Ninja Training, what's the problem?

[Quirkafleeg]

Hmmm have any of your orange boiler suits been taken or a Mini Moke not where you left it?

[WoD]

Hmmm,

Ninja's = 'Super Atheletes'  and are therefore very prone to 'Super-Atheletes Foot'.

You have to be really careful with this.

I recommend getting them to pee on their own feet if you get some more, I've been told that this is very good for keeping this problem under control.

WoD

[El Spurioso]

I think I know the problem, here.  As anyone can tell you, the common unspotted ninja is characterised by two things: his lack of honour and his desire for soltitude.  Under correct training conditions using rigorous bamboo-lashings and so forth your nascent ninja-troupe will experience no difficulties from this direction: their minds are too occupied by hitting things, throwing little spinning stars and the like.  Interrupt their training for even a *day* however, and the sneaky little bastards have the chance to start thinking about things.  Their natural proclivity for soltitude makes them all jumpy and claustraphobic, and as soon as their innate dishonourable-assassin instincts kick-in, well.  Need I go on?  Let's just say that carnage ensues.

My advice to you is this:  count the bodies.  I suspect you will find there is one less than you're expecting.  Somewhere out there, making a bid for freedom, is the One True Ninja who bested all the others.  Find him and employ him, because only he will be able to repel high-pitched-voiced heroes throughout your future as an evil martial-arts bearded villain.

[Wils]

On a similar note: *Never* wash Kabuki theatres in anything hotter than a wool setting. I put mine in a white wash by mistake and the entire cast has shrunk, with the exception of the male lead who now looks like Christopher Lillicrap.

[ukdane]

Sho Kosugi - 'nuff said!http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:0bp7yA9t_CUC:blofeld.qbranch.se/~maal01/Revenge/rev19%2520kopia2.jpg">

[ukdane]

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:tP67_o-apFMC:www.unsuave.com/ninja/images/ninja-or.gif">

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:tP67_o-apFMC:www.unsuave.com/ninja/images/ninja-bk.gif">


Which?

[Jared Katooie]

No doubt your ninjas were saluting your right-hand man or one of your generals or someone similar and inadvertantly karate chopped themselves to death.

Avoid this by training them to only obey you. Or employ demon ninjas, more expensive and less agile but sturdier generally. Just remember to hide the silverware.

J Kat.

[ukdane]

Sorry, that should be...

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:dGeg-iLucUoC:www.unsuave.com/ninja/images/ninja-bk.gif">

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:tP67_o-apFMC:www.unsuave.com/ninja/images/ninja-or.gif">

which?

[petemaskreplica]

Have you been keeping them too close to your expensive special effects? Over-exposure to CGI can induce ennui, which could lead to death. This may not necessarily be a permament problem. Often a few years of ignoring them will lead them to reanimate, and appear fresh and exciting.

Also, have you checked your laser guns on the moon? If they're not firing properly, and there are residues of innuendo, you might have an infestation of secret agents.

[paulvonscott]

As it turns out one ninja is missing as is an orange boiler suit.  Whether he's set up a burger franchise I couldn't say.  Yet.

One worrying development was that when I removed their ninja hoods, they all looked like Jean Claude van Damme.

[Quirkafleeg]

I'm afraid you're Dammed then...

[Proudhuff]

have you checked their flying wires? I've found if these get muddled up a serious bit of damage can be done, of course there is no evidence of these afterwards unless Gerry Anderson's involved

[satchmo]

I heard from one of your rivals that a ninja WAS seen in the vicinity of your island lair,in the company of a fat man in a nappy.Sometimes they were fighting another man,sometimes they were fighting each other.I TOLD you not to give them Bruce Lee for their Spectrum,but did you listen?
On a lighter note I simply cannot fault the performance of the Shaolin Warrior Monks that I bought from Big Norm in the pub last week.Their robes were quite grimy,but they washed ok,and you can't be robbed for 12 quid.