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Hey, I will go to bat for Transformers 3 - it's not as terrible as Transformers 2.
It's far, far too long, though, and I am not even joking when I say that losing the slow motion would solve that problem.


Also, it's hard to blame the actress for that performance as she isn't actually an actress, she's an underwear model Bay took a shine to.

I like geetar grinding and stomp metal as much as anyone, but in a prehistorical epic type fillum that musical choice brings entirely the wrong kind of atmosphere to the material.  Don't get me wrong, I wish that every sword and sorcery movie could be Kull The Conqueror - I'm sure we all do - but the fantasy genre has of late been salvaged from being all about guitar-scored mid-80s low-budget post-apocalyptic kung-fu nonsense for the better.  In trying to appeal to a mainstream audience with that trailer it comes across as a bit low-rent and dumbassed.

[X-Men First Class]

I thought X-Men First Class wasn't too good and I'm alone in that, so that means that most of you can look forward to really liking Green Lantern because I thought it was a fucking terrible film.  Ryan Renolds doesn't do any of his usual smartass schtick and comes off as charmless, there's a painful lack of comedy or wit to the script, the big baddie is a space octopus made of smoke and fear that actually looks good in one or two bits but they don't know what to do with it, and there's no character arc to speak of to make this anything other than a collection of videogame intro scenes strung together - is Hal afraid and needs to conquer fear to beat the octopus?  If so, why does the octopus still affect him?  And why [spoiler]kill it in the sun?[/spoiler]  That's just a big asplosion, they could have killed it from afar by shooting a space nuke at it if that was the case, but earlier in the film there's no clear indication that the space octopus is a physical entity that can be sun-asploded, he's supposed to be made of smoke that comes from people when they're ascared.  And what's with the Leader from the Hulk?  He destroys a top secret military base that he's being held in by the US military and murders servicemen and a US senator, gets beaten by Green lantern and then... he goes back to his apartment, gets into bed and goes to sleep?  WHAT?

Writers have shown you can make this material interesting, or at least animators have as recently as the last couple of years proven you can do a half-decent Green Lantern origin story, but this film... man, this film bites dick.  They want really bad for the lead to be their Tony Stark but there's no levity or charm in the character and he just comes off as vapor, the script is everywhere, and it just comes off as something you want to hate or pity.  I can't believe so many people were involved in making something this sub-par, but here we are.

But like I say, I hated X-Men, so y'all might like this anyway.

They should have everyone who has anything to do with the production of those films tarred, feathered and shot.. Except for the grips. They don't know any better..

"I was only doing what I was told.  I didn't know the big picture" didn't work at the Nuremberg trials, Mike.

[as]

Wouldn't rewrites dilute the original writer's contribution and royalty payments?  Seems a douchebag move to me, and while I take the point about the text being a bit dated for kids, as a period piece it stands up a lot more than the likes of current kiddie books like Marvel Heroes' dialogue: "Captain Britain, fancy meeting you here while I'm looking for criminals in this abandoned fairgroun- arrgh!"  Painful stuff, but it at least shows you can get away with older strips if that's what passes muster these days - you likely wouldn't even have to put the reprint material in context as a period piece.  Colouring would be the main concern.  And coming up with polar bear-related free gifts for the cover.

Dark Judges would be far too camp for a sequel to something that's essentially Escape From New York/The Warriors/whatever, though the Apocalypse War could work easily by updating the factions involved.  Post-apocalypse Earth is gonna be pretty tight on resources, so it's not like there isn't an in-built rationale for a war.

Personally, I think a sequel would be best served avoiding the inevitable sequel trend of "bigger and louder" by going with some of the Wagner multi-parters that have cropped up over the years that concentrate on Dredd's role as a cop rather than a superhero, like that one where he's chasing down perps that turn out to be expectant parents fleeing an enforced abortion on a fetus with a genetic abnormality, or even Inferno, which was put together like a big dumb action movie anyway.

Despite the pedigree of the creatives, I just can't bring myself to invest in Fear Itself, though I didn't think why this might be so in the way GM has.  But yes, it does feel like a crossover for the sake of a crossover and Bucky really hasn't been around long enough for his death to have any real weight - which I say as a long time reader of Brubaker's Captain America.  Mind you, after Sentry got killed off I thought "so what?  Why do I care?" so I'm maybe missing something in these books that others see all too clearly.

On the subject of Soldier I remember reading somewhere that it was set in the same universe as Blade Runner (with the Tannhauser Gate ref) and Event Horizon as well as Aliens/Predator/Terminator. Apparently there is a Blade Runner spinner and a T-800 endoskeleton in the junkyard scenes, but I never looked that closely.

If you look at the main character's war record on the computer screen, you'll notice even more references, including refs to levels from the original Doom as past campaigns in which the soldiers were deployed.

A good thing, then, that I have proved it with science.

I was actually wondering what Scott Lobdel was doing these days - though for those without a dictionary handy I should point out that "wondering" and "caring" are not the same thing.

I intended to give up arguing this, but as the Smallville thread proved, Joe - you love it, you tart.  For the record, I'm not saying people aren't allowed to enjoy the movie, I'm just saying that it's a dumb film and liking it makes you worse than Hitler.

I'd guessed Fassbender was Irish, but that bit near the end is the only time his accent really slips onscreen.  I assume they shot that scene before others and he hadn't nailed the accent he used in the rest of the flick.  Well, that, or Fassbender was rendering a meta-commentary on the idea of Magneto at that point becoming a terrorist by using the language of terrorism - an Irish accent.

You're rephrasing - as negatively as possible - what's actually said to suit your argument.

I rephrase for humorous intent - clearly those words are not from the film.  I do however explain my point, and those words sum the matter up: Xavier tells Magneto to be the better man and forgive, yet fails to do just that himself when the time comes.
A dick and a hypocrite.

The bit I was referring to was Xavier's final action of the film, namely the memory wipe, demonstrating his lessening trust of humans.

I dunno... Superman did it, so can it really be that bad an action to take?  If Superman raped a nun I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

I'd need to see the film again, but given that Xavier didn't want Shaw killed and was also fully aware of the situation one presumes there was another option.

If there was, the script failed to enlighten us - it did however go out of its way to reinforce that Shaw needed to die.  Killing him was hardly the means to convincingly demonise Magneto, though his wobbler with the missiles and the fleets did at least offer further explanation - albeit one slightly marred by the presence of a teleporting chap and at least two people capable of flight.

Then ON YOUR HEAD BE IT.

Watched Teen Wolf.  Disappointingly, it's alright - what is the fucking world coming to when you can't rely on MTV programming to be terrible?

I'll let it go if you will.

If you mean Michael Rosenbaum, he shows up in the nonsensical shit sandwich season finale for a cameo.  And if you're wondering if we get to see Superman in costume in the final episode like the producers promised we would ten years ago - no.  We do not.

Nonetheless, I will miss Smallville.  It's the only tv show where every week I would watch it and think by the end "they will never make another episode anywhere near as bad as that" and I was wrong seven days later, for ten straight years.  You will doubtless read that and think "the Prof, he's being sarcastic there, he's not displaying true affection for the show" but you would be in error.  I miss it terribly and can only hope the new Teen Wolf show is even half as bad so I can use the phrase "I'm just a teenage furfag baby" in some way.  Small comfort, but it's all I have now.

Jason Aaron.  It'd be like getting a good Mark Millar.

Arguably, his faith in human nature is one of his redeeming features... and that is shown to be clearly diminished by the end the film as evidenced by his final action.

I agree if you mean that bit on the beach after he's been accidentally shot and needs to be the better man he keeps harping on at Magneto to be, yet instead gets on his high horse with a clearly repentant Magneto and tells him in no uncertain terms to go fuck himself, completely undermining any kind of moral authority he might have possessed until that point.  The entire movie he tells Magneto to get over it, yet when the shoe's on the other - now crippled - foot, it's "fuck you, buddy - NO FORGIVENESS!"

Also, Shaw couldn't be restrained because it wasn't the fact that he was free that made him a danger, it was the nuclear energy he'd stored and intended to release after having his natter with Magneto.  He was going to explode to kill as many people as he could and that's why he had to buy the farm.  Regardless of his motivations, Magneto had little choice in the matter.

His immediate and unconvincing heel turn after he leaves the sub and puts on an Irish accent, on the other hand?  I have no idea what prompted that.  He just does because he's Magneto and Magneto is the bad guy.