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Started by SmallBlueThing, 04 February, 2011, 12:40:44 PM

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Professor Bear

Quote from: Tjm86 on 12 December, 2017, 08:11:18 PMSure we're talking about the same film?

There's a bit where Paddington - who I remind you is brown - is running on The Underground with a suitcase and not once is he shot to death by our hard-working bobbies.*  Talk about a liberal fantasy - what if this was actually a Die Hard film and Paddington had a bomb because the film had a different plot?  Dozens of fictional people could have died because of revisionist cuck libtard cultural Marxism.




*who are simultaneously worth every penny and yet also overpaid.  While also being up against it and yet also there are too many of them.

Tjm86

Ah, there we go.  I remember now!  To top it all off, the liberal 'fake news' press then try to portray Paddington as an innocent bystander who was attempting to deliver his dirty suitcase bomb to MI5 HQ for defusing rather than to kill hundreds of valiant servants of the state.  They glossed over his final words: "Death to the Imperialists!  Long Live the People's Party of Peru!  (But not the Peruvian People's Party, Splitters!)" and tried to spin them as a mistranslation of "Quick, run for your lives before this bomb explodes!"  Like you say, they tried to sell the idea that he was racially profiled due to the colour of his fur and that if he was a Polar Bear then it would never have happened.

Professor Bear

Exactly - if all of that had happened rather than what actually happened, it would have been carnage in that film.  You couldn't make it up - and they didn't!

Buttonman

The Michael Caine-a-thon continues with The Island (not the Ewan McGregor / Scarlett Johansson one).

Mattofthespurs

Quote from: Buttonman on 13 December, 2017, 03:36:26 PM
The Michael Caine-a-thon continues with The Island (not the Ewan McGregor / Scarlett Johansson one).

Shite as it maybe I still enjoyed it. Cheesy beyond belief but still fun. Who doesn't like pirates that aren't Johnny Depp?  :P

Professor Bear

Ghost In The Shell features a running theme about the theft of distinctive identities in order to produce shallow knock-offs that can service the bottom line of large faceless corporations, which to me seemed like the last thread they should have been tugging upon but here we are.  Scarlett Johannsson fights terrorists by advertising Soda Stream in real life, but she also fights them in films by living in a CGI version of Hong Kong where all the major characters are played by Caucasian actors and an animatronic replica of Takeshi Kitano, and where binmen carry machine guns and invisibility cloaks.  Where Kusanagi in the anime was a study in laconic confidence, the Scarbo version is instead insecure and neurotic thanks to the introduction of a moody teenager backstory, and where once the property could explore the inherent dichotomy of any gender identity that's placed upon a synthetic human, the American version has simplified the theme to "she's a lipstick lezzer" via a seemingly tacked-on scene where she nearly makes out with a hooka.
I know it probably seems unfair to keep harking back to previous iterations of this material, but you see, not doing so is impossible, as for some reason the majority of the film's visuals and plot is replicated from the 1990s anime despite a lot of that looking the way it did because of the constraints of animation and the mangaka visual sensibility of creator Masamune Shirow and director Mamoru Oshii, though the one thing they seem to have got right is the clumsy English dialogue, which sounds exactly as bad as 1990s anime dubs did.

I'm overthinking this.  The film misses the point on almost every level and yet is also too slavish to the '95 anime.  It would have been better if they'd just concentrated on making an action film with these characters in it, because this is just garbage.
More like Ghost in the SHITE.

pictsy

Quote from: Professor Bear on 17 December, 2017, 07:35:30 PM
...
More like Ghost in the SHITE.

I am getting perverse satisfaction in enjoying negative takes on the live action Ghost in the Shell.  From the '95 film to the second series of SAC, GitS is one of my favourite sci-fi properties.  The idea of a hollywood live action version annoyed me and the more I heard about what they were doing with it, the more annoyed I became.  Your view pretty much sums up what I thought it would end up being.  More reason for me not to bother with it.  :D

Buttonman

Caine does more definite work in The Hand - well worth a look if you like big piles of crap!

Colin YNWA

Quote from: Buttonman on 20 December, 2017, 05:57:24 PM
Caine does more definite work in The Hand - well worth a look if you like big piles of crap!

Oh God I remember this back in the day when renting a video was an exciting threat and this one sounded so exciting and cool... it wasn't

Professor Bear

Quote from: pictsy on 19 December, 2017, 11:16:36 AMI am getting perverse satisfaction in enjoying negative takes on the live action Ghost in the Shell.

"How Not To Adapt A Movie."

Eric Plumrose

Quote from: Professor Bear on 12 December, 2017, 09:15:14 PM
Quote from: Tjm86 on 12 December, 2017, 08:11:18 PMSure we're talking about the same film?

There's a bit where Paddington - who I remind you is brown - is running on The Underground with a suitcase and not once is he shot to death by our hard-working bobbies.*  Talk about a liberal fantasy - what if this was actually a Die Hard film and Paddington had a bomb because the film had a different plot?  Dozens of fictional people could have died because of revisionist cuck libtard cultural Marxism.

Assuming I've understood you both correctly, this wants to be a Richard Curtis film but fails because it has a non-white character who (a) has a speaking role and (b) isn't married to Keira Knightley?
Not sure if pervert or cheesecake expert.

pictsy

Quote from: Professor Bear on 20 December, 2017, 08:11:08 PM
Quote from: pictsy on 19 December, 2017, 11:16:36 AMI am getting perverse satisfaction in enjoying negative takes on the live action Ghost in the Shell.

"How Not To Adapt A Movie."

I caught that video ;)

The montage scene from the '95 film that he mentions is my favourite scene out of all the movies I watch and still evokes an emotional response as strongly as the first time I saw it, if not more.  Director Mamoru Oshii uses these types of scenes in many (certainly all that I've seen) of his films and this one is still my favourite.  There is always a point to them as well.

Steve Green

Bright - Netflix debut.

Has been absolutely slated by the critics, called the worst movie of 2017. Which is pretty much moth to a flame for me. Also wanted to see what a $90m Netflix movie looked like.

I'm not sure how much of the bad reviews are because Max Landis wrote it, the weird premise, that it's a way to stick it Netflix, as it's pretty much Alien Nation but swapping aliens out and replacing them with orcs/elves etc.

Average yes - worst movie of 2017? Hmm.

The first 40 mins are the most interesting - once the elf squad gets involved it's a bit of a re-run of Fifth Element combined with Underworld.

Personally I wanted to see more of the [spoiler]Centaur mounted division[/spoiler]

Joel Edgerton was really good in it, Will Smith was Will Smith...

I'd put it around a C+ to B- something like RIPD

Mind you critics were raving (for the most part) about the Last Jedi, which I thought had some issues so what do I know.

Professor Bear

I know this isn't really what some would call a quote-unquote "high bar" but Landis hasn't raped anyone so Bright is a must-see for me.  Ahead of a single frame of it being shot, he legit Tweeted (now deleted) that Bright was going to be the next Star Wars.

Steve Green

More of a soundbite than the next Resident Evil/Underworld

They've greenlit a sequel anyway.

Overblown criticism on this just makes critics look like idiots, and the flipside of those sending out a petition about the Last Jedi.

We had an emoji movie in 2017 with Sir Pat voicing an animated turd, I can't imagine Bright is even close to the 'worst movie of 2017'