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Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

Started by Bouwel, 10 August, 2009, 11:08:13 AM

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Mike Gloady

I had the same thing when I was in hospital with potentially life-threatening testicle woe.

Or at least, in my morpheine-addled mind I did.  I can remember her face clearly as she whispered about my vital signs being rather worrying and attempting to get ecg pads to stick to my hairy, masculine chest. 

Sadly I think she may have forgotten about me by now.  But I'll never forget her..... *sigh*
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Peter Wolf

Quote from: COMMANDO FORCES on 12 December, 2009, 06:10:48 PM
Did she smack your wrist and tell you that you shouldn't put those in your ears?

She did say the "Never stick anything bigger than ....." thing but i explained it was because of "swimmers ear" and the itching and she was saying she has had the same thing herself before and understood how hard it is not to scratch inside the ear.


Quote from: Colin_YNWA on 12 December, 2009, 06:11:09 PM
Quote from: Peter Wolf on 12 December, 2009, 06:07:58 PM
I had exactly the same thing happen when i went to the tax office and talked to the attractive Black woman about my tax affairs.


Surely sticking cotton buds in your ear isn't the thing to do when talking to a tax officer, attractive or otherwise????!!!!

I could have worded my comment a bit better but it was the flirtatiousness i was refering to.

I still cant believe i was in and out of A+E in half an hour if that because i was dreading being stuck up there for hours.............
Worthing Bazaar - A fete worse than death

House of Usher

Quote from: Peter Wolf on 12 December, 2009, 06:23:46 PM
She did say the "Never stick anything bigger than ....." thing

Me! Me! I know! Is it 'a fist' ?
STRIKE !!!

Mike Gloady

Elbow. 

That also applies to your mouth.  Unfortunately..... *wink*
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vzzbux

If it is smaller than your index finger don't stick it in.








V
Drokking since 1972

Peace is a lie, there's only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.

TordelBack

#965
Off to my niece's christening, which is partly nice since I get to see my niece, and partly intensely irritating because I will be nagged incessantly as to why my kids haven't been inducted into the cult-du-jour.  I would note that my brother and sister-in-law are of different religious backgrounds, are both agnostic and had a 'humanist' wedding ceremony, but they feel a baptismal cert (of any type) is important.

It's not like I'm not teaching my kids about religion, I mean how many three-year olds can name the three wise men (Note: not in the Bible) and Zeus' elder brothers?  Possibly I've gone too far calling Jesus 'one of the gods many people think are real'.  I'm a pretty big fan of Jesus-as-represented-in-the-Gospels as it happens, I just don't think he was the son of some type of god.

My mother's typically penetrating point is that I'm foisting the 'burden' of difference on my children.  Apparently I could throw my own kids in to today's proceedings as a job lot, and that would fix everything.

I'm starting to feel like one of those bastards who refuses their kids transfusions or antibiotics because of their own beliefs.  Still, there'll be mince pies afterwards, and I haven't had one yet this year.


House of Usher

Quote from: TordelBack on 13 December, 2009, 11:33:42 AM
I mean how many three-year olds can name the three wise men (Note: not in the Bible)

Um... let's see now: Balthazar, Melchior and... Athos? Porthos? Prancer? Dancer? Bashful? Erm...
STRIKE !!!

TordelBack

Gaspar (the friendly Magus), of course.  Now, can anyone help out with the third of the three Fates, Atropos, Clotho and...?

I walk past a statue of them every day, and can I remember the third?   

vzzbux

Drokking since 1972

Peace is a lie, there's only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.

worldshown

Quote from: TordelBack on 13 December, 2009, 12:29:29 PM
Gaspar (the friendly Magus), of course.  Now, can anyone help out with the third of the three Fates, Atropos, Clotho and...?

I walk past a statue of them every day, and can I remember the third?   

Lachesis?

Peter Wolf

Quote from: TordelBack on 13 December, 2009, 11:33:42 AM
Off to my niece's christening, which is partly nice since I get to see my niece, and partly intensely irritating because I will be nagged incessantly as to why my kids haven't been inducted into the cult-du-jour.  I would note that my brother and sister-in-law are of different religious backgrounds, are both agnostic and had a 'humanist' wedding ceremony, but they feel a baptismal cert (of any type) is important.

It's not like I'm not teaching my kids about religion, I mean how many three-year olds can name the three wise men (Note: not in the Bible) and Zeus' elder brothers?  Possibly I've gone too far calling Jesus 'one of the gods many people think are real'.  I'm a pretty big fan of Jesus-as-represented-in-the-Gospels as it happens, I just don't think he was the son of some type of god.

My mother's typically penetrating point is that I'm foisting the 'burden' of difference on my children.  Apparently I could throw my own kids in to today's proceedings as a job lot, and that would fix everything.

I'm starting to feel like one of those bastards who refuses their kids transfusions or antibiotics because of their own beliefs.  Still, there'll be mince pies afterwards, and I haven't had one yet this year.



I think in a lot of cases its about tradition rather than religious beliefs.I have been christened apparently despite the fact that my family arent particularly religious in any way.My brother didnt want a christian burial but he still got one which i didnt particularly agree with but again this was more to do with tradition rather than religious beliefs.

I am an agnostic and i dont believe in worshipping anything but i dont resent being baptised in holy water and despite the fact that i dislike organised religion i do have Christian values to a certain extent.

Perhaps the fact i have been baptised might explain why i have such a strong dislike of Lucifarianism and Satanism ?
Worthing Bazaar - A fete worse than death

Mike Gloady

My brother, who, in all probability will bury me (or burn, or launch into the sun) has been emotionally blackmailed with talk of "ultimate betrayal" to dissuade him from doing anything remotely religious with my bones.  I think it's worked.

Of course, now I'm considering medical science for my old carcass, he won't get the chance to be tempted (hopefully) as the family only get what's left after medical students have done their thing.
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TordelBack

#972
Lachesis, of course, thank you!  Now I can feel even more stupid when I can't remember tomorrow.

So the christening was interesting - I think all concerned imagined they were getting away with a secular-type affair, but in fact all ended up swearing all kinds of solemn oaths of fealty to Cod, the Baby Jeebus and the Holey Spigot.  It was amusing watching participants who were probably last in a church at their christenings writhe under the glare of religiosity - fair play to the professional baby-wetter, he gave them their money's worth.  I was gad I didn't take up the three-for-two offer, I suspect I'd have combusted with shame half way through.

That said, the wee girl was absolutely gorgeous, clad in a christening robe made from her great-great-grandmother's wedding dress, and previously worn by her great grandad in India,  her grandmother (my mum), two of her uncles and me.  So that bit I enjoyed.  Also, the mince pies were choice.

Oh, and it's medical experiments for me too.  If nothing else, I want the female doctors of tomorrow to never be satisfied with the physiques of their future husbands.  Failing that, I'm sure the pigs could use some decent chow.


Kerrin

Leaving your body to science is all very well...however. After discussions over several beers with a couple of old friends of mine who are doctors (one a GP, the other a consultant neurosurgeon if you please), I'm getting burnt to a tee and blown out of a cannon. Fair enough, you're not going to know a damn thing about it, but the thought of a hungover medical student stuffing up your various orifices and hacking away at your carcase like a crackhead kebab shop worker is just slightly too much.

But as I say, you won't feel a thing. And it is a noble thing to do.

Minor impedimentally, I left a tissue in my jeans pocket before washing them. Black t-shirts with fetching flecks. Tut.

 

TordelBack

QuoteFair enough, you're not going to know a damn thing about it, but the thought of a hungover medical student stuffing up your various orifices and hacking away at your carcase like a crackhead kebab shop worker is just slightly too much.

Idea used to worry me, but then I greatly enjoyed the funeral of the grandmother of good friends of mine, who had donated her body to science and put all kinds of no-fuss conditions into her dying wishes, only to end up with not one but two religious ceremonies arranged by well-meaning relations instead.  I attended the second of these, a proper Catholic funeral (she was Church of England, unlike most of the family) but with no coffin or body, which created all sorts of hilarious missteps and doubletakes which were greatly enjoyed by the put-out grandkids who would sooner have honoured her wishes, and by me.  It's a good way of reminding both yourself and your family that the body is only a small part of the person and once it's packed in not worth fussing over.  Dead people get to live on in the memories and through the lives of those they've affected, but we spend our time fixated on a body.  Better to get it out of the way.