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Those are some great photos. Russian children do seem to be inordinately grumpy.

Heh, I enjoyed that. Loved the way they got around not having a convincing Lawmaster by just having it zip past like a bullet. As has been said, 10/10 for effort. (Also, there's a "Yodelling Instructor" in the credits - very MC1!)

Thank you for finding this and sharing.

Just got another fantastic contribution in. We need more, though! More, more, more!

And remember, you don't have to be a skilled artist or writer to join in. It's the thought that counts!

Premature chatulation?

Somebody please help me out - I'm trapped in here all alone with the Godpleton creature...

Well, I'll be pretty pissed off if the world is destroyed tomorrow - it's where I keep all my stuff.

Heh, I like that, Foxy   (Does he have to be waving his cock about, though?)

Anyway, I was bored so the Yap Shop's open. Could be the last chance before an asteroid vapourises t'interweb...

Channel 4 News?

[Beale:]

Or the speech from Network?

Beale: I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth; banks are going bust; shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter; punks are running wild in the street, and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it.

We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat. And we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be!

We all know things are bad -- worse than bad -- they're crazy.

It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out any more. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials, and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone."

Well, I'm not going to leave you alone.

I want you to get mad!

I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to write to your Congressman, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street.

All I know is that first, you've got to get mad.

You've gotta say, "I'm a human being, goddammit! My life has value!"

So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell,

                "I'm as mad as hell,

                and I'm not going to take this anymore!!"

I have clicked some things and whatever like, you know?

Soup herb. I'm thoroughly jealous.


Shameless Plug Dept:
You know, Sir Colin's in the Yap Shop most Wednesday nights so why not slide on over and worship him virtually in person with the rest of us unworthies?

[Quint:]

I always loved Quint's monologue from Jaws.

Quint: Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian to Laytee, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like ol' squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.
Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, boson's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He's a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

Wow - got a tear in my eye just reading that.

The incomparable Mr Coleman illustrated my first ever published script (War of the Worlds, FutureQuake #15), making the finished story far, far better than what I writed. Anyone who can make something this old loon wrote look good is simply crying out for a proper Twoothy slot. You listening, Tharg? Get George some paid work ASAP!

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