Y'know what really grinds my gears?

[The Legendary Shark]

I always thought those toilet seats that won't stay up were a feminist plot.

[Hawkmumbler]

Mayor is White Falcon now?

[Grugz]

my gran's loo was a chopper chopper... luckily they had an outside one too so I was still able to have kids...also I remember the stairs in my grans house were bloody steep I fell a couple of times as a kid never mind when I grew big clown feet.

[Hawkmumbler]

I know I bring up the subject of sexual discrimination a lot but....the anti-pride sentiment ussualy starting with these words....

"You don't see a straight pride festival"

It's be ause you don't fucking need it. Your nit an oppressed minority, your never living in fear for your life, you don't have to be constantly put under scrutiny or stereotyped.

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

The Gay Pride parade in Belfast is all wrong.

You're not supposed to have a parade here without an accompanying riot. Get it together gays

[Mattofthespurs]

Or worse, ones that you think are safely lent against the cistern but then drop down with a slam halfway through, splashing in the piss stream on the way.

There's also a worse possible outcome...

We have one of those in our house. If you step on a certain floorboard whilst urinating the seat comes slamming down. We call it 'The Willy Whacker'.

[JPMaybe]

Talking of micturition/toilet-seat woes, what about when you're taking a dump as a matter of urgency and you manage to wazz through the gap between the seat and the bowl all over your trousers and shoes. I can't be the only one this has happened to.

...right?

[Dandontdare]

Talking of micturition/toilet-seat woes, what about when you're taking a dump as a matter of urgency and you manage to wazz through the gap between the seat and the bowl all over your trousers and shoes. I can't be the only one this has happened to.

...right?

Ah yes, the Morning-Semi Overshoot Phenomena, very nasty.

My friend had a toilet seat with an almost invisible crack so that unless you sat in a specific position it nipped your arse.

[NapalmKev]

Lucky bastards with your Toilet seats. Down 'ere in the South-West we still Shit and piss in a hole in the back garden.

Seriously though, I've had the 'piss through the gap in the seat' scenario, landing on my trousers just before my shift started at work. Great fun.

Cheers

[radiator]

I've genuinely always wondered whether those toilet seats were just badly fitted or actually deliberately set up like that to stop people leaving the seat up...?

[Mardroid]

We don't have seats on our work toilets.

On the plus side, there's no gap to accidentally pee through.

Bit cold for the botty though, unless you don't mind doing the 'hover bomb' thing.

[Something Fishy]

Lucky bastards with your Toilet seats. Down 'ere in the South-West we still Shit and piss in a hole in the back garden.

Seriously though, I've had the 'piss through the gap in the seat' scenario, landing on my trousers just before my shift started at work. Great fun.

Cheers

you must be in the posh part of the south west.  down here in cornwall we live down in the bleddy oles and buggers from up country piss n shit on us.

[Spaceghost]

To be positioned to piss through the gap between seat and porcelain, I imagine you would have to have a very small penis. You have my sympathies.

[JPMaybe]

I'm a grower, not a shower.  Plus if it's a cold day.

[Spaceghost]

People typing THEN when they really mean THAN.

"Judge Dredd is much more handsome then Batman"

"Then Batman what? Oh, you mean JD is more handsome THAN Batman. Well why don't you fucking say that then you utter moron?"

It's usually Americans too, as if their litany of sins wasn't fucking big enough already.