Things Skippy Can No Longer Do
in the U. S. Army
A list that made me laugh...
http://www.allowe.com/Humor/Things%20Skippy%20Can%20No%20Longer%20Do%20in%20the%20Army.htm (http://www.allowe.com/Humor/Things%20Skippy%20Can%20No%20Longer%20Do%20in%20the%20Army.htm)
an example:
The Microsoft® Dancing Paperclip is not authorized to countermand any orders.
"I'm drunk" is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
No dancing in the turret.
The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast porno movie soundtracks.
An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
Shouting, "Let's do the village! Let's do the whole fuckin' village!" while out on a mission is bad.
Should not show up at the front gate messily drunk, wearing part of a Russian uniform, even if my commander did it.
Must not teach interpreters how to make "MRE" bombs.
I am not authorized to sell mineral rights