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Squaxx Telling Jokes

Started by The Legendary Shark, 22 November, 2014, 09:12:18 AM

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sheridan

Quote from: Smith on 27 September, 2017, 09:16:34 AM
People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian.But nobody's laughing now.

Bob Monkhouse - a comic artist in his youth.

Smith

I shouldnt have eaten all that seafood.Im feeling a little eel now.

The Legendary Shark

Quote from: Smith on 27 September, 2017, 01:23:12 PMI shouldnt have eaten all that seafood.Im feeling a little eel now.
Sushi shame. That'll teach you to shell out on the good stuff and share instead of being so shellfish. I'll get me roach...
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Smith

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.She looked surprised.

Smith

Urge to sing "The lion sleeps tonight" is always just a whim away.A whim away.A whim away.

The Legendary Shark

They say invisible ink's making a comeback but I can't see it.

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Woolly

I've decided to join Stockholm Syndrome club.
I'm told I'll grow to love it.

Smith

Why are junkies stealing comic books?
They heard they contain strong heroines.

Rara Avis

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish person?

[spoiler]None[/spoiler]

Definitely Not Mister Pops

3 conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.

Don't try to tell me that's just a coincidence
You may quote me on that.

Smith

Democracy is a system where two idiots outvote one smart person.

The Legendary Shark

How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader?

Tell him the natural food of asylum seekers is paedophiles.

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Smith

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one,they are efficent and not very funny.

The Legendary Shark

Poor old Theresa May. As a child she was somebody else's imaginary friend.

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Smith

The fact there is highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about the expected traffic.