The Writers' Block

[blackmocco]

Yeah, editing it down to meet a word count's challenging but I do like the process. Feels a bit like sculpting.

[The Legendary Shark]

Yes, I think you're spot on there. That first draft's like the lump of stone a sculptor finds that's roughly the correct shape and material and the writing of it's like lugging it home, I suppose.

[blackmocco]

Also, it's so easy to overwrite. I do it all the time. Been wrestling with a short story that I've submitted to a bunch of places - and been rejected, naturally - and stripped it right down to the bone but now, I feel it's too bare. Been reading a lot of Ray Bradbury lately. Have a whole bunch of his short story collections and I'm loving them and it made me want to go back and flesh the text out a bit. Nothing verbose, nothing too dense, but want it to be a bit more than just cold descriptions and dialog, like a script.

...which is the exact opposite of what we're discussing, I guess. Haha!

[The Legendary Shark]

Yes, I tend to overwrite and it is frustrating. You come up with a really good or clever sentence and are loath to cut it, even though you know it's just decorative. Then, on the other hand, you need to put some good or clever sentences in to make the work your own - you can't win!

[The Legendary Shark]

One of the challenges of writing, I think, is to find one's own voice. To this end, I sometimes do a little exercise. I read or hear a tired old cliché and challenge myself to come up with at least 25 alternatives. Most of the replacements I think up are pure rubbish but I sometimes get one or two showing promise.
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For example, on Radio 4 Extra tonight I heard a character say, 'you smell like a tart's handbag.' I came up with:
...an Avon lady's back seat.
...Anne Summers' stock room.
...the skip behind Boots.
...the Queen's toilet.
...Dale Winton's bathroom.
...Bill Clinton's comb.
...a Persil factory.
...Aphrodite's cloud.
...a slapper's best blouse.
...a Turkish laundrette.
...a vandalised chemist's.
...Madonna's tights.
...the Pope's hairdresser's sponge bag.
...the Fonz's bike seat.
...Donald Trump's vest.
...Victoria Beckham's bath mat.
...Bernard Manning's secret valise.
...James Bond's rug.
...Queen Victoria's dressing gown.
...a collapsed Bodyshop.
...a crashed Lynx truck.
...Julian Clary's dog.
...Hyacinth Bucket's dustbin.
...Mary Quant's knicker drawer.
...the Channel factory fork-lift.
...a high school disco.
...Tony Blair's socks.
...the Old Spice laboratory's drains.
...Moira Stewart's flannel.
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I'm sure you all could come up with much better but there's a couple in there I'm fond of. Does anyone else do similar exercises?

[M.I.K.]

No.

[The Legendary Shark]

Why not?
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I've noticed that of all the creatives, writers seem to practice the least. Artists sketch and musicians free-form but writers seem to expect proficiency from the off - just diving in to a novel or whatever with practically zero preparation or practice. I wonder why that is?

[maryanddavid]

Some gems there Shark

[TordelBack]

'...skip behind Boots' totally works for me, excellent. Never thought about writers 'sketching', interesting.

[Echidna]

Ursula Le Guin's Steering the Craft suggests a few exercises, such as writing a page without any adjectives or adverbs, or in sentences of less than eight words, or which is all one sentence.

I'm just dipping my toes into creative writing at the moment and haven't tried any exercises as such. The 500-word limit in the short story comp is challenging enough - it forces you to cut out the guff and find more efficient ways of conveying information.

[The Legendary Shark]

I think it was Mark Twain who said, 'if you catch an adverb, kill it."
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'...the skip behind Boots' was my favourite, too

[Echidna]

I think "Julian Clary's dog" has the edge, myself

[The Legendary Shark]

Another good thing I find in this exercise is the way it can help with writing a character subtly. For example, 'you smell like the skip behind Boots' suggests to me a younger, inexperienced person from a poorer background off out on the pull on a Saturday night. '...Julian Clary's dog suggests a more mature and more refined character, perhaps someone with class pretentions or ambitions.
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On top of that, such a replaced cliché can be the springboard for a narrative convention around a certain character. Let's say we have a middle-aged baroness on the hunt for a suitable husband. After having first heard her described as 'smelling like Julian Clary's dog,' we might keep up the animal motif for her; she might laugh like a chimpanzee, move like a panther, listen like a wolf, dance like a spider and so on (but using better language, of course, and not overdone).
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The skip behind Boots can be used in exactly the same way. A skip is an iron box, usually with flaking paint and big rusty dings in it. From this a character convention can be grown, always including references to boxes (if the character's claustrophobic, for example), metal or being battered and tatty.
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I like this exercise because not only does it help identify and eliminate clichés but also turns them into a positive asset.

[I, Cosh]

So, almost everything you thought of was either homophobic or misogynistic?

To be fair, "Bill Clinton's comb" is oddly amusing and I've never heard the original phrase.

[The Legendary Shark]

To be fair, the cliché I was basing this on is fairly misogynistic to start with, that's part of its flavour and bound to come across to some degree. As I said, most of the ideas are utter rubbish and I deliberately posted every one I came up with (the good, the bad and the ugly) instead of just cherry-picking to demonstrate this.
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I think you make a fair point, however. I grew up laughing at Les Dawson, Benny Hill and The Comedians and the impression they left runs deep. I don't think I'm a misogynist or a homophobe and try not to base my impressions of actual people on their sex or orientation. But all that Frankie Howerd and Carry On in me comes out sometimes, I suppose.
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I can only apologise if I have caused any offence, that was most certainly not my intent. My intent was to bore everyone rigid with yet more of my pompous bullshine
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