from perforated intestines caused by sharp wooden splinters: George kept the horse's food in a large wooden barrel, and sadly never noticed when the barrel was empty.

All this reminds me of an old joke:

Two IRA men are on a hillside waiting to ambush a British Army patrol, which is due to pass by at noon.

Well, noon comes and there's no sign of the patrol.

One o'clock, and there's still no sign of them.

Two o'clock crawls around, and one IRA man turns to the other and says, "God, they're awful late. I hope nothing's happened to them."

By "de one in October" do you mean Octocon, the convention at which Paul J. Holden, Gordon Rennie and Matt Smith (the Mighty Tharg) will be appearing?

-- Mike "shameless plug" Carroll

Link: http://www.octocon.com" target="_blank">Octocon 2004

Hooray! My second-ever piece of work published in 2000 AD! Okay, so it's only an ad for Octocon, and I didn't draw the pic of Tharg, nor did I create the logos fo Octocon or The 3rd Place, but even so...

Link: http://www.octocon.com" target="_blank">Octocon

On rare occasions I wander around the house with my eyes closed... Been doing this ever since I was a kid and somehow developed an irrational fear of going blind.

On the same note, I also - occasionally - attempt to do things using only my left hand; getting dressed, going for a wee, typing, etc.  This all started when I was about twelve and my Dad broke his right hand and had to learn to do everything with his left. As it turned out, HE'S ambidextrous!

- Mike

My female nom-de-plume is Jaye Carroll... You can read lots about my books on my website, link below!

-- Mike

Link: http://www.iol.ie/~carrollm" target="_blank">Mike's Website