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Y'know what really grinds my gears?

Started by Link Prime, 12 April, 2014, 01:47:44 PM

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Hawkmumbler

I can't comment on how cycelists may look.....hell, i'm a diver, I look like a right Frankensteins Monster in my get up! Hoses and bubbles everywhere.

The Legendary Shark

Well quite - but at least you have the good sense to look stupid underwater, where nobody can see you... :-D
[move]~~~^~~~~~~~[/move]




Hawkmumbler

Well here's me in my kit (though I have new regs and a Wing BCD now). I wasn't expecting to get my picture taken so thats why I look so horrified.

Grugz

Quote from: The Legendary Shark on 03 March, 2015, 07:48:14 PM
What really grinds my gears (today) is when people leave two sheets of tissue on the bog roll but don't change it. Rather, they just start one of the fresh rolls on the windowsill instead. I mean, come on, it takes six seconds if you take it slow. Even worse is leaving the roll completely empty and not changing it - but at least that's more honest. But leaving two sheets on the roll is both lazy and dishonest - "I didn't finish the roll so I don't have to change it." You tw*t. Change the f*cking roll! It takes six seconds! Six! If you don't rush! I timed it - I know! What the Hell are you going to do with those saved six seconds? Write down everything you've ever learned? Scratch yourself? Have sex?
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Change the empty f*cking roll, you dick!

you're being a bit harsh on the dog never mind he can actually use the facilities and wipes his bum but I'm surprised you got a loo on the boat I always though you stick your bum over the side ;)
don't get into an argument with an idiot,he'll drag you down to his level then win with experience!

http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,26167.0.html

radiator

Quote from: The Legendary Shark on 03 March, 2015, 08:05:39 PM
Don't get me started on cyclists, either. I'm not talking about those maniacs just going to work or down the shops - I'm talking about those loopy Tour de Huddersfield wannabees all spilling out of their lycra romper-suits and silly helmets who go out in big gangs and ride along in a ten mile long knot with no gaps along winding country roads with no passing places, all puffing and panting and red-faced and sucking fluids out of an on-bike flask so that they stop pedalling and wander all over the place like a drunk on a bar stool at chucking out time before sticking their arses in the air and pedalling like buggery for hours on end even though 26mph is NOT FAST and not one of them ever looks like they're enjoying themselves.
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And... breathe...

I don't have much of an issue with cyclists per se and think they should be encouraged, but I do admit to thinking they look bloody ridiculous when they overdo it a bit and dress head-to toe in skin-tight lycra, doubly so when they are inexplicably covered in 'sponsor' logos as if they're competing in the Tour De France or something.

TordelBack

I have no real problem with cyclists either, having been one out of necessity for most of my life.  However, the particular breed of leisure cyclist who need to cycle two or three abreast on narrow country roads while yakking away does my head in - if you want to have a nice chat while you go about your choice of outdoor pursuit, please pick a vehicle which has the right number of seats.

Dandontdare

ah country cyclists are a breeze - try dealing with cyclists in  a city that has spent a fortune putting cycle paths alongside every road but who still insist on riding on the pavement and giving you a hard time if you don't get out of the way

Are you over 12? If yes, get on the fucking road with the rest of the wheeled traffic.

Oh, and red traffic lights apply to you twats too - you may be able to get through the junction without being hit by a car, but pedestrians use that gap to CROSS the road and don't want to be hit by your lycra-clad twattishness..

I, Cosh

And what is it with football fans? Why do they all have to wear the same top as Messi when they could get a plain Umbro one for a fifth of the price, eh?
We never really die.

JayzusB.Christ

Quote from: Dandontdare on 03 March, 2015, 10:43:05 PM
ah country cyclists are a breeze - try dealing with cyclists in  a city that has spent a fortune putting cycle paths alongside every road but who still insist on riding on the pavement and giving you a hard time if you don't get out of the way

Are you over 12? If yes, get on the fucking road with the rest of the wheeled traffic.

Oh, and red traffic lights apply to you twats too - you may be able to get through the junction without being hit by a car, but pedestrians use that gap to CROSS the road and don't want to be hit by your lycra-clad twattishness..

This.  Cycling should indeed be encouraged but I'm sick of these feckers.  I try to make a point of shouting abuse at the red-light-breaking cunts whenever they do it.
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"

Hawkmumbler

People who complain about new wave punks and hipsters. As a culture it's no more ridiculous than anything the previous generation would have been like. Or the generation before them.

Theblazeuk

I don't like the lycra lot. But they don't ride on the pavements. I don't like going through red lights at high speed but I don't think following them is actually the safest thing.

I hate the lycra SPEED crowd v.muchly too but honestly, my closest calls on a bike have been waiting patiently at a red light. A lorry turned left across me as I was trying to go straight on and had to duck under the spikey bits on the back. A (admittedly unrepresentative idiot) on his mobile phone clipped my back wheel as I went forward and he tried to turn left. And as I took up the turning point in the middle of a cross-junction to turn right, some dizzy bint decided to pull up right next to my left before veering sharply to the right as soon as a gap was clear, nearly crushing me under her back wheels. Oh, and just last week the cyclist waiting in traffic with me was clocked in the head by a lorry door as the passenger decided to just open up and get out whilst the traffic was stopped. Edge of the door right into his temple, luckily he was lycra-clad and helmeted up.

The biggest demonstration of any of the problems would be to get off the armchair of your car and try using any of said cycle routes to get around. Soft, what light shines from yonder path? A bloody lampost. No wait, it's a bus stop embarking/disembarking point. No, no, it's just a taxi/van/police car/normal moron in a car parked on what's only a single yellow line. Oh and this lane takes me from the straight, wide road to the pavement - nice - wait, now I'm back again. Wouldn't it have been safer just to let me go straight on?! Never mind, planner must have thought this through. And of course the pedestrians are always ever gracious about my sudden, road sign indicated and occasionally mandatorily SPELLED OUT BY CONSTRUCTION SIGNS diversion on to the 10 ft of their pavement dedicated as a 'bike lane'.

Cycle lanes on roads are also not actually legally restricted from being parked in except the rare 'unbroken' lines, which are only ever really around places where cars cant park anyway. Under bridges etc. Hence they are useless. That is they are even more useless than the other situation, where they run for 10 meters up a pavement before immediately dumping you into a busy junction three lanes away from where you need to be.

And those wonderful red lights! Grand things. If only there was this reserved space where I could be on my bike so that I could make a turn or get going before tonnes of metal steamrolled over me. If only said metal boxes didn't always park right in there. If only I could get to them and make it across the righthand lanes without having to cross the deathtrap of others.


And of course, everyone is very very eager to get the whole 10 metres in front of me on Hammersmith bridge so they can hit the traffic lights and grind to a halt that much faster.

Try dealing with cycle lanes in a city that spent a fortune putting them in without seeing how they'd actually work. Then try cycling anywhere where public infrastructure is halfway planned, say, Berlin, Munich, Bruges or Amsterdam.

I'm not a fan of the lycra speed brigade either or the four-a-breast approach but nothing makes me madder than trying to use the cycle lanes in our great country. There is a bit right near me that sees you use 4 sets of traffic lights to cross one road several times to stay on 'the bike path', with big DISMOUNT signs at every step. In all honesty, the quickest way to an accident is to use the bike lane. It's where the traffic squeezes into when it wants to peek at the block up the road, it's where the moron pedestrian steps into to avoid foot traffic, it's where the biggest potholes are, it's the closest thing to a parking spot in the vast majority of streets... it's not the place to be.

JamesC

All excellent reasons why bicycles should be banned from the public highway Blaze  :D

TordelBack

Grown adults who say 'we need to sweat the asset' in public.

Fungus

Quote from: JamesC on 04 March, 2015, 01:43:42 PM
All excellent reasons why bicycles should be banned from the public highway Blaze  :D

I applaud cyclists, good on you. But you couldn't pay me enough to do it myself.
Lorry passenger door to the side of the head ?!

Jim_Campbell

Scotsmen who give you every reason to expect that they're going to die and then get better and go down the pie shop.

The bastards.

Not referring to anyone specific. Certainly not anyone on on this forum. Nosiree...

Cheers

Jim
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