I don't know if I'm alone in thinking this, but sometimes I have to "trick myself" a little in order to get a bit of positivity.
For example, when my grandfather takes a walk through a forest which now has a highway close to it, with lots of cars hissing by, he likes to think it's the sound of a nearby creek where water is flowing. Instead of getting annoyed over the fact that he's listening to a bunch of cars.
As for myself my most used "trick" recently has been telling myself "He/she/they won." when I see something online which annoys me. For example when I see someone on twitter who is very wrong. Then I tell myself "This person won." and doing that I don't get angry one bit any longer. Essentially " winning nothing", since I'm not even bothered by what probably is the deed of some attention seeker.
How about you? Any tricks?
This has the ability to be an outstanding thread.
And it has given me some food for thought. Have I got any 'tricks'? Probably but it's difficult to convey them into words at this moment so I'm hoping that this thread will blossom and help me illuminate my own a bit further than just thoughts deep in my sub conscious.
I do sometimes think of what my goal is and whether my actions or words are progression towards that goal.
Derren Brown, in his books, has spoken quite considerably in this regard.
Looking forward to other people's input.
Good start Apestrife.
I find it completely impossible to trick myself into positivity - every attempt leads me into a spiral of 'be realistic' that only ends in self-condemnation. It's been a huge stumbling block to my efforts to sort out my head over the years. Every call for encouraging self-talk or positive visualisation ended with me feeling like a dishonest schmuck. And still does.
My CBT-inspired workaround, currently working most of the time, has been to instead take the negativity and put it behind me, leaving the ground in front of me clear and hopeful. It's not a trick, it's an acceptance of shit and an acknowledgement that what's done is done, and what matters now is what I do now and next. Most significantly this seems to cut through the shame-spiral that is what most frequently fucks me up. For someone who likes to dwell incessantly on past and present failures, and their likely direst consequences, this simple thing is a lot of constant and unending work - but worth it when it happens.
It's pretty appalling to think that it has taken me nearly 50 years to get even this far. But hey, that was then.
It's a really small thing but it helps me not get grumpy. If there's some reason I have to go and run an errand or walk further than I'd intended to, or even if I forgot something from upstairs and need to go and fetch it I can tell myself "at least it increases my step count for today", and I'm being that tiny little bit healthier even if its by accident.
I really need to find a way to 'trick' myself into sticking to my study plan. I've only 3 months left and two assignments and it's not been going as well as I would have liked this year, working full time, trying to maintain a social life and trying not to plummet into a depressive void will do that.
If ever I have to say in a hotel where there's a function on etc & therefore a lot of noise - I pretend I'm in a spaceship like red dwarf and the noise is the engineers doing maintenance
For me, living on my own in a small boat, I sometimes imagine that I've just left the WW1 trenches and stumbled across a place to sleep where I'm not knee-deep in mud and rats. Suddenly I realise that I live in the lap of luxury.
(Another one, courtesy of Paul McKenna, is to remember you ate one of the richest people who ever lived. That's not even a lie.)
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 07 July, 2019, 09:56:04 PM
(Another one, courtesy of Paul McKenna, is to remember you ate one of the richest people who ever lived. That's not even a lie.)
I also try to trick myself into thinking I'm Lemmy sometimes!
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 07 July, 2019, 09:56:04 PM
Another one, courtesy of Paul McKenna, is to remember you ate one of the richest people who ever lived. That's not even a lie.
https://youtu.be/d4O1A-mmBWw (https://youtu.be/d4O1A-mmBWw)
And now I have I Eat Cannibals playing in my head, so of course I have to share the earworm. Enjoy
I'm not sure if I'm tricking myself, but whenever I have to plaster a smile on for my managers or particularly daft clients I just try thinking about some funny bit of film or telly. Then I reward myself that day with a chippy. It's a wonder I'm not sporting a belly-wheel.
Quote from: I, Cosh on 07 July, 2019, 10:18:11 PM
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 07 July, 2019, 09:56:04 PM
(Another one, courtesy of Paul McKenna, is to remember you ate one of the richest people who ever lived. That's not even a lie.)
I also try to trick myself into thinking I'm Lemmy sometimes!
Oops!
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 08 July, 2019, 04:09:32 AM
Quote from: I, Cosh on 07 July, 2019, 10:18:11 PM
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 07 July, 2019, 09:56:04 PM
(Another one, courtesy of Paul McKenna, is to remember you ate one of the richest people who ever lived. That's not even a lie.)
I also try to trick myself into thinking I'm Lemmy sometimes!
Oops!
I spent ages googling that, trying to work out what you were on about! :lol:
Interesting topic - I'm sure we all have metal shot cuts or escapes that we go to - consciously or subconsciously.
As some of you know I've had heart issues and I'm sure a lot of it can be controlled mentally. Whether it's an anxiety thing I don't know but I've had palpitations that have gone away by me actively not focusing on them. I've mentioned this to my cardiologist who looked at me like I was mental. He clearly thinks it's all physiological but there is definitely a mental aspect. I'm not saying I have the Medusa Touch but I'm sure I could engineer a heart episode by thinking about it and similarly can turn one off by taking my mind to other places. Weird!
It's long been known that yogis and the like can control their heart rate/pressure and such by thinking about it. Quacks just don't like anyone muscling in on their turf.
It did sound like job security anxiety...
Get him to think away those too :)
Quote from: Dark Jimbo on 08 July, 2019, 09:00:15 AM
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 08 July, 2019, 04:09:32 AM
Quote from: I, Cosh on 07 July, 2019, 10:18:11 PM
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 07 July, 2019, 09:56:04 PM
(Another one, courtesy of Paul McKenna, is to remember you ate one of the richest people who ever lived. That's not even a lie.)
I also try to trick myself into thinking I'm Lemmy sometimes!
Oops!
I spent ages googling that, trying to work out what you were on about! :lol:
Not sure if that was for me or Cosh, but if it was me, I should probably explain myself - fecking autocorrect. You ARE one of the richest people who ever lived.
I find doing something nice for someone else takes me out of my own mindset for a bit. You know, making a colleague a cuppa, buying flowers for the missus, a nice present for someone, helping a mate with a random task, or even just being really considerate when out and about - holding doors open for folk in shops, giving up a bus seat for someone - whatever.
It works. It doesn't matter if your help or consideration is even noticed or appreciated - it just keeps anxiety, bad temper, and melancholy at bay.
Just my experience anyway.
Reasons, reasons = Day didn't start out the way I'd prefer, and things kept going in that direction... --So I took a walk. I walked till I wasn't irritated any longer, and then I mused because I felt a little irritated that I wasn't irritated any longer :D
Quote from: shaolin_monkey on 08 July, 2019, 11:47:25 PM
I find doing something nice for someone else takes me out of my own mindset for a bit. You know, making a colleague a cuppa, buying flowers for the missus, a nice present for someone, helping a mate with a random task, or even just being really considerate when out and about - holding doors open for folk in shops, giving up a bus seat for someone - whatever.
It works. It doesn't matter if your help or consideration is even noticed or appreciated - it just keeps anxiety, bad temper, and melancholy at bay.
Just my experience anyway.
I second that. Alot of things takes basically nothing. With some luck someone also starts holding up doors and so on.
I wonder at times if I'm just being stupid when I give way to someone whilst driving that really seems to need it. Does that small act of consideration, letting someone out when there is a long string of traffic for instance, actually make a difference? I just feel at times like a little bit of give might actually make someone's day a little better and that will knock on down the line. Kind of like the 'butterfly effect' of road etiquette.
Quote from: Apestrife on 07 July, 2019, 03:16:03 PM
I don't know if I'm alone in thinking this, but sometimes I have to "trick myself" a little in order to get a bit of positivity.
For example, when my grandfather takes a walk through a forest which now has a highway close to it, with lots of cars hissing by, he likes to think it's the sound of a nearby creek where water is flowing. Instead of getting annoyed over the fact that he's listening to a bunch of cars.
As for myself my most used "trick" recently has been telling myself "He/she/they won." when I see something online which annoys me. For example when I see someone on twitter who is very wrong. Then I tell myself "This person won." and doing that I don't get angry one bit any longer. Essentially " winning nothing", since I'm not even bothered by what probably is the deed of some attention seeker.
How about you? Any tricks?
If I see anything remotely click baity "You won't believe what 15 people are saying about this thing" I just go "nope". I'm still suckered into them every so often "OMG What do the actors from my favourite show look like now???" is one that nearly always gets me.
I also wave away anyone who comes over to sign me up to something as fast as I can - "no time, no thanks, signed up already" etc.
(Not exactly what you're asking for, but close)
And finally, I'll set a pomodoro timer and start drawing to the 25 minute timer even if the drawing isn't going the way I want. After 25 minutes, or a second one it usually rights itself.
Not really a trick, but when I feel myself getting upset, angry, depressed or whatever, I take a moment to look at my emotions and decide to not let them rule me. They're like dogs and I find I can train them, as it were, to do as they're told. It works for me about 80% of the time and, for the remaining 20%, the impact is much reduced.