RESULTS THREAD - The Greatest Story Never Told (27th Forum Story Comp)

[Lady Festina]

Happy New Year to you all and profuse apologies for not publishing the results thread for our last comp before the merriment of Christmas kicked in....

Our last theme was The Greatest Story Never Told, your chance to tell the tale you wish would be published by 2000AD. We had a fine mix of action, adventure, comedy and filth, as ever. And here, in reverse order, are the results......:

[Lady Festina]

In 3rd place, working his way up the rankings, it's:

Eamon 1961, with The Reclaimer: Part one

When I look back at my past, it's like looking at somebody else's life. I used to be so many different people. I guess we all did.

There was that young girl back on earth, the one obsessed with the clothes she wore. The biggest problem she had to deal with was shopping, or some freaky cult. That girl is gone now.

So is the young woman who worked as a waitress on a starship. She danced with a fairy tale Prince, saved a King, slayed a Dragon, and met someone really important, I just can't remember who that was.

The woman who went to war is gone too. Amidst all the blood and the horrors she found the most precious thing in the universe, and then she threw it away.

After the warrior there were other women: the slave, the gladiator, the rebel. And then, for a short while, the Queen. That woman killed a man, and as she did so she killed something else inside herself.

All those women are dead now. There's just me. My future self will probably call me a pirate, but I'm just doing a job. I have this ship and my crew. People pay us to go someplace, find something or someone, and then take them somewhere else. I do things that others won't do, but when you've fought in a forgotten war nothing seems that hard any more.

I wish I could find that young girl from the Hoop. I'd like to talk to her and tell her some stuff, maybe warn her, maybe tell her what to watch out for. But I can't, she's dead. They're all dead now.

My name is Halo Jones.

I went out, and I'm still out there.

Somewhere ... somewhen.

[Lady Festina]

In a very close 2nd place, it's yet another podium for:

Alski, with Too Much Thrill Power

"Drokk!" said Dredd, spittle spraying from his mouth and hitting Hershey square in the eye. "Stomm!" he added for good measure, managing, against the odds, to get the other eye.

"Feck!" said Judge Murphy, who was feeling left out since Garth Ennis has stopped writing Dredd.

"I think we could be in trouble, Joe," breathed Hershey sexily, wiping her eyes.

"No shit, Fleshy Ones!" said Call-Me -Kenneth, who had forgotten he was dead.

In front of them was The Portal, so large it deserved capital letters. It had appeared a few hours ago, and Justice Department had surrounded it, unable to get near it due to a very technical thing that shall not be detailed.

"Hurr hurrr", said Fergee, not to be confused with Fergie, a film character for whom no death could be slow or painful enough.

"Cwipes!" said Walter The Wobot, who was still shit and one 'Massah' away from being a negro slave caricature.

"Where are all these dead people coming from?" asked Hershey, wiggling her bottom.

"It's The Portal," explained a Tech Judge smarmily. Dredd punched him.

"We know that, Hawking! How is it doing it? And who is THAT?"

Whilst Tech Judge Hawking launched into an incredibly technical explanation, Marshall Law walked out of The Portal. He had barbed wire round his arms and looked quite pervy.

"I'm a hero hunter," he explained. "I haven't found any yet."

Dredd shot him. In the balls.  Pat Mills cried a bit.

The flow of interesting characters increased, with the ABC Warriors, Bill Savage, Bonjo From Beyond The Stars, M.A.C.H 1, the Visible Man, Halo Jones, the Dark Judges,  The Harlem Heroes, Bec & Kawl, Dan Dare,, D.R & Quinch, Ro-Busters, Torquemada, Nemesis The Warlock, Carver Hale, The VC's, Big Dave, Those twats from Vector 13, the cowboy fellas from Flesh, Finn, Sinister and Dexter, Harry Twenty, Nick Stone, Sam Slade, Samantha Slade, Rogue Trooper, the OTHER Rogue Trooper, Dirty Frank, Durham Red (phwoar!), Johnny Alpha...

Basically, EVERY character that has EVER appeared in 2000AD.  How ARSOM is that!

"Bollocks to this," said Brian Bolland. "I told you I hate crowd scenes, I'm pissing off to America to make a packet drawing Animal Man covers."

And so the greatest 2000AD story EVER was left untold.

Awww....

[Lady Festina]

Our Honourable Mention this time goes to bbgunn.

And the winner, making an emphatic comeback to the comp, it's the one and only:

Richmond Clements with The VCs: Dropping a Bomb

Smith ducked his head down below the rim of the crater again.

The energy blots from the geek weapons impacted on the dirt at the. Red hot soil pattered onto his helmet. The noise briefly made him think of Earth, of home. Of rain showers. Of birds. How long had it been since he had heard a bird singing? Or listened to a river? No time for that now. And if he wanted to see Earth again, he'd better shape up, and quick.

He tried his comms. Still no signal.

Maybe just as well. If Jupe and the others knew he'd been caught like this...

Clunk

His reverie was interrupted by the squat, grey object that had just landed in the crater. A green light was flashing on the side. Grenade.

Smith didn't have time to think. He thumbed the control for his jump pack. He could feel the heat from the afterburners on the backs of his legs. His stomach lurched as he shot into the sky just ahead of the white hot plasma ball unleashed by the geek grenade. The filters on his lenses darkened to almost pitch black to compensate.

He turned in mid-air, riding the wall of heat.

Smith cast his eyes downwards looking for – ah, there. The Geek patrol who had caught him short. He still had his gun in his hand, of course.

Smith pitched, bringing himself around.

The Geeks hadn't seen him take off, he reckoned, as they were still looking at the crater.

Big mistake. Underestimating a VC.

Smith swooped, depressing the trigger on his weapon as he did so. Bullets ploughed through the first two Geeks, turning them into mush instantly. The final two had just enough time to figure out what had happened. One of them looked up at him. It managed to dive out of the way of the shots, but the other one died.

Smith landed, he didn't have time to act before the Geek ran at him, screaming something he didn't understand and waving a long, curved blade. The blade fell, Smith sidestepped. And just in time. He felt the whisper of the blade as it brushed his leg.

Another swing, another dodge. The damned thing wasn't giving him time to left his weapon.

Smith kicked out as the Geek moved towards him again, contacting painfully with its leg. He felt his toe crack. But it worked. The Geek paused in the assault long enough for Smith to lift his gun.

"You're vaped," Smith said and fired, cutting the Geek clean in half.

Smith took a moment to get his breath back, before returning to the crater.

He was relieved to see his boots and trousers were still there and relatively unscathed. Just a bit of crisping at the edge.

He pulled them on, cursing his stupidity again, and promising that the next time he needed a crap, he'd choose a more secluded spot.

[Lady Festina]

Congrats to Richmond, Alski, Eamon and bb.

We'll have a new theme up and running shortly, but in the meantime, if anyone would like to have a go at running the comp, please let me know. What with trying to write comics, publish them, have a day job etc etc, I'm starting to get a little behind (fnarr). The Comp doesn't take much time to manage, but it does need someone who can spend more time on the Forum promoting it around.... Let me know if you're interested - I'll keep going until someone steps into the breach :-)

[Bolt-01]

Congrats one and all!

[Richmond Clements]

Ohhhh! Thank you all!
Do I have to pick the next subject?

[Eamonn Clarke]

Well done, all.
Looking forward to the next one and thanks to Lady Festina for organising