Messages

[still]

"Reading Jim's foul language is too much."

Don't make me laugh, you feeble-minded shitbag. I've called you a fucking cunt more times than I can count on a.c.200ad and still you won't fuck off, despite repeated promises that you were leaving forever.

For the avoidance of any doubt or confusion: in the unlikely event that the opportunity should ever present itself, I will fucking ruin you if it lies within my ability.

Sadly, given my lack of links with organized crime, or people of a violent persuasion, I shall have to content myself with the knowledge that you are doomed to eke out an onanistic life in your mother's basement, employed at a dry cleaners, engaging in rather peculiar fantasies about yourself and Hugh Jackman.

Rot in hell, you loathesome little turd.

Jim

PS - to recent arrivals on this board ... you're missing some serious history here. You may interpret the above as a psychotic episode but, trust me, it really, really, isn't.

"I'm outta here. "

Outta here like you were leaving alt.comics.2000ad forever, just a few days ago?

I don't fucking think so, cockweasel. Stick to the wasteland you've created over on Usenet, you little shit.

Maybe the majority of people who remember what you're like have drifted away (although I doubt it), but I still know what you've said and done in the past.

You've blown every chance you've ever been given on this board, and I don't believe you're deserving of any more opportunities to demonstrate the dubious state of your mental health.

Fuck off back to the dry cleaners, you pathetic tosser.

Bah!

Jim

"Seems fair"

Not if you're banned from this forum, it isn't.

Jim

I'm pretty sure it's he-who-shall-not-be-named. His other post about Origins is an exact copy of the Usenet post linked to below ...

Cheers

Jim

Link: http://groups.google.com/group/alt.comics.2000ad/browse_frm/thread/d5546e87d03f6969/5e907b24b8b96394?lnk=st&q=&rnum=7&hl=en#5e907b24b8b96394" target="_blank">Twat!

I think Scott's back.

If not, "Zone remix" is suspiciously duplicating his alt.comics.2000AD posts, and demonstrating the replying-to-his-own-posts trait ...

Would you be kind enough to re-ban the little twat?

Cheers

Jim

Kinda hard to say in the abstract ...

Do you wanna do the scan and e-mail it to me, along with a quick note about what you want to use the finished image for?

I'll have bash, e-mail it back and tell you what I did to it, for future reference?

I'm on dial-up, so if the image needs to more than a couple of Mb, we're on a loser with this suggestion, by the way.

If you save the scan out as a TIFF with LZW compression (no layers), you should get a reasonably compact file without the "lossy" issues associated with JPEGs.

Cheers!

Jim

[WASTING PERFECTLY GOOD DRINKING TIME.]

"All right, all pub crawls aren't like that, but they do invariably involve moving out of a comfortable pub where you've got a seat and heading into THE UNKNOWN. Which gets old fast."

Seconded. Three key points which seem lost on the devotees of the pub crawl:

1) Drinking standing up is unnatural, uncivilized and unpleasant. I drink to relax. I relax sitting down. How relaxed are you in a bus queue? Or at the supermarket check-out? QED.

All that getting from Pub A to Pub B to Pub C is time when you are:

2) Massively increasing your chances of encountering some pissed up twat who thinks it'll be funny/impress his mates (and/or bird) to take a swing at you.

3) WASTING PERFECTLY GOOD DRINKING TIME.

Pub crawls. Don't do it. Just find a decent pub and stay there.

Cheers!

Jim

"But fuck me, am I bored!"

I know what you mean ... I now only (regularly) drink Friday, Saturday, and a bit on Sundays.

Yes - the weight is coming off steadily and I feel better (possible substitute word: smug). I've also noticed the benefit to my bank balance every month, too. But, yeah, I am bored.

To HoU ... you're quite right. I started this thread as a reaction against nanny-state-ism, not as a celebration of the beer boy culture.

If I'm honest, the examples I cited all come from a period between the age of 21 and 26, during which I was pretty much out of control. I've been in a long, gradual calming down process over the last decade or so.

I'm sure there were evenings when I drank much, much more, but the years 1991-1995 are a sketchy period at best, and those are the ones I remember.

It's hard to look back on a time on your life with fondness when your definition of a good morning was one where you felt relief at not staring into a toilet bowl full of blood.

Partly, I think, it's a knee-jerk on my part against the fundamentalist abstention ideology for me.

Yeah ... I fitted any definition of an alcoholic you can cite during that period, but I held down a succession of steady, responsible jobs, bought (and maintained mortgage payments on) my first home. And met the lovely lady who was to become my wife. I got better without the AA route of guilt and self-loathing.

Fuck. That's a bit heavy. Sorry!

Cheers

Jim

PS - Suddenly thinking of New Model Army's "Small Town England":

"Last week we all got really smashed
We couldn't stand up, it was a real laugh.
Next week it's gonna be just the same,
And the next, and the next, again and again ..."

"You've not lived until you've quaffed a 3 litre bottle of 'Turbo Cider' from the corner shop..."

Call that drinking?

I've drunk surgical spirit.

I can't recommend it, though, and lemonade doesn't really take the edge off as a mixer. In fact, it goes a cloudy white.

Next morning: simultaneous winner of prizes for worst hangover and cleanest mouth in Nottingham.

Cheers!

Jim

"Amateur hour Jim."

I bow to all the posters to this thread and their fine tales of responsible alcohol consumption.

It brings a tear to me eye and a lump to me trousers ... err, throat. My hat is respectfully doffed to all you real drinkers.

My actual point was about the unrealistic recommended limit, however.

I mean ... who even feels the effects of two 440ml cans of Kronenbourg? [1]

It just seems a bit daft to set a limit (which I notice they keep revising downwards periodically) which everyone is going to ignore. Two cans, and I'm not even getting started.

Cheers!

Jim


[1] Important disclaimer: I don't drive. If I did, I wouldn't drink at all before driving.

"Ah, Kestrel, that take me back, that was my training beer... my nanna used to buy me that!"

Your nan used to buy you Kestrel Super? Blimey.

On reflection, I'm glad my dalliance with super-strength lagers didn't last longer - that way madness, smelling of wee, and waking up on park benches, lies.

That particular drinking habit was ended by my encounter with one of those brands that you only seem to find in Happy Shoppers. A delightful brew called Crest Ultra which (apart from sounding like a brand of toothpaste) offered you 10% ABV for the princely sum of ?1 per 500ml can.

The only down side was that it turned you into an angry drunk. A really angry drunk.

It was so bad that my friends all left after I'd had two-and-a-half cans and I suspect that one of the reasons I felt so rough the following morning was that I'd actually beaten myself up.

Ahh ... happy days.

Cheers!

Jim

[FUCK?]

Apropos nothing at all, other than a general sense of outrage ...

I was round at some friends' house this afternoon for a barbecue (yes -- it was cold, and it was windy, but it's the August Bank Holidy and, fuck it, we were going to bloody well have a barbecue) and as I disposed of my second can of lager, I noticed the advisory printed on the can.

This informed me that the can contained 2.2 units of alcohol and that my recommended daily limit was four units.

What. The. FUCK?

Two cans of lager and I'm over my Tony-Blair-Sanctioned-Daily-Limit ...?

Fuck off! I had a gin and tonic for fucking breakfast today, and I don't drink a quarter of what I used to! [1]

Bloody nanny state.

Cheers!

Jim

[1] Personal bests:

Volume without vomiting (pub): 13.5 Newcastle Browns (the 0.5 was someone else's that they couldn't finish).

Volume without vomiting (home): equal tie - one full bottle of 40% ABV vodka (with mixer) followed by four cans of Kestrel Super. Or: Twenty-four 330ml cans of Heineken. That was depressing, because I didn't even feel pissed at the end of it. Never touched the stuff since.

Endurance: my 25th birthday.Started at two in the afternoon. Steady consumption of mixed drinks at the rate of one pint/double every 15-20 minutes. Stopped at 4.30 the following morning. Admission: performance enhancing pharmaceuticals involved.

"And then do they get a badge with the word ROOKIE on it? I remember Kraken had that.:

Drunken comedy reading comprehension problem: I mis-read that twice as 'WOOKIE' ...

Dear God, I'm such a nerd.

Cheers

Jim

"Nobody honks on an ABC Warrior and lives!"

That is, indeed, a fine 2000AD moment - one of the rare instances of a comic making me laugh out loud[1]. Of course, it only actually works because Kev Walker drew the accompanying image with the artistic equivalent of an entirely straight face.

Nonetheless, fantastic.

Cheers!

Jim

[1] I've said it before, and I have no doubt that I'll say it again ... possibly the funniest comic ever - 'The Beard Hunter' from Morrison's Doom Patrol. The Alan Moore throwaway gag, the Heinz 57 line - "57 varieties ... feels like I took 58", and the sublime "Niles Caulder - I've come for your beard." Just superb. Possibly the only finer comedy comic I can think of is DR & Quinch go to Hollywood.

" the story where Pat tried to give Dredd an ex girlfriend. "

Jesus, Logan! You can't drop a snippet like that in and leave us dangling! If you've got dirt, I wanna hear it ..

Cheers!

Jim