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Author Topic: From the mouth of babes...  (Read 2550 times)

The Enigmatic Dr X

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From the mouth of babes...
« on: 20 July, 2015, 07:58:03 PM »
My five year got a new toy: a forma-trans.

We have tried to correct him, but with the earnest contempt and innocence of a child he patiently explains:

"No, daddy, it's not a transformer."
« Last Edit: 20 July, 2015, 08:00:58 PM by The Enigmatic Dr X »
Lock up your spoons!

DaveGYNWA

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #1 on: 20 July, 2015, 09:35:41 PM »
Gotta love 'em.

I'm currently dealing with both my girls (5 + 6) singing 'Uptown Funk' all the time....but missing a letter out. I wish it was 'Uptow Funk' but it's not.
Peas sell. But who's Brian?

TordelBack

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #2 on: 21 July, 2015, 01:28:18 AM »
For years my eldest inexlicably referred to the large gun* wielded by one of his Clone Wars trooper figures as a 'sucklaser'.  It was only on a repeat viewing of Season 1 that the selfsame gun-toting character (Jek, maybe?) uttering the defiant phrase 'suck laser, clankers!' finally registered.


*I believe it is technically an underslung rotary carbine blaster.

JamesC

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #3 on: 21 July, 2015, 09:39:10 AM »
Sucklaser is a pretty cool name for a weapon though.

Link Prime

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #4 on: 21 July, 2015, 09:58:24 AM »
Sucklaser is a pretty cool name for a weapon though.

Lets hope someone involved in the creation of Fallout 4 frequents this forum.

Satanist

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #5 on: 21 July, 2015, 01:30:51 PM »
My eldest was a very polite toddler who would always attempt to say "thankyou" except it came out as "fack you". It always got strange looks and got to the point where my mates would always bring him a wee pressie and the local shop keeper always gave him a sweet just so they could hear him say it.

The first time my youngest was on a train he loudly proclaimed that a rather large passenger was "the fat controller". That time I just stared out the window crying with laughter trying to pretend I wasn't with him.
Hmm, just pretend I wrote something witty eh?

SuperSurfer

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #6 on: 21 July, 2015, 02:04:30 PM »
Many moons ago… my younger bro, while scoffing a banana:

"Hmm, we haven't had bananas since."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Bro: "We haven't had bananas since!"
Me: "What do you mean we haven't had bananas since?! We haven't had bananas since when?!"
Bro: "We haven't had bananas since we last had them!"
Me:  :crazy:

DaveGYNWA

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #7 on: 21 July, 2015, 02:51:01 PM »
Just remembered one from Alice (the now 5 year old) back at Easter. They were learning about Jesus and all that and the resurrection came up, as you'd expect.

One of her teachers advised us that Alice came out with "So was Jesus a zombie then?" - I'm bringing the girl up right.
Peas sell. But who's Brian?

The Enigmatic Dr X

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #8 on: 21 July, 2015, 07:32:22 PM »
Told the forma-trans story in work today, and got this gem in reply:

Many years ago, on Easter Sunday, my colleague's mother had the family over for dinner. Aunts, uncles, cousins. The lot.

She's in the kitchen, peeling carrots, and watching all the cousins play in the garden through the window.

Suddenly, she sees the boys parade past - holding one of them alof a cross made from planks of wood taken from the garage. She runs out to put a stop to such nonsense but is too late - the cross topples forward and the unfortunate Jesus lands face first. Unable to put out his hands, the little chap smears his face across the patio losing teeth and breaking his nose.

There's a family inquest while Jesus is taken to hospital.

"Why on earth did you tie his hands to the cross?" one irate uncle demands.

After much trembling of lips, my colleague replies "s...s...sorry, we looked but couldn't find any nails."
Lock up your spoons!

TordelBack

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #9 on: 21 July, 2015, 07:46:44 PM »
That's pretty much the best story I've ever heard. Well done Dr X's colleague!

DaveGYNWA

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #10 on: 21 July, 2015, 10:22:12 PM »
That's gold.
Peas sell. But who's Brian?

Hawkmumbler

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #11 on: 22 July, 2015, 09:16:36 AM »
This just further cements my belief that all children are the anti-christ. Good for a few laughs at least!

Dredd Head

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #12 on: 22 July, 2015, 05:23:03 PM »
I have a 4 yo daughter and recently found out me and my partner are excpecting again and as you can imagine she was ecstatic. So we asked her if she would like a brother or sister, she just looked us dead in the eyes and said "Dad it doesn't work like that   :o

SuperSurfer

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #13 on: 23 July, 2015, 02:11:11 PM »
A friend of mine when young, was watching television while her baby sister was being born upstairs in their family home.

A relative came down and asked her if she wants to go and see her new baby sister.

She replied: "Yeah, when Top Cat finishes."

von Boom

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Re: From the mouth of babes...
« Reply #14 on: 23 July, 2015, 03:29:44 PM »
Some funny stuff here, but I keep waiting for this thread to devolve into something supermodels say thread. Which could be equally hilarious/cringeworthy.  :)